The Bate Brothers' Adventures
by ThePizzaLovingTurtle
Summary: Splin Bate and Sharq Bate, one worries about everything, the other hasn't a care in the world. Together, these two make a probably unstoppable team! Follow their adventures through Inkopolis and beyond as they tackle anything that comes their way! Featuring two Inkling brothers, one irresponsible Octoling, and a little strong language. Thank you all so much for reading my story.
1. The Brothers Visit an Inkslide Park

Disclaimer: I don't own Splatoon, or any major Nintendo game series, but I do (kinda) own the individual characters in the story. If I did own Splatoon, penguins NPCs would be added as easter eggs.

...This disclaimer is stupid. Feel free to enjoy the story or don't, it's up to you!

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **The Brothers Visit an Ink Slide Park**

"Inkopolis. Breathtaking views, the freshest place on the planet, home of the Turf Wars!"

This is what many Inklings think of the great city, home to over a million different Inklings. They aren't wrong. From the beacon of battling known as the Inkopolis Tower, the awesome gear you can buy at the Booyah Base, and the freshest pop stars ever, "The Squid Sisters," this place has it all.

Unfortunately, while the pearly gates of fashion and fandom that it the Inkopolis Plaza and the action that comes in Turf Wars is insanely popular among the freshest squids on the block, that's not where we start the story. We actually start with two Inkling Boys, standing in front of a decaying ink slide park, one looking concerned for the others health and the other one looking like this is the biggest Turf War event ever to grace this city. I dunno why, it's their fault for coming here.

One Inkling wearing Designer Headphones, a Black Anchor Tee, and Orange Arrows stared in disbelief at the other Inkling wearing a Takoroka Cap, a White Anchor Tee, and Banana Basics, both a tannish color with brown eyes.

"...Sharq?" The concerned-looking Inkling spoke up.

"Yeah?" The other Inkling responded.

"Why are we here again?" The Inkling with headphones asked.

"I wanted to slide down a huge slide, why else?"

"Okay, so why didn't we just walk to the other, clean, fresh ink park over there?"

Turning their heads behind them, the pair of them gazed at a huge ink slide park full of glistening ink, smiling faces, and generally a good time. The entrance was grand, a cheerful looking female Inkling wearing a white uniform stationed in a glass ticket booth waved at the brothers then promptly laid her head down on her desk.

Turning their heads back, they faced an old, desolate ink park with crumbling walls, chipped paint, and slides that looked like they were about to crash any second. Slides stained with several gloomy colors towered over them and wobbled back and forth on rusty screws.

Creeeaakk… SNAP!

Speaking of which, one slide toppled over and smashed into the ground, splintered metal sliding everywhere.

"...Okay Sharq, unless this is some sort of prank, I say we get the heck out of here."

"What? Come on, Splin! It'll be fun, trust me!" Sharq said, not reassuring the other Inkling.

" _...Okay, this is insane. I gotta get Sharq outta here before he ends up flatter than the pancakes we ate this morning!"_ Splin thought, looking to the side.

"Wait a second." Splin looked around, confused, until he spotted Sharq up ahead, climbing up a ladder quicker than a Inkzooka blast.

"You gotta be squidding me." Splin muttered. He started to sprint.

* * *

Sharq was currently climbing up an approximately thirty feet high slide. This slide curved straight down through multiple loops, which might have been pretty fresh back in the day. Today, however, most of the parts were rusted, chipped, or bent to the point where one wrong slip could launch an Inkling to their doom.

This didn't seem to faze Sharq in the slightest. _"This is gonna be so cool!"_ Sharq thought.

Sharq reached into his pockets of his shorts. He then took out a .96 Gal ink gun, a gun with a thick barrel of blue ink, and began spraying ink down the slide through the nozzle. A steady stream began to emerge from the gun, and he thoroughly enjoyed himself until he heard an angry sounding voice.

"SHARQ!"

Confused, Sharq began looking around him. The voice shouted out his name again. He jolted up and glanced around. Sharq could not see anything. Eventually, he continued to search for the voice with varying degrees of confusion before staring at the sky.

"Cthulhu?" Sharq asked with an uncertain tone and shivered slightly. "Is that you?"

"NO, DOWN HERE."

Sharq began panicking, "Oh no, I'm going down THERE? No, please!" He lowered his ink weapon and shivered, "Please, I didn't me-"

"No." The voice appeared to groan as the noise of a palm of a hand slapped against something in the background

"Um, Okay?" Sharq clenched his eyes, surveyed the ground, spotting an angry looking Inkling who adjusted his headphones irritably.

"Oh, hi Splin!" Sharq shouted back, his terror gone and replaced with an expression of glee.

"Dude!" Splin yelled back at him, "Get down here, it's not safe up there!"

As if on cue, a bolt from the slide segment Sharq was sitting on came loose and fell thirty feet before hitting the ground with an audible, "clang". Splin gestured at it sharply with both of his hands with a frown.

Sharq pursed his lips and hummed as he stared up at the sky. "Alright, I'll come down."

Splin sighed in relief. "Thank y-"

"Through this awesome slide!" Sharq grinned then pushed forward.

"NO." The headphone Inkling groaned.

"Whee!" Sharq cheered, going down the slide.

As he descended down the slide creaked and started falling apart behind him. The ladder he had climbed detached from the side of the slide and slammed into the ground while the rest of the structure practically disintegrated at the speed it disassembled. Each time a part fell off, Sharq was bumped up into the air slightly with the river of blue that he had created, though he hardly seemed to notice and cheered regardless.

Splin, as he saw his friend slide down a death trap that really should have been taken care of by the Inkopolis Board of Safety, began sprinting to where he presumed was the exit of the slide. Splin followed Sharq as he swirled about in loops with gleeful laughs while he panicked below him. Skidding to a halt, what he saw next made him trip.

He lost balance and scratched his ankles on the pavement. "Ow."

Told ya.

The exit to the slide was partially dipped in a pool. This pool however was not filled with ink. The exit led to a body of water. The ink from the slide dripping in disintegrated immediately and faded in the liquid as if it were acid.

Splin cursed mentally and kicked at the ground. _"Lucky us. That water will melt him if I don't do something."_

Splin, eyes wide and heart(s) beating rapidly, got up off his knees and began to dart back and forth around the slide, looking for anything that could save Sharq's life while he continued to fall closer and closer to his demise. Turning his attention back to Sharq, everything seemed hopeless, until he saw something that gave him an idea. The areas Sharq was putting pressure on were loosening and falling off. Could he?

Turning back to the pool, he walked over, laid on his stomach and reached in.

"Gah!"

The water felt like a hundred needles piercing his hands. Despite the pain Splin, determined to save his friend, continued to reach out as the water stung, and started lifting the slide out of the water. Screws and bolts were being loosened, the slide started groaning in response to his pulling, until he managed to lift the end, onto the side of the pool, away from the water. The slide now curved to the point where Sharq couldn't drown! Splin felt pretty good, despite the stinging in his hands, until a realization hit him.

"What am I gonna catch Sharq with?"

He wondered, until Sharq came sliding down and hit him.

"Oof!" Sharq mumbled in surprise.

"Gah!" Splin cried out as he was squished.

"Oww… That felt…Great!" Sharq stated happily and dizzily. Shaking his head, he looked down. Briefly, he wondered why the ground was so soft.

Then he realized that his friend's back was definitely not ground.

"Oh! Hi Splin!" Sharq said stepping off of him.

"Ugh… Sharq?" Splin asked.

"Yeah?"

Splin picked himself off, dusted himself off, and grabbed Sharq by the shoulders. "Sharq, you're my brother." He stated.

"Yeah. I know that."

"Okay, good. But what I want to know is…" Splin put more pressure on Sharq, then stared him straight in the eyes, and shouted.

"YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SQUASHED BY THE SLIDE, FALLEN INTO A POOL OF WATER, OR WORSE. WHAT MADE YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!"

Sharq recoiled, before answering, "I-It was pretty fun though."

Splin sighed and wrapped his arms around his brother's neck and nestled his head into his shoulder. "...I'm just glad you're safe. Cod, that was the craziest thing I've ever seen you do"

Sharq laughed. "Aw, don't worry about me Splin! Hey, next time, we can go down a slide together! It'll be-"

"Fun?" Splin asked, much to Sharq's surprise. Before his brother could say anything, Splin interjected, "Thought you might say that. Next time we go down a slide, it's gonna be that one." Both brothers turned their heads, looking at the still shining ink park across the street.

"Well, we're still in one piece! Whaddya say we get a bite to eat, eh?" Sharq jabbed him with his elbow.

Splin shrugged and raised his hands in defeat. "Alright, fine. But I'm choosing the joint we eat at. I don't want you to lead us to a place where they'll make sushi out of us or something"

With that, the two Inklings trudged home side by side as ink and metallic debris clattered on the ground behind them, but stopped when Splin's head and tentacle…hair rose as he perked up in realization. "I just realized something."

Yeah, I already wrote that.

"What?" Sharq asked curiously.

"Do you think..." Splin folded his arms and bit his lip. "Do you think that fiddling with the slide might have caused the rest of them to..."

Creeeeeeaaakk…

They both glanced behind them. Sure enough, the remnants of the slide they messed around with began to tip and fall towards another bunch of ink rides. Right before it did, Splin turned to his brother and cleared his throat.

"Run." Splin whispered with concern in his face.

Sharq laughed and laughed much to his brother's surprise, then stared back at Splin. He mirrored his serious expression. "Don't have to tell me twice!" Sharq yelled after him, as they simultaneously dashed away, the slide crashing behind them.

As they sprinted out of the park, the cacophony of glass that shattered, metal that clanged, and ink that splattered sounded off behind them. The brothers just picked up the pace, turned a corner, and fled from the park while they hoped that no one saw them as they ran.

* * *

AN: The Bate Bros. was an idea I had ever since Splatoon came out of two Inkling brothers going on adventures together. However, because I was slacking off, a bunch of other stories began doing similar things with their Inklings before I posted this story. Forgive me, fellow authors, if my story seems similar to yours. Anyways, this story was really more of a test, considering I took so long to get this one chapter out. I'd like to know what you people think of my story, and if I should continue the misadventures of Splin Bate and Sharq Bate. Until then however, I'd like to thank you all, this is ThePizza-LovingTurtle, thank you for reading this story.

Post-Story Completion Author's Note: I might tweak a few chapters in this story to make it look a little better; the characters will use better or more believable lines, a few of the references and jokes will be fixed to flow better or be removed so that the story can be enjoyed much more thoroughly. So any returning readers, if you see anything bizarre, that's me fiddling with the story again! Thanks for understanding!


	2. The Brothers and the Slow News Day

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Slow News Day**

The two brothers, now exhausted from the slide incident, stopped to catch their breath at a mall outlet.

"That was a close call!" Sharq exclaimed, still panting.

"Hope no one saw that." Splin remarked, propping his hand up against a wall for support. "I'm not sure what the penalty for destroying half of an ancient ink park is, but what I AM sure of is that we wouldn't go free with a slap on the wrist."

Just then, a whirring sound could be heard from behind the wall Splin was lying against. Curious, the two climbed over the wall, only to quickly duck their heads down when a couple police cruisers rolled by. Both deciding it would be a good idea to keep their heads like that, they shuffled away, whistling completely inconspicuously.

A young Inkling squid girl grasping a balloon, sitting by an older Inkling woman wearing a business suit tapping away at a tablet simply stared at the two brothers.

Looking up, she asked, "Mommy? What are those two boys doing?"

The Inkling woman simply stated, "Probably having fun, dear. You'll understand when you're older," going back to tapping on her tablet.

Scrunching her face, she protested, "But-"

Hey, shush! They're inconspicuous!

She immediately closed her mouth, and looked around in fear. "W-Where did that come from?" The Inkling woman looked up lazily, then back at her tablet, sighing. "Your imagination, dear."

Uh… We now come back to our heroes, still walking away, COMPLETELY unnoticed.

"What the?" "Hey, what are those two boys doing?" "Is that some sort of new dance move?" A crowd began forming around our two young Inklings.

"Shoot. That didn't work." Splin whispered, looking around the crowd.

"D-Do you think they know?" Sharq asked nervously.

"Hopefully not, I don't think we were being recorded."

Unfortunately for the brothers, a voice rang out saying, "HEY! LOOK, IT'S THE TWO BOYS FROM THE NEWS!"

"Nevermind."

"Uh, they're not talking about US, right?"

"YEAH, LOOK OVER THERE! THE TWO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD!"

"Oh boy." Splin said, backing up into Sharq.

"Stand back!" Sharq ordered the crowd, getting into a defensive stance.

"OH, THE ONES BEING FILMED RIGHT NOW?"

"YEAH, THEY RAN AT THE SAME TIME THE OLD SPLATFEST INK PARK GOT LEVELED!"

"YOU CAN SEE IT ON THE GIANT T.V.!"

Both of the Bate Bros. gulped at the same time, and turned their heads. True enough, they were being filmed a cameraman in a helicopter, broadcasting all over Inkopolis.

"Okay, they know it's us!" Sharq yelled frantically, as the crowd began to move in to interrogate them. Splin sighed, and looked skywards. "I know I haven't asked much from you, but I ask you to help us through this."

Um. Alright, s-so the two brothers snuck out of the crowd COMPLETELY INVISIBLE.

Splin and Sharq looked at each other for a second, before shrugging and attempting to tiptoe through the crowd. However, all this did was move the crowd in the direction they walked, keeping them in the center.

"Splin, do you have a plan?" Sharq whispered.

"You know I do." Splin responded.

"What is it?"

"This!"

Splin took out a Forge Splattershot Pro, aiming at the crowd.

"We don't want any trouble, just let us go!" Splin shouted to the crowd. However, because the hub world in Splatoon prevents weapons from being fired, all that happened when he pulled the trigger was zoom in on the crowd, who at this point, started to grow in size.

"Crud!" Splin exclaimed.

"What now Splin?"  
"Same plan as last time."

"Oh."

With that being said, the two sprinted as fast as they could out of the crowd, the newscopter still chasing them. As they ran, they could hear the news playing on the screens all around them throughout the entire city. The Inkopolis News theme started playing, and everyone's favorite popstar duo came up onscreen.

"Wait, what?! Seriously, I know we broke a slide or two, but how does that give them enough material to make an entire show about us?! That's just stupid!" Splin cried, dodging reporters.

"Hold onto your tentacles…" Callie said on screen.

"Really slow news day?!" Sharq suggested, nearly running into a horde of other teenage Inklings asking for autographs.

"It's Inkopolis News Time!" Marie added.

"Wait, maybe they'll say something that'll get these guys off our tentacles so we can go home!" Splin said, before raising his hand to his chin. "...Considering what's happened so far, that's probably too much of a far cry, isn't it?"

"Before we reveal the current stages, some special news!" Callie said proudly.

"What is it?" Marie asked.

"Oh, maybe it'll just be Splatfest news!" Sharq yelped, an Inkling girl attached herself to his leg.

"Sign my face!" She yelled.

Freaked out, Sharq took out his .96 Gal and shot her in the face.

"Sorry!" He yelled back. However, the girl seemed quite happy with the results, and walked over to a group of other teens, who began congratulating her for some dumb reason. "Wait, how come you can use your weapon but I can't?!" Splin questioned. Sharq just stared at his .96 Gal, then looked back at him and shrugged, Splin sighing as a result.

"We're receiving reports that two troublemakers are running amongst the city, causing mayhem!" Callie said, pumping her fist in the air, because she seems to do that whenever she's excited. "The old ink park was their first area of attack!"

"Waterslides are the best by the way." Marie whispered, before saying, "Let's go to the Newschopper 45 and watch!" The screens all switched to an Inkling providing commentary on the poor brothers as they raced through the streets.

"As well as completely trashing the old ink park that we so dearly loved…"

Splin shouted, "I KNEW we shouldn't have gone in there!" Sharq merely rolled his eyes.

"Okay, this has gone long enough! Sharq, I think we can lose them if we super jump over… There!" Splin pointed at the center of Inkopolis itself, the Inkopolis Tower. "We can lose them somewhere in the Plaza afterwards!"

Sharq, looking around, nodded and said, "Alright, I'm with you. Tell me when to jump!"

"On 3!"

"1!" The crowd was getting closer.

"2!" Police starting breaking through the ranks.

"3!" Just as they were about to get caught, they immediately switched to squid form and leaped!

The crowd didn't seem to notice, and kept running. Now in the sky, Splin and Sharq looked down at the chaos while hurdling towards the tower. Breathing sighs of relief, they started to relax until Splin realized something again.

"...Sharq, you might wanna brace yourself." Splin warned.

"Alright! I'm just glad we made it!" Sharq said, a smile on his face as he dipped through the clouds.

"No, seriously. And we haven't made it out yet." Splin's tone got harsher.

"...Why?" Sharq asked.

"When I made the calculations for the super jump in my head, it saved us from the mob. However, because the tower's size and location was much different than the Squid Beacons we use in Turf Wars, I had to make some hypotheses…"

"ZZzzzZZ…" Splin looked over at his brother, now dozing off. He sighed, slightly irritated, and began shaking Sharq until he woke up.

"...Huh, sorry. Something about Squid Beacons?" Sharq yawned.

"...Yeah, okay, what I was about to- OOF." "BLAGH!"

Splin said, before he and Sharq slammed into the middle of Inkopolis Plaza.

"...ow."

Hey, Inklings can't take fall damage! Shake it off you two.

After being logic-ed by the story, the two shook it off without any trouble.

Crack! "Gah! We don't even have bones!" Splin cried, causing Inklings nearby to stare in confusion and concern.

Sorry, I guess my observations aren't exactly accurate.

"Screw you too voice!" Sharq exclaimed in pain.

"Are you guys alright?" An Inkling boy sitting on a railing asked.

"Yeah… We don't take fall damage after all. ...Right?" Sharq asked uncertain.

There we go.

Sharq sat back in relief.

"...Hmm." Splin said, surveying the sky.

"What is it?" Sharq asked.

"Whatever happened to the helicopter?" Splin questioned, "Wouldn't they have followed us through the sky or track our trajectory?" He pondered this, until the giant monitor above the Squid Sisters' studio came to life.

"The two suspects we have been following super jumped to who knows where!" Callie said, bubbly as ever. "Apparently the cloud layer was too thick for the pilot! We're not even sure if they're alive!"

That last bit had Splin shiver a bit.

"Whoo!" Sharq cheered, raising his hand for a high-five, drawing suspicion from the Inklings in the plaza.

"...Sure." Splin shrugged, and slapped his brother's hand.

"Why does all of the exciting news run away?" Callie asked, distressed.

"Hmm. Kinda like everyone who sees you without makeup in the morning." Marie sassed.

At this point, literally everyone who watched this simultaneously went insane over the sick burn Marie just laid on her cousin. Staring in disbelief, Callie's expression immediately went from confusion to inked off. She walked over to her cousin, then turned to the screen saying, "We'll be right back after these messages. Stay FRESH!" Callie shouted, then jumped at Marie. The entire screen flashed to a "Please Stand By" message with the Squid Sisters performing their iconic pose. Splin and Sharq just stared wide-eyed at what happened. Everyone around them completely forgot about the story earlier and began talking to every one of their friends about the roast.

"...Sharq." Splin said tiredly.

"...Yeah?" Sharq said, just as tired as his brother.

"...Let's go home." Splin coughed that last word out, and limped away from the plaza, before collapsing and falling asleep near a vending machine.

"...Ugh." Sharq said, following him, then falling right next to him, straight off to dreamland.

The passerby were still unaware and talking about the news. No one seemed to mention or remember the ink slide incident, but everyone would remember the time Marie sassed Callie, similar to literally every other news post ever.

* * *

AN: Well, I couldn't decide if anyone really wanted to read my story, so I'm really just putting chapters out there right now, seeing if it'll take off. Thanks again for reading if you have read, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, have a nice day!


	3. The Brothers Actually Play The Game P1

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Splin and Sharq Play The Game: Part 1  
**

After the completely unrealistic turn of events that happened the night before, the sun now shined once again on Inkopolis Plaza, Inklings woke up, the shopkeepers started to open the Booyah Base, and Callie and Marie were seen entering their studio, albeit the former looked agitated and tired whereas the latter had a bit of a scratch and a smirk on her face. Even the alleyway between the Squid Sister studio and the Battle Dojo lit up slightly, a certain street urchin stretched and sat, waiting for any potential buyers. The only two people in the plaza who seemed to get up on the wrong side of the bed was our two heroes themselves, still passed out sitting by the vending machine due to last chapter's misadventures. Excuse me for a moment.

Snoring peacefully, Splin and Sharq laid at the bottom of the vending machine, as if nothing went wrong.

...Okay, this is going nowhere. HEY, WAKE UP! THE STORY'S ABOUT TO START!

Splin stirred somewhat but continued to ignore the plot with his loud snores.

Hmm… Aha! Lemme just give them a little incentive…

BWWWOOOOOOOOO!

"AAUGH!"

"WHAT THE-"

The two sprang up and immediately tripped over each other. Airhorns work every time.

"Aw, come on!" Splin complained as he got up shakily.

"...Uh, morning already?" Sharq asked, still half-asleep.

Here, lemme help you with that.

A Slosher bucket was then tossed at Sharq out of nowhere, splashing him with cold ink.

"GAH OKAY I'M GOOD I'M AWAKE!" Sharq yelled.

There's my enthusiastic guy! Ahem, anyway.

"Dude, we almost got splatted thrice yesterday, I think we deserve this rest!" Splin said, as he stooped to sit down before he stopped and stood back up. "Wait, why would I go back to sleep here? Ah, that's beside the point! The point is, Sharq and I should be at home! Yesterday was freaking insane, and I want no part of any more of this stuff!"

Splin opened his mouth to ramble on more, but paused and looked around. Inklings were flooding into the plaza, giving him and Sharq weird looks as they passed by. One girl had her phone out, ready to call emergency services. Standing straight, he coughed and waved. The passerby simply walked away with weird looks or went back to their business.

Splin simply sighed again and sat back down next to Sharq, who was staring at the Inkopolis News monitor.

"Sharq, what are you doing?" Splin asked, eyes half-shut.

"Waiting for the news to start," Sharq stated, turning back to the huge screen. Splin did the same. _"Hmm… Wonder if people still remember the incident? Wait, what am I saying, of course they do! It was a whole ink park!"_ Splin stared at the screen, still pondering his thoughts.

"Hey, did you hear about what happened on the news yesterday?" A Blue Inkling girl asked her friend as she walked past.

"Shoot." Splin buried his head in his lap, took his headphones off his head and around his neck, and put his hands around his head, waiting for them to notice him and call the authorities. _"Man, I had so many plans. A huge house to buy, maybe even become a musician, oh boy, here it comes-"_

"Yeah, Callie got completely owned!" A Cyan Inkling boy said, laughing. "Man, that was awesome!"

Splin facepalmed so hard you could hear it throughout the plaza. "Ouch," Splin stated simply. "Didya hear that Splin?" Sharq sat up. "No one remembers us! Hah, all thanks to Marie and her sassiness!"

"I suppose that's good and all," Splin said, "But now what do we do? What happened yesterday was crazy, I'm not willing to walk all the way back to home, and we don't have any coins left for the train or bus! I should've brought some. Wait a second…" Splin turned to Sharq. "You brought money, right?"

"Hmm?" Sharq was currently chugging down a bottle of Gator-Cola, quench your thirst with the mighty power of the river gators! (This is not at all a paid message.)

"..." Splin turned back to the vending machine. A bottle of Gator-Cola was missing. "Great, just great. Now, what do we do?"

"Meow. (You could always play in a Turf War.)"

"Huh?" Splin looked up, and spotted Judd, lazily pointing to the Inkopolis Tower. "Oh. Right, forgot about that. ...Hey, why do they give us free money for that anyway?" Judd simply shrugged, "Meooow. (Go ahead, they're announcing the stages right nyao.)" Judd stated, before falling asleep again.

Splin looked back at the monitor, and it showed the Squid Sisters showcasing the different stages.

"Let's unveil the current regular battle stages!" Callie said cheerfully, seemingly ignorant of the events yesterday.

"All right!" Marie added, rubbing her cheek where a scratch was.

"Uh, skip!" Sharq yawned, pulling Splin with him into the Inkopolis Tower, much to the chagrin of Splin, who was trying to strategize. "Less thinking, more splatting dude!" Sharq smiled broadly, running into the tower. "At least let me change out my gear first!" Splin protested. Sharq stopped and let go of Splin, saying, "Oh, right! We meet back here in a couple minutes," With that being said, Sharq ran off to who knows where. Picking himself up, he walked over to a changing area and began preparing.

* * *

-3 Minutes Later-

I'm not making this stuff up, I mean all it takes on the equip screen is a click of a button so of course, they would get done in like three minutes. Anyways, when Splin came out of the changing room, he swapped out his Black Anchor Tee with a Fami- I mean, Retro Gamer Jersey, and was holding a Tentatek Splattershot.

"Hey Splin, I'm back!" Upon hearing Sharq, Splin swerved his head towards the entrance of the tower. Sharq now wore a Camo Zip Hoodie instead of his White Anchor Tee and lifted a Krak-On Splat Roller.

"Alright, you ready?" Splin asked, sizing up his teammate. "We're gonna need more than Kraken specials if we're gonna earn enough to get home."

"One second… Here we go!" Sharq said, attaching a counter to the roller.

"What's the counter for?" Splin asked.

"Just recording how many people I'm gonna completely flatten!" Sharq exclaimed proudly.

"That seems a little Strange, doesn't it?" Splin said.

Yep, I went there.

* * *

"Hmm… I don't know why, but I feel really irritated right now." Callie said, her hand on her cheek. She was sitting across a small table from her cousin, overlooking the plaza. Marie just stared at her in silence awkwardly, until she sighed. "...Sorry."

"Huh?" Callie turned to face her co-star. "O-Oh, no I didn't mean what happened earlier. It's just, you know that feeling when something just feels…"

"Off?" Marie suggested, looking at the plaza, bored.

"...Something like that." She said, looking out at the plaza. "Marie?"

"Yeah?" The white-haired Inkling asked.

"Thanks." She said, turning back to face the outside.

"...Why?"

"Even if you did completely embarrass me on T.V…" Callie chuckled, "I'm just glad you're still my friend."

Confused, Marie asked, "What brought this up? Are you feeling alright Callie?"

Smiling, Callie responded, "Just fine, **sis.** "

Marie smiled slightly too. "I'm glad, then."

They looked out on the plaza together.

* * *

I think so! Find out the exciting (hopefully) conclusion to this chapter of the Bate Brothers' Adventures!

* * *

AN: I really hoped I got down Callie and Marie's personalities, I'm not great at writing about other characters other than my own. Also, thank you NSPFan and Anon360 for reviewing my story, even if it was just little comments about the sick burn. Thank you all for reading my story so far, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to bed for me!

Edit: Fixed a reference out of the story. I thought it was a little odd!


	4. The Brothers Actually Play The Game P2

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **They Play The Game For Real This Time, I Swear**

Saltspray Rig. One of the classic maps from Inkopolis. Day and night, this has always been a map Inklings loved to play on, with it's elevators, boxes, cranes, it's no wonder many come here to practice their overall skills. The only problem people had with it was falling to their watery graves each time they made a misstep. This is where the stage was set for our two siblings, each now spawning at the right platform, opposite of the opposing team.

Popping up from the spawn point, Splin and Sharq now both donned a light-green hairstyle, ready to battle. The other team, a reddish-orange, also arrived, three female Inklings and a male. The male was wearing a Paintball Mask, a Varsity Jacket, and White Seahorses. His weapon of choice was a Custom Splattershot Jr., the other three all holding a Splat, Krak-On, and Dynamo Roller respectively. The other three Inkling girls all wore Paintball Masks as well, and a pair of Cherry Kicks. What was most unusual about their gear, was that each of them had White Tees that had "A-R-I" written in Inkling. (Look I dunno what the official language is named, sheesh)

"Hmm…" Splin observed the other team from a distance, mentally paging down the various strengths and weaknesses of the weapons. "They have quite a few close ranged weapons. Hm. I think if our teammates have Chargers and Blasters, we could move in for the kill while they cover us."

"Where are our teammates anyway?" Sharq asked, looking around.

Just then, two other squids popped up. These two were a pair of Inkling boys. One sported a Bamboozler 14 MK I, the other with a Range Blaster. Before they could do anything however, the two new additions to the team poofed out of thin air, leaving a cloud of light-green dust behind. The brothers blinked in response before the realization dawned on them.

"THEY BAILED ON US!" Sharq yelled in anguish, sinking down to his knees.

Hey it's hard for me too, I had to introduce those characters for nothing.

"You never described their clothing gear," Splin pointed out.

"DUDE, WE'RE DOOMED! THOSE GUYS ARE GONNA COMPLETELY STEAMROLL US." Sharq cried. Splin simply blinked, before saying, "We're not playing to win, Sharq. All we need to do is play well enough to get paid." Splin stated.

Just then, a voice rang out on from across the opposite side. "You guys are really in for it now!" The male Inkling from the other team laughed. "Say, what do you say we make a wager? Winner of the Turf War gets the other team's cash!" He shouted, causing the other females on his team to giggle slightly.

Splin simply stared, before shouting back, "Okay that's stupid! You think we'd risk our bus fare home for a bet?!" Sharq, raising his hands to his mouth in the other team's direction, shouted, "Nice try dude, we aren't falling for it!" He yelled.

"You hear that girls? Looks like these two need a bus ride home, what's the matter, mommy left you all alone?" The Inkling boy yelled, causing the females with him to laugh harder. "Wouldn't surprise me!"

However, this had a negative effect on Sharq, who's normally happy-go-lucky exterior shifted to gloomy. Sharq whimpered, and sat in the corner of the spawn.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I strike a nerve?" The rouge red jeered, "Maybe your parents were just as bad as raising you as you probably are at playing in Turf Wars! "

Upon hearing this, Sharq turned, sadness etched on his face. "Splin…!" He said quietly, looking at his brother. Splin, shocked, adopted a face of anger. "Yeah." Splin responded, and quickly huddled with his brother, whispering plans.

"Heh. Good luck trying to beat us with only two people, you're gonna NEED IT." He shouted finally, and went to celebrate his insults with the females.

"D-Dude. That's harsh." Sharq muttered. Splin sighed heavily, "I know Sharq. I know you're upset, but we gotta work through this together. These guys don't even know us, they're just talking trash. We can do this." Splin stood up. "We are the main characters, right? ...Er, of this match."

This got Sharq to smile slightly. "...I guess?"

"We're not doing this just for a bus fare anymore. Let's do this in memory of them..." Sharq turned over to his brother. "After all, we can't let this guy get the last laugh or disappoint our folks, right?" Splin stated finally.

Sharq sniffled a bit. "Fine. ...You always know how to cheer me up." Sharq smiled though with determined eyes.

 _"In all fairness, it isn't that hard."_ Splin thought to himself with a smile as well.

"So what's the plan, Splin?" Sharq asked curiously.

Splin smiled as well. "Get your Kraken special ready, here's what we do..."

* * *

"Are you two losers ready… TO LOSE?" The male enemy Inkling yelled to them from across the realm.

Turning their heads towards the enemy base, the two brothers merely rolled their eyes at the insult. "Sure," Sharq said with a grin.

"But don't get salty when you do!" Splin finished with a scowl.

The other Inkling merely held his head high and gave them an "L" gesture over his forehead. "...W-We'll see about that!" He whispered to himself.

3...2...1… GO!

The chime signaled the start of the match. Splin hopped ahead, spraying forwards to the higher areas of the map, whereas Sharq deployed his Roller, and ran towards the bottom platform using the left pathway from his base.

The other team immediately sprang to action, each roller painting around their spawn, and jumping down from their spawn to the areas below. The cocky boy from earlier chuckled, and went straight to the upper box areas.

Sharq was currently laying down paint on the lowest platform, making sure to get each and every spot green. "Looking good!" He remarked.

Just then, a shadow appeared above him. "Oh boy." Sharq quickly switched to squid form and hid in the stack of boxes. The Dynamo Roller continuously flung waves of ink at the boxes to try and splat Sharq, but to no avail. Curious, she stepped down from the safety of her spawn and began rolling past. Upon rolling nearby the box, a voice whispered to her:

"Looking for me?" Sharq then hopped out of his hiding spot and whacked her with the Roller.

However, he neglected to jut the roller head out first and instead he knocked her out cold with the butt of the weapon.

"Oh. Uh…" Sharq looked around nervously, "Okay." He shrugged, then began to roll over her multiple times until she was splatted. He walked across her mess and uttered, "Sorry."

He then ran towards the higher platforms, covering the metal paths as he ran.

* * *

Splin currently was on top of a pile of metallic storage crates, firing away at the ground using his Tentatek Splattershot, gaining more points and charging up for his special. Spotting two of the enemy team walking his way, he hid in his ink, on top of the crate. The two rollers, unaware of the threat, began to cover the area in orange, until they reached the crates Splin was hiding in. Covering the boxes in their ink, they swam up and was about to reach the top until…

"Take this!" Splin grunted, tossing a Suction Bomb on top. Surprised, the two rollers swam away. The regular Roller took position, tossing another Suction Bomb towards Splin, but he jumped off towards the Roller. She began flinging ink at him, until a clicking sound could be heard from her ink tank.

"Gotcha." Splin said, before he managed to shoot the girl into oblivion, leaving nothing but a slowly disintegrating pile of clothes. "That makes it sound kinda weird, doesn't it?"

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Smack! Splin recoiled and grunted as he felt himself get punted towards the ground.

"Ow, sorry!" Splin rubbed the area on his head, before he remembered something, or someone.

Suddenly, a glint appeared, and a "shing!" could be heard. The Krak-On Roller, waiting for an opportunity, transformed into a Kraken, and began chasing Splin around the area! He began swimming in circles to evade her, and quickly shifted course. The Kraken, seeing his ripples in the ink, followed after him in hot pursuit. The ripples lead up to one of the twin columns on the ramp that connected the middle and top areas. Splin, after climbing to the top, jumps off and over a small gap, back towards the crates. The Kraken follows and leaps up for one final attack-

Only to find out she has run out of her special. She then falls towards the water, and back to her spawn in the process.

Swimming back up to the top of the crates, Splin begins throwing bombs everywhere, making sure the area is covered. Staring at the timer, there was only 50 seconds left on the clock, with the map slowly getting covered in green.

Maybe he could do this! Splin breathed a sigh of relief, until he spotted something flying towards the base. The enemy boy super jumped to the girl's previous location! He began spraying all of the green spots, quickly undoing Splin's work. Mentally facepalming for not trying to take care of the super jumper himself, he jumped off the crates and began spraying towards the enemy. The battle quickly became a high energy shootout, until Splin ran out of ammo. He started back to the crates, but was soon almost completely surrounded by the entire other team. The boy from before threw a Disruptor at him, and activated his Echolocation special.

"Any last words, squid?" The orange boy asked mockingly.

"No, I'll just let my brother do the talking. NOW SHARQ!" Splinc called upwards.

Immediately upon saying that, two things happened within five seconds. Splin activated his Inkzooka, and pointed it up at the sky with the barrel ready. A whistling noise could be heard, as Sharq dived in squid form straight into the Inkzooka barrel. Pointing the gun at the ground, Splin pulled the trigger. Sharq flew straight into the ground, now in Kraken form, slamming the rig. The force caused the enemy team to lose balance, which gave the brothers enough time to strike. Both attacking at the same time, blasting and ramming into foes, the entire area was covered in green shortly.

Just then, the timer ran out. Judd arrived, seemingly from the bottom of the screen, and held a flag up. "Green team wins, by .01 points!"

Falling to their knees, the enemy team's jaws collectively slammed into the floor. "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" The male yelled in defeat, the females following his lead, arguing and complaining.

Staring in amazement at the battlefield, Splin and Sharq merely smiled. Sharq thrust his fist out towards his brother, eliciting an eyebrow raise. Nonetheless, Splin lightly punched his fist in a fistbump.

That's how you do it, ladies and gentlemen!

* * *

"OKAY, I WANNA KNOW HOW YOU DID IT." Back at the Inkopolis Tower, it was sunset, and the other players were still slightly salty. Splin and Sharq changed back into their regular attire, the Anchors on their Tees reflecting off the last of the sunlight. The enemy team ditched the Paintball Masks, instead the male was wearing a Jungle Hat, the three other members of his team now wearing headbands, again with A-R-I written on them in Inkling. Seriously Nintendo needs to find a proper name for this language. "You probably cheated, no one beats me that easily! No one I've ever faced!"

"Meow. (Here's your shares, good game.)" Judd the cat yawned and walked up to them gave them all the coins as promised, before walking out to his podium to take a nap. The opposing team, slumped in defeat, reluctantly handed over their coins, before Sharq stopped them. "Eh, you guys can keep 'em! We have enough for the bus ride home now!" Sharq cheered, hopping up and down with his new bag of coins.

"You still didn't answer my question." The other Inkling boy grunted through gritted teeth.

Splin just shrugged, before explaining, "...Uh, if I'd have to wager a guess, you guys went for splats more, leaving you wide open. All Sharq and I did was take advantage of that."

Sharq chuckled, "Seriously, you could've gunned Splin down right then and there!"

"Err, right." Splin rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Hey, shut up you wimp!" The enemy Inkling shouted at Sharq. "You… Scrub!" He said, pointing accusingly.

Sharq stared at him for a while, before laughing. "Nice try man, but that doesn't work on me anymore. Besides," Grabbing his brother by the shoulder, he said, "You can't do squat man, this guy right here's my family, and he kicked your tails!" Splin smiled.

"Although, besides insulting us every couple of seconds, you were… pretty good. What's your names?" Sharq asked.

"...Dude, they really got you down, you sure you wanna make friends?" Splin pointed out with a bead of sweat.

Ignoring Splin, the boy said, "...Ah ha! Finally recognizing talent for once? All right, I'm gonna let you two in on a little secret, me and my girls were just going easy on you this one time!"

The aforementioned females blushed a bit, looking in different directions. "The name's Ari Jabin! Next time me, Sari, Rit, and Bas will completely pulverize you!"

"Yeah!" His squadron cheered on behind him.

The four of them all struck a pose, before Ari dashed off into the sunset, Sari, Rit, and Bas following behind.

Splin and Sharq simply yawned simultaneously. "All right," Splin began, "Let's head home, I think that's enough bull shrimp for today." They began the trek to the nearest bus stop when Splin, for like the third time this story, realized something.

"Today's Sunday." Splin stated.

"Yeah?" Sharq said, smiling.

"THE BUS LEAVES EARLY ON SUNDAYS!" Splin yelled, falling to the ground. Sharq's eyes went wide, and followed suit. "Ugh… Great. Now we gotta go to a hotel, spend our money, wake up, and redo the process all over again!" Splin cried out.

Or, you know. You could've just super jumped over there like you did in an earlier chapter.

Perking his head up, Splin's eyes were wide and bloodshot. Clutching his head, he laid on the ground and rolled over, face planted on the cement. Asking his brother, slightly muffled, "Sharq?"

"Yeah?" Sharq responded concerned.

Pushing his face off the floor, Splin adjusted his headphones around his neck, and sighed. "Let's actually go home, for real this time." Sharq just patted Splin on the back, saying, "Alright, alright. I could really go for..." Sharq yawns, "A nap," He said, adjusting his cap so that it would fit on tightly. The two then switched into squid form, and aimed for the sky. "Here we go again." Splin stated tiredly, as the two leaped into the fading red sky.

* * *

AN: Bet you didn't expect all that writing? Sorry if the characters got a little too much like overpowered Inklings in the Turf War scenes, I'm trying to make Splin and Sharq as good as Turf War without overpowering the humor by making it a huge contradiction. I'd appreciate any extra criticism, considering this story is really just going with the flow right now. Thanks again to Anon360 for sticking with my dumb story idea! I appreciate it, and yeah, I always liked the Black Anchor Tee, I was surprised that not a lot of people wrote about characters with those. Also, Anon360, to address the roller issue earlier, sorry, I guess I didn't really specify the roller too much, huh? I meant to say, the "Regular Splat Roller" tossed the bomb, while the "Krak-On" used the Kraken special. Sorry. Anyway, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, signing off once more.


	5. The Brothers Are Home Free?

**Splatoon: The Bate Brothers**

 **We're Home Free, Right?**

After the incredibly taxing and over complicated events that took place, Splin and Sharq were now relaxing at their home.

The house was interesting to say the least, if you looked at it from a distance, you might've thought the owners didn't have a lot of money to spare for renovations. Technically, it was true. The top of the house, where a second floor would normally be, was flat aside from a railing around the edges and had a huge trapdoor that could be opened, leading into the first floor. The "roof" also sported two new Inkling sized holes, a result of Splin's method of travel.

The inside was nothing too special either. The trapdoor on the roof led down a small set of stairs, that immediately led towards a set of beds in one of the corners of the house, a dresser with a lamp and an alarm clock wedged between them. One bed had a laptop as well as a mouse positioned on a mouse-pad, the other covered with a bunch of video games and snacks, both generally messy and ruffled. A regular television with multiple video game platforms and cables was situated on the left side of the house, just in front of the beds. On the other side laid a small kitchen containing a refrigerator, counters, a few stoves, cabinets, a sink, and a toaster oven, all crammed together.

An extremely small and easily forgettable chimney was also awkwardly situated by the kitchen, jutting out the side of the house. Looking from outside the house, there were 2 sets of windows, one in the front, and one in the back. The front had two doors, and a small platform leading up to it. The house was small compared to some of the more lavish Inklings, but I suppose the main selling point was the fact that it was on a hill, overlooking Inkopolis, away from the public eye. You could probably see all of Inkopolis with a good enough telescope.

All in all, I give it a 0.6/10, if I'm gonna be honest.

"No one asked you," Splin snapped, rubbing his head with an ice pack as he laid on his bed, his feet dangled by his laptop.

"So what now, Splin?" Sharq asked, sitting on his bed, a sack of ice cubes on his head.

Splin sat up, and turned to face Sharq. "We fell out of the sky twice in the past fourty-eight hours, Sharq. I think we both know we deserve this downtime." Grabbing a remote, Splin simply flicked on the T.V., where it then went straight to a news flash.

On the screen, a news logo flashed on and across then cut to a large mahogany desk. The logo remained on the bottom right of the screen as a well-dressed Inkling reporter in a shirt, his tentacles groomed and neatly tied in a bun, stacked a few paper files on his desk. He calmly folded his arm and stared straight at the camera.

"Today, all of Inkopolis is in alert and worry as the Squid Sisters went missing." The Inkling reporter told the viewers.

"Uh." Splin's eyebrows were raised as a bead of sweat dripped down his face.

"Not only that, but the Inkopolis Plaza is under attack! Multiple victims have been found dead or mortally injured!" Another voice pitched in from off-screen. It did not strike Splin as very professional.

"Huh?" Sharq's eyes went wide in shock.

"Finally, we go live on the scene, a fight breaking down in the plaza right now!" Yet another voice called in. Splin folded his arm in disbelief and scoffed.

Then the image changed. Though it was blurry and lots of static obscured bits of the screen, sure enough, chaos was ensuing in the center of the plaza. The Booyah Base's large glass windows were shattered, the pavement was cracked, and a group of Inklings who I would like to name but won't in fear of legal action were all battling it out with another one, emanating power.

It was complete disarray and disorder. The brothers' mouths gaped open. Sharq even glanced at the back of the house in worry.

"What the heck." Splin stated in disbelief. "ALL THIS WENT DOWN AFTER WE JUMPED OUT OF THERE?!"

Maybe, maybe not.

"Huh?" Sharq's triangular Inkling ears twitched as he glanced up towards the ceiling. He pushed away some of the wrappers on the floor, Splin's fragile mind practically crackling as a chip bag was littered onto the house floor, "What's that supposed to mean?" Sharq asked.

Don't worry about it, we'll cross that dimensional bridge when we get to it.

Splin and Sharq both looked at each other with a look of puzzlement before they turned back to the television screen, concern evident on their faces. They watched the battle for a while. A few of the Inklings yelled and pulled out weapons like Inkbrushes. Splin felt like it was incredibly unrealistic. The fact that several explosions sounded off in the broadcast while the world around them just sounded like evening bird calls just made it seem like it was some sort of show. Realistic, yet not at all.

Eventually, Sharq sighed and leaned back, "Hope those people turn out alright," Sharq said, before lying back down on his bed.

Splin nodded, before turning off the monitor. Resting on the cot, he stared at the ceiling for a while, before speaking up.

"Sharq," he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"What do you mean?" Sharq said, placing a hand on his forehead, before recoiling and adjusting the sack of ice cubes on his head.

"I mean, you aren't feeling down after what Ari said about… You know." Splin rubbed the back of his neck.

Sharq sighed. "It's all done already. He probably didn't mean anything by it, he was just playing with us." Turning his body away from Splin, Sharq continued. "...Mom and Dad are gone. It's been years since they…um..." Sharq bit his lip, before he cleared his throat. "...They wouldn't want us to worry."

Splin nodded, looking at his laptop. A digitally saved picture was on the desktop. Zooming in, Splin could see a young Inkling man and woman, with two younger child squids at their feet. The man was wearing a pair of Tinted Shades on his forehead, a Shirt and Tie, with the tie carelessly undone, and a scuffed pair of Black Trainers. The female had on a pair of Black Arrowbands, a Black Pipe Tee, and a pair of Plum Casuals. The man had one eye closed in a wink and was holding the woman's tentacle hairs in a ponytail smiling. The woman seemed to be in the middle of rolling her eyes, though there was a small smile on her face. The young squids on the other hand were wearing plain tees and shorts, one with a pair of headphones around his neck and the other a small cap.

Splin smiled sadly, before zooming out and closing the picture. Laying motionless staring at the ceiling, he rubbed his head and sighed. _"I'm gonna have to fix that hole we made sooner or later,"_ Splin thought, before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

"Hey wait, don't go to sleep yet!" Sharq shook his shoulders lightly.

Splin's eyes slowly opened. Groaning, he turned over to Sharq and asked, "What is it now?"

"We still haven't eaten yet!" Sharq complained, holding his belly. "I'm not going to sleep on an empty stomach, you know! What if I starve to death in my sleep?!"

"Just five seconds ago you moped over mom and dad, and suddenly you want a snack?" Splin blinked with a frown as he adjusted his headphones, "What about the landfill of chips you have on your bed?"

His older brother sighed. "I ate them all."

He pointed at several bags of chips. As he did so, the doors to the house cracked open and a gust of wind blew in. The bags rustled and turned on their sides. Empty.

Splin merely stared at him with a deadpan expression. Suddenly, a rumbling noise; emanating from within both of them. Splin sighed and said, "Alright, alright. For your sake and my sleep, I'll go see what we have in the fridge." Splin walked over to the kitchen, and opened up the fridge.

Of course, if you've guessed their luck by now, you should know what's in there.

"Oh come on! We just got home too!" Splin yelled in exasperation as he leaned on the side of the refrigerator. "There's nothing in here to eat!"

Figured as much.

"WHAT?!" Sharq cried out, and ran straight to the kitchen, hopping over the counters, and looking inside. Sure enough, the fridge was mostly empty save for some ice and drinks.

"Why me!" Sharq exclaimed, falling to his knees. "Okay, we gotta get more food now, I'm starting to get really hungry as well." Splin said, starting out the door before the television chimed in again.

"Due to the events in the plaza today, all establishments around the area have been closed in evacuated. We apologize for any inconvenience."

Upon hearing this, Splin raced out the door. Sure enough, lights around Inkopolis were shutting down, restaurants and grocery stores among them. Suddenly he did not think that the unrealistic broadcast was so unrealistic. Although later he would have doubted that one event in the plaza would cause the entire city to shut down, he fell to his knees and groaned.

"...And when Splin thought it couldn't get any worse, Cod came down from the sky and crushed him with a mighty fish slap. Ugh..." Splin fell face first on the hill's grass, moaning in pain, pain of the tired kind.

Sharq walked out the house, and stood by Splin, before asking, "Room for one more?"

Splin mumbled, "Uh-huh," before Sharq fell backwards, clutching his stomach.

"Gah…" The two Inklings remained there, before Splin rose, a smile present. Splin lightly grasped Sharq's tentacles and pulled him up, pointing to a tree, with two huge apples on the top, almost glowing red. Sharq's eyes lit up, and he immediately rushed for the tree. Once he got there, he took aim at the delectable fruits using his .96 Gal, before Splin tackled him, yelling "NO!" as he went.

Splin sat up and stared down at Sharq as he sat above him with a glare. "Bro, you SURE wanna shoot our last chance of food for the night out of our reach? The force of that gun could probably knock them down the hill, and we would never see them again!"

Embarrassed, Sharq put away his weapon before asking, "How will we get the fruits then?"

Splin pointed upwards with a confident smirk. "Easy, we'll just super jump on top of it!"

That worked so well the last couple times.

"I agree with the voice this time Splin…" Sharq said, rubbing his forehead.

Frustrated, Splin pointed at his brother and shouted, "Well what do you suggest, I'm running low on fuel here!"

Climb the tree, get the apples. Simple.

"..." Splin shook his head, then turned to Sharq.

"Don't worry, I can handle this." Sharq then began to ascend the tree, grabbing at branches and leaves, before he finally reached the top.

"Alright!" Splin shouted to him, "Now just grab the apples and we'll be set, Sharq!" Nodding, Sharq reached for the apples, until he heard a crunching noise underneath his feet. "Gah!"

Sharq's footing gave way as the branch he stood on cracked under his shoes. He was now hung onto the tree with the apples still attached. Thinking fast, Splin ran back into the house and grabbed a Forge Splattershot Pro. Splin shot at the ground, quickly coating the grass in a dark blue. "Alright, grab the apples and jump down, I gotcha!" Sharq gave the apples a final tug, before he and the fruits were sent falling to the ground, and slammed into the ink puddle, splashing ink everywhere.

"OOF."

"You okay?!"

"Better than okay…" Sharq said, crunching an apple in his mouth.

"I feel pretty good! Here Splin, try this one!" Sharq said, tossing the other apple to his brother. Splin caught it, and took a bite. "...Man, these apples ARE pretty good. We're definitely not going hungry tonight!" Splin grabbed Sharq's hand and pulled him up, both of them cringing as a result of a headache.

"Let's hit the hay, I'm not willing to stand around for more bad things to happen to us tonight." Splin mumbled tiredly. They both walked back up to their home, leaning on each other for support.

But what they didn't realize-

"Please no!" They shouted at the same time.

Heh, just kidding! Don't worry, go take a load off. Besides, you'll need the energy for tomorrow.

Groaning quietly, they continued up the hill, upon reaching the house they pushed the doors open, and slammed them behind them. Flopping under the sheets in squid form, pushing their junk off their bed and turning off the lamp, they shut their eyes, anticipating sleep.

Sweet dreams, by the way.

Both brothers sighed. Sharq smiled and Splin frowned before falling into a deep slumber, unaware of the obstacles they'd face the next day.

But then, Splin realized something.

"WE DON'T TAKE FALL DAMAGE!"

Lights in Inkopolis lit up in the background of the hills as Splin's scream echoed throughout the night.

* * *

AN: I wanted to make a reference to other Splatoon fanfictions, but I didn't know if I could do so without offending the other writers. So I decided to not mention any of the names and blur out the official details on whether or not they were in the same universe or if Splin and Sharq's T.V. got more reception than they bargained for. Love those guys' stories, by the way, if I get word that they think my reference was awful, I'll be sure to censor it out and replace it or something. Anyway, as always, any criticism, or death threats from other writers for this chapter at least, is appreciated, and thank you to those who are following along with my story of the two brothers. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you all next time on the next exciting (maybe) episode of the Bate Brothers' Adventures!


	6. The Brothers Break Reality

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **We're Just Gonna Ignore That?**

The first light of morning shone over the hill, and soon blossomed into the sun. It was now morning, and the Inklings were slowly waking up. We now find our "heroes" groggily starting to awake, still sore from the mishaps the night before. Splin rose, eyes still mostly shut, and walked over to the kitchen counters. Propping himself up, he reached for the faucet handles, hoping to douse himself to wake him up.

"AAUGH!" He yelled, falling down. Eyes now wide open, Splin picks up a nearby towel and wipes his face. Walking back towards the faucet, he turns the knobs, which prompts water to flow out of the faucet into the sink. Splin wipes his eyes, before he turns off the flow, and turns it on again. Just like before, water simply flowed through the faucet. Reaching out at the water, he immediately recoils in pain at the sudden freezing temperature, like daggers running down his arms. Deciding it was enough, he turned off the faucet and headed back to the beds, where Sharq was still dozing off. As soon as he got there, he started to shake Sharq lightly. "Come on, Sharq. We got a big day today." Getting no response, he sighed and walked over to the dresser, pounding his fist on an alarm clock.

BWOOOOOOOOO!

"WHAT THE-"

"YAAAH!"

The noise the alarm clock made was unexpectedly loud, and sounded more akin to the air horn the two were introduced to earlier. Startled, both brothers reached for their weapons. Splin, grabbing an Inkbrush Nouveau, started to swipe at the clock, whereas Sharq picked up his now Strange Krak-On Roller and slammed it on the clock. Despite the punishment dealt, the clock now chimed quietly, and went back to counting the seconds. Freaked out, the brothers both stared at the clock, before slowly backing up. The roll-odometer on Sharq's Roller went up a notch, signifying his small triumph over the evil alarm clock.

"I don't remember it doing that before!" Sharq said.

"And I don't remember the sink being an ice machine!" Splin added.

"What happened to the sink?" Sharq asked.

"The water that came out was freezing cold!" Splin said, "I dunno why, but instead of the safe stuff we normally get to use, we get pain!"

"Wait… The alarm clock acting up, the sink being messed up, this is probably a dream, right?" Sharq asked, looking around the house for any more oddities.

"Maybe… Just to be safe, we both pinch each other, make sure we're not in some weird dreamland." Splin stated, and walked over to Sharq.

"I gotcha covered!" Sharq said, before aiming a Blaster at Splin.

"WAIT-" Was all Splin could say, before he was knocked back by the blast. Launched outside by the shot, he rolled onto the grass before finally coming to a stop.

"Well, I guess that solves that!" Sharq said happily.

"...Uuh. ...Alright, I'm not dreaming. But how do we know, YOU aren't Sharq?"

"Huh?" Sharq scratched his head.

"For all I know," Splin began, "Is that I could just be a sentient part of your dream, who felt the blast. Now we gotta test you." Splin reached back, and grabbed a Splat Bomb. "Catch." He said, throwing it to Sharq.

"Alright! BLARGH!" The bomb exploded in Sharq's face. Blinking, he began to shake off the ink.

"Whew, I'm good." Sharq stated.

"Well that solves that," Splin said, before tilting his head and ears.

"What is it?"

"...Aren't we missing something, or should I say, **someone?** " Splin asked, looking around with his ears twitching, listening to any possible noise. The only noise he could hear were the morning roosters, crowing at the sky. "No chuckling, criticism of our choices, or anything?"

"...You're right, where's the voice?" Sharq said, scampering around. "Voice? Where are you?" Lifting up a rock, he found a bunch of pill bugs just chilling underneath. "You guys seen him?" The pill bugs quickly rolled up into balls. "Thanks anyways." Sharq said, putting the rock down.

"Great, the one person who could help us with all this, and he's nowhere in sight." Splin said, before putting his chin to his head. "Actually, he wasn't visible to begin with… Well, we're just gonna have to go into town and figure this out. Sharq, get your things, we're Super Jumping again."

Sharq patted his hat, before switching to Squid form. "Cool, but we better get to eat over there, I'm still kinda hungry." Splin adjusted his headphones to fit on his head, and plugged them into his phone, tapping on the music tracks.

"What're you listening to now?" Sharq asked. Splin walked over to him, took his headphones off, and put them nears Sharq's… Ears? Sharq listened for a moment, before nodding. Putting his headphones on and turning into a squid, Splin and Sharq Super-Jumped towards Inkopolis, whistling through the sky.

* * *

Inkopolis Plaza was a wreck. The pavement was cracked, the Booyah Base's windows were shattered, and overall the entire area looked like an earthquake hit. Despite the damage, multiple Inklings were amongst the wreckage, walking and talking about the cause of this destruction. Splin and Sharq landed in an alleyway this time, still landing with a thud. Dazed, the two shake their heads and stand up. Sharq whistled, looking at the cracks and bruises in the earth.

"Yeesh. That news story we saw the other day wasn't kidding. What happened here?" Sharq wondered aloud. Spotting an Inkling girl walking, he shouted and waved, "Hey! Do YOU know what happened happened here?" Getting her attention, she turned in his direction. What Sharq saw next had him scream. The Inkling girl had no face, it was blank. Multiple flashes of eyes and a mouth kept appearing, but disappeared almost as soon as they had been shown. Expecting her to screech at him in a demonic language, he ducked behind Splin in squid form. Confused, Splin turned in the girl's direction, and backed up, eyes wide.

"Whoa." He said, staring at the girl.

The girl tilted her head, before asking in a normal, calm voice, "Are you guys okay?"

Looking at each other, the brothers looked back and nodded at the same time. The Inkling girl then said, "Well, to answer your question, there was some sort of fight here. A lot of people got hurt, but multiple heroes came and saved us." She smiled, or at least the flashing mouth did, before saying, "I wish I could've been there! Um, and not get hurt of course. I could've taken picture or even meet the famous heroes themselves! Oh well, see you later!" She said, before walking away, and disappearing from sight. Rubbing their eyes, the brothers ran in the direction she walked, but sure enough, there was no one there.

"I don't think we did a good job of checking if we were awake." Sharq pinched Splin for good measure.

"Ow." Splin pinched Sharq in response.

"Yow!" Sharq exclaimed. Shaking his head wildly, he began to panic. "S-Splin, I'm freaking out, man."

Splin pinched his nose and closed his eyes in thought. "We really should have cleaned those apples. This could all just be some weird illusion."

Snapping his fingers, Sharq said, "So THAT'S why we couldn't hear the voice! This must all be some apple-based illusion!"

Splin nodded, "That's just a hypothesis really. We can't be too sure."

"Well, maybe if we get a snack and maybe some water, we can sort this out." Sharq suggested.

Splin and Sharq walked away, before immediately tripping on something.

"Agh! Nngh… What did we trip on…?" Inspecting the ground, they spotted a jittering and flashing chunk of concrete. "Uh… Splin…?" The concrete began shaking extremely quickly. "...SHARQ, HIT THE DECK!"

Splin pulled his brother behind a bench, before the concrete exploded, sending tiny bits of glowing and shaking particles everywhere.

"Okay, we really need to get to the bottom of this! I'm not standing around, waiting to get blown up!" Sharq yelled, before the bench they had gotten behind started shaking. They ditched the bench, and it too exploded into bits and pieces. Running away from the plaza, the brothers, looking behind them, could see the Inkopolis Tower itself begin to collapse.

Spl… Sh...r!

"Did you hear that?" Sharq said, beaming. "It's the voice!" He exclaimed, narrowly dodging a stop sign falling down like an axe.

...ou t… Ge… ...tta there!

"What?!" Splin yelled, more and more objects dematerializing in their wake.

Get outta there!

"Why, what's happening?! Is this some sort of huge dream or something?!" Sharq cried out, running past a group of Inklings, who began to fade away.

There's no time to explain! You guys need to leave this place, now!

Frantically looking around, all they could see were paths and buildings flashing out of sight. Inklings began to panic, before they were erased from existence or disassembled into tiny pixels. At the center of it all was a swirling vortex, blue with spirals, seemingly unaffected by the crumbling world.

"...We have to jump through that?" Splin asked.

I'm afraid so. The world's quick deconstruction is a result of you being here, illegally!

"...Huh?" Sharq tilted his head in confusion. "Why? What'd we do?"

It's more of a story reference issue.

The earth began to break away at the two Inkling's feet, threatening to swallow the two whole. They nodded, before starting for the portal. However, because everyone wasted time talking about Splatoon Shared Universe references, the floor began to give away, leaving three solitary raised platforms, Splin and Sharq at the one farthest from the portal.

"Dude, you still got your Strange Krak-On Roller with you?" Splin asked.

"WHO KEEPS SAYING THAT?! If you're a ghost, come out so I can plant a bullet through your face, you figjam!" A voice rang out.

Don't worry about that, Stealth Sniper is just salty. Get over those platforms and jump towards the portal, its pull will do the rest!

Nodding, slightly uncertain, Splin continues. "If you do, douse the platforms with ink, we can jump from rock to rock until we reach the portal!"

Sharq took out his Strange Krak-On Roller…

"GAAAAAHH!"

...And began to fling ink at the rock platforms. The second platform was covered, the range of the Roller weapon not enough to reach the farthest platform. Both of them jumped in squid form at the platform, leaving the previous one they were on to crumble behind them. The world starting to immediately disappear, the buildings and surroundings fading. Covering the next step in ink, they jumped to that one next, the previous platform going the way of its concrete brethren. The last thing between the portal and the two was a large gap, nothing beneath but gray darkness. However, the brothers noticed that beneath them, pebbles and pixels were falling off.

"Let's get outta here!" Sharq yelled, the noise of the vortex increasing to a loud whooshing.

The two jumped, crumbled bits of the platform falling into the void, before they were sucked into the portal… The world behind them, despite what happened, immediately flashed back to normal. All people in the dying Inkopolis previously freaking out, now returned with little to no trauma, albeit the plaza was still wrecked. An Inkling girl, with a normal face, ran around, looking around. "...I hope those guys are okay!" She said, before running towards the plaza.

* * *

Splin rose out of his bed, breathing heavily. He turned to Sharq, who was face down on his bed, and shook him. "Sharq?! Are you alright?!" He asked, shaking him more. Groaning, Sharq rolled over to face Splin. "Yeah… What about you?" He asked. Splin hugged his brother quickly, before holding him by the shoulders. "I'm glad we're safe, but what the heck happened over there?! Was it just some sort of dream?! Are we even real?!" Splin snapped in the direction of the kitchen, running to the sink.

"Splin, calm down!" Sharq yelled after him.

"Not until I test something first!" Jumping over the counter, Splin landed by the sink. He reached for the faucet knobs and turned them, water pouring out. Without hesitation, he shoved his hands underneath, breathing a sigh of relief when the water trickled down his skin, stinging slightly but overall not something that would feel like knives running down his arm. Walking back towards the beds and drawer, he looked at the alarm clock. Splin glanced over at his brother, who in turn gave him a thumbs-up and a nervous smile, before Splin triggered the alarm.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Collapsing on his bed, Splin stared at the ceiling for a while, Sharq slamming the alarm clock with his Krak-On roller, getting another point for his roll-odometer.

"What happened just now?" Splin asked. He reached for the T.V. remote, sat up, and clicked on the T.V.

A reporter came on screen immediately, the same Inkling man who reported from yesterday. Clearing his throat, he addressed his viewers, before quickly going into the news. "In other news, Callie and Marie are the hot topic of the town, as always."

Staring at the screen, Splin and Sharq waited for him to mention some sort of huge fight, death occurrence, or anything else news breaking. Instead, the reporter merely smiled, saying, "Our two superstars, despite one getting severely burnt by the other on Saturday, are back in business, putting their fight behind them. As a reporter, it warms my heart to see two great celebrities still going strong and getting along despite their disputes. I'm Rus Heba, thank you all for watching Testudinata Today." He said, finishing his report.

"Okay, we're definitely back. Wonder what happened?" Splin closed his eyes and pondered.

Well, you know when I said something about a "dimensional bridge"?

"Yeah…?" Splin asked.

You two actually got stuck in a different dimension. Your presence in that particular universe was unwarranted, and therefore, to get rid of you, the world began to collapse.

"Uh." Splin looked down.

Little hard to comprehend?

"Not really."

"Kinda."

Sharq stared at Splin, who answered, "If we have fish that can generate volts of electricity and guns that shoot ink that we can swim in and kill with…" Splin stood up. "It's not too farfetched that a different series of worlds are out there."

Sharq, confused, asked, "Well how did we end up there in the first place? Did we roll over something while we slept or…?"

Splin just deadpanned at Sharq. "Pretty sure we would notice that happen before."

Actually, that's not too far off. Splin, look under the sheets of your bed.

Curious, Splin lifted the bed covers, and a flashing cube floated out. Not willing to get blown up, the two hid underneath their beds in squid form. Nothing happened for a while. The two peeked out, before Splin became a kid now and investigated the cube. Hovering gently, the cube didn't seem to do anything besides switch colors slowly and add a few flat squares to itself like a screen display. Splin laid back on his bed, hands by his side, and simply said:

"Interesting."

Sharq came out of his tiny shelter, hopping on top of his bed, staring at the cube. "What is that?" He asked, walking around and below it, "oohing" and "aahing" at the tiny pixels that appeared on its exterior.

It's kinda like a teleporter you can fold up into a tiny box, a touch screen.

"What the…? Y'all hear that voice?" Someone said with a confused tone.

"That's what I've been sayin'!" The voice that rang out from before said. "I thought I was going insane from too many hours sittin' at my post!"

Ahem, one second. (Hey guys go to sleep, you're not gonna figure it out yelling. After all, what happens if Heavy wakes up?)

A heavy silence followed.

(Thanks guys.)

"Aw, never mind the bloody voices, I'll just get to the van. G'night, Engie."

"Alrighty, just gotta clean up this here wrench for tomorrow, 'night Sniper."

"Um." Sharq spoke up, "What just happened there?"

Nothing to worry about, just me spouting more references. You two should also get some sleep.

Splin looked outside the window. It was still dark, crickets were chirping. Certainly a difference from the daylight experienced in the other universe. Splin looked back at Sharq, who had already fallen asleep, snoring lightly. He sat in bed, before taking note of the floating "Tele-Cube", as we'll call it.

Might wanna put that somewhere safe.

Taking the cube, he merely put it in his short's pockets, going underneath the covers, and closing his eyes. The cube's brightness lowered, seemingly to accommodate for its new owners' sleep. The two fell back asleep, waiting for the day to break through the night, at least in their world.

* * *

AN: Before we begin, thanks again to NSPFan for reviewing my story! Sorry if my narrator voice gets confusing. Mostly characters in this story and future ones can only hear it, so don't worry about having me talk to a whole group of different Inklings later in the story. Hopefully. I'll work on making it less blended in with the regular text, and more direct. Other than that, again, another shout-out… Or, you know, text-on-a-screen-out, to the authors behind the "Shared Universe" Splatoon project. This chapter couldn't have been possible without their awesome stories, even if it was just a handful of references. I felt guilty just referencing their stories, so I thought it would be interesting if Splin and Sharq's presence in their world would shatter reality. Again, I'll edit out the chapters if they don't like the references, this is pretty much the last huge reference I'll make unless I get an "okay" from the other authors. That's all, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to finish that Medic contract in TF2 I keep sleeping on, (If I have enough time) see you all later!


	7. The Brothers and The Royal Flush

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **The Royal Flush**

Once again, it was peaceful in Inkopolis Plaza. Nothing changed much, most of the squid kids were blogging on the social media known to all as "Miiverse", drawing fanart, comics, memes, and everything you could possibly think of in the Splatoon hub world. That is, until a certain braggart decided to disturb the peace.

"STEP ASIDE, PLEBS!" Everyone who's eardrums weren't completely shattered by the loud announcement turned to the front of the plaza. The Inkling that shouted was none other than our infamous little troublemaker, Ari Jabin, as well as his squad, Sari, Rit, and Bas at the head of the plaza by the trains. Standing on top of one of the benches, Ari was holding a megaphone, shouting, "My girls and I are just gonna play in one of the Turf Wars, which of you losers are gonna do the honors of giving up to us so we can get cash?!" His female squad joined in with their trademark use of giggling. Of course, no one wants to get shouted at this early in the morning, so most of the Inklings either fled the scene, or fell over from temporary loss of hearing. Great start to a chapter, paramedics already involved.

"Hmm… Think I was a little too good?" Ari scratched his chin.

Sari just shrugged, "Probably just couldn't compete with the best of the best, huh?" The other females simply smiled, and said, "Yeah!" in response.

"All I need," Ari said, "Someone I can style on, show them my coolness factor." He stated, imitating an explosion with his hands. "Someone fresh enough that I can beat, someone weak enough to respect me, someone who'll get me on Inkopolis News! Ah, I can see it now… Even Callie and Marie will want to meet me!" He said chuckling. "A plan that could get me into the history books!" His squad simultaneously struck a pose with him, all saying, "Aw yeah!"

"Now, to make a couple phone calls…"

* * *

Of course, you can't have a chapter in this story without the brothers getting involved. Splin and Sharq were currently flying towards the plaza, messing up the trajectory a little again. This time they landed on a certain street urchin.

"YOW!"

"SHARP!"

Splin and Sharq quickly bounced off of Spyke, who didn't seem to mind two squids falling on him at over 30 mph. (Or over 50 km/h for any readers living elsewhere)

"I gotta set up a landing point or something…" Splin said, rubbing his back.

"What did we land on anyways?" Sharq asked irritated.

"I believe you mean 'who did you land on', love."

The brothers turned around, coming face-to-face with the alleyway urchin. Upon seeing him, the two immediately stepped up, and said their condolences.

"S-Sorry Spyke!" Sharq stated.

"Apologies…" Splin chimed in, looking at the ground.

"It's fine you two. At least you didn't steal away my business, unlike that bloke over there." Spyke pointed at a gathering at the bottom of the tower, a certain Jungle Hat Inkling standing at the highest step. "Boy's been taking all of my business away from me. Can't get any dough to buy more Super Sea Snails, certainly not enough to provide for my clients."

"Hey, it's that guy from earlier." Splin observed. "Hmm. Seems to be extremely pleased with himself." Turning around to ask Sharq what he thought, Sharq was nowhere to be found. Surveying the area, he found Sharq running towards the crowd. Sighing, Splin turned back to Spyke. "I'll see what's going on. Maybe we can help get your business back." That being said, Splin rushed over, calling Sharq's name. Spyke looked over at the crowd, before going back to tapping his finger on the ground.

* * *

"Win prizes and glory! Power and prestige! All your hopes and dreams can come true if you join!" Ari shouted to the crowd gathering around, still burning the ears of innocent civilians. Nevertheless, many Inklings and other sentient sea creatures were patiently listening.

"You mean like a lottery or something?" A sentient lionfish asked, scratching his head.

"Close, but not at all! This is a test of skill, of might, smarts, speed, this is a test of who is the best!" Ari shouted directly towards the lionfish, whose feelers went up in interest. "The challenge is simple, if any of you can beat me and my squadron, as well as 12 other Inklings, you can win gold and glory!" The crowd became excited, chatting and asking if they could join. "The entry fee is simple, just a measly 9000 coins!" This announcement quieted the crowd, all murmuring and checking their stashes. News reporters and cameramen got in the mix, presumably because the news days here, pardon my language, really suck recently.

"We're here live on the scene, where a boy named Ari Jabin seems to be holding some sort of contest!" Pausing, the news reporter immediately stated, "That's all for today. Back to you in the studio, Callie and Marie."

"OH COME ON!" Ari shouted, disrupting more poor Inklings' hearing. "There's gotta be some of you who are willing to fight for fame! How about this, the winner of the challenge will get new gear and a whole lot of cash? We need you people, I need you people! (To fall for this), who's brave enough to take on this feat? Anybody at all?!"

"Hey! Ari, can me and my bro join?!"

Ari turned in the direction of the voice, his smile quickly disappearing. "...Except him. Oh Cod, that's just perfect." Ari said, groaning. "The one scrub who could possibly beat me." "Maybe if we ignore him he'll leave, cous." Sari said, one hand on her hip and the other one under her chin. "Hopefully Sari, I don't want to have to deal with this clown again." Sharq dashed towards the crowd, breaking through, with a sack of gold raised above his head. "I saved up a little, what do you think?" Sharq stopped, panting, raising a whopping 900,000 coins. Ari and Sari stared at each other, before smirking. "Sure… We'll just take this."

"WHAT?! Sharq no you'll bankrupt us!" Splin panted, finally catching up to his brother.

"Too late!" Ari laughed. Suddenly, Rit and Bas swooped down and grabbed the sack of gold. "Thank you, handsome!" They winked at Sharq, smiling back at them. "Ladies and gentlemen, our first challengers!" A cheering began within the crowd, everyone pushing Splin and Sharq to the front of Inkopolis Tower. "These two brave young gentlemen have the guts, (not to mention the money,) to face the ultimate Ari Challenge!" Ari yelled, his female companions faking a swoon.

"Before we start, what do you have in mind?" Splin asked uncertain.

Ari grinned. "Ah! I was just getting to that…"

* * *

"Hmm…" Splin murmured. The two brothers were at the Bluefin Depot, currently at the south spawn point. The only difference is that every single nook and cranny of the map was covered in an orange coating. Splin and Sharq's hair coloring switched to blue for this round, signifying their contrast to the other team. The duo's weapon choices were a Slosher bucket and a Mini Splatling, Sharq attaching another odometer to his weapon, making it a-.

"Strange? Yeah, wonder how I figured that one out professor?" A cocky voice rang out jokingly.

Excuse me, just gonna deal with a certain Boston Boom-Bringer, see you guys on the flip side.

"See ya later voice!" Sharq yelled, smiling and waving at the air.

"Bye," Splin said waving, going back to surveying the area.

"The challenge is simple," Ari shouted from the other side of the area. Luckily, the spawn point's protective barrier stopped his megaphone's absurd volume from blasting out any eardrums. "All you two need to do, is get that little flag…" A flag behind the spawn point with a picture of a Rainmaker on it was flapping in the wind. "...And get it over to our base, or the other side of the map! We're giving you 10 minutes to get over here, if it seems easy, trust me, it won't be." Ari put the megaphone down, sitting at his spawn point, his female squad sitting on the bricks surrounding it.

"Hey guys," Rit started, "What happens if they **do** manage to get over here?"

"Trust me, with the help I got, those two don't stand a single chance!" Ari laughed, his squad looking at each other uncertain, before turning their attention back to the orange-stained battlefield.

"This is new… Hey Sharq, mind tossing a Suction Bomb over there? We should test the waters first..." Splin pointed at the orange tiles ahead of them. Sharq nodded, throwing an explosive cylinder of paint in front of their spawn point. The bomb made a small "whirring" before exploding in a shower of paint. A flash of orange could be seen, before the mess was immediately recovered by twelve other enemy Inklings. "Uh oh. Splin, we're gonna need a really good plan for this one."

Splin took his headphones and placed them on his head, reached into his pocket for his phone, and picked a track. "Guess we're gonna be Playing with Danger today." Sharq looked over, and revved up his Mini Splatling, and nodded, a determined grin present on his face.

A groan could be heard. "Ah crap, you gave em' song references too?" The cocky voice rang out again. "There's only so many dumb references you can make, ya know!"

Hey, sometimes you gotta branch out.

* * *

AN: I'm currently facing a bit of a "delay in productivity", meaning I won't be able to get to the AWESOME MLG RAINMAKER-ESQUE SCENE that I'm sure you've all been waiting for today. Schoolwork, free time, lost items, trying to finish up video game stories, all of the stuff that keeps you from doing anything. Besides me rambling on about my business, thanks again to NSPfan for sticking with my story. Yeah, the TF2 references are really more about me spouting references, but I'm planning a bit of a crossover story later on. Most of the future interactions with the Tele-Cube are gonna be themed adventures or something, with crossover stories in the future going into detail with Splin and Sharq Bate going into other video games. Other than that, I think that's it for now. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I'm just gonna grab a snack, I'll see you next time!


	8. The Brothers (Sharq) Goes Beast Mode!

AN: Before we start, lemme just say, this chapter's "beast mode" phrase is based off of a real life experience, and by real life I mean a group of idiots (including me) decided to make this a thing in a TF2 Jailbreak server I frequent. Just in case you wonder how I came up with something this absurd.

 **The Bate Bros.**

 **I'm Going Beast Mode!**

"Sharq," Splin repeated, "We're gonna need a really clever plan for this one. I count over 12 Inklings already swimming in our spawn, and who knows how many more are allowed to swim in those treacherous orange inks."

As Splin said that, a myriad of orange squids bounced out of the ink, one following the other, making delicate splashes in the orange as they went. Sharq reached his hand out, and the squids reacted pretty poorly to that decision. Dynamo, Carbon, Krak-On, and Regular Rollers came bounding out of the ink, splashing Sharq's poor appendage in goop, splatting him. Respawning as a little squid ghost, Sharq came back into existence, gasping.

"...One little reach, ONE LITTLE REACH OUT." Sharq shook his brother by the shoulders. "IT WAS AWFUL!"

Splin rubbed his temples, stating, "Yeah, I was there."

"Dude, what do we do? Those things are trained to kill!" Sharq said hysterically.

"We, 'things' have names you know." Rising out of the ink, a Carbon Roller Inkling wearing a Sporty Bobble Hat, a Berry Ski Jacket, and a pair of Crazy Arrows, her skin light, and her eyes yellow. "Name's Zip, I'll be your hostess for tonight's activities."

"Uh. Pleased to meet you." Splin reached his hand out to shake her's, but quickly pulled his hand back in when the group of Rollers began assaulting the spawn point. "I take it you aren't willing to shake hands?"

"You got the name of the game Music Man!" A voice emanated from within the ink. A boy Inkling carrying a Krak-On Roller and donning a pair of Retro Specs, a Varsity Jacket, and a pair of Yellow Seahorses, his skin a light brown, and his eyes a bright orange, rose from the ink. "We've been hired to splat you and your buddy there if you take a single step outside! My name's Willie, you and your pal Shady over here don't got a chance!"

"Really?" Taking an experimental jump outside the protection of the spawn point, Splin gets completely REKT by the Rollers. Respawning back as a squid ghost, Splin's eyes blink, before he gets whisked back into the game as an Inkling. "Four we could take on by ourselves. Now, twelve…"

"Oh no, there's way more of us up ahead." Zip smiled. "Now, who's picking up the check?"

Sharq raised his hand slowly. Splin shook his head, prompting Sharq to lower his hand. "The match has hardly started, who knows, we might surprise you."

"YOU TWO HAVE 9 MINUTES LEFT!" Ari shouted, sending the twelve Inklings reeling slightly, Splin and Sharq still safely behind the barrier. That being said, the barrier started to grow less effective, causing the brothers to cringe at the noise.

"Ouch. Wish Loudmouth over there dialed back the volume a little." Willie stated, rubbing his ears.

"Why'd you guys even decide to pay for this challenge? Seems to me like you bit off more than you can chew." Zip asked.

Sharq shuffled behind the flag in squid form, pretending not to be seen. Splin replied, "Well, as dumb as an idea as it was…" Sharq cowered slightly. "I gotta try to earn SOME of Sharq's money back." Splin said confidently.

"...A-Actually, it was half of mine and half of yours." Sharq replied. Splin looked back at his brother and put his fist on his chin in thought. "Alright, now we really gotta try and get some of the money back. Sharq, we're leaving, we could probably make up the loss of money in about a couple day's worth of Turf Wars."

"What?! No way, we- I mean, I payed for it, so we should really try to get to covering ground. I think we can make it through!" Sharq exclaimed excitedly.

"..." Splin sat down, still in thought.

"Aw come on Splin! Even if we did lose,"

"Will lose." Zip said with a smirk.

"...We could do the Turf Wars thing like you said!" Sharq finished. Splin sighed, patting his brother on the back. "Sure. Next thing you'll tell me is that we can fix the hole in the ceiling with toothpaste and sticks." Sharq smiled. "Alright, how about this, at the last second, if we don't make it through, I'll go…" Sharq leaned into Splin's ear. "Beast. Mode." He whispered.

"Oh yeah, Beast Mode. No, I totally get it. You'll try to rush through, hopped up on a ton more energy than normal, and try to take out the entire enemy team, winning us the game, right?" Splin asked. Sharq nodded. "I can't see what could go wrong with that plan." Splin stood up. "Whelp, if we're gonna lose, now's the time I suppose." Adjusting his headphones, Splin turned the volume up a little, before saying, "Alright, let's go." As soon as he said that, all of the Rollers activated their various specials and aimed them at the spawn. "Oh." A crud load of projectiles and Krakens came flying towards the spawn, splatting the two as soon as they stepped out. Needless to say, it'd take them awhile to figure this one out.

* * *

"5 MINUTES LEFT!" Ari shouted. He and the other members of his squad were boredly sitting about, tapping on their phones or playing around with their weapons. Four minutes had already passed, and Splin and Sharq were just barely outside of the spawn. They managed to take the uppermost platforms, but the staircase leading down to the lower areas were occupied by orange Blasters and Splattershots, as well as the aforementioned Rollers. Any hype that the crowd watching had slowly diminished, children and parents left, news reporters went to find better news, and only a few diehard bystanders who were either really interested or had nothing else to do stayed.

"This isn't working. We gotta spice things up a little before my chance of fame goes awry!" Ari snapped his fingers. "I thought these scrubs were good at the game, like me! Guess that was just luck. They're really gonna have to bring it back if they want to get their gold!"

Looking up from her cell phone, Sari noticed something interesting. "You mean like that?"

* * *

Splin and Sharq were, no lie, getting completely decimated. Even though they kept splashing bucket loads after bucket loads of ink, and rapid firing 10,000 ink cartridges per minute, the oranges bounced back, dousing the ground and the brothers in deadly orange paint. You know, maybe if I had given them some sort of cool armor or something they wouldn't be dying every two seconds.

"BWAAAGH!"

Yeah, kinda like that.

Sharq respawned for like the 50th time this round. All Splin and Sharq had managed to do was bring the flag a couple steps farther, before the ground below them was stained with orange, and they had to repeat the process multiple times over. The flag reflected the battlefield, doused in orange and a couple stains of blue, a telltale sign of their efforts. They've pushed the Rollers out of the walkspace a few steps outside, but despite splatting eight of them, (and getting rolled over at least thrice over) they just kept coming back, with Blasters, Bamboozlers, and Burst Bombs, oh my!

You can tell I'm really tired right now.

"How do you think we feel?!" Splin cried out, as he was hit by a Kraken, sending him back to square one.

Zip yawned. "We've been at this for so long, I think it's time for you guys to give up." Splatting her, the brothers yelled, "Never!", until they were nuked by at least a couple Inkstrikes.

"Two minutes remaining!" Ari yelled.

Splin shook the ink off after he respawned, turning towards his brother, clutching the flag.

"Okay, Sharq, you got your Inkzooka ready?" Splin asked, clutching the Splatoon Wii U Gamepad. I mean, seriously. Those things are dead giveaways to what they're trying to reference, what other controller pad with a touch screen was that ridiculously big?

Sharq stared at the sky, still unaware of the fourth-wall's leniency towards the outside allusions. Splin waved his hand in front of Sharq's face. "There's almost no time left, we can't spend all day talking to the voice again!"

Sharq shook his head and took out his Inkzooka apologizing, "Whoops, sorry man. You got the Inkstrike missile?"

"Back up, they're planning something!" Zip yelled to the others orange Inklings. Willie nodded, and prepared his roller.

Splin patted his back, a missile appearing on his ink tank. "Alright, plant the flag on the Inkstrike, it's now or never." Sharq picked up the Rainmaker flag, and shoved it into the Inkstrike missile. They held it down, Sharq standing on the rocket, aiming his Inkzooka towards the front. "It's all or nothing!" Splin yelled, tapping the launch button. The rocket started off slowly, the Bates trying to keep the enemies at bay while the warhead charged. As soon as a Roller came near them, they immediately blasted them away. Staring worryingly at the missile, they wondered if the thing was fueled enough or if they were weighing it down. Their patience paid off, and the missile launched towards the enemy base, Splin and Sharq holding on for dear life. The enemy Inklings noticed, and quickly moved to retaliate. Sharq, however, was laughing hysterically, shouting, "I'M GOING BEAST MOOOOOODE!"

"One minute left!" Ari yelled. Some of the audience returned, curious as to how this trainwreck would end. What they didn't expect was two blue haired (Tentacled in this case?) Inklings riding on the back of a Inkstrike, slamming into the bottom of the Depot, where they were splatted by the ground.

But Inklings can't take fall damage so Splin and Sharq actually survived.

The crowd began watching with bated breath. (Pun not intended, well maybe) Despite making it to the foot of the enemy base, the brothers were still having trouble fending other Inklings off. It seemed as though the less skilled were placed in defensive positions, but the two of them still had trouble breaking through the wall of orange in front of them. The clock was down to measly 20 seconds left, and all they had managed to do was breach through the main spawn area down to the center paths. Currently, Sharq and Splin were blasting down other Inkling opponents, slowly advancing towards the enemy base. Orange Inklings began to charge towards the two, Sharq blasting them away with his Inkzooka.

"I think this is it Splin!" Sharq said, gunning down two Sploosh-o-matics, getting dangerously close to the flag. "You gotta admit though, it kinda worked for a second there!" The Splat-odometer on Sharq's Mini-Splating steadily grew in numbers.

"I suppose. We were so close!" Splin admitted, launching Burst Bombs at the Rollers on their flanks. Pausing, he tossed the Slosher in the air, spilling blue ink around the perimeter.

"10 seconds!" Ari exclaimed. The crowd began cheering in excitement.

"Hey," Splin said to Sharq, who turned around. "Wanna grab a bite at The Halibut when we're beaten?" Sharq chuckled, "If you're buying dude."

The brothers were almost to the foot of the wall leading up to the enemy's base, before two Rollers, identified as Zip and Willie by their attire, cut them off, just about to splat them, when the timer ran out and the whistles blew.

"Time's up! Let's see how close our challengers were…?" Ari said. Judd, who was apparently amongst the crowd, began to climb up to the Bluefin Depot through the bottom of the screen as usual, and held up a flag. "The Orange Team wins by a knockout." Judd said, before walking away, probably back to his bed.

"Whoo-hoo!" The entire Orange team celebrated, performing classic winning team poses, tossing the Roller players in the air, laughing and congratulating one another, and walking up the the north spawn point to earn their cash.

Splin simply shrugged on the losing team, Sharq shaking his head smiling.

"Alright Sharq, let's get going, I'm not look for apples like last night." Exhausted, Splin and Sharq turned into squids, and prepared to Super Jump to Inkopolis, until they were greeted by the two leaders of the Orange Team.

"So that's what Ari meant by, 'Weird strategy'!" Willie whistled. "You two were pretty close, good game my friends, good game!" Willie said, patting the two on the shoulders.

"Thanks man! You were pretty good too!" Sharq said, a huge grin on his face.

Zip raised her hand out for a handshake. Reluctantly, Splin reached out, grabbed her hand, and shook it, before taking a step back. "Relax man, I'm not gonna gun you down like last time. Not gonna lie, that last plan was pretty good, it probably could have worked. Anyways, I got my pay, and you guys… Uh, you tried? "

Splin smiled. "Thanks Zip."

"Hey, we never got your name, Music Man and Shadey, don't leave us in the dark!" Willie pouted slightly.

"Uh, name's Splin Bate."

"People call me Sharq, Sharq Bate!"

A snickering could be heard, and lo and behold, there was Ari, Sari, Rit and Bas, in the flesh, Ari looking pleased with himself. "Well, Splin and Sharq, thanks for the free gold! Guess that match you won against us the other day was a fluke!" The females giggled slightly, before striking another awesome pose. "Yeah!"

"You're welcome, good game." Splin stated simply. "Come on Sharq, we got a couple of burgers with our names on them!"

"Alright!" Sharq stretched his arms in the air. "I'm starving!" Sharq reached his hand out to Ari for a handshake.

This got Ari to stop smirking. "What?! You just lost 900,000 coins, how could you POSSIBLY walk away from that?!" Ari pushed Sharq's hand down, looking him straight in the eyes.

Sharq rubbed the back of his head, saying, "Well, at least it goes to the players who participated, right?" Ari looked around. The Orange Team was currently staring straight at him, eyeing the bag of gold he had. He backed up, getting closer and closer to the edge of the map.

"...You'll never take me alive!" Ari attempted to run, but was tripped up by Zip's leg. All of the Orange Team piled on him, trying to take the gold, coins flying and all. Sari peered at Splin and Sharq, mouthing, "Good game!", before she, Rit, and Bas went to assist their leader.

Splin and Sharq watched the carnage, before nodding, Super Jumping away towards Inkopolis, news reporters finishing their stories, families going back home, and Ari getting mobbed by the Inklings in orange, coins glimmering in the dusky air.

* * *

Splin and Sharq landed on the dog statue on top of Booyah Base, carefully rolling off as they landed on it. Despite doing this, they rolled right off, yelping and bouncing onto the sidewalk.

That's why we tech those.

"That wouldn't have worked in this situation!" Splin cried out.

"Oww…" Sharq groaned.

"psst! Hey, you two." The two brothers looked at the alleyway between the Squid Sisters Studio and the Battle Dojo. Oddly, it was bustling with activity. The brothers walked over, and pushed through a crowd of excited Inklings. Spyke was tapping his finger on the ground as usual, a rare smile on his face, surrounded by Super Sea Snails. "Appreciate it, mate. Been up to my head in these things since your close defeat."

Sharq looked away, embarrassed. Splin nodded.

"I don't normally do this, but I'd like you two to take one of these." Spyke tossed a Super Sea Snail at Sharq, he fumbled around with it before finally grasping it in his hands. Sharq's face lit up. "Cool, we have our own pet now!" Spyke waved them off. "Cheers, love." Splin and Sharq left, leaving Spyke to get showered in coins and Super Sea Snails by the excited crowd.

So, how's your day been?

Splin's head drooped. "You were there, you should know that we're beat."

Sharq yawned, his stomach protesting as well. "I just wanna get some food, maybe a little for this guy right here!" The Super Sea Snail under Sharq's arm shaked a little, its face lighting up.

What about your Splat-odometer?

Sharq took out his Mini-Splatling, the Splat-odometer still perched on the top. Reading the numbers, Sharq said, "I got ten splats!"

You know what THAT means!

A chorus of groans could be heard. "Mmph mmm mmph mmm?" A muffled voice could be heard saying(?).

You know it Pyro! Sharq's Strange Mini Splatling leveled up to Unremarkable!

The chorus of groans switched to sighing, before cheering and noisemakers could be heard in the background. "You're one step closer to manhood, privates!" A disciplined voice shouted. The crowd in another universe shuffled away, presumably to push a bomb cart off a hill or something.

"Well, that's great and all," Splin said, "But I'm just gonna get something to eat." Splin said, walking away from the plaza. Walking for a couple moments, soaking in the buildings and the slow caress of the darkness of dusk, the two stopped in their tracks. Spotting The Halibut burger joint up ahead, Splin motioned for Sharq to follow, and they ran towards the doors. Looking ahead, they noticed something that made their eyes widen and water, respectively. An employee was locking up for the night! They picked up the speed, running faster and faster towards their only way to get food. Upon reaching the main entrance, they leapt through the doors in squid form, crashing into a table, startling the employee. The Super Sea Snail landed on the table unharmed, a little dizzy.

She stared at the two brothers, who got up slowly. "May we get something to go please?" Splin smiled, rubbing the back of his neck. Sharq looked at her hopefully. She sighed, before unlocking the doors and walking up to the brothers, a notepad and pencil in her hand. "What'll you be having?"

* * *

AN Part 2: This is the longest chapter yet! I don't really think I did a very good job of detailing any huge fight scenes, so sorry if I let the hype out of the story. To clarify the Beast Mode, whenever there was one BLU left or the time was running out of that Jailbreak server, the last BLU or REDs would attempt to take out the other team, against all odds. Of course, half of the time, it doesn't go as well, usually getting close to victory, before something pops up and stops them from achieving true MLG status. Thanks once more to Anon360 and NSPFan for reviewing, as well as anyone following, favoriting, or simply viewing my story right now! Also, I was gonna have them do some dumb Gary Stu bullshrimp, (pls don't sue me for language) but of course a lot have people have already pulled it off before. So I opted for a slightly more, "realistic" course of actions. So as always, I hope you enjoyed this, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I need to get me an Olimar amiibo before they run out! See you next time!


	9. The Brothers Create a Killer Robot

AN I: The Phantom Crentist: Forgive my slacking off. There's been quite a lot of work I've been needing to do, so sorry for keeping you waiting. That being said, this chapter is a result of writer's block, so prepare yourselves for possible filler content.

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Minor Calibrations**

Splin and Sharq were cozily sitting on top of their respective beds. The Super Sea Snail that Spyke gave them was resting on the kitchen counters across from them on a plush little bed with a blank name slate on it. Sharq was being a boss at Call of Sploosh: Advanced Turf War or some other fake video game name that I can't come up with right now, kicking tails and taking names, while Splin was inspecting the Tele-Cube. Splin tapped one of the sides of the cube, prompting it to hover and spin around before quickly settling back down into the palms of Splin's hands.

"Huh. What does this do besides teleport us to dimensions that would kill us? I've had it for two days now, and we still don't fully understand what makes this thing 'tick'." Splin gave the cube another experimental press with the palm of his hand, suddenly making the cube become as bouncy as rubber. He dropped it on the floor, making it bounce up towards the ceiling. Splin grabbed it as it came down, reverting it to its normal beeping form.

"Maybe we can use it for other stuff too!" Sharq said, still focused on the game. That is, until an Inknade was dropped in front of Sharq's in-game soldier, splatting his character. Sharq frustratedly dropped his Ink-Box One gaming controller, and shut off the console. (I could've made a Wii U joke but I thought it made more sense like this. Also 'cuz console equality.)

Splin placed the Tele-Cube by the alarm clock, which began to blare beeps just because of the mere placement of an object by it. Splin and Sharq covered their ears, still slightly sore from the screeching orders Ari gave yesterday. The Tele-Cube flashed, before the side of it facing the alarm clock twisted into a speaker that blasted the alarm clock away similar to a Killer Wail.

"Hmm…" Splin said, two fingers resting sideways on his chin. "This thing seems to respond to accomodate for its environment surrounding it. So if that's the case…" Splin ran over to the sink in the kitchen, tossed the cube in it, and began to douse it in water. The Tele-Cube's shape molded to push the water off of itself, slanting the edges downwards.

Be careful with that thing.

"Oh hey voice!" Sharq piped up.

Splin looked up at the ceiling. "Hello voice. I was just testing out the abilities of the Tele-Cube. This thing seems capable of a lot of stuff."

Ah. Well, you're very observative. This little block can actually do whatever you want it to do. For instance, if you wanted it to defend you from something…

The Tele-Cube lit up, and began to shine light by the beds. The light began to materialize, until a small turret gun with a flashing light appeared, the gun part rotating back and forth with a single beep every time. Splin's eyebrows raised in fascination at the creation.

In other words, it's the cube of convenience.

Suddenly, the Tele-Cube began to vibrate, before the mini turret exploded, leaving nothing behind. The cube's light emanating from itself dimmed as well.

"What happened?" Sharq asked.

I wouldn't just give you something that could completely destroy a universe without balancing it out first.

"Balancing?" Splin asked, looking at the cube.

Yep. Think of it this way, it's like a portable gaming console like the Splatendo DS. (Heh.) It has a lot of potential and power, but it still needs room to charge.

"So if I tried to use the same effect again…" Splin wondered, thinking of the mini turret, he shook the cube. A red line diagonally crossed throughout the cube.

See? Needs room to charge.

"Huh. Well thanks voice."

No problem. Just gonna see how the fourth wall is doing. Goodbye.

"See ya later voice!" Sharq shouted. Sharq peered over the cube, still in wonder at the things it could do. "You wanna try it out later?"

Splin stared at the cube, then back at Sharq saying, "Sharq, we are very well holding an object that can be used to raze cities, transport us across the universe, and you're suggesting we use it for fun?"

"That's not exactly what I meant, I mean we co away from the city of Inkopolis, and see what else it can do where it won't hurt anyone." Sharq responded. "Right? After all, if we don't know how it works, then we might destroy Inkopolis. Again."

Splin picked up the cube, staring at it for some time. After a few minutes, he stared up at Sharq and said, "Alright. Let's get to testing."

* * *

Splin and Sharq were now in a secluded lower area of the hills they call home, a flat range with multiple paths and a few trees dotting the hills. They brought the Tele-Cube with them, setting it in the middle of the small meadow. Splin was holding a checklist on a clipboard and Sharq was sitting by the Tele-Cube.

"Alright, so first things first. This block is called a 'Tele-Cube', so obviously it should be able to teleport us, right? Sharq, think of somewhere in these hills you'd like to transport yourself to." Splin instructed.

"Alright!" Sharq walked up to the cube, eyes shut in thought, before they snapped open, and Sharq was whisked away in a cloud of bluish smoke. Splin waited a while, before Sharq came sliding down the mountain as a squid.

"Did it work?" Splin asked.

Sharq reverted to humanoid form raising the pet Super Sea Snail and a bag of fries leftover from yesterday. "Yep!"

"Alright, that's down…" Splin checked off a Teleportation box.

"I wonder…" Sharq set down the Super Sea Snail and fries down, and tapped the cube. The cube began to vibrate slightly, before it burst into flames.

"WHOA!"

"Oh no!"

Splin took out his Forge Splattershot Pro and Sharq took out his Blaster, odometer included, and blasted the cube with ink. This did nothing to quench the flames. A light bulb flashed in Sharq's head, before he leapt onto the cube.

"SHARQ NO!" Splin cried out. However, when landing on top of the flames, Sharq didn't ignite. Worried and confused, Splin walked over and picked Sharq up off the flames. Sharq gave him a smile and a thumbs-up. "What." Splin pressed his hand on the cube, which only felt warmer. He ripped up tufts of grass and set them on the block, they ignited, but only gave off a small amount of warmth. Splin pat the cube twice, the fire disappearing seemingly like magic, the tufts of grass still singed slightly. "Guess it's made like the Turf Wars. No friendly fire…" Putting a hand under his chin, Splin thought of something, before tapping the cube again. This time, a Splattershot Jr. popped out, an orange ink color, before firing a single round at Splin. "Guh!" Splin fell back on the grass.

"Splin!" Sharq ran over to his brother lying in the grass. "You okay?!"

Grunting, Splin sat up. "Y-Yeah. I guess only the fire was friendly." Silence.

Sharq managed a small, awkward chuckle. "Maybe I can program it to help make better jokes." Splin rubbed his head and laughed, coughing slightly.

"Alright, we need to get you back to bed man. That thing did a number on you, and if you plan to keep testing, you better not think of a Killer Wail or something." Sharq said, looking seriously down at his younger brother. He then picked up the fries and set it on the still burning cube, still giving Splin a serious look while munching on a now heated fry.

Splin shook his head sighing. "...Fine. We're gonna test it more later." Sharq picked Splin and hung him over his back, picking up and carrying the Super Sea Snail and the Tele-Cube with him up the hill. Splin's eyes began to droop from lack of energy, before he fell asleep on his brother's shoulders.

* * *

Boom… Boom…

"Urgh… Sharq, hit the alarm clock please…"

Boom… Boom…

"Sharq?" Splin's eyes opened up. He was back in his house, with Sharq nowhere to be seen. The Super Sea Snail was shivering, a bag of half-eaten fries next to it. "Hey, what's wrong?" Splin cautiously walked over to the Snail. It shivered, its eyes were darting back and forth, before it settled on the T.V. Splin pet the Snail gently to calm it down, while staring at the monitor. Curious, Splin turned on the T.V., where Rus Heba was on screen, reporting the latest incident.

"We have received word from the Inkopolis Department of Safety that a giant cube is currently rampaging throughout the city!"

"...What?" Splin's eyes went wide.

"You heard me right! We go live to News Chopper Honu, live on the scene!" The screen flashed to an overhead view of Inkopolis, where there was indeed the Tele-Cube, suspended over the city with long robotic spider-like legs, firing rounds of lasers at the buildings.

"Are you squid-kidding me?!" Splin shouted at the screen. "Wait, why did I just say that?" I'm sorry for making that pun, but I am half-sorry for having Splin say it.

"Citizens are advised to clear the area, while authorities deal with the menace!" The screen went blank, and the doors could be heard slammed open as Splin sprinted outside. The Snail's eyes darted around one more time, before it hopped over to the fry bag, and began to munch on some of the delicious tater pieces.

* * *

"...Oh Cod help us." A krill policeman said, before he was shot by a laser. The laser's effects weren't too awful though, simply turning him into an 8-Bit rendition of himself. Against all odds, the krill cop appeared perfectly fine, although his angry yells were similar to that of a certain plumber's leaping noise. Similar things were happening to other citizens. A young Inkling was transformed into an Octoling two blocks down, a teenage Inkling couple turned into a pair of rocks, and a jellyfish passerby getting vaporized. Okay the jellyfish probably wasn't a good example, but nonetheless, the poor citizens of this fair city were being affected by the malfunctioning Tele-Cube's Random Rays, as we'll call them.

"Hey wait, look up in the sky!" An Inkling boy rang out.

"Is it a bird?"

"Is it a plane?"

"Is a Superhero?!"

Just then, the Inkling who cried out "Superhero" was transported to another dimension. Hopefully one with an Inkman. Meanwhile, the aforementioned unidentified falling object was Splin, hurdling towards the cube in squid form. He slammed onto the top of the block with a thud.

"Oof!"

"Splin?!"

Looking around, Splin saw Sharq holding onto a raised piece of the cube for dear life.

"Sharq?! What are you doing here?!" Splin yelled.

"Funny you should ask, heh…" Sharq said.

* * *

"Alright cube, if you can give us fire and teleport us, then you MUST be able to replicate money." Sharq was holding a gold coin over the cube. The cube's screens all chimed a harsh beep, signifying that while it could break a universe, it wouldn't illegally forge money. "C'mon man! I gotta get back Splin's money somehow!" The cube's interface flashed to a Ranked Battle Tower Control mode, with coins raining from the sky. "I don't have enough time for that! Look, why don't I just put the coin right here-" Sharq jammed the coin into the cube, which began to shake violently. ERROR messages were plastered all over it, and the cube began to shake.

"That's not good." Sharq took the cube and ran upstairs, chucking it away. "Phew, that would've been a close one…"

* * *

"Are you serious?! You couldn't have waited for me to wake up first?!" Splin said, switching from squid form to kid form back and forth on the cube, trying not to slip off.

"You wouldn't have liked it! Besides, it probably could've worked!" Sharq yelled, slipping everywhere.

"Okay, that does it! Sharq, I'm not buying you that new level-making game for Squidmas anymooooooooore!" Splin said, falling down into the cube.

"SPLIN!" Sharq hopped as a squid down after him, while the cube was breaking down Inkopolis.

* * *

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH- Oh." Splin screamed, until he landed on something soft. "Wow. The Tele-Cube's interior feels like the mountain's grass."

"Hmm… Sharq?" Splin looked up. The entrance he had come through was slowly closing up. "...Knucklehead." Splin said agitated. Looking ahead, he spotted something glowing a reddish tint. Splin approached stealthily, ducking as a squid when its glow intensified. Walking towards the red light, Splin noticed that it was the Tele-Cube, flashing uncontrollably and rotating in the air, two spires from the floor and ceiling acting as its support. "What the-" A loud bang could be heard as Sharq slammed straight through the barrier onto the floor. The Tele-Cube's core opened up, revealing a single pixel eye staring unblinkingly at Splin. "Oh Sharq, what have you-" That's all Splin said, before he was blasted by the eye to the wall, hitting it with a thud.

"SPLIN!" Sharq ran up to his brother, now lying on the metallic floor by the wall. "Dude, y-you okay?! Say something, anything!"

"S-Sharq, you…" Splin managed, before he fell back, unconscious.

Sharq turned around at the red eye, staring each other down. "Rrgh…!" Sharq carried Splin over by the exit, and set him down. "I don't think I appreciate you hurting my brother." Sharq muttered, taking out his .96 Gal, with an odometer of course, as well as a name tag attached that read, "Burn-Out," and aimed it towards the eye. "Well? Let's go, cube!" Sharq yelled, charging towards the cube's core.

The core's pupil began to shake, unleashing waves of laser beams at Sharq, who simply avoided in squid form, shooting at the eye and the floor surrounding it. The arena began to shake suddenly, before the whole cube area tilted, reversing the walls and the floors. Sharq fell to the ceiling. "Ow!"

Hey Sharq!

"Voice?" Sharq asked, narrowly dodging another wave of lasers. "Good timing!"

Yeah, well I mean… Nevermind, charge up your special! This thing has a weakness!

Sharq nodded, shooting at the floor and jumping over laser beams. He finished covering the floor, only managing to charge up most of his special.

"What now?!" Sharq yelled.

"P-Paint the ceiling!" Sharq turned, Splin was lying on his knees, holding the side of the wall for support. "When the arena twists, that's your chance to earn more meter!" Splin yelled, collapsing while gasping for breath. "D-Don't worry about me, just f-finish it!"

"Got it!" Sharq yelled back. Charging up his special to max capacity, he unleashed his special. Which happened to be a Echolocation. "OH COME ON!" Sharq cried out in exasperation. All of a sudden, the eye stopped. The little squid arrows circling around it began to glow slightly, as did the core. The Tele-Cube began to rotate and shudder violently. "Splin!" Sharq yelled, running towards him. "Brace yourself!" Splin shouted back, both huddling up for the incoming explosion. A blast could be heard, before everything went dark.

* * *

"Ugh…" Splin woke up, out of his bed. He hissed slightly when moving up, the Tele-Cube situated uncomfortably under his blanket. This time, it was glowing a healthy green. Freaked out, Splin tossed it away, where it floated back, and rested gently on his chest. Breathing rapidly, he looked over to the other bed, where Sharq was resting peacefully, albeit a few scratches on his face.

Splin stared at the television. He nervously grabbed the remote, and pressed the On button. Instead of Rus Heba, the screen flashed to a normal Squid Sisters broadcast.

"Hold onto your tentacles…" Callie began, smile ever present on her face.

"It's Inkopolis News Time!" Marie chimed in, a smaller grin on hers.

"Before we begin, some announcements regarding the GIANT. ROBOT. ATTACK!" Callie stated, pausing dramatically after each word.

"Oh really?" Marie asked, amused.

"Miraculously, the city is still looking fresh as always!" The screenshot on the back of the stage showed the victims of the attack looking great. The krill cop was saluting the sky, the couple embracing each other, and the jellyfish happily walking along, despite there being a burn on his forehead. The Inkling turned Octoling seemed cool with it, and continued on her way.

"Alright!" Marie clapped.

"Not only that, but we've also received word from… on high." Callie stated.

Splin shut off the T.V. in relief. He knew about the Splatfest, he was simply relieved to know that no one was seriously injured in the attack.

"Nngh…" Splin turned to the bed adjacent to him. Sharq was coming to, hand on his forehead with one eye closed. "Did we win?" Sharq asked, looking to the side.

"Yep," Splin smiled. "You did it dude. You saved Inkopolis."

"Awesome." Sharq said. "O-Oh. Sorry about earlier too…"

Splin shook his head. "It's fine, you redeemed yourself today. Besides, the Squid Sisters broadcast just came on, and no one was hurt too bad."

"What about the cube?" Sharq asked.

"I dunno… It's still here, but it doesn't seem to be attacking us…" The cube floated in the empty space in the middle of them, and rested on the drawer. "Sharq, do me and Inkopolis one huge favor." Splin said.

"Yeah?"

"If you're gonna slam the alarm clock again, don't hit the cube."

Sharq rolled his eyes. "Don't have to tell me twice."

BEEP BEEP BE-

The cube slammed the alarm clock, sending it flying towards the Super Sea Snail. The Snail was ready, jumping slightly to headbutt the clock, hitting the ceiling, and quieting the alarm. Staring in amazement, the two brothers nodded, before picking up the Tele-Cube and setting it gently against the Snail's bed. The cube's lights dimmed, before the Snail rested comfortably against it. Splin and Sharq looked at each other and smiled nervously, before quickly returning to their slumber. The .96 Gal's odometer was rising by Sharq's bedside.

Sharq's Strange .96 Gal leveled up to Scarcely Lethal.

* * *

AN II: Attack of the Works: So, what do you think? I had a weird dream of something like this happening once, except it was a rogue Wii U console blasting down everyone, with Reggie Fils-Aimé taking down it with an epic battle. That would've probably been a better fic. Thanks once more to my two favorite reviewers, Anon360 and NSPfan, or in this case, nintendosegapokefan for reviewing my story once more! I honestly didn't mean to have the Inkstrike bit be that funny, but I'm glad that I made someone laugh once with the stupidity I keep thinking up of. Any other comments, criticism, reviews, etc. are appreciated. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I'm off to finally train my new Olimar amiibo, see you next time!


	10. The Brothers Meet the Cap'n

AN Classic: Those of you who haven't beaten Splatoon's singleplayer campaign, turn back now and play it, because I don't wish to spoil any of you. Or skip to the next chapter after the next chapter if it's out, this is probably gonna be a two chapter deal. ...If you're still going to read without playing, go to the naughty corner now. :( Nah just kidding. But you've been warned!

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **The Multiplayer Campaign**

"Get back here, YOU SLIMY LITTLE HIPSTERS!"

Splin and Sharq were currently running from a giant floating DJ Octopus with titanic steel rocket fists and a DJ Booth, punching at the two. Video games are weird.

"Gah! W-We didn't mean anything by what we did, honest!" Sharq exclaimed in fear, a fist slamming into the ground behind him. "I'm sure if we talk about this, maybe over a dinner at The Halibut…"

"I'M GONNA SYNCHRONIZE YOU WITH THE GROUND, PUNK." The DJ Octopus yelled, unleashing barrages of punches towards the two squids. Sharq shut his mouth, tears coming out of his eyes as he ran.

"I'm not ready to die yeeeeeeeet!" Sharq yelled.

"We shouldn't have listened to that old guy!" Splin exclaimed, thinking back to the morning.

* * *

Today in Ref- I mean, Inkopolis, everything was normal as always. The birds were chirping, Spyke was juggling the Super Sea Snails he earned the night before, Annie was opening Cooler Heads, Moe still napping in her head, Sheldon organizing weapons, Jelonzo wearing one heck of an outfit, and Crusty Sean was out for a morning jog. Also a weird old dude was peeking his head out of a grate manhole, but I'm sure no one really minds.

The bearded old Inkling with a raggy shirt, multiple medals stuck on it, as well as a dated sea captain hat watched the fresh young populace of Inkopolis waltz by, unaware that they were being watched. He was shaking slightly, eyes darting nervously. Suddenly, he spotted two Inklings walking towards him, so he retreated down into the cover, with a clank behind him.

"What're we gonna do today, Splin?" Sharq asked, walking besides his brother.

"Turf Wars and Ranked Battles are on the agenda, as always my dear brother. After all, we need to make up for that money somehow!" Splin said smiling. "...Although I'm still worried it was a mistake to leave the Snail and the Cube at home…"

* * *

The Tele-Cube attached a little harness to the Super Sea Snail, and grew a propellor out of its top. Attaching the harness with a rope, the Tele-Cube picked up the Snail and began to fly around the house, the Snail quietly cheering.

BEEP BEE-

The alarm clock quickly shut off when the Cube glowed red and the Snail looked menacingly in its direction. It gave off a small chime before the Cube and the Snail continued with their flight, the numbers on the clock moving to simulate eyes rolling.

* * *

"Ah, I'm sure they're fine, the cube can turn into a turret to shoot any invaders after all. Can we take a stop here? I'm just gonna buy a Gator-Cola really qui-" Sharq didn't get to finish, or get his drink, as he was currently falling down a manhole, his hat spinning in the air for a moment, before it followed suit. Splin stared at the manhole for a moment, before he sighed, and walked out into the empty space, and began falling, rattling the manhole as he descended.

Octo Valley, a land of kettles, octopi, and a valley, as the name implies. This area serves as the gateway between Octarian and Inkling forces. Sharq popped out the other side of the manhole entering the valley, falling on the hard ground. Propping himself up with a groan, he came face-to-face with the old Inkling from before. "Ah!" He backed up in shock, scuttling away. However, the old Inkling didn't respond, and continued to shake.

"Th-Th-The… Oct-Oct-Oct…" The old Inkling stammered out. Sharq stood up and circled around him, concerned for this person's mental health.

"Uh… Sir?" Sharq asked, tapping the elder's beard. "Y-You okay?"

"THE OCTARIANS ARE COMING!" The elder yelled in Sharq's face.

"Bwargh!" Sharq fell backwards. "Octarians?! Oh no! Not the… What are Octarians?"

Convenient to the plot, Splin popped out of the manhole's grates as a squid. "Octarians? I've read about the Octarians somewhere. Apparently they were a huge superpower who fought against the Inklings in the Great Turf War a while ago. Species of Octopi, if I remember. Bunch of casualties happened, and we ended up the victors…"

Sharq's pupils expanded slowly and stared off into the skies of Octo Valley, clearly not listening too clearly to the lengthy explanation Splin had to offer, as well as birds beginning to land on him simultaneously making a nest on his Takoroka Mesh cap as they did.

"...And that's why there's a Giant Zapfish on the top of Inkopolis Tower. ...Sharq did you listen to a single thing I said?" Sharq looked at Splin, picking up the nest of metal scraps and sticks perched on his head and laid it on the ground gently, looking Splin in the eyes.

"No." He stated simply. "I didn't come down here to go to school, Professor Splin." Sharq said mockingly. "What next, we go into the thrilling, action-packed adventures of standing around? 'Cause I think we're already experiencing that joyride."

Splin rolled his eyes with a small chuckle. "Alright, too long didn't listen, I got it. Let me simplify it for you, octopus hated squids, wars, a lot of people died, now here we are." Sharq nodded in understanding.

"I don't mean to interrupt, buckos, but…"

"Yeah?" Sharq turned to the old Inkling. "Oh, sorry you were saying something about Octarians?"

"YES." The weathered sailor yelled, startling the two. He calmed down slightly, clearing his throat and saying, "Sorry, but you two best be on the alert! Those Octo-Jerks have been stealing from us once more! Have you seen the Inkopolis Tower lately?"

"Yeah, actually! We were just on our way to a Turf War before we bumped into you." Sharq said.

Splin facepalmed. "Sharq, it's generally a good rule to refrain from telling strangers what your plans for the day are, no offense." Splin said, turning to the old Inkling.

"None taken! The name be Captain Cuttlefish, my boy! As of now, you two are officially the newest recruits to the Squidbeak Splatoon!" Captain Cuttlefish exclaimed proudly, heroically posing with his cane.

"...We didn't even agree to th-" Splin started, but was cut off by Cuttlefish once more.

"Now then, your code names shall be… Agent 3 and 4!"

"Already taken!" A chorus of other Inklings ahead stated, all wearing futuristic battle gear that glowed.

"Uh… How about… Agent 5 and 6?"

"Right here!" Two hands shot up in the back.

"Agent 7 and 8? 64 and 42? 108 and 57?!" Cuttlefish asked.

Sure enough, every number of agent name was already taken, as multiple hands shot up in the Inkling crowd. Cuttlefish put his hand on his forehead, eyes shut in thought.

"Hmm… Well, it seems like all of the numbers are taken, I'll just have to go through the alphabet for these two…" The Inkling crowd trudged away, out of Octo Valley.

"We'll do it without becoming agents! Yeesh." Sharq yelled impatiently. "Not even sure why, there's like an army of you guys already."

"You will?! That's great! I'll just need you two buckos to change into these!" Cuttlefish handed them two worn out Hero-Suits like the other agents wore, only these ones were bruised and battered beyond belief. "These belonged to some of best agents we had! Until they were squashed into crabby cakes, of course…"

"Uh, you know what? We'll just use our regular gear." Splin said, pushing away the broken suits. Captain threw the discarded Hero-Suits towards his hut, where they hit the walls with a bang and a sizzling noise, before exploding altogether.

"...What do you want us to do?" Splin asked uncertainly.

The Cap'n smiled.

* * *

"Now, all of me other agents have collected all the regular Zapfish. Your job, Agents A and B…"

"We're not agents!" Splin and Sharq exclaimed through their small headsets Cap'n gave them.

"Sorry boys, but I can't risk you two getting discovered by those Octarians through radio! They could be listening as we speak! Anyways, all you need to do, is pick up that Zapfish on the other side of this kettle!"

Splin and Sharq, tentacles and ink now yellow, were at the start of the kettle level, the Zapfish situated uncomfortably in some sort of barrier across a set of platforms, obstacles, and Octarian forces. Octarians were patrolling the entire arena, each ready to fire if something seemed off. A Super Jump pad was in front of them, beckoning them to jump in. Splin kneeled down to the Super Jump pad, and thrust his hands into the yellow ink, a bit of a clanking noise could be heard. Suddenly, the ink in the pad began to swirl quickly, Splin signaling Sharq to jump in. Sharq plunged in as a squid, cheering as he went. Splin followed, and they were shot with great force to the area the Zapfish was imprisoned, Octarian forces wide-eyed as they streaked across the skyline, skipping over them. Landing in front of the Zapfish, Sharq took out his .96 Gal and shattered the barrier with multiple shots, Splin landing by and grabbing the Zapfish.

"Whoa! How'd you manage to do that?!" Cap'n asked over the radio.

"I just fiddled around with the technology in the Super Jump pad." Splin said. "Not even sure why they had those here, the Octarian forces weren't using it."

Bate Bros.: 1, Game Balance: 0.

"Hi voice!" Sharq said.

"Voice? You already know me name, Agent A, it be Cap'n Cuttlefish." Cap'n said through the headset. "Ah, nevermind that, just get back over here with the Zapfish. Over and out!" A bit of a crackling sound could be heard, before the headset went silent.

"Wait, how do we get out?" Sharq looked around. The platform the Zapfish was suspended on had nothing but the barrier device encasing the Zapfish, nothing else nearby except the fumingly frustrated Octarian forces on the other platforms, kicking away with their tiny Octopus limbs at their weapons.

Splin inspected the barrier device, only to get shocked when he tried to fiddle with the wiring. "Gyhahaho!" Splin was launched backwards slightly, smoking from the electricity that coursed through his body. "No good…" He said, resting his head, staring at the sky. "Wait a minute…" Splin sat up shakily. "If we have a fish that can generate electricity… Maybe we can use him to… No, wait. Our weapons hardly use any electricity, that wouldn't work."

While Splin was pondering, Sharq took out a small candy bar he had been saving in his pocket. The Zapfish stared at Sharq, wistfully. "You want a snack little Zapfish?" The Zapfish started to jump up and down with glee, excited for the chance of food. "Alright, you can have some." Sharq broke off a small piece, and offered it to the Zapfish, who hungrily ate it all in one bite. Suddenly, the Zapfish stopped, a small amount of static flashing around its whiskers, before the Zapfish started to glow.

Splin looked over to the side and gasped. "Sharq what are you doing?!" Splin ran over to his ignorant brother and the glowing catfish.

"I just gave him a little food, little guy was hungry." Sharq shrugged.

"Okay then, what did you give him…?" Splin said, still staring at the Zapfish.

"I just gave him this candy I brought along for a snack!" Sharq raised the candy bar. On the side, it said, "Rare Candy, Energy in Every Bite!"

"Where'd you get that? We hardly have any food at home much less candy."

"From the Tele-Cube!" Sharq smiled.

"Oh no."

Suddenly, the Zapfish stopped glowing. Instead of a small, yellow Zapfish, the organism in its place was larger, and it had a black glossy sheen to its scales. The mouth and eyes were more spread apart, looking more like a proper Great Zapfish. The only thing that wasn't changed to much was the wire-like whiskers.

Congratulations! Your ZAPFISH evolved into a SHOCKWHISK! Would you like to name your new SHOCKWHISK?

"Um." Splin and Sharq stared at the tiny Great Zapfish for a while. "Shockwhisk is fine?" They said uncertainly. Suddenly, the newly named Shockwhisk began to hop around the platform, suddenly coiling around Splin and Sharq.

"What's going on?" Sharq asked.

The Shockwhisk began to flatten as it coiled.

"Sharq, get ready to Super Jump." Splin said, shifting into a squid. Sharq didn't ask questions, and did the same thing.

Shockwhisk used Bounce!

The three of them were bounced away, Splin and Sharq launched farther with their Super Jumps, Shockwhisk following suit. "I guess it solves that problem!" Splin said, as he shot through the sky.

* * *

Cap'n Cuttlefish was sitting on the couch by his small hut, staring at the valley. "Those two haven't made it back yet. I wonder what happened?" Just then, Splin, Sharq, and the Shockwhisk landed one by one on top of his hut, rattling the sheet metal on top. Cap'n jumped up, running off his couch to get a better angle of the two. "There you are! I was wondering about you two!" Cap'n stared at the Shockwhisk with a look of surprise on his face. "You already took back the Great Zapfish?! That's incredible!"

"No… This is apparently just a smaller version, we call it a 'Shockwhisk'." Splin said, hopping off the roof of Cap'n's hut, a bit of a dent where he landed. "Sorry about the roof."

"It's fine bucko, any help we can get is good! Now I'm certain you and Agent A are ready to get back the real Great Zapfish!" Cap'n said triumphantly.

"Actually, right now I think we'll have to pass, we need to get some food before we tackle something like that again."

Cap'n stared at them, head tilted. "But you hardly did anything."

"It's not that, we just haven't eaten in awhile." Sharq said, before his stomach chimed in with angry growls. "As you can hear from my friend right here."

Cap'n sighed. "Alright. But you two better be back here soon, the other Agents have today and tomorrow off, so get to it!"

"So THAT'S why no one else is here! Wait, you mean to tell me that all of those Inklings get the day off, so we have to do their dirty work?" Sharq asked.

"Well, of course. Those people have a lot of things to do. No offense you two, but it doesn't look like you had too much work to do this morning."

The two brothers looked at each other, and nodded. "Yeah I guess that makes sense. Don't worry Cap'n, me and Splin here will be back, we just gotta get a bite to eat. Do you and Shockwhisk need anything or…?"

"Ooh! How about some crabby cakes?" Cap'n suggested, Shockwhisk's happy bounding a sign that he'd like some as well.

"Alright, alright. We'll be back soon." Splin said, switching out his headset with his headphones, and jumping backwards into the grates that lead back to Inkopolis. Sharq waved, and plunged through the grates as well.

* * *

"How could you fools fail?! All you had to do, was literally stand in one place and make sure no one gets past!" A booming voice shouted.

An Octarian troop amidst the crowd spoke up nervously, "W-We're sorry, DJ Octavio, sir, b-but…"

"Oh, another excuse? This is getting repetitive, people! If you're gonna lie to me, at least add something extra, this music to my ears thing is starting to become nails on a chalkboard!" The booming voice yelled. "You know what, delete that track. I'm just going to have to bring in the elites to deal with these guys."

As if on cue, a plethora of troops walked in. They had a body similar to Inklings, only the tentacles were smaller and only curved down so much. They wore metallic armour, a pair of goggles and all had a weapon that looked similar to a Splattershot, only with a more cone-like nozzle.

"Octolings! Those Inkling scum have been trespassing on our turf again, presumably to steal the Great Zapfish from us!"

"Yeah, they already stole all of the other Zapfish from us. We're not stupid." Another voice called out. Gasps echoed throughout the crowd, everyone moving to face the one who said that. Looking out, an Octoling with her tentacles messily undone, her goggles tucked into her armor. "Of course, leaving the Jump Pad at the start of the kettle unguarded was dumb in general."

DJ Octavio simply laughed. "Is that so?! Maybe we should put YOU in charge, T-41!" The other Octarian forces simply groaned.

"T-41, don't do this again. The last time you talked back to Octavio, you got us all in trouble." Another Octoling said.

"Eh, what's he gonna do, pummel me with robot fists? I'd like to see him try." The Octoling said lazily, juggling her gun and goggles.

"If you think you're such a hotshot, then I'm putting you, T-41, in charge of the last defense before the Great Zapfish and myself, let's see you try to talk back when getting blasted by an Inkling!" The entire crowd 'oohed' in response to their leader's dare.

The Octoling yawned, switching into octopus form and catching all her equipment as it fell down. "You're on, oldie." The crowd 'oohed' once more. "I'll take those squids down and be home in time for dinner." She said, walking away. "Oh, and the name's Tai, not T-41. Remember that when I whoop both the Inklings' and your butts." The crowd went nuts, staring back at DJ Octavio and cheering.

DJ Octavio sighed, chuckling slightly. "That girl will never learn. She may be the top Octoling for now, but hopefully she doesn't get clouded in the music. Alright, everyone who is designated to their posts, go now, the rest… Practice I suppose."

The Octarian forces all saluted, yelling "Yes sir!", before going about their business, looking forward to T-41, or Tai's performance.

* * *

AN Remastered: Well, I'm gonna need to go into overtime for this one. I didn't really want to delve into the Single-Player story of Splatoon too much, since I thought it'd be unoriginal, but I couldn't help it, and decided I'd have Splin and Sharq put their own little twist on the story. Thanks to sebastian G and Anon360 for reviewing once more! Glad to see this dumb story I made is curing boredom, that's what it was made for originally. Well, that's all for now, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I need to practice my skills, good day to you all!


	11. An Irresponsible Octoling

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Octolings Ahoy!**

"What's with all the weird stuff lately?" Sharq asked, nibbling on a crabby cake. Splin and Sharq were walking back to Octo Valley, strapped with multiple bags of food. "I mean, there was the Inkslide Park, the people chasing us on the News, us winning flawlessly then getting completely owned? When will we ever get a break?"

Splin yawned. "We'll get a break later. Grinding for coins in Turf Wars to get all this food was tough, but we need to press on."

"Tell me about it, that Slosher chick was a jerk." Sharq frowned. "Cute, but a jerk."

"Besides, we need to save the final Zapfish. If they manage their security as well as they did last time, I'm sure we can get it back."

Sharq chuckled at the level design. They now stood at the same grate as before, near the vending machine.

"Ladies first?" Sharq joked.

"If I had my arms free I'd slug you on the shoulder." Splin said, kicking open the grate and dropping the food in. Sharq did the same, and they both jumped down in squid form to the valley.

Cap'n was pacing back and forth nervously. His eyes were drooping, and his hands were behind his back. The food that suddenly burst out of the manhole didn't help.

"Gar!" Cap'n shouted, falling back. The crabby cakes landed by the shack, Splin and Sharq landing on their feet as well.

"We're back Cap'n, and ready to get that Zapfish!" Sharq said enthusiastically. "Oh and here's your crabby cakes."

"Thank you boys… But I'm afraid I got some dire news… The Octarians are stepping up. They've set up a huge blockade to prevent the final Zapfish from being taken!"

"So they positioned troops on floating platforms as obstacles to prevent us from moving forward. Can't we just Super Jump over them again? It worked well previously." Splin said.

Cap'n shook his head. "Agent B, your smarts may have worked on the previous kettle…"

As well as completely destroy the point of the level…

"But this time is different. You're going up against the elite forces of the Octarians. The Octolings are no walk in the park me bucko." Cap'n explained.

"Octolings?" Sharq asked.

"I'll explain more when you get there. Hop to it Agents!" Cap'n pointed at the kettles floating.

Splin and Sharq sighed. "Aye aye…" They ran through the singleplayer level hub, towards the next kettle and a showdown.

* * *

"T-41, do you copy?" A voice rang out from Tai's goggles.

"Yeah, I can hear you, whatever, blah blah blah I'm here." Tai said bored.

The Octarian forces managed to take over the Kelp Dome Turf War stage, where they were setting up a base to counter a certain Inkling duo. Octarian troops were stationed as the main sentries, while Octolings were Super Jumping everywhere, scouting the area. They had managed to pry off a spawn point and install a Zapfish cage in its place, with a Zapfish itself trapped inside. Tai was commanded to sit by the Zapfish, a treat bestowed by DJ Octavio himself, with two other Octoling commanders wearing kelp on their heads. Tai simply thought that this made them look more like kelp-for-brains than usual.

"Alright, L-33 and 7-00, you two must report to the middle of the dome. T-41, you're on your own. Good luck, over and out."

Tai stretched her arms boredly. "'Kay." She stated simply. The voice on the other side of her goggle headset grumbled, before the connection cut off.

Having fun?

Tai stood up and looked around, her Octoshot firmly in her grasp. "Who's there? I'm armed, and I WILL shoot you down."

Relax T-41, not here to hurt you.

Tai relaxed slightly, tapping the side of her goggles. "T-41 to Homebase, if this is a prank, it sure as heck ain't funny." All that came out of the goggles was static noise.

Sorry. Just letting you know that you might wanna brace yourself.

"For what?" Tai asked, staring at the sky.

A couple pals of mine are advancing towards the Zapfish. If you happen to see two Inklings, one wearing headphones and the other a cap, it should be advised that you try not to die. Over and out.

"Wait! Who are you? And what do you mean by, 'try not to die'?" Tai asked again.

Just a voice in your head, looking out for you.

Tai grunted, sitting back down by the Zapfish, who stared at her. Tai looked up at the Zapfish, and lowered her goggles. "'Sup?"

The Zapfish put a tiny flipper on the energy field. Tai grinned, looking ahead at the base. Her grin drooped when she realized that there were streaks of blue running rampant.

"Great, here come the Inkling scum now." The Zapfish smiled in its little sphere, only to stop when Tai shot a look at it. However, Tai smiled as well, and stared at the action. "Hope these guys are good, it'd be a waste of my time to splat something that can hardly aim."

* * *

Splin and Sharq were blasting through the base, swimming in their ink and jumping through the paths connecting throughout the dome. Octarian forces attempted to block their paths, only to get splatted by Sharq's Strange Hero Roller or Splin's Factory New Hero Charger. Yeah these references are probably never gonna stop I'm so sorry.

"Man, it sure was nice of the Cap'n to let us use these new weapons!" Sharq said, rolling over a Octotrooper stuck in the ink.

Splin nodded. "This thing works like a charm, it's so clean too!" Splin blasted a floating Octocopter's propellor, prompting it to yell as it hit the ink with an audible, 'thump'. Octolings watching cringed watching the poor guy get rekt, before moving in to attack.

Splin and Sharq moved to the center platform of the stage, where multiple Octolings Super Jumped to surround them.

"Gotcha now suckers!" An Octoling cried out, shooting towards the brothers. Of course, the Octoling AI has trouble aiming in Splatoon, so all the brothers had to do was move to the bridge, edging out of range. More Octolings followed them to the bridge, only to get splatted immediately.

I mean seriously, if you go to Splatoon's single player campaign and stand above an Octoling's ground height, they'll have so much trouble shooting you, it's weird.

"Voice, this isn't a great time." Splin said, more Octolings beginning to surround them.

The Octolings pointed at the two brothers, and whistled. Suddenly, multiple Octotroopers and Octocopters charged at the two. The Bate Brothers ran off the bridge into the Octarian spawn area, where they set up bombs to get rid of any resistance. Sharq rushed in, Splin keeping a watchful eye, both taking out the resistance.

"I see the Zapfish!" Sharq exclaimed standing at the foot of the tower the spawn point would normally be on. The Zapfish waved using its tiny flippers. Sharq walked towards the tower, only to be stopped by a pair of Octolings. The Octolings came from behind the tower, shooting rapidly towards Sharq. Sharq tossed a Suction Bomb, hopping away as a squid, Splin shooting rounds to cover him. The Suction Bomb's whirring alerted the Octolings, who moved out of the spawn more, only to get sniped and crushed. Sharq cheered, Splin giving him a thumbs-up.

"Not bad. The voice in my head wasn't lying, you two owned those guys." Sharq looked up, where an Octoling sat, stroking her gun like it was a cat. "But those two sucked anyways. Now you fight a REAL Octoling." The Octoling took out a Splat Bomb, and jumped off the tower, landing on it with her boots. The shattered bomb covered the area in purple ooze.

Sharq took up a fighting stance, roller poised to strike. "You're on, lady!"

* * *

Tai chuckled when hearing the Inkling accept her challenge. "Lady? My, how quaint of you. Next thing, I bet you'll take me out for a refined dinner at a restaurant in your little city." Tai stood up in a dignified manner, and curtseyed.

The Inkling started to snicker at the idea, but quickly shook his head. "Don't distract me. We're here to get that Zapfish back and save Inkopolis!" He yelled, pumping his fist in the air.

"Well then, come over here and get it!" Tai teased, waggling her finger. She then took out another Splat Bomb and tossed it at the Inkling. He yelled out in surprise, throwing it back, the bomb exploding in midair. The bomb served as a distraction, Tai sneaking behind him in Octopus form. Confused, the Inkling placed down a Suction Bomb at his feet, much to the annoyance of Tai, and rolled over to the tower. Not willing to let Octavio get the better of her, Tai shot at the Inkling, slamming him into the wall. The Inkling fell over, dazed.

"Well, that was easy." Tai attempted to splat the Inkling, moving closer, only to get intercepted by a rifle shot. _"Of course there would be another one…"_ Looking at the bridge leading out of spawn, Tai noticed another Inkling carrying a Charger weapon running to help his beaten comrade.

* * *

Splin beat back multiple Octotroopers, Octocopters, and even a few Octolings. When he saw Sharq get shot into a wall, that's when he began to panic. Despite his weapon's issue with close range, he began to sprint towards Sharq, and the Octoling, holding a Splat Bomb in his hand. The Octoling smirked, before taking out a Splat Bomb of her own. They tossed the bombs, each hurled past the other, the two firing at each other. Splin took careful aim, but missed, as she was pressing him with ink shots.

* * *

Tai was spraying purple ink at the enemy squid, hoping to disrupt his sight and move closer for the kill. However, despite getting hit with some blasts, the Inkling kept moving forward, with his rifle level to his face, firing at her. She began to fire back while moving backwards, getting close to the wall. Suddenly, she tripped over something, hitting the wall with a thud.

Tai hissed in pain, looking at the Inkling with a Roller that tripped her up. The Roller Inkling and the Charger Inkling had cornered and aimed their weapons at her, albeit hesitant.

* * *

"What are you two waiting for? Make it quick." Tai said, looking away.

Splin and Sharq stared at the Octoling for a moment, before slowly bringing their weapons closer. Luckily for Tai, a beat could be heard emanating from behind the tower.

Tai grinned ominously. "You two squids better run. It was a pleasure fighting you, but I'd better jet." Tai began to Super Jump, before Sharq stopped her.

"Wait!"

Tai remained in octopus form, brow raised at this request. "What is it, Roller Boy?" She asked.

"...What's your name?" Sharq asked in response.

Tai blinked at the Inkling in confusion. Someone who asked her name? "It's T-41. ...Or Tai, if you're asking by birth."

"Splin." Splin spoke up.

"...Name's Sharq." Sharq said.

Tai stared bewilderingly at the two assailants who immediately gave their names just for kicks, then smiled genuinely. "It's been a pleasure. Mata atode ne, Inklings scum, good luck fighting our leader." With that being said, Tai jumped away.

Splin and Sharq looked at the fading daylight sky, watching the Octoling known as T-41 spiral away. However, they neglected a certain someone.

"Pretty tough to deal with, huh Inkling menace?"

The brothers jumped at the sudden voice, and turned around to face the tower. The Zapfish was still in its sphere encasing, but was being tossed up and down by a giant mech. An Octopus wearing a samurai hat and wielding two wasabi sticks was inside of it, next to a turn table.

"I'll never understand that girl. Decides to mix it up by joining by elite squadron and leaving her poor mother, just to hang out with an old DJ." The Octopus remarked, looking down. Splin and Sharq sat down and listened to the Octopus, interested in his story. The Octopus looked up, and a hint of a smile appeared on his face.

"Liked the story, didn't you? Guess some Inklings are still good listeners after all these years. But enough talk. Now, you came for a certain Zapfish, if I'm not mistaken." The Octopus questioned, patting the Zapfish ball. Splin and Sharq turned to each other, and looked back, nodding.

The Octopus, using the mech hands, laid the Zapfish back on its pedestal, and made a cracking knuckles gesture using the robotic limbs. "Well then, you'd better get ready for a beatdown, and this has nothing to do with music. DJ Octavio in the dome, and I'm here to mash-up your mangled bodies!" Splin and Sharq got to their feet and backed up.

That's your queue guys.

"Alright." Splin said, dragging Sharq away running, the DJ scratching discs and prepping missiles behind them.

* * *

And that's how this whole mess started.

"Thanks for repeating that, but I'd appreciate it if you'd SAY SOMETHING HELPFUL!" Splin cried out, the two still being chased by the Octarian King, or President… I dunno, the leader.

"There's nowhere left to swim now, squids! Stand still, I'll drop the bass quick enough so that you won't feel too much pain." DJ Octavio said, raising his fists.

"Not if we can help it!" Someone cried out. Suddenly, an Inkling wearing a pink beanie with a star on it and a pair of sunglasses jumped out, firing a Hero-Shot at the giant mech's fists. Another one followed, this one wearing a flat green cap and a surgical mask.

HMM, I WONDER WHO THESE TWO COULD BE?

"What do you mean voice?" Sharq asked.

Splin stared at the two new Inkling heroes. "He has a point, I feel like I've seen those two somewhere before. Maybe on television?"

"Uh, that's not important right now! The point is, me and Agent 2 got your backs, Agents A and B!" The sunglasses sporting agent said.

"Yep. Agent 1 and I will take care of him for now. You two report back to Cap'n while we take care of this Octopus and his cruddy music." The mouth covering agent said, slightly sassing Octavio in the process.

"Wow, no need to be a party crasher." DJ Octavio stated, firing at Agents 1 and 2.

"Your aim is just as bad as your beats." Agent 2 sassed again. "C'mon Agent 1, let's take this fool to school!"

Agent 1 grinned, tossing Burst Bombs at the robot.

Splin and Sharq took advantage of the situation and quickly Super Jumped away, leaving the two other agents to battle against the DJ.

"Ahoy lads! Have you two retrieved the Zapfish?" Cap'n asked.

"Sorry Cap'n, but we were interrupted by this guy called DJ Octavio… He prevented us from getting a step closer to that fish!" Sharq explained.

Cap'n's eyes widened. "DJ Octavio?! How did you make it out of there in one piece?"

"I believe two of your agents came in and distracted him. Agents 1 and 2 I believe?" Splin stated.

Cap'n's eyes widened even more, to the point where if he got anymore surprised they'd probably jump out of their sockets and do a jig on the ground. "1 and 2?! This is bad, I'll need to send in Agent 3 to help them out! Er, good job Agents A and B, you can go home now! We'll sort this out later, you two deserve a break!"

"Tell me about it." Sharq mumbled.

The two brothers waved goodbye to the flustered captain, and plunged through the grates. On the other side in Inkopolis, the brothers reappeared, and Super Jumped away, back to their homes under the cool night sky.

* * *

"Rrgh… They managed to recapture the Zapfish. T-41, for losing the bet, you must now suspend yourself from duty for a few days. This was the greatest opportunity to strike at those Inklings, but now they'll all be alert, partying it up with this Art and Science Splatfest!" DJ Octavio scolded Tai, who rolled her eyes.

"I didn't see you beat those two. You couldn't even take out Agents 1 and 2, and you're calling ME out?" Tai said.

DJ Octavio put a sucker to his forehead. "Don't sass me T-41, I already had to deal with Agent 2. Anyway, you are dismissed, you can go off to your bunk now…"

Tai started for her bed, but turned and said, "Well for what it's worth, you knew that you'd be getting the sass package once you agreed to help me and old momma back home, so thanks."

"For what?" DJ Octavio asked, a sack of ice on his head.

"Helping us out. Goodnight oldie, happy Splatfeeeest~!" Tai drew out the last word, a giggle echoing throughout the base.

Octavio sighed. "What am I gonna do with you, Tai…"

* * *

AN: Welcoming Tai, the irresponsible Octoling to the cast! I did say that there would be spoilers, so don't blame me if you saw something you didn't mean to see. Anyways, how about that Art vs. Science Splatfest, huh? From the time I started writing this Author's Note, it had already hit 9:01 P.M., and I had to go eat lunch with my family tomorrow. So, I may have unfortunately cost some skill points for Team Art. Sorry guys! Thanks again to Anon360 and sebastian G, or sebastian830, whichever you prefer! Thank you for telling me that my story can cheer you up, sebastian, gern geschehen! (Hopefully I said you're welcome in German, I'm not too well versed in the languages in the world.) Thanks and apologies to Anon360. My sense of humor has been assaulted with references, memes, easter eggs, and a bunch of other stuff, so I apologize if I overload your senses with references sometimes. Anyways, thanks again everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, hopefully I can help my team out in Splatfest soon. See ya!


	12. The Brothers and the Timebomb

AN 2: Episode 1: I looked over your suggestion sebastian830, I'm sorry but I decided that the narrator voice would really just be one sentient voice that can speak to certain individuals. However, I'll try to talk in different tones with the different characters, so that it seems more personalized. Hope you'll enjoy it.

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **A Timebomb Set For Detonation**

"Man, that Splatfest was fun!" Sharq laughed.

The Art vs. Science Splatfest was concluded, Splin and Sharq only attending a couple of battles of course, and the Inkopolis Plaza was settling down. The Booyah Base shopkeepers helped Callie and Marie clean-up the giant trucks where they would normally perform on, Spyke rhythmically tapping his finger on the ground as usual, rolling in the money. And Super Sea Snails.

Currently, the two were at home. Despite earning a couple Super Sea Snails, they gave most of them to Spyke or other people as an act of goodwill, and the fact that they couldn't afford to pay for food for all these snails. They did, however, find out a new name for their beloved Snail pet.

"I'll call you… Salty!" Sharq exclaimed, raising the newly named Salty above his head, under the cramped roof of their house. Salty seemed to like his new name, and made "clink" noises in its shell happily.

"Ah. The classic phrase to describe sore losers, and in this case, sore winners and losers." Splin nodded. "Makes sense considering the Splatfest results."

Salt comes standard with all Splatfests now, don't you know.

Splin acknowledged the voice first, saying, "Hello voice."

"Hiya voice!" Sharq piped up, patting Salty and putting him by the Tele-Cube, which glowed a deep blue, presumably in a hibernation mode. Sharq suddenly paused, scratching his head, and asked, "Hey wait, you weren't around much last time? Where were you?"

Oh, just paying someone a visit.

"Who?" Sharq asked, picking up a Splatendo Wii U Gamepad. (I couldn't think of a good name pun for this one, sorry.)

Eh, you probably already know her.

"Hmm… That doesn't really answer my question." Sharq put his fist on his cheek, wondering.

But anyways, I've been thinking. You two have been working pretty hard in your adventures. I think you deserve a much needed break.

"As much as I appreciate that voice…" Splin began, "I fail to understand how that relates to your visit."

Don't worry your little Inkling head about it, Splin. Go ahead, take a load off, play something on that laptop of yours, I gotta go somewhere, see ya!

Splin and Sharq looked at each other, then shrugged and waved to the ceiling, both bidding the voice adieu. Sharq offered a Wiimote to Splin, who reluctantly took it, and began their day off.

* * *

T-41, or as we all know her as Tai, was bouncing a blob of ink back and forth on the wall of her dorm. Her goggles were undone, lying around her neck. The dorm was pretty darn small, with only one room consisting of a bed, an alarm on the wall, metal floors, ceilings, and walls, and a small bathroom to the left. The door leading out was a simple blast door that would open automatically, a small glass window stuck in the middle. Even though it looked like the most uncomfortable hotel room ever, it was considered a luxury to most Octarian soldiers, who would normally be stuck inside with other Octotroopers, crammed together.

The blob of ink made a harsh "bang" as it collided with the metal, making a repetitive melody of crashes and bangs. Tai kept score, mentally adding a point each time she caught the ball as it bounced back. Of course, a loud noise repeatedly made at nighttime doesn't go down well with neighbors.

"T-41! CEASE THIS RACKET IMMEDIATELY!" An agitated voice yelled from behind the left wall.

Tai giggled. "What's the matter, Aussie? Too loud for you?" Tai kicked the side of the wall with her boot, rattling the wall.

"IT'S 4U55-13! JU- Just… Go to bed, T-41." Aussie quieted down, a sigh passing through the wall.

Tai punched the wall in smug rebellion. Thug Life.

"AND STOP HITTING THE WALL!" Aussie yelled back.

Tai sat on her cot, pouting. "The Inklings get to stay up all night playing Splatfest, why not me?" We hardly get called out to do stuff, and I'm supposed to stay in here, doing nothing? Bull. Shrimp."

Now now, there's no need to use such language young lady.

Tai looked around. "Oh boy, I'm going crazy too. That voice from before…"

If you were going crazy, you probably would've murdered everyone here by now.

Tai nodded. "True, true. But still, there's the problem with me having to stay indoors. Why can't I go out and do something? ANYTHING?"

Tai's goggles began to crackle around her neck, a voice chiming, "T-41, report to the main briefing room for an assignment, over."

Looks like something opened up.

"This better be good." Tai said, taking her goggles and attaching it around her head. She stood up and walked out of the room, the door making a clunk each time it came down.

* * *

"T-41. As you know, Agents 1 and 2 of the New Squidbeak Splatoon have taken back the final Zapfish before the Great Zapfish, with the help of some new faces." An elderly Octosniper explained.

Tai sat at a large oval table, multiple seats circling it. At the head of the table was the elderly Octosniper, as well as other Octolings and Octotroopers sitting around. Tai was at the very end, sipping a cup of joe.

"Mmm-hmm." Tai mumbled in acknowledgment, enjoying her drink.

A younger Octoling smacked the cup out of her hand. "Pay more attention! The commander is speaking to you, show some re-"

Of course, you should know that you never mess with Tai's drink. Tai stood up from her seat removing her goggles, grabbed the other Octoling by the chestplate, slapped off the other Octoling's goggles, and stared her in the eyes.

"Look at that. You spilled my drink. I wonder if your ink would work as a good substitute?" Tai asked semi-menacingly.

The other Octoling laughed. "You don't scare me, T-41. You couldn't take care of a single Inkling, and you expect me to-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence, as Tai kneed her in the stomach, then flipped her onto the floor, and poured the rest of her coffee on her face.

"I haven't gotten any sleep, so you're lucky I don't break your head with my mug." Tai stated agitated. She turned back to the table of Octarian forces, who were scooting their chairs away from her. "As you were saying?" Tai asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

The Octosniper blinked, wiping away beads of sweat. "E-Er. Right. So, we need to launch a counter-attack, possibly get the Zapfish back. The celebration called, 'Splatfest' by those Inklings is over…"

Tai grumbled, looking at the floor sourly.

"...So now would be an optimal time to strike." The Octosniper finished.

"So what do I have to do? Assassinate their popstars? Poison their drinkable water? Maybe even take them on in the plaza?" Tai asked in interest.

"...Actually, we need you to sabotage one of the stages they always play on." The Octosniper said.

Tai stared in disbelief for a moment, before bursting into laughter. "Oh man! Y-You want me to blow up one stage just so they can't play their little game? Ahahah! That's priceless! That's- Oh you're serious." Tai's laughter abruptly stopped.

An Octocopter sitting in a chair spoke up. "T-41, I know it sounds kinda stupid, but-"

"It IS stupid, Jerry. Why should we blow up a single stage when we could assault the main plaza?"

Because there are multiple squid kids who would splat you three times over before you would respawn.

"Grr, whatever. That's still a bad idea." Tai muttered, confusing the other Octarians.

"Uh… Who are you talking to-" Another young Octoling started, before Tai interrupted her.

"Another thing, aren't I banned from working out in the field for a while?" Tai asked.

"Not anymore." A voice stated firmly. DJ Octavio floated over to the table from the shadows, settling by Tai.

"T-41, I'm giving you permission to go out there and sabotage those Inklings. Give them a thrashing that'll show 'em who's boss." Octavio said, placing a tentacle on Tai's shoulders.

"Feh." Tai pushed Octavio away. "Sure, when you need someone to do the job, NOW you put me in. Just get a squad of your other Octolings to do the job."

"You know that wouldn't work. L-33 and 7-00 are still recovering, as for the other two…"

"Yeah yeah, one was splatted, the other one's missing. I know this. Watashi wa baka ja nai, I'm not stupid." Tai stated quickly.

A hint of anger could be seen flashing through Octavio's eyes, before he calmed down. "All we need you to do is scare the Inklings away. Once they're intimidated enough, they'll think twice before messing with us."

Tai sat up. "Alright, I'll need the bomb, my equipment, and a drink. This one over here spilled the first one." Tai gestured to the unconscious Octoling. "Don't worry, I'll bring her back to her bunk. As for the mission…"

* * *

The first thing Tai felt as she jumped through a kettle was mild excitement. Sure, she could potentially die or get captured and tortured for information, but getting to move out of the stuffy kettles and into the Inkling world was pretty cool. Standing outside of the kettle for the first time, she took her new surroundings with stride, basking in the cool night air. Tai pat a small C4 bomb attached to her belt, a small keycode pad on it. Beginning to walk out the kettle, she went out, headstrong and confident of her abilities. Of course, the small version of the Great Zapfish was quite a surprise to her.

"WHOA!" Tai said, stumbling backwards. The Great Zapfish look alike stared at her, piercing her soul with his eyes.

"Ugh." Tai stood up and dusted herself off, walking off without a care. The Great Zapfish followed her, whimpering.

"SHH!" Tai shushed.

The Great Zapfish simply stared, before barking, "Shockwhisk!"

Tai looked at the self-proclaimed, 'Shockwhisk' with mild amusement and confusion, before she heard snoring coming from ahead. Peering around the corner, she noticed an old Inkling wearing a captain's hat and rags for clothes, shiny medals attached. Tai looked at the Shockwhisk, putting one finger up and blowing in a, "please-be-quiet-so-I-don't-die" gesture. The Shockwhisk laid on the ground, seemingly understanding. Tai gave it a thumbs-up, and began to tiptoe past the old timer.

"SNNRK! Ah yes please… Thank you Callie… zZzZz… Don't take away my crabby cakes…! zZzZz…" The old Inkling spouted in his sleep. Tai couldn't help but suppress a smile, shaking it off when she remembered her mission. She hopped through the grate leading to Inkopolis in octopus form, sliding towards her destiny. Or at least the chance to delay the next Splatfest.

Popping her head out of the grate, Tai took in the sights and sounds of Inkopolis. Other Octarian forces had spread rumors that it was a place of no mercy, or extreme foolishness. To her, it just looked like any old city.

How you liking Inkopolis, Octo-child?

Tai breathed in the air, and sighed in relief. "Not exactly what I expected, but still, pretty cool." The sly Octoling surveyed the area, Inklings and other sea creatures were loading up trucks with boxes.

Boxes? Hmm. Hey Tai, maybe you could use one of those as a disguise.

Tai pulled her goggles down. "Are you kidding? These squids can't be that stupid. ...Can they?"

* * *

Sharq was out for one last sight of the city before he went to bed. Of course, all that running around in the Turf Wars was not without its flaws. Walking around, he saw that most of the benches in Inkopolis were taken by other Inklings or had some boxes stacked on them for pickup. Too tired and lazy to Super Jump home, he scoped out a place he could sit on. Spotting a discarded box, away from the other boxes, he walked over, and sat directly on top.

"Ow!" A voice cried out from inside.

"Huh?" Sharq hopped off the box, and lifted it slightly. Inside was none other than the Octoling from earlier, or Tai. "!" Sharq's eyes widened at this.

If I had my phone handy, I would play a certain stealth music piece at this part, but I'm using way too many references right now so it will have to wait.

"HELP!" He began to run away, until Tai pulled him inside. Freaking out, he began flopping around as a squid inside the box, only calming down when Tai picked him up and slapped him silly.

"BE. QUIET." Tai emphasized the words with a slap.

"Ouch! Okay okay! I'm sorry." Sharq said, reverting back to a humanoid form, rubbing his cheek. "What are YOU doing here anyways?"

"Top secret mission. You're lucky I don't slap you into oblivion after saying that." Tai lifted the box gently, scanning the ground for anyone who would tread nearby. Seeing no one, she put the box down.

"Look, you seem like a cool dude, so I'm gonna let you in on a secret." Tai said, eyes darting back and forth. "I'm gonna blow up that new bridge you guys love so much."

"HAMMERHEAD BRIDGE?!" Sharq exclaimed.

"Shh! Look, it's from the higher ups. I'm supposed to do it."

"Why?!" Sharq asked.

Some of the Octarians are just crazy like that.

"Really?" Sharq questioned again, Tai looking at the cramped ceiling of the box.

"Hey voice, shush! He doesn't need to know!" Tai whined.

"Wait, you can hear him too? I thought Splin and I were just going insane!"

Tai meet Sharq, Sharq meet Tai.

A moment of silence occurred, before the Octoling and the Inkling slowly shook hands.

"That's great and all, but I'm in a predicament. This guy over here isn't going to let me detonate this bomb. Another thing is that now I know that multiple people probably share the same idea as him. So, I'd have to go back empty handed, where my superiors are waiting, only for them to fire me and cut off my pay. Perfect. Just perfect."

Just then, a beeping noise could be heard. The ink-based C4 that Tai carried started beeping.

"Not to mention the bomb I'm carrying is activated." Tai sighed.

"What?! When did that happen?!"

Those things are sensitive. You did crash into the thing while you were being slapped silly. Though I'm still curious on how CS:GO C4s put up so much resistance.

"He's right. Anyways…" Tai interrupted, "The timer on this thing is set for 45 minutes. It was meant so that when everyone least expects it and the workers on the bridge are done, it would splat the bridge in Octarian ink, where are forces would move in to occupy, or to destroy the bridge altogether. Either way, the two options would be destructive."

Sharq sighed, before an idea came to his head. "Wait a second, I know someone who could help us out with this! Follow me, we can probably make it there without too much of a hitch!"

"Hold on there boy! I know you're eager, but what would these people think of an Inkling escorting an attractive little Octoling like me carrying a bomb?" Tai said.

Sharq face reddened. "Uh yeah… Sorry. Attractive?" Sharq asked.

Tai merely rolled her eyes. "Hey man, a girl's gotta look her best, even when on a mission."

Well, you two are in a box. You could use the box as cover while you sneak through Inkopolis.

"Yeah, that'll work, The Steamroller over here totally didn't see me." Tai remarked.

"To be fair, I just wanted a place to sit." Sharq chimed in.

Hey, if a war veteran and a clone of him could do it, you can too.

Tai and Sharq stared at each other, before they decided to put it to action. "Alright, let's go…"

* * *

Callie pouted slightly, her hand on her chin, boredly watching worker Inklings carry Splatfest materials into the truck. Marie and Jelonzo sat besides her, talking about the Splatfest.

"Shopping during the festival of the splat has been booming!" Jelonzo exclaimed proudly. "My heart is warmed by the little Inklings' tastes for the clothing."

Marie smiled at the fresh jellyfish. Despite his odd dialogue, he was quite a charming little fellow. "Glad to hear it Jelonzo."

"Well, I return to Jelly Fresh now, must count the sums of the monies! Stay fresh, Sister of the Squids!" Jelonzo waved with one of his stingers, and walked off to his store.

Marie waved back, and turned to her cousin, who was currently looking at something. "Callie? You okay?"

Callie blinked. "I think I partied a little too hard."

Marie raised an eyebrow in confusion and concerned, and looked in the same direction. All she saw was a Splatfest box, discarded in the middle of the street. Marie turned back to her cousin, and waved her gloved hand in front of her face.

"I'll say. Maybe we should get you home-"

"There! Right there, it moved!" Callie sat back and pointed, her hand shaking.

Marie turned back to the cardboard box. It was simply lying there.

"Okay, don't worry Callie. Let's get you home before you get any worse." Marie said, grabbing Callie by the hand.

She kept staring at the box, before blinking and said, "...Okay…" Callie walked away, still being dragged by Marie.

Meanwhile, two pairs of legs sprouted from under the box, and carried it away.

* * *

"Man, where is Sharq? It's almost 9 o'clock, maybe he passed out due to exhaustion again…" Splin said.

Splin was chilling at home by his bed, playing Counter-Splat: Global Inkfensive on his laptop. (I swear, sooner or later I'm gonna get sued for these references.) The Tele-Cube and Alarm Clock were lying on the bed as well, Salty still asleep on his counter bed. Of course, because the Inkternet was on the fritz and the fact that Splin lived in the mountains/hills, his ping wasn't the best, so he immediately crashed.

Splin sighed. "I'm gonna need to go into town and buy a new router."

Just then, someone knocked on the door. Splin looked to the door, and then to the Tele-Cube. The Tele-Cube had question marks all over it, signifying its confusion.

"Who would be so loony as to walk up a hill at night just to visit some random hut?" Splin asked aloud. The Alarm Clock gave a tiny beep, similar to a "Huh?".

Splin walked up to the door cautiously, and looked through the windows. A large cardboard box with a Splatfest advertisement plastered on the top of the box. Splin retreated back inside to grab a Sploosh-o-matic, opened the doors, and cautiously walked towards the box, standing straight and aiming true. Splin looked around to make sure no one was in sight, and crouched near the box, still aiming. With the utmost importance, he slowly lifted the box.

"!" Splin backed up, breathing heavily. "Thank goodness, it's just you Sharq. And… Ms. Tai I presume?"

Sharq lifted the box and tossed it to the side of the house. "'Kept you waiting, huh?"

Tai nodded. "Nice to see you too, Charger. There's no time for chit chat, this thing's about to blow."

"Err… The bathroom is under the staircase, if that's what you're asking…"

"Wha…? No! I meant this!" Tai lifted the bomb, showing that there was only 5 minutes left on the timer.

"What?! You came to eliminate us?!" Splin backed up, aiming the weapon at Tai's head.

"Again, no! Let me finish! I was just going to set this on the Hammerhead Bridge…"

Splin's finger slowly descended on the trigger. "That doesn't help your case."

"...Look, the point is, this thing is about to explode. You can help me defuse it, or I can toss it over there-" Tai pointed at the city. "To get rid of it. As well as a bunch of innocent lives."

Sharq nodded. "Splin, listen to her! She doesn't want to hurt anyone right now, she's just stressed. Besides, it was my fault the bomb got activated in the first place!"

Splin glared at Sharq, only to sigh and lower his weapon. "Okay. But after we're done, we're going to stock up on food, because we're not leaving these hills for a week. I can't risk you screwing something like this up again for awhile."

Sharq smiled. "Alright! But uh… I think we should work fast."

Predictably, the timebomb began to tick down in seconds extremely quickly. Only three minutes on the clock remained, sending the three of them into a panic. Sharq, because I don't know, picked up the timebomb and tossed it inside the house onto his bed.

"W-Wha. Why'd you do that?!" Splin asked.

"I thought we could save ourselves some time!" Sharq said in defense.

"But… Ah, forget it! Let's go and defuse this thing before we all get destroyed." Splin said, the other two nodding.

They all burst through the house doors, startling Salty. "Sorry for waking you up!" Sharq apologized. Salty didn't seem to mind too much, and hopped carefully over to the beds.

The Tele-Cube flashed red, and grew a Charger weapon to fire at the bomb. Splin slid over to his bed to calm it down. Even the Alarm Clock was acting up slightly, multiple warning chimes and beeps coming from it. Sharq and Tai quickly assessed the bomb, and looked for anyway it could be defused.

"Hey, Headphones!" Tai yelled.

"My name is Splin." Splin said back.

"Whatever! Come on, we need help with this!"

Splin walked over to the opposite bed, inspecting the bomb. "Wow, what a coincidence."

As another reference in the books, the timebomb looked very similar if not exactly the same as a C4 from Splin's game.

"How'd the Octarians come up with this design?" Splin asked Tai. She merely shrugged. "Well, if it's anything like I think it is, we're gonna need a bomb defuse expert."

Tai turned to Sharq. "I thought you said this guy could help us."

Sharq chuckled nervously. "He probably could have?" Tai sighed in exasperation.

Splin thought for a while, before he thought of something. He went over to the Tele-Cube, and whispered to it. The Tele-Cube made a few beeps and glowed, creating a set of small bags, one with a screwdriver and wire cutter attached.

Splin smiled. "Thanks Tele-Cube." The cube flashed to a GIF of a thumbs-up.

"Alright, how much time do we have left on the timer?" Splin asked.

Sharq turned. "One minute."

Splin's head drooped. "Of course we do. Step aside please, let's see what I can do."

Everyone in the room held their breath. Despite his efforts, Splin had difficulty trying to defuse the bomb. Sharq was in the corner, praying, while Tai was writing a last will and testament.

"I give my goggles to Aussie… She's been wanting new ones for a while. My room should go to Jerry…" Tai muttered.

Frustrated, Splin held his hand to his forehead. There were only 45 seconds remaining on the bomb's timer, and all Splin had managed to do was cut one wire, and all that did was make the timer lose 5 seconds.

...For what it's worth, I'd like to apologize on how everything is going so far.

"Thanks voice." Splin said, staring at the bomb. He continued to inspect the bomb, getting an idea. "Well… There's only a small chance. But any chance is better than nothing."

Splin took the bomb, and ran out of the house. Sharq and Tai stopped their depressing last words, and took off after him.

He ran with the bomb, towards the bottom of the hill, and began to dig, pulling out loose piles of dirt, and placing the bomb in the hole. He began to inspect the bomb, and attempted to defuse there.

"Splin, have you lost it?!" Tai yelled out.

Splin turned and yelled back, "Slightly! If I can't defuse the bomb, we could detonate it here and prevent major bloodshed!"

Sharq thought it over. "Alright, well hop to it! We only have 20 seconds!"

Splin looked at the bomb. Sure enough, the time was flying by, ticking down. Splin carefully inspected the wires of the bomb, cutting quickly. So far, the bomb remained intact, the timer still counting down however. With only ten seconds left, Splin eyed the bomb, with two wires remaining, one red and one yellow. He took them in his hand, chose the red wire. Quickly snipping it with the wire cutters, he closed his eyes, prepared for an explosion. It never came. Opening his eyes carefully, he saw that the bomb, instead of a timer counting down, had a smile face made of a colon and a parentheses. Ignoring the oddly glad-to-be-alive bomb, he stood up straight and looked at both Tai and Sharq.

"Bomb has been defused." Splin smiled.

Counter-Terrorists win.

"Heh."

* * *

"Well, now that we disarmed a threat to the entire city of Inkopolis without anyone knowing, what's your plan now Tai?" Splin asked.

Tai fidgeted at the kitchen counter. She was asked to stay for the night, and considering the absolutely awful turn of events that life had in mind for her, she gladly accepted. She sipped on a clean mug of coffee, prepared by Sharq himself, and stared at the shiny counter-top. "If you don't mind… I think I'd like to hang out here for a while. It'd be pretty embarrassing for me to go back now, if you would understand."

Splin nodded slightly, and walked over to the kitchen. He ducked his head and opened up a compartment underneath the counters, and pulled out a mattress.

"What the?! You guys keep a spare mattress under your kitchen counter?" Tai asked.

"Well, yeah. Mom told us that if we'd ever have guests who were too wiped out to go home, we should help 'em out, give 'em a place to stay for the night, right?" Sharq turned to Splin, who nodded in response.

"Yep." Splin crouched once again, and pulled out multiple blankets and pillows. Tai could only watch in surprise. "Sharq, could you give me a hand with this?"

Sharq leaped over the counter, Tai carefully holding her cup, and pulled the mass pile of comforts between the two beds and next to the dresser, and set it there, wiping their brows. Tai smiled a bit, before jumping on the mess of comforters.

"We didn't even set the bed yet!" Splin groaned.

"Nah, it's cool. I live in pretty messy spaces anyways." Tai waved to the boys. "Oyasuminasai." With that being said, Tai tossed her goggles on the dresser, and immediately fell asleep.

Splin couldn't believe someone could fall asleep that fast. Turning to Sharq to ask what he thought, he was already in a slumber, arm slightly off his bed. Splin sighed, and walked to his bunk, slowly drifting out of consciousness and off to Dream Land 64, awaiting the next adventure to come.

* * *

"Sir, T-41 still hasn't returned from her mission. Permission to send out a scout to find her?" An older Octoling asked, a special tiara of kelp surrounding her head, signifying her dominance over the other troops.

DJ Octavio didn't speak, looking at a map of the domes. All of the Zapfish had been taken away, along with multiple Octarian forces respawning, albeit slowly due to lack of power. The Great Zapfish was the only thing keeping them alive, charging the respawn points, thirty seconds per soldier. The secret camera situated above the Hammerhead Bridge picked up nothing out of the ordinary, simply the bridge. Octavio kept silent in sadness, finally speaking up. "...No."

"W-What? Sir, with all due respect, she hasn't returned in the time window she was supposed to. She could be in great danger, captured, or even worse!" The Octoling exclaimed.

DJ Octavio turned to the Octoling. "4U55-13, you know that girl as well as I do. When she's gone for a long time, she's usually off doing something crazy and stupid. But always comes back in one piece."

"No way!" A voice yelled out. An Octocopter troop came flying in, agitated. "Tai wouldn't be gone that long, she's usually back by dinnertime! Sir, me and Aussie should be out there finding her!"

"J3r-ry, shush!" Aussie scolded the Octocopter.

"I hate to interrupt…" The elderly Octosniper from earlier entered. "But Agent 3 is coming for the Great Zapfish and the Cap'n."

Octavio looked at the screen, where Cap'n Cuttlefish was shown snoring on a platform, tied up, unaware of his current situation. The Great Zapfish and a smaller version of it yelling, "Shockwhisk!", were suspended over a series of metal pipes and platforms.

Octavio sighed. "Ready the troops to defend the Great Zapfish, I'll go and help them out."

Jerry flew in front of Octavio, blocking his path slightly. "You never answered the question!" He shouted, small tears coming out of his eyes. "Tai may be kinda lazy and rebellious, but she's still our friend. YOUR friend. Now you can give us all these orders, but if you don't let us leave now, we're never going to listen to you again, sir."

Octavio slowly closed his eyes. "Aussie, is this how you feel as well?" The Octoling's goggles eyelids slowly closed, and the Octoling nodded. "Alright. You two find Tai and bring her butt back here, I'll be defending the Zapfish from those slimy hipsters."

Jerry and Aussie looked at each other and nodded. Jerry wiped away some tears with his tail, saying, "W-We won't let you or T-41 down!" Aussie grabbed onto Jerry's tail, and they flew away towards the surface world.

Octavio smiled sadly, staring at a small photograph of an Octoling male wearing a samurai helmet sitting next to an Inkling male wearing a captain hat, the two looking like good friends. _"Not all Inklings are evil. None of us are. Tai, let's hope you ended up with the good tracks instead of the bootlegs."_

* * *

AN 2: Episode 2: When it comes to writing offical character dialogue, I think I have a bit of trouble with that. Sorry if this chapter comes off as more serious than you'd like it to be. Thanks again to sebastian830 for reviewing this story! I apologize again that I couldn't use your idea, I couldn't find a great use for it, so, Entschuldigen Sie bitte. (I should probably take language classes, I meant to say something along the lines of "sorry" in German, so double-apologies if I butchered that.) Thanks again from the bottom of my heart to everyone who reads my story, I know you all probably have busy lives, so it makes me glad to know that people can take time out of their lives for a little something stupid. Anyways, thanks again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, lemme see if I can finish a chapter for a TF2 story later. See you next time!


	13. The Brothers and the Filler Breakfast

AN: Kinda Serious This Time Around: Sorry to all of the viewers of this story. Recently, I've been going through a huge increase in workloads and other stuff to do. Meaning, I will have less time to work on the story, so I apologize ahead of time. I will break this chapter up into two parts because of writer's block and workloads, so please bear with me. Also, sebastian830, I wasn't too sure how to implement a cameo, so I'll just try to input it in the next chapter, alright? Apologies again for the bad translation. I'll see what I can do, but in the meantime, enjoy (or dislike) this chapter as always.

* * *

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Waking Up To A Surprise Visit**

Stretching her arms up with a yawn, Tai rose from her makeshift bed, really just a pile of comforters tossed around at this point, waking up from her impromptu visit. She paused mid-stretch suddenly, detecting an odor in the air.

"Sharq you're burning the eggs!" Splin cried out.

If she wasn't completely awake before, she was now. Eyes wide, she jumped up from the mattress, accidentally dropping her goggles in the process, and scanned the area for any threats. The only thing she saw that could pose a huge threat right now was probably only Sharq's cooking. Over at the kitchen, Sharq was fumbling around with two eggs in a pan while Splin was carefully watching over him and a waffle iron.

"Sorry!" Sharq yelled back, flipping the seemingly crisp eggs over, where the bottom white was swapped out with a charred black, and small egg shell fragments were lodged inside.

"Cooking up something for me? Aw… Arigato Inklings. Although you probably could've mentioned that they would be more... Crunchy than usual." Tai said, pointing to Sharq's masterpiece creation.

Sharq sighed. "I'll just make some bacon…" He turned and walked to the refrigerator, only to be stopped by a hovering Tele-Cube and Salty, both shaking back and forth as if to say, "No". Sharq stared back at the eggs, and nodded, opting to sit at the counter instead.

Splin sighed and walked over to the pan, turning around to see a group of hungry sea creatures (and cube) sitting at the counters patiently, blinking in disbelief. "One's company, two's a crowd, three's a party… What do I call this?"

"Hungry. Now make with the waffles Splin, I gotta get back to doing what needs to be done!" Tai said, sticking her tongue out for emphasis. "These batteries don't get charged on sleep alone!" Sharq nodded in enthusiastic agreement.

Splin sighed, before attending to the food. Sharq hopped over the counter next to the stove, and lifted the eggs carefully out of the pan using a nearby spatula onto a plate, and bit on the crunchy burnt food. Splin and Tai stared at him, causing him to stop.

"Wha? Don't knock it 'til you try it." Sharq mumbled with the burnt eggs in his mouth. Splin rolled his eyes, and went back to preparing foods.

* * *

"You sure she's in here 4U55-13?" Jerry asked.

"J3r-ry, of course I'm sure. We linked our goggles together in case of something like this happening, unless she threw them in there, which even T-41 wouldn't do." Aussie said, peering through the bush at the small abode.

Scanning the inside of the house using the small windows, she spotted a certain headphone sporting Inkling walk by with a plate of waffles, bacon, and eggs, struggling to balance the plateful of food.

"Typical Inklings, they always bite off more than-"

A couple of seconds passed, crumbs flying everywhere, and the headphone Inkling walked back into sight, looking down at the ground tiredly.

"Oh. I pity the poor guy who has to clean that up." Aussie cringed at the sight of crumbs everywhere.

The same Inkling came back with a small broom and a dustpan, and a slightly agitated face, and began sweeping some of the crumbs up. Aussie blinked. Two other figures came into sight, an Inkling wearing a cap and a satisfied expression, and a familiar Octoling mirroring his face.

"That's Tai!" Jerry shouted, rustling the bushes they used as cover.

"What? How? Oh, I get it… Tai has taken those Inklings hostage and is eating on their tab!" Aussie snapped her fingers. "Clever Tai."

Aussie looked over at Jerry, but he was nowhere to be seen. Looking back at the house, she lowered her goggles slightly, seeing Jerry hovering over to the house, and knocking on the door. Freaking out, she sprinted towards the house, hoping to stop him before he made things go sour, tackling him through the doors, onto the floor of the house. Landing roughly on the wooden floor, the Octarian duo looked up, straight into the glaring face of Tai.

* * *

Needless to say, Tai was not expecting her two fellow comrades/friends to bash through the doors of her cozy shelter provided from the two "good" Inklings. Normally she would be glad, or even laughing her butt off at the sight of the two of them crashing in, but considering her situation, she couldn't help but frown.

"Aussie, Jerry." Tai acknowledged them, walking towards them slowly.

"Oh no." Jerry shivered, slowly hopping away using his tiny Octo-feet.

"T-41, w-we can talk about this." Aussie backed up, still sitting on the floor.

Tai blocked the door, running towards it and slamming them shut, quickly turning back and grabbing her two Octarian peers by their equipment.

"Now, you came in for a visit. That's sweet of you two, but…" Tai leaned in closer. "You couldn't have come at a worse time." Tai pointed at the surprised Inklings, slowly walking away. "You two, stay, we're not done yet." Splin halted, Sharq bumping into him.

"W-We were worried. T-41, you left by yourself with a bomb capable of destroying cities, and you expect us not to try and look for you when you went missing? That's just crazy." Aussie said. Tai stared at her with a look that could pierce your soul, before sighing.

"You know what, fine. Thanks for looking for me, now you can go." Tai waved them off, only for Jerry to float up to her.

"H-Hold on! Tai, I'm hungry, we stayed up all night going across Inkopolis looking for you! I had to hide next to what these Inklings call, 'The Halibut' for a while to get some of the heat off my tail. They had soooooo many yummy smells coming out from there…" Jerry said, drooling slightly.

"You stayed next to The Halibut?! Man, I love that place!" Sharq smiled.

Jerry's eyes lit up. "Ooh! Maybe you could take us sometime?"

"I can see someone's already made a new friend." Splin stated, staring at the two.

Aussie looked over at Splin. "Inkling, quiet! This is official Octoling business, I wouldn't expect the likes of you to-" Aussie froze when Tai glared in her direction once again.

"These two are cool, Aus. No need to bother them. Besides, if they were like the 'other' Inklings…" Tai simulated a gunshot using her fingers. "I'd be dead."

Aussie looked at Tai for a while, relaxing. "...I'm still going to be cautious, would rather die in the battlefield than to a lowly surprise attack from the likes of you." Splin backed up, holding his arms up peacefully.

"So, I assume you two want me to come back to base, right?" Tai asked Jerry and Aussie, who said, "Yes" in response. Tai looked down at the floor, before speaking up, "Fine. I'll make sure to get back to Octavio and give him a piece of my mind. But first…" Tai turned to Splin. "Splin, could you be a dear and cook up more waffles for my two allies over here?"

Splin's eye twitched, and he threw his hands up into the air in exasperation. "It's always gotta be me, isn't it?" He walked back to the waffle iron, pouring batter into the machine and pressing down, ensuring fluffy tan waffles for the new guests, who were now eagerly awaiting their new breakfast.

Aussie sat at the counter, next to Tai.

"Hmm..." Tai murmured.

"What is it T-41?" Aussie asked.

"Aussie, we're not hooked up to machines listening to us on the air, you don't have to call me using that ridiculous codename."

"I just wonder how we're going to go through Inkopolis undetected. J3r-ry... I mean, Jerry and I had issues even at nighttime."

Sharq popped up in between the two young Octopus women. "I think I know a way..." Sharq grinned, only to get slapped by Aussie.

"I didn't say anything like that!" She yelled.

"Ow! No, I meant I think I know how to go through without getting spotted. And will you people stop slapping me?!" Sharq exclaimed.

This girl isn't very nice I can tell.

"You're telling me!" Sharq yelled at the ceiling.

Tai giggled, while Aussie stared at Sharq like he was mental.

"Right... Well what did you have in mind, Inkling?" Aussie asked, moving her seat back.

Sharq grinned. "Name's Sharq, other Inkling is my brother Splin, now you know."

"I didn't know you two were related, but okay." Tai shrugged.

"Anyways... I think I have a plan..." Sharq stared over at the Tele-Cube, which began to glow.

* * *

DJ Octavio grunted. Agent 3 was tough. The agent had already beaten him back two times, and the Squid Sisters backing him up using their song wasn't helping. He had barely kept the Inkling Agents away, along with the help of other Octarian forces. Octolings and Octotroops alike were thrown into the mix, but were ultimately stopped and/or splatted by other agents backing him up. Octavio fired a giant missile at the group of Inklings, who retaliated by sending the missile back. The battle quickly became a ping-pong game, the two sides of Inkling and Octarian battling to keep the missile away.

Finally, the Octarians slipped up. The Inkling garbed in Hero Armor fired a clear shot at the large projectile and the missile was sent barreling towards Octavio. He sighed.

" _Cross-fade into black…"_ He thought, the rocket slamming into the robot and sending Octavio towards the Inklings, who were taking careful aim.

* * *

AN: The Boredom Hurts: Sorry: This chapter wasn't too eventful, but I have to put something out there to bridge the next chapter I'm working on. I'll try to make the next one better, I swear. Until then, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, love you guys for sticking with me! :3


	14. The Brothers and the Peace Offering

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **A Peace Offering**

Splin, Sharq, Tai, Aussie, and Jerry were all sneaking quietly through Inkopolis, wearing a huge cardboard box as their cover, looking like the most ingenious plan ever devised if I say so myself. Accompanying them were the Tele-Cube and Salty, also hiding in the box. So far, they had managed to walk past the hills Splin and Sharq called home, into the city, past the businesses and apartments, and were now closing in on the plaza.

"I'm surprised you Inklings have technology that can create anything out of thin air." Aussie admitted, lightly pressing against the side of the box. "But I'm concerned that this box disguise will ultimately fail."

Tai responded saying, "Relax, Aus. It worked the first couple of times, no one's gonna-"

"What the…?" Someone said.

The group froze, and all crouched as squids and octopi. Jerry really couldn't do much but crouch, but thanks to his already small stature, he managed to squish himself to a similar size to the young cephalopods. Same with the Tele-Cube and Salty, they just stuck to the ground like glue. Carefully lifting the bottom of the box, Aussie peered out, noticing a group of Inklings in the main plaza, seemingly looking in their direction. She slid back inside, huddling close to Tai. Tai reverted to humanoid form, and slid her goggles on, loading her Octoshot up. Slowly, they opened up the top flap of the box like a feature in a pretty awesome stealth game, and looked around, everyone holding their respective weapons, yes, Sharq had his Strange Krak-On Roller with the odometer. Oddly though, no one seemed to notice, and the Inkling that was surprised was actually referring to the Inkopolis News broadcast.

Callie and Marie were live onscreen, discussing the Splatfest results.

"Art currently has the lead in popularity points, so let's go to the skill points and see how well you all did!" Callie fist pumped for the 100th time on the news, that's literally her most used pose next to the "Stay fresh" pose.

"Alright." Marie said, not liking the results so far.

"Wait for it…" The two cousins said together, as the skill results totaled. The results were labeled onscreen, Callie and Marie sounding it off with a simultaneous, "Boom!"

"Aww, yeah!" Callie said smiling.

"Dang…" Marie hunched over.

The results were totaled, Art getting a 51% score, Science getting a 49% score, duplicates to the amount of popularity surprisingly.

"So that means, the winner of this Splatfest is…" Callie said, still smiling… "Team Art!"

"Nooo…" Marie said, defeated.

"Good work all you artists out there!" Callie beamed.

(I don't remember all of the Splatfest dialogue, ugh…)

"You only won because us scientists have jobs to do." Marie sassed.

"Ouch. That was uncalled for…" Callie stated distressed.

Marie snickered. "And now, we wait." She whispered to her fellow Squid Sister, who stared at her.

"What have you done Marie…" Callie whispered back.

Splin, who was watching the display, facepalmed again, knowing what would happen next. "Guys, cover your ears."

Sharq nodded, pulling his cap down and ducking back inside the box. Tai followed suit, albeit a little confused. Aussie and Jerry stared at Splin strangely, with Splin looking back at them worryingly. They stared at each other, before deciding that this would probably be for the best. Splin plugged his headphones into his phone he brought along with him, turning it up very high on the volume scale. As if on cue, a chorus of people watching once again went nuts over the bunsen burn, Inklings on both sides laughing their butts off. Even our heroes/villains in the box began to chuckle, before realizing that this was the distraction they've been waiting for.

"Let's go while they're still chuckling!" Splin said, the other nodding. They all hopped back into the box, closing the top cover, and ran to the manhole, kicking it open, and falling through, sliding down in a box sled. While everyone was laughing and cheering over the sassy Inkling, a certain feline was awakened, surveying the area.

"Mrow? ...Mew. (Wha? Oh. It's just Marie sassing again." Judd murmured, falling back asleep.

* * *

They finally arrived in Octo Valley, all with a thud. They still held onto their weapons, Jerry pivoting his head cannon, Aussie and Tai holding Octoshots in a synchronized squad formation, Splin cocking his Forge Splattershot Pro, Sharq raising his Krak-On Roller over his head, the Tele-Cube and Snail ready to ram into anything that moved. However, the entirety of Octo Valley seemed empty. The group surveyed the area, eventually deciding to walk forward. What was different about the area was that the kettles serving as entrances to the levels all had stickers of squids on them. They traversed through the hub world, finally reaching the final area before the floating UFO boss kettle. Suddenly, a kettle shook nearby, and out popped a pair of Octolings.

"L-33! 7-00! Are you two okay?" Aussie asked, walking towards them to help them out.

L-33 gasped for breath, Aussie pulling her and 7-00 up carefully. "J-Just barely… Most of our Splatoon was wiped out by- WATCH OUT!" L-33 and 7-00 quickly reached for their Octoshots, but were stopped by Tai.

"Lee, Ovan! You two alright?!" Tai ran over, and gave the two kelp-wearing Octolings a hand.

"T-There's no time for that, T-41! There happens to be two of our enemies-" Ova began, before Tai shushed him.

"These two? They're fine." Tai gestured to the brothers, who waved shyly. Splin coughed, putting away his weapon, nudging Sharq as well, who nodded and threw his Roller to the side. Lee narrowed her eyes, and Ova lowered herself back into the kettle.

"They're our prisoners." Aussie stated calmly. Tai glared at her again, but soon gave up, and nodded slowly. Lee and Ova hopped out, the two Octoling females glad to see that they weren't worthless killing machines bent on destroying them.

"Wait, why would they have weapons?"

Splin looked at the sky for a second, then said, "Err, guardian slaves of sorts. They captured us and saved our lives, so now we work for them. Right Sharq?" Splin poked his brother, who smiled.

"Yep! To protect and serve I always say!" Sharq paused, then leaned in to whisper by Splin, "I never say that! I think we fooled 'em." Splin began to sweat a little, ready to run if this went sour. However, the other Octolings stood up and clapped slightly.

"Well done T-41! We got allies from their side!" Ova cheered, Lee smiling as well.

"Did that actually just work?" Tai whispered to the others. Jerry just nodded, his body moving up and down with each nod.

Aussie simply stared. "I think the work has cooked their heads."

"Alright, 4U55, T-41, let's go. He's waiting for you guys to return." Lee said, leading the group away.

"What about me?!" Jerry spoke up.

"Right, sorry J3." Lee lead everybody away, to a kettle placed out of sight beneath a tower of discarded materials, jumping through. Ova and Jerry followed, Aussie keeping a watchful eye over the Inklings before she too descended into the kettle.

Splin eyed the kettle carefully. "How do we know they aren't going to splat us as soon as we jump down?"

"You don't have too much of a choice, do you?" Tai said, acting sweet.

Splin sighed, before leaping in as a squid. Sharq gulped, also jumping in. Tai followed, a small cover slid under the grates of the kettle as she did. As they slid down the hole leading to the heart of the Octarian forces, Sharq's eyes widened.

"Splin, where's Salty and the Cube?" Sharq asked.

Sorry I forgot to write them in.

Splin checked his pockets, and sure enough, the two small yet dangerous pair of a cube and a snail were stowing away inside.

"Thanks for reminding me Sharq, as well as you voice." Splin said.

Yeah, let's go with that. You're welcome.

The whole lot of them landed onto a cold steel floor, dim lights barely illuminating the area around them.

"Wait… Isn't this the meeting room? Yeesh, this place has been trashed worse since I've left." Tai said, examining the tables. Debris and rubble littered the floor.

"Yeah, well if the main power source is taken away, we're gonna have some problems." Ova said sadly.

"Wait, what?!" Aussie exclaimed. "The Great Zapfish is gone?! What about our defenses, our plans?! Our LEADER?"

Lee sighed. "Didn't work. There were too many Inklings, and they were too experienced. After those Squid Sisters hijacked the radio, we might as well have been dancing to our deaths. As for DJ Octavio…" Lee went silent.

"What? Did those Inklings kill Octavio?!" Tai asked.

"No, they took them back to their base. I can only imagine the horrors he will be subjected to…"

* * *

Octavio was a DJ, and a proud one at that. Any parties, celebrations, birthdays, or any matter of relaxation was a gift from above for the Octarian forces, who always eagerly looked forward to the sick beats that their leader would put out for them. Octavio was a proud DJ, looking forward to any matter of festivities. However, there is an exception for being trapped in a snowglobe while a bunch of Inklings party in front of them. Placed inside the Squid Sisters' studio, the Inklings outside were partying because the Great Zapfish returned, unaware of the work behind it.

"Hey, chill Octojerk! Now that we got the Great Zapfish back, there's no need to be such a downer!" An Inkling Agent Girl said, shooting at the snowglobe.

Octavio sighed, shielding himself to the ink splatters across the glass. The girl giggled, and walked away to her other friends celebrating under the tune of the Squid Sisters.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this." Octavio looked to his right, where Cap'n Cuttlefish was sitting, watching the Inklings waltz around.

Octavio sighed. "Cuttlefish, you know well that this was the only option I could've taken. Can't feed my people without a light to watch the food, or lights at all. We've been hit hard for months, running out of supplies, and materials. Mixing tapes and scratching records will only keep them happy despite their hunger for so long. So I had to."

Cap'n Cuttlefish looked down. "Couldn't ye have asked?"

"So I can get shot in the tentacle as soon as I enter Inkopolis? The war must've had a bigger effect on your brain than I thought!"

The two chuckled slowly, before they went silent once again. Octavio put one of his sucker on his head and one on the glass, thinking. _"Hope those kids are alright."_

* * *

The rooms of the Octarian forces were in just as bad condition as the main briefing rooms were, lamps and ceiling lights blown out. Splin observed the Octarian survivors with a look of pity, which was usually answered with a glare.

"The Zapfish must have powered more than we had initially thought, huh Sharq?" Splin asked his brother, who nodded at the melancholy scene.

"I feel awful man. We practically helped kill off another species!" Sharq said. The Octarian forces nearby glared even more so after hearing that.

"Eh, don't worry too much about it." Tai said. "We all knew what we were getting into the second we decided to follow Octavio, now we're just paying the price."

"Here we are." Lee said quietly.

The group stopped in front of a giant room, filled with chairs, a stage, a couple tables, even a bar of sorts. There was an open space in the middle, and a stage at the front of the room where everybody could see. There were even multiple upper levels overlooking the area, but they were also in disrepair. In the back, there was a small outlet, as well as a wide pen.

"Welcome to the rec room Inklings." Ova stated proudly.

"WHOA. This is your guys' rec room?! We could throw a killer party for literally everyone here if we wanted to!" Sharq exclaimed, hopping around the place to examine it.

"That's the idea." Aussie smiled slightly. "When Octavio thinks we're losing moral, he brings us all here. The pen in the back was where we kept the Zapfish at first, but then you guys came along."

"Oh." Splin looked around. "Apologies… Didn't think ahead on that one."

"...Wait. Inklings can apologize?" Ova's eyes lit up.

Splin deadpanned. "Very funny." Splin stated, before Lee and Ovas' eyes went to him and Sharq in bewilderment. "Wait, you're serious?"

"Well, yeah! We always thought that Inklings were cold-hearted criminals who always robbed from us!" Ova said. "You guys are the best prisoners we've ever had!"

Splin looked at Sharq, who shrugged in response. "Uh… Well, we can't really speak on behalf of our entire species, but… Yeah." Splin awkwardly said, and shuffled away to one of the seats. Sharq followed, sitting down next to him.

"Dude, these people are suffering because of dumb stuff we and other Inklings did." Sharq whispered. "Plus, they've never heard an apology from an Inkling before?! That's messed up."

Splin sighed. "I don't think there is much we can do Sharq. After all, we are in a bit of a hostage situation. The agents captured their leader, and in turn they capture us? Two people who didn't even want to get wrapped up into this in the first place? Pretty uneven sides. These people aren't getting any better either, all of their tech is beginning to deteriorate from lack of power, and we're to blame for THIS." Splin gestured to the entire room.

"We've come back from worse." Tai took a seat at the table. "I mean, the Great Turf Wars weren't any better, the guy who forgot to plug in the Great Octoweapons was an idiot, but other than him we managed pretty well by ourselves, until the power ran out."

A spotlight from above smashed into the table, sending the three of them rolling back.

"Yep, the same thing happened the last time we lost electricity!" Tai shouted.

"Hmm… So wait, all of the things that are going wrong are just because of electrical problems?" Splin asked.

"Only some. Now that the Inklings have beaten us back, all we can do now is stock up on the little supplies we have and hope for the best." Aussie joined in. "We've sent scouts out to look for food, clothing, anything, but most of them have been splatted or come back empty-handed. The respawn points we have here also run on electricity, which mean that unless we get the power back on…" Aussie's head drooped.

A melancholy silence continued, the only sounds heard were the pieces of the room falling or Octarian forces limping through the halls.

Hmm. Splin, Sharq, these people are in one heck of a pickle, I'd say.

Splin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we've been saying that for the past three minutes."

Well then, think. What would you do in this situation?

Splin held his hand to his head. Digging into his pocket, he took out the Tele-Cube, which rotated gently. He reached into his other pocket and took out Salty, who hopped onto the table, staring at Splin wonderingly. Splin's eyes lit up, and he stood up from the table.

"Guys, I think I have an idea..."

* * *

"Transporting supplies from Inkopolis? That's suicide Inkling, you could get yourself banned from the city or worse. Besides, we can manage by ourselves." The elderly Octosniper at the head of the table said.

The survivors of the final boss battle as well as our heroes were situated at the large briefing room table, discussing plans.

"General Masa, with all due respect, you're an idiot if you think we can live on stale bread rations and all this other stuff." Tai blurted out.

"T-41, it is General M-45-4. We can do just FINE without these Inkling's help. If anything, they'll make it worse."

"Hey!" Sharq exclaimed. "Come on, we're just trying to lend a tentacle here. Your base is literally falling apart as we speak."

A piece of shrapnel dropped and pierced the middle of the table.

"See?! Look man, we can either try to help you out, or we could go right now and let you starve. We're just trying to help." Sharq said.

Masa gingerly lifted an old tentacle up to his chin, or face or wherever the Octarians' equivalent of a chin would be, before finally speaking, "...I do not like this plan. I especially don't like the idea of letting these Inklings go, knowing our location. But as I see no other option, considering the state of our forces, your request in granted. T-41, you will accompany these two as they gather supplies, and will report back to base. Understand?"

Tai grinned. "Alright, finally some action!" She saluted the general, and turned to Splin and Sharq. "How are we gonna do this?"

Splin motioned, and the Tele-Cube flew over with a small, detailed map. "Here's the idea…"

* * *

Splin, Sharq, and Tai all peered out of the manhole as cephalopods. The Inklings were all partying in the plaza, still celebrating a victory. Splin crawled out slowly, and motioned to the two, lifting a giant box. Sharq leaped out, with a smaller box, and looked to Tai, who simply rolled her eyes. She hopped into the box as an Octopus, Sharq closing it quickly. The two brothers inconspicuously (for real this time) made their way through the crowd, into Jelly Fresh.

"Hello, welcome to Jelly Fresh!" Jelonzo charismatically greeted the two.

"Hi Jelonzo, we're actually here on a special request." Splin said.

"Ah, a request? What is the special request you would ask of me?" Jelonzo asked.

"We need to buy ALL the clothes!" Sharq said.

An awkward silence followed.

"...I am confused. There are only two of you, yes? Why would you need the bundles of clothes for the two bodies?" Jelonzo grew curious.

"...Err. Fashion donations…?" Splin asked hopefully.

Luckily for him, Jelonzo bought it. "Ah, this is the most noble request! Buying clothes for the ones who need the fresh? Perfect! All of the clothes in the store, yes?"

Splin and Sharq nodded. "That will be 3,000,000 coins!"

Okay that's bullshrimp, (excuse my language) lemme just uh… do this.

A small brick landed on Jelonzo, knocking him out cold. Splin and Sharq stared at the absurdity that happened, Tai poking her head out of the box in bewilderment.

What? You guys weren't seriously gonna grind for days just so you could buy all of those clothes, were you?

Tai shrugged. "Works for me."

* * *

The two Inkling brothers were now pushing a giant box through the plaza full of supplies after going from place to place, getting stuff. They felt guilty for Jelonzo, so they dropped a small pile of coins in the tip jar, along with a, "Get Well Soon" card with a jellyfish on the cover. They had managed to get clothing, food, and other stuff for the dying Octarians, now all they needed was a source of electricity. They received some weird looks from other Inklings, but were for the most part ignored.

"Where are we gonna find something that generates electricity? All the Zapfish are locked away, and there's no way we can keep it lit forever with just batteries." Splin wondered out loud.

"Hmm… Hey wait, wasn't there another Great Zapfish? I think I remember seeing one earlier…" Tai said, still concealed in the box.

"Oh yeah! Shockwhisk! He doesn't mind the domes or Octarians as much since he became… Shockwhisk." Sharq said.

"Well, where is he?" Splin asked, when a bump noise could be heard.

Looking up at the Squid Sisters' studio, they could see a certain electrical catfish jumping around inside, much to the enjoyment of Callie, and the slight annoyance of Marie.

"Wow, he's hanging out with stars? Shockwhisk is getting really popular." Sharq said.

"There's no time to lose! We gotta find a way to get in there and get it out!" Tai said.

"How? Those two are celebrities, they probably have some huge security in there."

Marie could be seen sighing, before she walked out of the studio. Callie followed suit, leaving Shockwhisk behind. The lights went off, and the Inklings in the plaza began to call it a night.

"This is our chance!"

Splin and Sharq ran towards the studio, Tai still in the box, when a cocky voice rang out.

"Well well well! What do we have here?"

"This was literally the worst time possible." Splin cringed, spinning around to see Ari and his crew.

"You two may have showed me up twice now with that win and siccing the Orange team on us, but no more!" Ari shouted, the females joining in with a chant of, "That's right!" Ari cleared his throat. "I challenge you two to- HEY!"

Splin and Sharq ran away, pushing the heavy box as they did.

"Sorry, we have no time!" Sharq yelled back.

Two chapters of Ari is enough, let's pretend he's not in this one.

"I'll get my comeuppance some day!" Ari shouted.

"Who was that?" Tai asked, poking her little Octopus head out of the box again.

"Ari. I think he's still salty over all the stuff we did. We'll talk about it some other time, right now this is the more important issue." Splin explained. Tai nodded, and lowered herself back into the box.

The Bate Brothers were behind the studio building, all of the employees leaving work to go home and sleep, (kinda like I've been doing when I should have been writing this) leaving the three of them to the studio. Quietly entering the lobby, they made their way up the building upstairs to the studio, where Shockwhisk was lying peacefully. The three of them snuck behind it, and gently tapped Shockwhisk. Waking up, the Shockwhisk looked at them, then began to hop around happily.

"Shock-"

"Not now Shockwhisk, we gotta go!" Sharq exclaimed.

Shockwhisk stood there for a while, a little confused. Suddenly, it coiled up, and launched itself out the door they had entered to get to the studio.

"..." Splin stood in silence, before bolting out the door after it. Looking around, he noticed Shockwhisk bounding into a room. He entered the room, looking around. It was a lounge, small yet comfortable. Splin began to examine the room for signs of the Shockwhisk, until he heard a crackling sound. The Shockwhisk was sitting by a strange orb, static flickering off its whiskers.

"...Ugh. Back for more, Inklings? Huh. Here I thought it would be over." A voice said from the orb.

Splin looked into the orb, and found DJ Octavio himself trapped inside! His eyes widened, and he called out for help. "Sharq, Tai, get over here!"

"What's up? You find Sho-" Tai stopped abruptly. "Octavio?!"

"Nice to see you too, Tai." Octavio said.

"We need to get you outta here, we've already gathered supplies for the Octarians!" Tai exclaimed.

"What happened to the Octarians?" Octavio asked. He was answered with a silence. "...Alright. Bring me back, there's a lot of dirty records I need to clean. They probably need their leader more than ever, huh?"

Tai put her hand on her cheek. "Always gotta be so egotistical."

Octavio chuckled.

* * *

The three of them were now outside the back of the building, pushing a huge box full of supplies, Shockwhisk accompanying them, with Tai outside of her box to push Octavio home. It was relatively late at night, so hopefully they don't have to get into any unnecessary conflict scenes.

"There's the manhole!" Sharq pointed ahead at the plaza, which was now empty.

Splin nodded. "Great! Now, all we gotta do now is push all this stuff to-"

"Um."

The entire group slowly turned, and spotted a certain anemone and clownfish standing by the Cooler Heads, the former just putting up a closed sign. She was staring in bewilderment at the group, frozen in place.

Splin waved. "Uh… Hi Annie. We're just um… This isn't what it… Ah nevermind, guys, run."

"I'M CALLING THE COPS!" The clownfish yelled.

"Come on Moe! We bought the hats!" Sharq said exasperated.

"Screw this, let's go!" Tai said, shoving DJ Octavio's snowglobe into the manhole, where it surprisingly fit and started to fall. The box was next, the two brothers pushing it in quickly.

"Hey! Stop!" A voice rang out. A couple of agents revealed themselves, surrounding the three.

"Agents A and B, what are you two doing?!" Agent 2 asked.

Splin closed his eyes for a second. "Doing the right thing! Sorry guys… Please understand, we're doing this to help." Splin pushed Tai and Sharq over to the grates, where they dropped down.

The agents began to advance towards the manhole, only to be stopped by someone yelling out, "Wait."

Cap'n Cuttlefish slowly walked to the manhole, and stood there silently. "Don't go after them, agents. They're fine."

"G-Gramps? What are you talking about? They just stole the tiny Great Zapfish and DJ Octavio!" Agent 1 said, gesturing to the manhole.

"It's alright Agent 1. Buckos, you can go home now. I'll handle this." Cap'n Cuttlefish slowly walked to the manhole and slid down.

"...Has gramps gone insane?!" Agent 1 exclaimed, running after him.

"No more crabby cakes for him." Agent 2 said, following Agent 1.

* * *

Splin was currently pushing in all of the supplies possible, carefully making sure that the Octarian forces in the kettle below received them without a hitch. Sharq was below, escorting Shockwhisk to his little kennel, Tai helping out the survivors by giving around food. All he had to do now was get Octavio in the kettle.

"What convinced you to go after an old DJ like me, anyway?" Octavio asked. "Threats? Rewards? Why?"

Splin turned to Octavio. "Just didn't think it was fair."

Octavio scoffed. "Pity? That's a new one."

"I know you aren't the biggest fan of Inklings, but we're glad we helped a bit." Splin said. Octavio sat there in silence for awhile, until Splin began to push him into the kettle.

"Alright, let's get you back to the throne." Splin said.

"Agent B?"

Splin turned around, and saw Cap'n Cuttlefish, as well as the two Agents 1 and 2.

"Look, I don't want anymore bloodshed. I'm just helping them out. If you want to arrest me, interrogate me, fine. But if you're here to hurt anyone…" Splin brandished an Inkbrush at the three, pointing defensively with it. "We're going to have a huge issue."

"Bucko, calm down. I came here with these two to apologize." Cap'n Cuttlefish raised his hand in a peaceful manner.

"Hmph." Octavio grunted.

Agent 1 and 2 removed their headgear, and it was revealed to Splin that they were indeed, The Squid Sisters.

Yeah I bet no one saw that coming.

"Agent B, we wanna say that… We're sorry to the Octarians." Callie stated, looking at the ground.

"Sorry… What I don't understand is, couldn't you guys have negotiated or something?" Marie said.

"...Stealing the Great Zapfish wasn't a great idea." Splin said, looking over at Octavio. "But going out there to negotiate isn't the best idea either. Other Inklings don't know much about the state of Octarians, right? So I'd bet they'd react very negatively to seeing one of the biggest threats to their way of life pop up and ask for a Zapfish or two."

Marie sighed. "Huh. Makes sense when you put it that way."

"Bucko, even if I only knew you for a few days, I'm proud to call you Agent B. No one else has decided to think like that, and help these people out. Octavio, I hope everything gets better old friend." Octavio nodded slightly. Cap'n waved, and began to walk home with the Squid Sisters.

"Hold on!" Sharq popped out of the kettle.

"What is it Agent A?" Cap'n asked.

"Uh… Could I have your autograph?" Sharq asked.

Splin facepalmed so hard, it echoed throughout the valley. Callie and Marie smiled.

"Sure, A!" Callie walked over. "What would you like signed?"

Sharq pulled out his Strange Krak-On Roller and tossed it on the ground.

"Sign it to Sharq, please!" Sharq smiled widely.

Marie rolled her eyes. "Fans."

* * *

"Arigato again, Splin and Sharq. You really outdid yourself this time!" Tai said.

The whole crew was chilling in the Rec Room of the Octarian base, DJ Octavio playing some sick beats. The whole place looked brand new, and the people were just hanging out, being fresh, and having fun. Salty was hopping around the dance floor, and the Tele-Cube was acting like a disco ball, but as a cube. Shockwhisk was dancing around in his kennel, creating electricity for all.

"Where are these Inklings I have heard so much about?" Someone asked from the crowd.

"Uh… Right here." Splin raised his hand.

An Octoling emerged from the crowd. However, unlike the other Octolings, this one had a different hairstyle, a ponytail similar to the one boy Inklings wear, two tentacles wrapped up and the other two on the back. That's the Male Octoling design I'm going for anyways, I don't know about you.

He walked up to the table, and shook both of their hands.

"Danke! I appreciate you helping us Octarians out! We'd be goners if you didn't step in!" The male Octoling said happily.

"5-3B, calm down. We're all grateful, but if you shake their hands any faster, they'd snap." Aussie said, sitting at a nearby table.

The male Octoling chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry."

"It's fine. 5-3B?" Splin inquired.

Tai cleared her throat. "Sebastian, how are things going with the respawn points?"

"T-41, come on! Use the codename please." Sebastian said. "Er, the respawn points are working great. J3r-ry is watching over it, and everyone's coming out fine!"

"Good to know." Aussie nodded in response.

"Well, it's been great to meet you two!" Sebastian said. "Auf wiedersehen!" Sebastian went back into the crowd dancing, presumably to bust out some flashy moves.

"Huh. Nice guy. Hey, how come he's the only male Octoling we've seen so far?" Splin asked.

"Eh, most male Octolings aren't allowed in the army because Octavio thought they might… 'get busy' with the females, or distract them." Tai said.

"Soooo, what's his story?" Sharq asked.

"He seemed to cooperate well with others, and not in a really sappy romantic way, he was just bursting with friendliness. Seriously, first time I meant him, he ran up to me just to shake my hand. Other male Octolings are around, but most of them are off training or hanging out with select groups." Tai explained.

"Sounds… Complicated." Sharq said.

Tai shrugged. "It's just how it has been."

Splin nodded, then suddenly the two brothers yawned at the same time.

"Do you Inklings have some sort of telepathic connection we're not aware of?" Aussie joked.

"Nah… Just tired. Hey Splin, what time is it?" Sharq looked at his brother, who was nodding off.

"...Hmm? Sorry it's… too late." Splin yawned, and face planted on the table, snoring quietly.

"Yeah, we gotta go. It was nice hanging out with you guys!" Sharq waved, and tried to lift Splin, but found that his fatigue prevented him from doing so.

Should've drank a stamina potion. Tai, you might wanna help them with this.

"I'm on it." Tai helped lift Splin, the Tele-Cube slowly following while lifting Salty. The group of them shuffled to the hills, finishing off a long overdue chapter.

* * *

ROLL CREDITS.

...I dunno, play the Splatoon credits theme or something. Thus ends the single, or should I say multiplayer campaign.

...I'm still gonna continue the story, we're not done yet!

As long as I don't get sidetracked again.

* * *

AN: Still Alive: Alright, well I apologize for this chapter, mostly the length, the time it took to get it posted, and the butchering of the official characters. I don't really think I captured their personalities the best, but oh well, when you spend your time writing the story rather than playing the game it's based on, stuff's gonna happen. I wanted to cut this chapter into multiple parts, but I thought, "No, I gotta finish this". Anyways, time to respond to reviews! Thank you again, Anon360 and sebastian830! I don't really know how you like your waffles Anon, so hopefully I wrote the waffles well enough. Also, sebastian, it's fine, if you have a headache, I'd understand. Besides, you guys don't have to review the story each time, you probably have stuff to do. Sorry if the cameo didn't come out as you had hoped sebastian, I tried. Other than that, I thank you all once again for reading this long chapter, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I have to earn money for Yoshi's Wooly World. See you next time!


	15. Splin and the Lazy Sea Creatures

Conspiracy Theory of the Day!: I've noticed that when I post a chapter in the day, a bunch of other Splatoon stories post new chapters in the same day. So, maybe if I post more, the other authors will too! Lemme just test it out…

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Lazy Sea Creatures**

Splin rose from his bed, still slightly exhausted from helping out a dying race. Wobbly stepping out of bed, he walked over to the kitchen in hopes that he would be able to cook something up to eat, only to trip over something.

"Oof!" Splin landed on the wood floor with a thud.

"You mind looking where you're going? I'm trying to sleep here." Splin looked over, and saw Tai relaxing on her usual mess of a bed, in the middle of the floor.

"Tai, what are you doing here?" Splin rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Weeeelll, when you fell asleep back at the base, I so kindly volunteered to carry you back! You looked knocked out, and it was my kind, little self that decided to help you out. Now, it was hard work carrying you up ALL those hills…"

"Okay, I get it. Thanks." Splin nodded. "You could've woken me up and asked first."

"The other Inklings would've already been in the plaza by then Splin, how am I gonna get through, have Sharq take me in a box again? Wake up and get those gears in your head churning dude!" Tai said.

"...Right. I'm just gonna make breakfast. " Splin walked over to the kitchen again, only to trip again like he was in Brawl.

"What?!" Splin faceplanted into the ground, only to immediately look up, a light bruise on his face, noticing Sharq resting on the kitchen floor, wiped out.

"WHY?" Splin lifted Sharq up, and began shaking him.

"Meh… Turn the ride off, I wanna go home..." Sharq mumbled in his sleep. Splin frowned, dragged Sharq to his bed, and tossed him on it. Sharq didn't seem to mind, and instead kept on catching Zs.

"You people need to stop sleeping on the floor, Tai we're gonna have to buy you a bed or something, and Sharq-"

Sharq snored.

"I dunno, we'll just have to talk about it when he wakes up." Splin huffed.

"That's nice Splin, I'm just gonna ignore you and go to sleep…" Tai snuggled back into her pile of comforters. "Thanks for the mattress…" Tai joined Sharq in the ever popular pastime of dreaming, lightly snoozing.

"...You people are lazy as all shell." Splin sighed. "Well, Tele-Cube, Salty, what about you guys? Want something to eat?"

Tele-Cube had a charging battery on all of its screens, and Salty was resting quietly as always in his little bed. Even the alarm clock was silent, the numbers doing nothing but beep every minute passing. Splin sat down. Normally, when he'd wake up, he'd get put into some sort of weird yet admittedly sort of fun situation with Sharq, or Tai. The only thing weird about this situation is how much these people kept sleeping.

"Well voice, looks like it's just you and-"

Can't, need to train in CS:GO. See you later Splin.

"...Actually, that's not a bad idea." Splin walked over to his bed and picked up his laptop, and began to start up… Splash? I have no good names for a Steam pun right now. Only then did he realize that the Inkternet connection was awful.

" _...Right, I'll just have to buy a new router then."_ Splin thought.

The still tiredInkling jumped over the counter towards the fridge, and began to make another not as fluffy pair of waffles.

"Breakfast. ...Actually, I'll make some more for the others."

After his short yet delicious breakfast, as well as creating a three whole stacks for his hungry companions, he went over by his again picked up the pair of Designer Headphones he always wore, and walked outside. He breathed in the fresh air for a bit, before changing to squid form, performing a super jump and leaving the lazy hills behind, not a sound to be made except the snores of the young and tired.

* * *

Splin landed on top of a building this time, overlooking Inkopolis Plaza, with a small grunt of irritation. He surveyed the area, looking for a place he could climb down safely, before he realized something. He mentally smacked himself in the head. The solo brother walked back a few paces, and sprinted towards the edge of the building, jumping down.

* * *

"Man, I can't wait to play in Arowana Mall! It's my favorite map!" A light-blue tentacled male Inkling said, walking next to his friend..

"Dude, that place is the best! Maybe we could grab a catfish burger while we're there?" His orange tentacled Inkling buddy suggested.

"Sure, I'm game-"

Suddenly, a blue tentacled Inkling with a pair of headphones dropped from the sky, and landed on the ground, rolling. Despite the high height he appeared to fall from, he appeared fine, minus a couple dirty spots and scratches.

"We DO tech those!" The headphone wearing Inkling smiled. Then he saw the couple of lunch planners, and the smile disappeared as suddenly as his entrance. "Uh, forget you saw that." He said, shaking off the dust and dashing off from the plaza.

The pair of Inklings stood in silence for awhile, before finally moving on, convinced it was some sort of illusion.

* * *

Splin was panting, looking behind him to check if the two were in pursuit. He had been running for quite some time, convinced that they were out to question him. _"Wait, there's no reason for them to follow me."_ Splin halted, waiting to catch his breath. _"Huff… I must be really bored if I'm willing to jog that far from nothing."_

He looked around. The sun beat down gently, illuminating the area ahead. The place contained a large ramp in the middle, with a pool of water surrounding it. Multiple other paths went around it, all elevated and connected with ramps. There were even a few large glass panes, with people in it. There were large billboards and advertisements plastered everywhere, and a large commercial blimp was hovering above the area. He was overlooking the place from a ledge that had a ramp below, cutting two large walls apart, Splin being on the left wall. Behind him was what appeared to be a respawn point, dimmed.

" _Arowana Mall? Hmm. Maybe I could find a router here."_

Splin looked around, and took a step forward, only for a Burst Bomb to hit the side of the wall he was on. Splin spun, and noticed a team of green colored Inklings, all armed to the beak, or teeth, whichever, and looking to splat.

"...Oh."

"You picked the wrong game to cheat in, Headphones." A green Inkling girl said, looking through her Splatterscope at Splin.

"Hang on, I'm actually-"

Of course, since only a small quarter of the Splatoon online players actually play with friendlies or are willing to stop at a harmless Inkling, the Inkling girl fired at Splin's feet, eliciting a yelp out of our poor Bate Brother, who dropped to the ground outside the green spawn. Splin got up to his feet, and began running towards the middle of the map.

Wait, this seems too familiar…

"Voice?! Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but could you help me out here?!" Splin shouted, trying to climb up the ramp in vain. He mentally cursed himself for not picking up a single weapon.

Don't worry I won't make this chapter too unintentionally similar for long.

The Green Team was slowly advancing. Attempting to Super Jump, he changed to a squid, only to find that the Turf War balance had some sort of interference on him. Splin sat down on a planter that was lodged in the ramp, and waited for his untimely demise. Or at least he did, until he was grabbed and pulled up by someone. Splin gasped in surprise, and began to scratch at the hand that abducted him.

"Ouch! Music Man, you have a funny way of repaying people for saving your life!"

Splin looked up, straight at a light-blue Retro Spec wearing Inkling, with a Krak-On Roller.

"Willie?!" Splin exclaimed.

"How you been, Splin?" Willie laughed, pulling Splin up and giving him a quick hug. "Haven't seen you around since Loudmouth Ari scammed you out of your money!"

Splin breathed a sigh of relief. "Uh, sorry Willie, it's nice to see you too, but- LOOK OUT!"

A Dynamo Roller jumped out of a path above the middle ground, only to get shot in midair. (GUNSHOT BRIDE.) Splin behind him where the shot originated from, greeted by a light-blue Sporty Bobble Hat toting female, blowing out the gun barrel on her Custom E-Liter 3K. She waved, and gave a thumbs-up to the two.

"Thank you so much, Zip!" Splin shouted in response. Zip took both of her hands and aimed them like pistols at Splin with a grin.

Green ink pellets began to fly up the ramp, signaling that it was time for Splin to make like a tree and get the leaf outta there.

Splin's expression changed to that of confusion after hearing that old phrase, shaking his head in response. "So, I'd love to catch up, but I need to get out of here before I get splatted permanently!"

"Didn't you go through the tower? Maybe it's just a weird glitch thing I've been hearing about, like Inklings pretending to be Octolings." Willie asked.

"..." Splin looked at the ground in slight embarrassment. "Actually… I just so happened to… Run all the way here."

"Well, that's good exercise man! Although I recommend that next time you don't walk into a Turf War!" Willie pushed Splin by the exit ramp. "Take that path of ink back to our spawn, we'll try to protect you!"

Splin nodded, and jumped off the opposite side of the middle ground, switching to a squid midair. Willie began to fling ink off the other side of the middle, trying to prevent the green team from advancing. Now, Splin's original plan was to swim through the light blue ink to the safety of Willie and Zip's spawn, but he landed on the ink only to find that he couldn't enter it for some reason. He pressed onto the ink, and put the ink covered hand to the top of his head, the ink leaving an odd fuzzy sensation as it trickled down, borderlining a regular friendly feel and an enemy's painful substances.

"...Oh great."

Splin was one tint short of being light blue, his tentacles still a reflection of the deep blue sea. He began to trudge through the ink slowly towards the light blue spawn. Zip noticed his plight, and jumped down into the ink below, and transformed into a Kraken. She resurfaced underneath Splin, and began carrying him back to the spawn.

"Hold on tight Splin!" She said.

She jumped over multiple ramps, Splin holding on to the long tentacles trailing behind. Once they reached the small raised platform by the spawn, Zip turned back into a normal kid, Splin falling flat due to the displacement of height.

"Unnf. That's as far as I'll take you, please get off of me." Zip said calmly.

Splin looked down, noticing that he was lying on Zip's stomach. He got off, a flustered red look on his face.

"S-Sorry Zip." Splin walked to a less covered area left of the spawn, his hands raised in defense.

Zip waved it off. "Nah, it's fine. You didn't do it on purpose, now that would've inked off Willie."

Splin's eyebrows were raised. "...Wait. You and Willie are-"

"He's the nicest guy I've met." Zip sighed a little, shaking her head. "Uh, don't tell him I said that, I'll never hear the end of that."

Splin stood up straight and nodded. "Oh, thanks again for saving my tentacles."

Zip smiled. "Always with the politeness, huh? I can see why Willie's so friendly with you. Stay here, you'll be safe for the rest of the round, hopefully." With that said, she shrunk into the ink as a squid, and Super Jumped out with a burst of ink in her wake.

Splin sat in the light blue ink, the ink feeling like gelatin compared to the normally smooth and soothing water-like texture or the enemy ink's slight sting and grip at his feet. He sat in the goop, sinking a small amount yet relaxing, until a new voice began to shake him out of his tired doldrums.

"Hey! Stop sleeping around in the corner! We're taking heavy fire out there, it doesn't help that you're the replacement for an Inkling who bailed on us!"

Splin looked up at a male Inkling wearing a pair of 18K Aviators, a Green Cardigan, and a pair of Pro Trail Boots on his feet.

"Uh, actually, I'm here by mistake…" Splin trailed off when the Inkling took off his Aviator sunglasses, looking him in the eyes.

"No excuses, boss. You're going out there and helping us whether you like it or not. Here, you look like you need this."

The Aviator Inkling gave Splin an N-ZAP '85, complete with an ink tank and sub weapon. Splin took it reluctantly and equipped the ink tank on his back, the canister already beginning to fill with blue ink. Splin gripped the N-ZAP gun, quickly getting accustomed to its weight and shape.

Splin blinked. "Wait, I'm not hooked up to respawn! The ink doesn't match with yours, and-"

"Calm down soldier. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'll defend you." The other Inkling took out a L-3 Nozzlenose.

"...I don't think this'll work." Splin sighed. "But thanks anyways, err…"

"Call me MM." The other Inkling said, patting his cardigan. "I need to move forward, the other two are taking a beating."

The spawn point behind them began to spin in response.

"Meet you there, boss." MM began spraying the Nozzlenose outside of the small gap between the two walls, and jumped down, swimming outside the spawn in the light blue ink.

Splin sighed. Unable to survey the map from a bird's eye view because he wasn't officially playing, he squinted his eyes and tried to discern if he could escape, only to find all the entrances and exits to the mall were shut closed for the match.

Sorry Splin, looks like you're gonna have to play it safe.

Splin put a hand to his face. "...Alright. Just wish I would've stayed in this morning with Sharq, maybe this never would have happened. I wonder what he's doing right now anyways?"

* * *

Sharq yawned, getting up from his bed. "Morning Splin, what are we doing today?"

Looking to the left, he saw that his brother's bed was empty, although slightly messy. He blinked, rubbing his eyes, and jumped out of bed, checking underneath the covers and the bed frame itself.

"Salty, have you seen Splin?" Sharq asked his pet snail. Salty opened its eyes, shaking in a "No" fashion.

Tai opened her eyes slowly. Propping herself up using her hands, she looked around. "Come on man… I was dreaming of a world where I didn't have to do anything, let me stay in my realm."

Sharq walked over to the Octoling guest. "Tai, have you seen Splin?"

Tai yawned. "This morning… Why do you ask?"

"He's missing."

"...Maybe he just went to get something? It's not like you two follow each other everywhere, right?"

"I dunno, I'm gonna look for him. He usually tells me first thing in the morning."

Tai looked at Sharq, nodded, and stood up. "Alright. I'll hang here, I don't wanna go out and get blasted by some baka who thinks he'll be a hero for splatting me."

Sharq grabbed a Custom Blaster, waving to Tai, as he opened the doors to the house, ready to Super Jump, but was interrupted by Tai running out.

"He made us waffles!" She exclaimed, her face beaming.

"...Thank Cod for my brother, always thinking ahead." Sharq bounded back into the house and started to dig in, loading up for the journey he'll have ahead.

* * *

AN: I Got Some Bad News This Time: So, now we wait to see if my crazy theory is true. I'll try to post chapters at the start of the day, in the Pacific Time Zone of the United States of America at least. In other news, this week, I burnt my right arm, dropped a sandwich on the floor, got completely owned in every multiplayer game I own, and may or may not have shed a few tears during one of the processes. How was your day? Well, the main thing you have to worry about is probably the lack of updates soon, I can type fine with my slightly burnt arm, but it's a pain to do so. I'll try to finish up this tiny episode arc, then I'll have to take a bit of a break, sorry. Enough of my self pity though, let's go to reviews! Yep, Anon360, I couldn't think of a really good way to end the chapter off, so I just decided that the brothers would mostly get away with a bit of tiredness. Sorry, I'll get better at writing those. Also, you are very welcome sebastian830! For my first cameo written directly in the story, I'm glad it was well received! Anyways, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to try and play some Splatoon and actually git gud. Later alligators!


	16. The Brothers and Master Miller

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the game, Splatoon, and I do not own the rights, or the game, Metal Gear Solid V, or any other Metal Gear Solid game besides 3. Shame, I really want to play that game. But if I did, then you'd be able to have D-Dog, D-Horse, and Quiet wear boxes and patrol with you wearing said boxes, and there would be a box option in Splatoon.

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

" **What Took You So Long?"**

Splin ran across the light blue ink as fast as he could, which wasn't much more than a brisk, sluggish jog considering the ink he was trudging in. Splin looked at the ground, kicking up small blobs of ink as he went, slowly moving along. Each step caused him to groan in frustration, this wasn't working. He hesitated, tightly gripping his newfound N-ZAP, and fired a single test shot at the cyan slush. The darker shade of blue mixed surprisingly well with the lighter tint, freeing up Splin's feet.

"Hmm. I wonder…" Splin began to trace over the previous path of light blue, allowing him to move forward without any difficulty. The color scheme shifted to somewhere in between, as if the sky and the sea blended together.

"Very… Descriptive?" Splin shrugged.

Sorry, inner artist.

Splin shook his head at this, moving forward towards the middle ground. There he saw a green team Carbon Roller duking it out with MM. Despite the weapon advantage and optimal distance the Carbon Roller had, MM was severely beating him back, dodging and weaving under the Roller, and delivering a small sweeping kick, before spraying him into oblivion with his N-ZAP '89. Upon spotting Splin, he smiled and waved.

"Glad you could make it! Mind giving me a hand in defending this area?" MM asked. He looked at Splin for an answer who just stared in surprise. "Hey, anything goes in Turf War."

Splin hesitated, then dropped down from the wall, shooting at the ground a little to ease up the space. "Sure… But I'm gonna need to stay away from the enemy team, I don't think I'm hooked up to respawn."

MM gave Splin a reassuring look. "Don't worry boss, I'll stand by and provide cover fire. Focus on defending this area."

Splin looked around. They had captured the middle ground, but the paths leading up to it were only partially blocked by the friendly ink. However, two platforms overlooking the middle were covered in green ink, which could be used as a vantage point for the opposition.

"Actually… I have an idea. You see those platforms up there? If our other teammates, Willie and Zip, get over there, we could turn the tides of battle." Splin said, hand to his chin.

"Interesting tactic. What's our plan of action?"

"First, we gotta get the others over here." Splin said.

A soft digital sound was heard, as well as small circular beacons with the name, "Zip" and "Willie" respectively appeared, signaling the team's eventual appearance.

"Just in time." Splin smiled.

Considering Splin's luck streak so far, you should all know that this shouldn't go as planned.

Splin rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the vote of confidence voice."

"Voice? You got someone on radio?" MM asked.

Splin rubbed the back of his neck. "Well… Something like that."

"Great, he can be our eye in the sky. I'll move forward, when the other two get here, we can put your plan into action. Good luck boss." MM saluted, shooting at a wall to the left, and swimming up into the enemy base through that path.

Soon, Zip and Willie both landed at the middle, shaking off the impact easily.

"What's the plan Music Man?" Willie said with a smile.

Splin pointed at the platforms again. "We're gonna take those platforms."

Willie stared at Splin unflinchingly. "That's it? Man, I thought you were gonna say, 'Let's storm the base' or 'Sneak attack' or even, 'Let's ride an Inkstrike' like you did last time." Willie sighed.

"William, he's trying to help us, besides, I bet he'll ask us to do something cool, come on..." Zip reassured her more-than-a-friend, making puppy dog eyes.

Willie pouted somewhat. "I told you not to call me thaaaatttt."

"Uh… Ahem?" Splin coughed, clearing the awkwardness out of the air somewhat.

Willie and Zip turned, both with embarrassed faces.

"Y-Yeah. Anyways, you were…cough...saying, Splin?" Zip stated quickly.

Splin nodded. "MM has already gone up ahead, we need you two to capture those platforms so that we can ensure that the enemy doesn't get too far."

"Roger!" Willie exclaimed, jumping down the middle stage, taking out his Krak-On Roller, continuing on.

Zip followed suit, but not before laying down a Squid Beacon. She waved to Splin, swimming behind Willie in the path he dozed through the green team's ink. Splin started to spray the surrounding area with his ink, calmly defending the area. He looked ahead at the opposing team's base, the his newfound, "teammates" holding off the green team as they turned to cover the high platforms on the side of the wall. Splin smiled, glad that his strategy was working. Unfortunately for him…

"Oh boy." Splin muttered.

Splin noticed an Inkstrike missile being launched out of the green base, traveling over the entire map, aimed at the middle. The headphone wearing Inkling shot at the wall leading up and out, and swam up quickly as a squid. The Inkstrike completely covered the area behind him, stomping out the safe area Splin could use. He was panting, having just barely made it out before the missile hit. That wasn't it however, a green laser stuck out past him, searching for a target.

"Oh come on!" Splin shouted.

The Splatterscope heard him, and blasted a straight line of ink towards the wall he was behind. Splin got an idea, he ducked out of his hiding spot, behind a planter, and tossed a Splat Bomb at the sniper. She looked up from her weapon, and retreated, giving Splin enough time to rush forward with his weapon. The sniper didn't take too kindly to this, repeatedly firing small bursts as she hopped after him, only to get denied by a shot from Zip, standing nearby.

"Splin?! What are you doing, what about the plan?" Zip questioned him.

A just barely missed green Inkzooka projectile answered her question.

"We gotta get you out of here." Zip stated, pulling Splin behind a kiosk. "Willie, we need some help!"

Her request was granted, Willie sneaking up to the Inkzooka user from a small patch of ink behind a tree, and squished the unsuspecting squid with his Roller.

"Ha ha!" Willie laughed in triumph, only to get shot in the face by an Aerospray RG user who came down from the middle. "Gah…" The poor fellow was spirited away to the spawn point as a little squid ghost.

"Boss! You look like you need some help." MM shouted.

Splin peeked his head out of the kiosk, noticing MM waving on the left side, on top of a wall that led to one of the platforms.

"Don't worry, I said I'll cover you, just get over here!" The 18K Aviator Inkling grinned, firing at the Aerospray, driving him away.

Splin turned to Zip, who shrugged. "Hey man, just do it. I'll help you out too."

The solitary brother nodded, shooting ahead of him towards MM. Sliding down the ramp, he looked behind him, Zip scoring a optimal strike on the Aerospray user. She pumped her fist in the air, but was unfortunately splatted by an opposing Bamboozler. Splin's eyes widened, quickly reaching the bottom of the ramp, he sprayed at the next one, shooting up as a squid soon after. MM reached for him, grabbing him by a tentacle. Splin reverted to a humanoid form, his tentacles still in MM's hold.

"Uh… MM, could you please let go?"

"Whoops, sorry." MM placed Splin behind him.

Just then, two opponents began advancing towards them. Splin looked back, Zip and Willie had respawned and were covering the ground. He kept walking backwards, shooting towards the two.

"Stay safe boss, I'll hold them back for a while." MM smiled, pushing Splin backwards to the end of the platform.

"Oof! MM, what are you doing?!" Splin yelled.

"You got two options. Life, or death. Hopefully if this goes well, it'll be life." MM chuckled nervously.

He ran to the enemies. They began shooting at him in response, but MM dodged through the crossfire. Switching to squid form, he surfed under one, and surprisingly disarmed him, using some form of judo it seemed.

"Gah!" The green team Inkling was flipped over, off the ledge by MM. He turned to Splin, giving a smile, but was splatted by a Tri Slosher who ambushed him from above.

Splin shot at the Tri Slosher, moving back slowly, making sure to spray as much as he could. The dark blue no longer combined with any other ink, as the surrounding ground was mostly green. Still, Zip and Willie had managed to reclaim the turf, light blue separated by a line of green. Splin ran out of ammo, and decided to turn into a squid, only to find that the ink underneath him was light blue, and impossible for him to sink into. Splin fell back in the ink, the Tri Slosher slowly gaining on him…

Until a whistle could be heard sounding through the air. With a loud, TWEEEET, the match was concluded. Splin fell on his back completely, breathing in and out heavily.

Yeah, we're not killing off anybody just yet.

"Thank those who watch over me." Splin gasped.

Judd walked onscreen. This time, he surveyed the battlefield, but found something different. He noticed a hue unlike the other colors, a navy blue. Warming up for the results, he pointed a hand up with the winning team's flag. However, the flag this time was doubled, two banners with a light blue squid and a dark blue one.

"Meeeow! (Surprisingly, Cyan wins with a 48.5%, over the Green with a 39.6%, and Blue with a 10.4%!)"

Multiple things happened at once. Zip, Willie, and MM celebrated, the Green Team stomped their feet in agitation, while Splin just sat in relief. Judd left, and the exits to the mall opened. Each team left, and the public of Inkopolis was left to go inside the mall, despite the mass of colors spilled about. Well, there was one thing missing…

Splin looked around. "..." He stood up, and walked away, still relieved yet surprised over the turn of events.

* * *

At the Inkopolis Tower, the teams of the recently ended Turf War were chilling out, a few minutes after the battle was ended.

"So wait, that blue tentacled Inkling we shot at wasn't hooked into respawn?" The green Tri Slosher questioned.

"Yeah, you nearly killed him. I have half a mind to smack you silly for that." Zip said, tapping her foot on the ground.

"Yeah! Come on, who shoots at a poor guy without a weapon?!" Willie exclaimed.

"I'm sorry! I thought he was a hacker or something!" The enemy sniper apologized.

"Oh, you know the only 'hacker' around here is that evil Octoling rebel who's been erasing people!" Zip retorted.

The argument started getting heated up, each side getting much more annoyed, until a new, worried voice joined.

"Guys?"

Everyone stopped yelling at each other and looked to the entrance of the tower. A certain Takoroka Mesh Inkling we all know and love, carrying a completely not suspicious looking box, was standing there with a concerned look on his face.

"I don't want to be rude… But have you seen my brother, uh, Splin? He has a pair of headphones he always wears…" Sharq emphasized this by putting the box down and cupping his hands around his ears to look like headphones. "And he wears a Anchor Tee, like mine, but just black colored, with a pair of blue and orange shoes. Know who I'm talking about?"

Sharq looked at the previously arguing Inklings, who were now frozen in place.

"...Oh hi Zip, hey Willie, how's it going?" He smiled, which quickly vanished once he saw the nervous and sweaty look on their faces.

"...squit." Zip whispered. Willie whistled nervously.

Sharq tilted his head in confusion and concern. Suddenly, a whooshing noise could be heard, and Splin himself rocketed into the tower lobby, carefully covering a package, landing roughly on the floor.

"Ow…" Splin stood up and stretched, eliciting sighs of relief all around.

Ask and you shall receive!

"Splin!" Sharq ran over to his brother and practically tackled him with a hug. "Dude, where were you?! Me and Tai-"

The box Sharq dropped coughed a little.

"Uh, I was worried man! I thought you had gone home with Mom and Dad!" Sharq smiled, little tears of joy forming at his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you where you were going?!"

"I'm good, I'm fine Sharq. I got stuck in Arowana Mall for a while, until I remembered I could Super Jump again…" Splin chuckled nervously. "...But I managed to get this!"

Splin lifted the package and opened it slightly, revealing a shiny new router.

If only I could play MEDIC! through a story, then it would be perfect.

"Nice, isn't it Sharq-" Splin's statement as well as lungs were cut off when Sharq hugged him tighter.

"Thank Cod for my brother!" Sharq cried out.

"N-Need to breathe…!" Splin choked out.

Sharq put Splin down and apologized soon after. "Sorry bro, but consider it payback!" Sharq grinned.

Splin sighed. "Of course it would be."

"Glad to see you're still kicking, Splin. Sorry about leaving you behind." Zip walked over to the two.

"It's fine Zip, it was a huge accident in the first place." Splin paused, and looked around. "...Hey, where's MM? I haven't thanked him for sacrificing himself."

Willie put a hand on his chin. "I think he said he was going to a place called, 'Burger Reef' or something. Oh yeah! He also left this for you, Splin."

Willie handed the two brothers a note. Splin took it with a, "Thanks", reading it.

After the quick examination, Splin said, "Sharq, you still up for a burger?"

Sharq had attached a large bib of a lobster holding up a fork and knife to himself.

Splin rolled his eyes, "Of course you are. See you guys later, it was nice seeing you again, Zip and Willie!"

The aforementioned couple waved at the two brothers, Sharq picking up the box on the way out as he ran to catch up with his brother. Zip smiled, then heard a cough. She looked back at the inside of the lobby, the green team still confused as to what happened.

"..." They stared in silence.

"Eh." Willie and Zip shrugged, before waving goodbye, leaving the others to comprehend the situation.

* * *

"I'm sorry I didn't pay attention Splin." Tai apologized from within her box sanctuary. "I was just so tired-"

"Yeah, you explained to me this morning." Splin sighed. "It's fine Tai, you were just exhausted."

"...Sure, fine. But I'm not letting any of you two die, you're too cool for that." Tai could be heard mumbling.

"Thanks, I suppose." Splin smiled.

"You know what I mean! Gah, I'd SO kill you for hearing that!" Tai shouted.

"Well that was a quick mood shift." Splin mumbled.

Though it wasn't possible to see, Tai grinned from inside the box. "Hee hee, just making things right, Splinny boy!"

"What is going on today? Everyone keeps acting weird!" Sharq complained.

"Probably just hunger. But that'll be over soon." Splin said.

The two brothers had arrived at the Burger Reef, a relatively laid-back joint overlooking the beach from across the street. Inside, they couldn't spot too many people, except for an older squid wearing a pair of aviators. They entered the inside of the establishment, a small place with a cash register and counter in the front, and a flight of stairs leading up somewhere, and were immediately greeted.

"Hello! Welcome to Burger Reef, how may I take your order?"

The two looked to the left and spotted a young female Inkling adult, garbed in an apron and donning a vizor, the uniform of the restaurant.

"Uh… We came here to meet a friend, actually." Splin said, pointing to MM.

The Inkling employee smiled. "So nice to see a friend of Kaz. Come, sit down." She ushered the two to sit next to MM, who chuckled slightly in awkwardness. "I'll get you two something, wait here!" She hummed and walked away behind a set of doors, presumably to cook.

Splin and Sharq turned to MM with a questioning look.

"What took you so long?" His smile was forced.

"Is she-"

"She's my mother." MM sighed.

"So uh… Thanks for, you know…" Splin rubbed the back of his neck again.

"Dying to save you? You're welcome." MM chuckled slightly.

Everyone sat in awkward silence for a few minutes.

"Psst. Splin, Sharq." Tai whispered out of the box.

"Yeah?" They both answered back inconspicu-

"Why are you two whispering to a box?" MM asked, before putting a hand to his chin. "Actually, scratch that. I know a friend who has done some questionable yet effective things with boxes before."

"...Okay?" Splin said, quietly sitting.

"Get me a burger. Please." Tai emphasized the last word.

Sharq pet the box. "Alright!"

"And don't treat me like a pet, Cod!" She hissed back.

"Anyways, the whole reason I wanted to call you back here is-"

"Here you are!" MM's mother dropped four fresh burgers in front of the whole crew. "The extra one is just in case one of you gets a little hungrier." She said with a wink, walking upstairs.

"Thanks!" Sharq exclaimed, and began chowing down. His face brightened up so much after the first bite, you'd think he was part Zapfish. "DUDE. This tastes amazing!"

MM laughed. "Well, that's the whole idea of the Chemical Burger."

Splin's eyebrows rose in interest. "Chemical Burger?"

"A burger made using fresh and organic ingredients mixed with some of the more, 'man-made' things such as sauces and flavorings. It was my idea, a burger that blends usefulness and flavor. Something that Inkling-kind can use to advance civilization, and help those in need…" MM stopped, the two brothers staring at him wonderingly.

Splin and Sharq began to clap, unironically.

"Wow… That's…"

"COOL!" Sharq beamed. "That thing sounds like it could save the universe if it need to!"

"Heh, thanks. Anyways, the main reason wanted to call you here for was just to say thanks."

"Really? Why?" Splin asked.

"You really helped us out back there. We actually had some money on the line, and after losing one of our teammates, I really lost hope… But then you came along. Thanks…"

"My name's Splin." Splin introduced himself the third or fourth time in this fic. "This over here is my brother, Sharq." Sharq grinned, and shook MM's hand.

"What about you friend in the box? If you don't introduce me, I'll do it myself." MM firmly said.

Splin and Sharq both flinched. They huddled together, debating what to do, before finally deciding. They looked at the box… And quickly surrounded it.

"Sorry, but uh… This isn't for public eyes." Splin said.

"Oh I gotcha." MM completely misunderstood, giving the two brothers a "knowing" grin. "Yeah, sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

Inside of the box, Tai's face shifted to that of disgust. "What the actual…"

The whole party of them finished their chemical-infused sandwiches, putting one inside the box as well. Splin had a content look on his face, where Sharq was smiling quite openly.

"Is this what heaven feels like…?" Sharq said, patting his stomach.

MM chuckled. "I'd like to think so, Sharq. Huh. Time flies, doesn't it?"

The three looked out the glass pane windows. Sure enough, the sun was setting, creating a nice reddish violet.

"Oh shoot, we gotta get home!" Splin said. "I'm pretty sure if we don't get home in time, we won't be able to install the router-"

"Splin, calm down man. We'll go, but first…" Sharq looked up to the ceiling. "Thank you miss!"

"Miss Miller!" A cheery voice shouted down.

"Thank!" Sharq nudged Splin. "Let's go bro!" Sharq ran out the door with the box.

Splin smiled, and looked to MM, who was holding his hand out. Splin wouldn't leave a true bro like that hanging, so he grabbed it and shook it, all cool like in the movies, trust me.

"See you later MM." Splin said, standing up to leave.

"Kazuhira."

Splin turned around. MM took off his aviators again, his eyes shone a very pale blue.

"Name's Kazuhira Miller. See you later, boss."

Splin nodded, and ran out the door to catch up with Sharq. The two brothers super jumped away, carrying the box and router package with them.

Kaz smiled sadly. "Reminds me of a certain man who sold the world. I hope they don't end up like us." With that being said, the Reef faded away in the night as Splin, Sharq, and a hidden Tai jumped away to the comforts of the hills.

* * *

"What do you mean nothing was ever built here?!" Sharq questioned.

After a long night's rest, the two Inklings, box included, had stopped by the Burger Reef only to see that nothing was there.

"Sorry fella, nothing's ever been built here. It's always been an empty space for quite some time…" The lobster the two had asked just shrugged, and walked away.

Splin and Sharq stared in disbelief. "That couldn't have just been a dream… And the Tele-Cube didn't transport us anywhere, right?"

Tai poked her head out of the box, noticing a glimmer on the ground. "Guys, check it out." She whispered.

The three of them crouched to the ground, and spotted a familiar pair of eyewear. Kaz's Aviators sat on the ground, with a tiny note attached to them. Splin picked up the glasses, and took the note off to read.

" _Sorry Boss. Had to return to a place I belonged in. I appreciate the trouble you went through just to help a guy like me. Funny how life works sometimes. You're either doomed when something terrible occurs, or life'll hand you a saving grace, like you. Thanks again, I'm sure if the real Boss was with me, he'd agree. -Kazuhira Miller"_ The note read.

Splin looked at the clear blue morning sky, only dotted with a few dark clouds. "You think it's going to rain?"

Sharq shrugged. "Beats me. Wonder if it's raining where he's from?"

Tai stood up and out of the box, not caring for any broken laws. "Maybe."

The three looked at the sky in wonder. Then a raindrop came down.

"...Let's get out of this downpour while we still can!" Splin shouted. The other two nodded, Tai jumping back into the box, and the three ran for cover, small pitter patters of rain sounding behind them.

* * *

AN: Ooh, mystery and plot twists. Sorry if that chapter wasn't as humorous as some of the other ones, I seem to be going through a lack of comedy. Although, the day I posted this, it was raining where I lived, so I did have some inspiration for the last bits. Thanks for sticking with me, anyone and everyone who reads my story. I promise, I'll make the next chapter funnier. I wanted to make a Metal Gear Solid reference before, but a certain Science Inkling fic in this community already took all the good ones, so I was like, "Eh, I'll just try to have Kaz or Big Boss cameo". Hope I did a good enough job. Anyways, time to respond to reviews! Thanks again, Anon360 and sebastian830 for reviewing! Yeah, Arowana Mall isn't one of the best maps Anon, but I wanted to use it for quite some time. Sorry if I made it seem too, THIS IS THE GREATEST MAP EVER OMG. And sebastian, yeah, Splin's bad luck is kinda based on the luck I get when playing multiplayer games. It's not great, but I'm getting better. You guys don't have to review the day the chapter comes out, go out, do something cool, I don't mind. Anyways, that's all the time I have for today. This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to splat some enemies in Splatoon. See you later!

In my heart I just know that there's no way to light up the dark, in his eyes… -Sins of the Father, Donna Burke.


	17. The Brothers and the Logic of the World

Before We Get Started: I had actually planned to make that previous chapter a reference to MGS5 or possible tie in to a new story, but honestly Anon360, you can tell I got a huge lack of inspiration and flow of storytelling, so I'm pretty stumped, and I apologize for any confusion. I'm gonna try to make the story flow better, but don't be surprised if I get caught up in another chapter. Anyways, I hope you don't take offense to this Anon, but I'm actually going to use your confused thoughts as the whole base of this chapter. If you don't like it however, I can replace it or something. With that said, let's get started!

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Odd Times, Aren't They?**

Splin sat on his bed, inspecting a pair of aviators sunglasses. It's been a week since Kaz had vanished off the face of the planet. Despite his unnatural disappearance, the crew convinced themselves he was some sort of phantom who had simply helped Splin out, to the reluctance of the headphone wearer. Tai had also left, going back to the Octarian base to sort things out with her superiors, and hopefully not get kicked out for absence. Splin sighed, putting the aviator glasses safely by the alarm clock on the dresser.

"I don't even know what to think is real anymore." Splin stared up at the ceiling, letting his headphones fall to his bed.

"Hey come on Splin, cheer up! You've been sitting there thinking for at least five days now, relax! Kaz was probably just some weird ghost or something." Sharq tried to reassure his brother, playing with Salty. And by playing, he just juggled the Super Sea Snail in the air, a dizzy yet happy look on its face.

"Yeah, but that's just it. Why would a ghost need to play in Turf Wars? He doesn't need money." Splin responded.

"How do you know? Maybe they do." Sharq said.

Splin turned to look at Sharq with an, "are-you-serious-right-now" look, before lying back down and staring at the ceiling again.

Splin groaned. "Also, please remind me why I haven't fixed that hole yet."

Don't sweat it Splin, after all, this story didn't make any sense in the first place.

"...Story?"

Story of your lives?

"Um..." Splin pondered this, but quickly shook his head afterwards. "Gah, that's not the point!"

Dodged a bullet there.

"The point is..." Splin stood up. "We've met phantoms, glitchy yet powerful computer cubes, people in so called other dimensions, I don't know what to believe is normal anymore!" Splin yelled. "Is it too much to ask for just a time when we didn't have to deal with stuff like this?"

"Time."

Splin froze. He and Sharq slowly looked at the Tele-Cube. The cube began to flash a little, and a number was shown on its screen.

"Time, 1:53 PM." The Tele-Cube chimed in a digital voice.

"That's what I mean! Since when do cubes answer you whenever you begin rambling on about something, picking out a specific word?!" Splin sunk into his bed. "It's things like that… I just don't understand…" Splin broke down. "The Inkslide Park getting destroyed… Does anyone care? The Tele-Cube going on a rampage… How can anyone forget that?! Literally no one seems to see or care that the Great Zapfish was stolen, then RETURNED in a few days!"

Sharq looked at his brother's breakdown, sitting by him and patting him on the back. "Maybe we just spend too much time doing weird stuff. Tell you what Splin, how about I play you in a Turf War? We go on opposite teams, and we just try to knock each other out, just for the fun of it! That'll snap you out of it, right?" Sharq smiled hopefully.

Splin rose from his bed's comforts slowly, his eyes emphasizing that he was tired. "Later Sharq, I'm not really feeling it right now…"

"I'm really feeling it!" An energetic voice cried out. "...This was a bad time, wasn't it?"

This pushed Splin over the edge, and he slammed himself into his pillow, a muffled scream could be heard from it. Sharq backed up, and slowly walked out of the house, but not before taking the Tele-Cube and Salty out to save them from any possible hearing damage, leaving Splin to his tirades. Sharq took a seat on a rock outside, hand on his cheek. "Voice, is Splin overreacting?"

Yes and no. I mean, I'm just a disembodied voice that talks to you two all the time. How do we know you two aren't just delusional?

Sharq blinked in confusion. "Doesn't Tai hear you too?"

Well, that rules out that theory. For now, I say we give the poor guy a break, maybe let him play some video games, or relax.

* * *

Splin was inside, attempting to watch the television to remove some stress. The first thing that came up was a conspiracy show.

"What did the giant cube robot attack mean? Was it some sort of alien attack? An attempt at socialization… No one may know…" The show ended immediately.

Splin's eyes twitched. "AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHHH!"

* * *

Sharq heard Splin's cry from outside, and immediately looked inside through the window. He sidestepped to the left, a pillow flying out of the glass. He looked in, and saw Splin with his face in his hands.

Okay, I've put way too many dead end references here, and they're not helping Splin at all. Sharq, Splin's gonna stay indoors today. You might wanna find help or something.

Sharq nodded, and waved goodbye to his hysterical brother, Super Jumping to Inkopolis, carrying the two little sentient objects with him.

* * *

Sharq landed harshly in the alleyway between the Squid Sisters studio and the Battle Dojo again, the cube and snail shaken up a little as well.

"Oy, guy with the cap."

Sharq turned around, noticing Spyke.

"Hi Spyke." Sharq waved unenthusiastically.

"...Something's off. Where's your normally cheerful exterior, and where's that other bloke you always hang out with? Something happen to 'im?"

"He's going nuts, Spyke. All because of the things we've seen and done recently!" Sharq exclaimed. "I don't know how to help him, either."

"Like what?" Spyke asked.

Sharq hesistated. "Uh… Stuff like when Ari came around."

"Ah. Insane happenings that shouldn't be, eh?" Spyke asked.

"Sort of."

"In all my years as a businessman, one thing I've come to remember is, 'expect the unexpected'. Expectin' everything to be all nice and peachy doesn't last forever. 'Scuse me for a bit." Spyke looked up and spotted a well dressed Inkling man wearing black tinted shades walking this way. He tapped his finger on the ground in an odd, rhythmic way.

The man noticed, his eyebrows raised, and reached into his jacket to pull something out. Sharq gasped, and immediately hit the deck. Spyke tossed a Super Sea Snail shell at the Inkling's head, knocking him out cold. Spyke stood up suddenly, looked around, then quietly tossed the man's unconscious body behind the wall he sat by. Sharq stared wide eyed.

"Like I said, expect the unexpected. Might wanna tell your friend that, but I'd suggest you keep the part about knocking out blokes at a low." Spyke grinned very slightly. "Unless you get into a... Heated situation, love."

Sharq nodded, and sped off in fear. He stood by the Inkopolis Tower, panting.

"Mew. (What's wrong?)" Judd asked, waking up from his small perch.

"Uh, did you see that?!" Sharq gestured to Spyke, who whistled innocently, tapping his finger on the ground like usual.

"Purr. (No.)" Judd yawned. "Meow meow. (You seem tense though. What's going on?)"

"Oh, maybe you can help! My brother's been having some stress issues related to the weird stuff that's been going on."

"Meow? (Like the time you two were on the news running away?)" Judd asked.

"Yeah! Wait, how come you're the only one who remembers that?" Sharq questioned in response. Judd simply shrugged.

"Mrow. (Squid kids purrobably are more concerned with what the pop stars are doing…)" Judd pointed to the Squid Sisters studio. "Mew, mrow. (Sorry Sharq, but I don't think I have a cure for purranoia. Let things simmer down, he'll come to his senses.)"

"Okay… Thanks anyways, Judd!" Sharq said, walking away. Judd sleepily waved, then fell back asleep.

Sharq walked in the plaza for a while, eventually stopping to sit by the Battle Dojo. _"I don't get it. Why is Splin so worked up over this? I don't see anything too out of the ordinary…"_

Just then, the doors to the Battle Dojo opened, and out popped a female Inkling repeatedly shifting from squid form to humanoid, repeatedly, somehow still moving forward while doing so.

"Dang it, stop squidbagging!" A voice yelled out.

Another female Inkling burst out of the Dojo, threatening to splat the now giggling squidbagger with her sniper rifle capable of shooting out high pressurized bursts of ink bullets in an almost perfect straight line.

"See? Just another normal day." Sharq put his hand on his chin in wonder. "There are people jumping around as squids, and other people holding weapons out all the time here, I don't see- Wait."

I think he's onto something ladies and gentlemen.

"There are no Turf War weapons allowed in the plaza!" Sharq exclaimed.

...And he lost it.

"Other than that, I don't get what Splin's so riled up about." Sharq wondered out loud again.

Sharq could feel a shaking in his pockets, and realized he still brought Salty, his pet Super Sea Snail that LIVED IN A SHELL MADE OF CRYSTAL, WORTH 30,000 GOLD COINS.

"Aw, sorry Salty. I forgot to feed you, don't worry man. I'll find some food for you." Sharq stood up and looked around, completely missing the point, and decided to walk to a nice diner to get something for Salty, maybe for something for his troubled sibling back home. He walked out, only to remember something. "Oh wait, I can just do this!" Sharq became a squid, and Super Jumped away, carrying Salty and the Tele-Cube with him.

As Sharq left the plaza filled with sentient sea creatures that can stand on two feet, he wondered how his borderline insane brother was at home.

* * *

Splin sat in front of the television, watching the news. The poor Inkling's eyes were tired and red around the ends, a result of his attempts at justifying the logic of his universe.

"Today in news," Rus Heba began on screen, "Major disputes with the so called, Octarian race has been dwindling. There are still some resistance, though it is minimal, the attacks seem to be coming from different nations of the species, a rebel movement, if you will." This was the the point where Splin had to shut off the television.

"Huh… Two cephalopod creatures of nature, battling it out for turf using deadly paint… Nothing wrong with that…" Splin had fallen to the floor.

A light had fallen upon him. Splin had concluded that he was being visited by an angel of sorts, that his time on the world was done. But it just turned out Tai had broken in through the roof.

"Hey guys! Sorry about the roof, I tried to Super Jump here, but that's not the point. I actually came to-" Tai paused, and looked at the floor, eyebrow raised. "Cod Splin, you look awful."

He's been debating whether or not the things he sees in life are normal or not.

"I can see it's been working WONDERFULLY for him." Tai sarcastically replied. "I think I'll just come back later…"

Splin looked up. "N-Now there are three holes in the ceiling." Splin whispered. "W-What is even…"

Tai cringed at that, and decided to throw Splin a bone. She picked him up, and laid him on the bed carefully.

"...Hmm." Tai examined him from head to toe, then snapped her fingers. "Huh, this reminds me of an issue some of the other Octoling recruits suffered from. Whenever they would be entered in a combat zone, some of them would faint at the splatting of others. Most would be traumatized for a while, the worst of them getting nightmares and such… This isn't good."

Sharq entered the room just after she said that, which doesn't amount to much because there was no punchline, but he did perform a rad entrance through the hole he made a while ago. A few chunks of roof were removed in the process, but that wasn't immediately noticed.

"Hey Splin, I brought you food, don't worry man!" Sharq said, holding up a paper bag. "Uh, hi Tai. Sorry, if I'd known you'd be here, I'd buy you stuff too."

"It's fine. But could you give me a hand with him?" Tai pointed to Splin, shivering.

"Splin!" Sharq ran over to his bedside. "Splin, can you hear me?!" This only got him to shiver more.

"Sharq, calm down! If you bother him too much, he'll lose his grip. Just let him be." Tai pulled him back.

Sharq looked at Splin with worry. "Do you think it was a bad idea to go through all of those things?!"

Tai tilted her head. "Yes and no. Yes because, well, look at him. If I didn't know any better I'd honestly think he had been run over or something. No because you guys did help us out, even if it was a mistake. I mean, seriously. Who decides to go against their entire race's rules to help out another dying race? That's stuff you hear in a fantasy novel or something."

Cough.

"Just hope he isn't suffering..." Sharq said, looking back at his Splin, now asleep.

Meh. I'll take care of this.

Sharq and Tai raised their heads and looked straight up.

"What are you going to do, voice?" Sharq asked.

Just going to talk to him…

Everything went silent, except for the small chirps of birds outside. Sharq and Tai looked at each other, deciding to take a seat and wait, Tai grabbing a bag of popcorn.

"What?! Where did you get that bag of popcorn?" Sharq asked again.

"Usually the Octolings that break down have something absolutely absurd to say after they break down." Tai admitted, popping one into her mouth. "They tend to bark back at us, try and confuse us, then escape or something. It's pretty hilarious, actually." Tai giggled ominously.

"...Does it end well?" Sharq asked hopefully.

Tai stopped giggling and smiled nervously. "...Somewhat?"

* * *

" _...So what you're saying is, that all of these odd occurrences that have been happening is just going to happen regardless of what we do? There is no point in trying to figure it out?"_

Somewhat, yes. You're smart, you've figured out a small idea of it.

" _Huh, that would explain a lot, but still doesn't completely answer my question…"_

Don't worry too much about it Splin, just don't sweat it. You've come this far, and you're gonna let logic get in your way? You're an Inkling, a humanoid figure with natural blue tentacles for hair that shift color, and you shoot deadly paintballs for sport.

 _"That still makes little logical sense."_

"Don't sweat it boss." Another voice chimed in, recognized as MM. "Seriously, just don't. It'll confuse a lot of people if you continue on with this."

 _"Kaz, didn't you completely vanish?"_

"Not completely. Just sent back to where I belonged." Kaz stated.

"Pally, lemme tell you one thing. In my job, it's best to shoot first and ask questions later. Otherwise you might end up somewhere six feet undah, if you catch my drift." A familiar cocky voice added.

" _So, just continue on like normal? You know that there are young pop stars that sing AND cast the news, right?"_

Yeah. Sharq and Tai are waiting for you anyways…

Splin mentally sighed. _"Fine... Wait, is it safe for you to be telling me this information? Would the universe collapse spontaneously or something?"_

Again, don't worry about it. This was just to snap you out of your doldrums.

Splin's vision, well, any sights around him that weren't pitch black, went dark.

* * *

Splin woke up with a cold sweat. He looked around, a surprised Tai and Sharq staring back at him. Tai could be seen stuffing a bag of sorts away with a blush. "H-Hey guys. Sorry about overreacting e-earlier. ...Why am I so cold?" Splin felt the top of his head, a sack of ice was placed on top.

Welcome back to the land of the living, where everything is still confusing and contrived, and cameos are shoehorned in for no reason.

"Still have little to no idea what you mean exactly, voice." Splin admitted.

"Wait, you've been talking to voice?" Tai asked.

"What'd he say? Did you learn the secrets of the universe, maybe?" Sharq gasped dramatically.

Splin chuckled. "No, but we can expect more weird stuff to happen later… What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"You completely blanked out on us, and you expect us to go with an, 'Okay, he's fine now, problem solved'?" Tai asked irritably.

"If I'm going to be honest, that's how we've done things in the past too…" Splin chuckled again, albeit nervously.

"Dude! Come on, none of the Octolings that break down like that go off with a pat on the back and a flipping lollipop or something!" Tai's eyes narrowed.

"This might be an awkward time to say this, but uh… I got food, Splin." Sharq raised the bag of food up.

"Thanks." Splin happily accepted the bag of food, and already began to snack, the other two just watched in a weirded out silence. Splin stopped eating, and looked at the other two cephalopods. "Uh… Apologies, you want some?"

Tai groaned softly, and took out a bag of fries. "Whatever man…"

Sharq took out a sandwich, and began chowing down. "If I didn't decide to eat, I would still be questioning you."

Splin just sat there, and shrugged. "Thanks for the food…"

After the food was finished and done, the three of them had settled into their cozy mattresses, Tai once again opting to snooze in her mess of a bed, but moved a little closer to the brothers' beds in case Splin decided to rough someone up. Sharq dozed off reluctantly, keeping an eye on Splin, who fell asleep instantly. The three slept peacefully, despite the complete disregard for any normalcy.

* * *

Splin woke up from the previous night's rest, not quite refreshed. Looking outside the window, he could see it was still dark out. He walked up and out of his bed, picking up the remote to the television, careful not to wake up Sharq or Tai. Immediately after turning on the television, he was not at all surprised to what was being reported on.

"Good morning Inkopolis!" Callie greeted her audience as usual, Marie standing by her. "It's time to announce the current battle stages!"

Splin slowly blinked.

"Our first stage today is Saltspray Rig, an oil rig still active, with real live oil!" Callie bubbly stated.

Marie snickered. "Little too much coffee in your cup today, cous?"

Splin shut off the television. "...Business as usual…" He said, going back to sleep.

* * *

AN: This is awkward for me to say...: When I had first started this story, I had wanted to write about the day-to-day adventures of the two Inkling brothers who just jump from story idea to story idea, finishing off each one in an episodic fashion without too much continuity. Unfortunately, I got a little too wrapped up in the lore, so I apologize for those who got kinda lost… Be aware that the story might not continue normally from here on out, and I apologize again for alienating some viewers… Time to answer reviews once more! Anon360, if I am going to be **completely** honest here, even I'm not sure where this story is going! I'm running out of ideas, so I'm gonna think some up and try to integrate them well, be sure to whack me on the head with this bat if I make another weird as all heck chapter. Anyways, thanks again for reading, and farewell to sebastian830, I hope you have fun wherever you go, and thank you for reviewing my story thus far! This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, signing out!


	18. The Brothers and the Tower Control

Could This Change Anything?: Not sure if this is classified information or something, but recently I was invited by another author to join the Splatoon Shared Universe group. I don't know if this'll change anything, not 100% sure if I'm involved in anything. Let's wait and see, shall we?

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Tower Out Of Control**

Sharq rose up from his bed groggily. He yawned, stretching his arms, eyes blinking to in an attempt to perceive his enviornment. Sharq looked to his brother's bed to greet him, but found that it was empty save for his laptop. This freaked him out, expecting the worst to have happened. Standing up quickly, he rushed out of bed to search, even if it took him hours, only to be stopped by a calm voice.

"Dude, don't freak out. I'm just making breakfast."

Sharq turned around, and spotted Splin cooking up a batch pancake in a skillet, Salty and the Tele-Cube sitting on the counter nearby. Sharq sighed in relief, and jumped at the counter immediately, sliding into a seat.

"One pancake!" Sharq requested.

Splin deadpanned at this. "Good to see not much has changed."

Another yawn could be heard, and a certain Octoling rose up from her slumber, a cheeky grin on her face. She sat down by Sharq, each eagerly awaiting a cake, plates and utensils at the ready. Splin shook his head, and added another serving of pancake batter.

"You two need to learn how to cook, I get the feeling if I leave for a day, you'll starve." Splin remarked, flipping a pancake.

"Nah, I know how to cook." Tai said, stretching her arms. "I just happen to like other peoples' food more."

"I can cook!" Sharq exclaimed.

Everyone else in the room stared at Sharq. Splin had to keep himself from uttering a single retort by biting his lip, which as you can imagine hurt significantly due to the squid beak teeth.

"Says the guy who ate an egg, shell pieces and all." Tai blurted out, barely preventing herself from bursting out in laughter.

Sharq frowned. "Wha- Come on guys! I'm not that bad at cooking! Salty, Tele-Cube, back me up on this!"

The two small, normally motionless objects answered with a silence.

"Splin, you've gotta have my back on this!" Sharq begged his brother.

Splin shook his head. "She's got a point Sharq, you've never been the most gifted in the cooking arts. There was that one time you tried to add spices to a salad that one time. I'm still surprised the sneezing lasted that long."

"Lemme get a pan, I'll show you!" Sharq said, leaping over the counter, taking a pan and adding a pancake mixture. The resulting batch of pancakes Sharq would make didn't win any awards, to say the least.

* * *

While our protagonists were off practicing cooking skills, something was awry in a certain set of towers. Moray Towers, Turf War and Ranked Battle map, was now specced for a game of Tower Control, or so the populace of Inkopolis think. A shady appearing figure was off, altering the tower platform Inklings ride on during the games. The figure tampered with the bottom of the tower, multiple tools of sabotage lying on the ground beside it.

"...Alright. The tower has been sabotaged, going back to base camp." The hooded figure stated in a quiet, feminine voice, cutting out the wires on a panel underneath, sparks flying out the bottom. She reached for another tool, grabbing a small box with toggles, switches, a wire, and some sort of dial and gauge, and jammed it into the tower.

The tower began to sink, and the figure retreated, the platform hitting the the ground with a thud. Lights from the tower flickered on and off, before shutting down completely.

Garbled speech was heard from the figure's hood. "Of course I'll be careful, that didn't count." The mysterious saboteur ran off, but tripped and fell off the tower's edge.

"CURSE THESE INKLING ARCHITEEEEEECCCHHS!" She screamed, falling blindly to what appeared to be her doom, landing harshly. She opened her eyes, dizziness clouding her sight "...Ugh… Is this... Shell?" She groaned.

"No, but that's what your life will be in you make any sudden moves."

The unidentifiable female looked up, into the goggles of an Octoling soldier, carrying her in her hands. She didn't look friendly, however. Accompanying her were other Octolings, three of them holding Octoshots menacingly. She put her hand to her goggles, clearing her throat.

"4U55-13 to Base, we've apprehended the rogue. Escorting her back, over." Aussie stated.

The figure scoffed. "Back to that scrap heap with those pansies? Heh, in your dreams Auss, I'd rather be splatted here and now."

"As much as I'd love to do that, I'd have to keep you alive for information, now wouldn't I?" Aussie scowled, tapping her goggles again, the sound in them diminishing. "Ugh, what is it with you and T-41? Always with that stupid nickname."

"What can I say…" The figure said, fingering her pockets very lightly, grasping a device with multiple holes hollow holes lightly dug into it. "We have a lot in common." She threw the device on the floor.

Aussie went wide-eyed. "Cover your eyes!" All of the other Octolings shielded their eyes to protect from a potential flash, only to hear the sound of an Octoshot being fired in an odd pattern.

Looking down at the ground, they realized that the device thrown down was merely a decoy making noises and spitting out minuscule blots of ink. They stood there, and watched the hooded figure completely disappear out of sight.

"Oh my Cod, I can't believe you fell for that!" The mystery girl laughed, sprinting.

The other members of the squad slowly turned to Aussie with a gulp, then backed up in fear at the sight of steam rising from her head.

"GRRRRAAAAAHH!" Aussie took her goggles and threw it to the ground in frustration. The other Octolings were dumbfounded at first, so they followed her lead, falling to the ground, grieving their loss. This didn't bode well with Aussie, who shouted, "DON'T JUST STAND THERE, AFTER HER!"

The other Octoling's jumped up, saluted, and followed the path the currently unknown enemy to them. While they ran and tried to find the sneaky culprit, Aussie sat on the ground, face in her palms.

" _I can't believe I let C-H1 get away AGAIN. Octavio's totally gonna demote me…"_ Aussie shivered at the thought. She picked up her Octoshot, and sprinted to catch up with her comrades, a grimace ever present on her face. "Move!" She barked angrily.

A rustling noise could be heard, and the rogue figure, hood now removed, chuckled. "Too easy." Walking out in the streets, light from the morning sun revealed Octoling features. She stood, breathing in the air, and snuck away. She switched to octopus form, and slid away from her pursuers and the rising Inklings, waking up to start the day.

* * *

Back at the Bate household, the entire house was a complete mess. It only took a tiny confrontation scene's worth of time, but the house was coated in so much pancake batter, you'd think that they had tried to paint with it.

"Congrats Sharq." Tai couldn't suppress any more laughs, yukking it up on the counter seat. "You managed to create ONE edible pancake!"

True to what she said, in the middle of the entire coating of delicious batter was a solitary pancake on a discarded plate. Sharq picked it up, and raised it to the sky from under the numerous holes in the roof.

"Yeah! Told you I could make food!" Sharq exclaimed with delight, which diminished quite quickly when the plate shattered and the pancake dropped on his face, Sharq didn't seem to mind much and decided to eat it anyways. "Works for me."

Tai rolled her eyes. "Well Splin, for the security of everyone's stomach, you're gonna have to teach him how to cook later." Tai awaited some sort of answer, but was answered with silence. "Splin?"

Sharq and Tai panicked, looking around for a sign of the other Inkling. From a wall on the side of the kitchen, an Inkling covered in batter fell and landed on the floor, wiping off his covered face. "...How do you manage to spill over twenty bowls of batter in a row and keep on going?!" Splin shouted. "Seriously, if we were in a Turf War, I'm sure the other team would've completely given up!"

Sharq shrugged with a sheepish grin on his face, Splin groaned softly, and Tai giggled lightly. Probably not in that order.

A voice was heard, and it wasn't because the fourth wall had the day off. "T-41! We require your assistance tracking a rogue! Over!"

Tai groaned, and reached into her shorts pockets, carelessly tossing her Octoling goggles onto her head. "Yeah, what's up Auss? What, did you need me to do some, perimeter patrols or some ship?"

Aussie's voice on the other end could be heard quietly grumbling. "CH-1's back."

Tai grimaced, and wore her goggles around her face.

"We've been tracing her steps for a while, and we've finally spotted her. Considering you're… Cough… You know much about her, we figured we could use your expertise on this. ...Over"

"Ugh… Right, whatever. I'll be there, over and out." Tai spoke up to her goggles. They crackled a bit, then went silent. She turned to face her Inkling companions, waving nonchalantly. "See you guys later."

Splin stood up, the aftermath of Sharq's cooking attempt still sticking to him. "You know what's happening?"

Tai began to speak, but hesitated, hand on her hip. She reluctantly said, "...Not exactly. Let's just say, a threat's roaming around Inkopolis freely. Lucky."

"So, wouldn't the Octarians rather have the Inkling agents deal with this issue?" Splin questioned. Sharq on the other hand, was playing around in the batter as if it were a snow day in the park.

"Normally, we'd leave those pieces of ships to fend for themselves, but this is slightly more personal. The agents don't know about it yet, so I need you two-"

Sharq skidded to a halt, kicking up the goop.

"...To keep it on the down low, got it?" Tai stared the two in the eyes, who nodded in response.

"Sure! We weren't really official agents anyways, we just kinda got caught in this situation by accident." Sharq reminded her.

The normally lazy Octoling smiled, and saluted the two. "Great, I'll be back here later, see you two." Tai transformed into an octopus and slid over by the openings in the roof, and Super Jumped through them.

Splin watched her launch away, then kicked away at the mixture under his feet. "Uh, Sharq, I'm gonna need your help on this."

Sharq smiled widely. "Can do."

* * *

With a trash bin overflowing with breakfast, and multiple stacks of pancakes stored away from usable batter left over, the brothers had successfully cleaned up the house, although it would come to smell like the food for quite some time afterwards. They spent about half an hour lying on their beds, exhausted. Splin still was peeved that the ceiling wasn't fixed up yet.

"...Sharq." Splin spoke.

"What's up?" Sharq asked.

Splin pointed at the destroyed ceiling, sunlight streaming through.

"Oh." Sharq blinked. "Hmm, we keep missing that."

"Hope you rested well," Splin hopped off the bed, "Because we're going to earn some money to fix that."

"Aw man, grinding for money in Turf Wars again? That's gonna take forever!" Sharq moaned in agony and boredom. "Splin, let's just sell the alarm clock or something!"

The alarm clock angrily chimed its alarm, startling the bored brother.

"We're not selling the alarm clock, Sharq." Splin told him, calming the clock down. "And we're not playing in Turf Wars either. I think I have an idea that could speed things up a little…"

* * *

The pair of brothers, each donning their ever present headgear, were walking into the Inkopolis Tower, each geared up with an Inkbrush. Sharq with a standard Inkbrush, with a large odometer just sticking out the side.

"I still don't see why you keep adding those to your weapons." Splin said, poking the odometer with the blunt end of his Inkbrush Nouveau.

Sharq pat the side of the brush. "It looks nice to me. Feels like an accomplishment when I score enough splats, you know?"

Splin shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat."

The two walked into the inside of the tower, other Inklings looking at the them with condescending sneers and slight laughter at their odd choice of weaponry. Splin and Sharq rolled their eyes.

"Hey guys look, the cleaning crew stopped by!" A rather decked out male Inkling laughed.

"Match ends soon on Camp Triggerfish, might wanna get on that!" A female Inkling joined in.

The brothers seemed to ignore the all of the stabs at their, "un-freshness", patiently waiting at the entrance to the Turf War/Ranked Battle equip screen. The door opened slowly, revealing the flashy inside, Ranked Battle logos moving around the walls of the room. The two entered, still cutting out the rather rude remarks sent after them. Once inside, the both of them sat on the polished floor, waiting for the option to join a match.

Sharq breathed a sigh of relief. "This always happens whenever we try to play Ranked. I can see why the Octolings weren't exactly happy to meet us at first."

"Don't worry about it Sharq, we're just participating in a handful of matches, enough to get us the funds for the roof. Also, think of it as exercise to burn off those pancakes you ate." Splin pat Sharq on the back.

Sharq groaned, wrapping his arms around his stomach. "Don't remind me…"

A mix between a click and a beep was heard, and soon the brothers began to vanish.

"See you on the battlefield, bro." Sharq said, shaking Splin's hand.

"Alright, see you there." Splin nodded, as the two began to vanish from the room, off to the map awaiting them.

The pair of them rematerialized on a metallic spawn point, Sharq's hat dropping down on his head a little later. The map they had arrived on was revealed to be Moray Towers, a large set of… towers suspended far above the ground level of Inkopolis. Unless you had Vertigo, this map's probably one of the more thrilling areas to take place in a match. Or if the other team was entirely comprised of Splat Chargers, but that's not the point.

Splin surveyed the map, even looking down at his Gamepad for a better view. "Um… Huh." He looked up from the screen, turning around repeatedly, trying to find something.

"What is it?" Sharq tilted his head.

"Do you happen to see anyone else here? Have we entered a match where everyone disconnected?" Splin squinted his eyes, attempting to spot any other Inklings.

"Maybe… Think we should go look for them?" Sharq suggested.

Splin swung his Inkbrush rapidly, covering the area in front of them. "You lead the way."

Sharq grinned, jumping into the spread of ink. The brothers jumped down the towers, each taking turns covering the ground below, each following with a splash. After a few more hops down at least 25 feet drops (7.62 meters I believe, not sure if the conversion is accurate) mostly unscathed.

"Oof!" Splin landed at the middle of the map, Sharq hitting the ground next to him, neglecting to provide a safe shade of blue to land on.

Sharq looked up, straight towards the little Tower Control platform. Normally, both sides would be clashing if only to be splatted as soon as they reached the tower, of course, the lack of any teammates or enemies made the whole center feel oddly peaceful. Too peaceful.

Sharq's eyebrows… Eye tentacles? I dunno, they furrowed. "...Yeah. I don't get it, why isn't there anyone else here?"

* * *

"Hold onto your tentacles…" Callie began, in the Squid Sisters studio.

"It's Inkopolis News time!" Marie added in as always.

"Before we begin, we have some important news!" Callie stated.

"What is it?" Marie asked.

"Sorry to all you Ranked Battlers out there, but a few of you might not be able to participate in a Tower Control match today! We've been having some problems with the tower, and our spares our mysteriously unavailable." Callie pouted to emphasize it. "We've heard reports of an, 'Inkopolis Intruder' who may have been sabotaging us! Please report this to the authorities if you see any suspicious people!"

"Too bad, I was hoping on beating you and your car loving followers." Marie grinned. "Planes are gonna leave you in the dusty grounds, while we live the high life."

Callie's eye… You know what, let's just say eyebrows, were raised in amusement and a mock offended look. "Oh, really? In your dreams, we're just gonna run you all down, cars rule."

Marie winked at the camera. "We'll see at tonight's Splatfest, stay fresh."

The two cousins could be seen briefly walking towards each other, adopting a fighting stance, before the camera violently cut off, static clouding the screen.

* * *

"Hmm." Splin muttered, sitting on top of the tower platform.

He and Sharq had attempted to get the tower to move out of an attempt of boredom, but to no avail. No matter how hard Sharq swished the Inkbrush around or towards it, the floating block wouldn't budge. Sharq had just about given up trying to get the tower to move, when he spotted a spark fly out from the bottom.

"Huh? Hey Splin, check this out!" Sharq gestured to his brother, who dropped down by him.

"Sparks…?" Splin changed into his squid form, eyes pointing at the bottom. "Sharq, I'm gonna need a little help with this."

Sharq squinted at the bottom edge of the block, and stuck the Inkbrush underneath, acting as a bit of a wedge. Splin slid inside, inspecting the damage.

"Weird." Splin gently felt a wire, which slightly shocked him. He shook it off, tapping it again, now assured that it was broken after the second shock. _"The wire's cut. How could this have happened…?"_

A new hissing noise was heard, and Splin could see a suspicious looking box inserted among the parts of the tower. Splin reached for it, pulling it out, and inspected it. Suddenly, the tower began to rumble, and the wires began to spark.

"S-Splin, what did you do?!" Sharq frantically asked from outside. The tower began to rise.

"I don't know, I've never worked on the mechanical parts of a tower before!" Splin yelled out, the tower beginning to generate unpleasantly jumbled music.

Sharq pulled him out, as well as the Inkbrush, and looked at the tower. Colors flooded the screens, and the tower lifted up, bottom still open. The music changed to a pattern of quick, metallic beeps, dots on the screens popping up with every sound.

"We need to stop this thing." Splin remarked.

Sharq adjusted his cap, looking up. "How? It's going up pretty fast!"

True to what Sharq said, the tower was rising quickly, rivets and bolts coming loose and leaving the interior of the tower. Splin looked around for anything they could use, a light bulb flashing in his head.

He took out the Gamepad, and clicked by the spawn point.

"Get ready to Super Jump Sharq!" Splin said, reverting back to a squid.

Sharq nodded, and did the same. The two leaned back, positioning themselves, and launched themselves up by the tower, just barely catching the ledge of it and pulling themselves up.

"Whoo!" Sharq laughed in triumph, but was cut short when the tower began to rumble again. "What's going on?!"

"...S-Sharq. You remember how the tower moves in this gamemode, right?" Splin said, the tower shaking beneath them.

"...Oh." Sharq mumbled.

You guys might wanna hang onto something.

Both of them hugged the middle spire sticking out of the tower, and were whisked off, wind whistling by their ears as they dropped down from Moray Towers, grasping for dear life.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" The two of them screamed in unison, being dragged across the business districts of Inkopolis, spinning around like a top as they went.

* * *

"This is stupid." Tai stated simply.

She and the other Octolings were perched on top of a medium-sized skyscraper, all but Tai looking out for the so called, 'Inkopolis Intruder'. Tai was soaking in the rays of the sun, but was rudely interrupted by another Octoling Elite, who kept poking her with her kelp.

"Come on, T-41, get to work. I don't see why you get to be a fat lazy slob all day while we-"

Tai growled, stood up, and threw that Octoling off the top of the skyscraper, and tossed a few Splat Bombs down below after her. The other Octolings' eyes widened, and went back to searching, nervously sweating. Aussie just looked at her disapprovingly.

Tai rolled her eyes, smugly saying, "What? Oh come on, she was asking for it."

Aussie shook her head, tapping the side of her goggles. "UK-4, just Super Jump back to base."

The sound of screaming and air rushing past could be heard on the other end.

Tai whistled innocently, lying back on the building top. Aussie went back to surveying the city using her advanced goggle binocular technology, (that should be a thing in Splatoon at least) when she spotted a certain pair of Inklings flying around on a tower.

"Uh, Tai? Remember our Inkling allies?" Aussie said.

"Splin and Sharq? What about them?" Tai tipped her goggles so that her eyes were visible, a dull look in them.

"...I think they could use some assistance." Aussie gestured at Tai to take a look.

Tai blinked, and walked over, using her own goggles' built in binoculars. After about thirty seconds of just looking at them uncontrollably spinning around, Tai removed her goggles, and chuckled.

"Those two always know how to chase away boredom. Alright, let's get down there and-"

"I've spotted CH-1!" A voice rang out through all of the Octoling's goggles. "She's approximately 1.6 kilometers west away from the survey spot! Over!"

All of the Octolings, except for Tai who groaned loudly, cheered, and Super Jumped off the building.

Aussie smiled. "Understood, moving in to apprehend. Over and out." Aussie turned to Tai, who was frowning and shaking her head. "...Then we'll help them out. Tai, look, I don't like doing this either, but we have to find her and bring her to justice."

Tai reluctantly reached behind her, taking out her Octoshot. "Fine."

Aussie smiled again, Super Jumping away in octopus form. Tai looked over at the two Inkling brothers still spiraling out of control on the tower, sighing, then Super Jumped as well, down to the ground floor.

* * *

Meanwhile, the two Bates were doing surprisingly well gripping and sticking to the platform, for the most part. The tower stopped being the fastest vehicle on the planet, slowing down to that of a zipliner.

"You know, if we weren't so high up on this thing, this would be pretty fun to ride on!" Sharq yelled. The tower slammed into the side of the building, shards of glass and other debris just missing them. "J-Just need to know how to control it!"

Splin nearly slid off the front of the platform, which apparently weighed down the tower enough to move in that direction. "Oh."

Well, there's your answer.

Splin blinked, then sat back up at the center. He pulled Sharq to the center spire as well, pressing their backs against it, and suddenly the tower slowed to a halt. Splin moved his head a little to the left, and sure enough, the platform followed. Sharq did the same, and the platform sped up in that direction. The two of them stared at each other with a smile, and leaned forwards towards the ground.

* * *

"Stop right there!" Aussie yelled.

The Octoling Splatoon followed after the so called, C-H1, pursuing her through the streets of Inkopolis. They received multiple strange looks from bystanders, who Tai mostly threw out of the way or shot at if they posed a threat. None of them really did though, Tai was beating up innocents.

"Shut up voice!" Tai yelled at the sky, tossing Splat Bombs towards the rogue Octoling.

"Tai we can talk about this!" C-H1 yelped, narrowly dodging each bomb.

"Not interested, unless you plan on talking with your weapon! I'm taking you down Chi, even if it kills me!" Tai yelled, firing after Chi with rapid blasts.

"Tai…" Chi shot behind her, tripping up the Octolings following her.

"Rrgh!" Tai struggled with the rogue ink, trying to move out.

"I thought you didn't care about catching Chi!" Aussie yelled after her.

Tai fumed. "That was before I found out you actually meant her! Seriously, a year of inactivity?!"

Unfortunately for her, Chi had walked back, and was aiming her Octoshot directly into her face. Tai pulled her goggles down slowly, her face features defiant yet melancholy.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this, old friend." Chi stated, about to pull the trigger.

Until she got blindsided by a flying tower. Chi was knocked back, her Octoshot suspended in the air, and landed backwards on her ink unconscious. Tai blinked, a smile creeping up her face.

"Thanks guys." Tai stood up, hoisting Chi up and lifting her over her back.

Splin and Sharq dizzily walked off the tower, which was now a crackling, half functional mess smashed into the ground. They shook it off, Splin giving a confused yet glad thumbs up, and Sharq pumping his fist in the air victoriously.

"Victory! Us: 1, Tower: 0!" Sharq jumped up.

"Ugh… You're… Welcome, I suppose." Splin spotted Chi slung over Tai's back. "Who's the knocked out one?"

Tai looked over at the unconscious Octoling. "...She's my student."

"Wait, what?!" Sharq exclaimed. "How does even-"

"I'll explain later. Right now we gotta get her back to the Octarian base, we need to interrogate her."

"Hmm… This'll be a challenge, other Inklings will be roaming the streets, Splatfest is still going strong." Splin put a hand to his chin. "Unless…"

* * *

The entire Octoling squad had been put in boxes, and Splin and Sharq were making the extremely tedious journey to the manhole. No longer did Inklings take this as a regular occurrence, they began asking them what was inside, and if they could have anything in there.

Splin simply told the crowd, "Uh, sorry. No time to explain, right Sharq?"

Sharq nodded. "Yep, follow me Splin-" He was about to finish, but nearly tripped with a box in his hands. A resulting, but barely audible, "Ow!", was heard from inside, prompting Sharq to run, Splin pushing the pile of boxes after him.

* * *

"Lemme get this straight." Sharq started, "So, you're one of the best members of your Octoling Splatoon? Like, THE best?"

"Pretty much." Tai replied.

The entire group had converged into the Rec Room of the Octarian's Underground Awesome- Okay Tai this description won't work, it's way too long.

"Gah, what would you know about descriptions?" Tai asked.

…They were sitting down at a table inside, speaking about what had just happened, there you happy?

"Uh, so, anyways…" Splin began.

"So, I bet you want to know what happened between us?" Tai cut in.

Sharq's eyes lightened up, and he nodded. "Yeah!"

"Sharq…" Splin scolded him.

Tai raised her hand. "Nah, it's fine Splin. I figured you two might wanna know anyways." She took a deep breath. "So, most Octolings are trained together, in units. The higher ups figured this would be easier than just training us all individually, but they allowed better ranked troops to train the lower ranks, as a bit of a mentorship program. I was fifteen I think, when I first met Chi over there…"

Chi was restrained with a pair of handcuffs, sitting nearby. She raised her hands and flicked two fingers in their direction. "Hi."

Tai waved back. "Anyways, long story short, one year later, Chi and I were an unstoppable force, beating back Inkling after Inkling that dared to come across us."

"What happened next?" Sharq asked eagerly.

"...We had a difference in opinions. Octavio is pretty cool, but the way he treats some of our people as a whole was… Troublesome. We both agreed that we should ask him to stop being such a control freak…"

"I heard that!" Octavio's voice boomed across the room.

"...And this is where the problem starts. I wanted to keep on serving in the army, chill out, mostly get him to fix things peacefully. Chi wanted change right then and there, so she screwed around with as many things as possible just to ink Octavio off. He kicked her out of the Splatoon, and from then on she began to mess with us some more. I thought it was flipping hilarious at first, pranks just left and right, until a prank cost my mother a leg. Bombs were thrown, insults were launched, and we weren't as par on the same terms as before." Tai explained. "...I wanted nothing more to do with her, straying away from some of the Zapfish protection missions for awhile. Until you guys came along, showed me around, and finally, I ended up here."

Sharq's eyebrows rose in interest. "Gee. Um… Sorry about what happened…"

"You're not the one who has to apologize." Tai hissed in Chi's direction. "Yeah, but that's my story at the least."

"...Interesting." Splin yawned.

Tai swooned back. "Oh no... Was my story not interesting enough for you?"

"Sorry Tai... I'm just slightly wiped out from that tower accident..." Splin laid his head on the table.

"...Mission accomplished?" Chi smirked.

Tai muttered in disgust, then hopped off her chair. "I'll come with you two."

"Uh… Don't you have a bunk here?" Sharq asked.

Tai shrugged. "I'm lending it to Chi over here while the others interrogate her. Besides, Octavio thinks it's a good idea for me to stay up there and be the, 'eye-in-the-sky' for the other Octarians in case something huge happens."

"...Well, we really need to buy another bed." Splin said, walking off. Sharq and Tai followed, each ready for bed.

"...I think we should get back home a little stealthily." Splin said.

"Don't we always?" Tai jabbed Splin with her elbow.

"More than just stealthy. We destroyed an expensive tower, you beat up a bunch of people, and I'm sure paranoia is just bursting from everyone who spotted a squad of Octarians march through the entire city." Splin said.

"Eh, good point. Box?" Tai offered, taking out her usual cloaking/transportation device.

"Alright, let's go back home." Sharq smiled, joining Splin in a duet of yawns, Tai leaping into the box and Sharq carrying it home. ...Of course, missing out on most of Splatfest wouldn't go very well with their fully awake minds once they wake up tomorrow morning.

* * *

AN: Not MVP This Time: I tried guys, I really did. I was torn between finishing up this chapter, or securing Plane Champion for victory and glory during this Splatfest in October. But dang, I missed out. I only managed half points for Plane Defender, if I remember correctly, and I'm sorry. Future gg, or regular gg, to all once I find out the results. Thanks again to Anon360 for reviewing! This chapter was a direct result of the writing technique you were talking about, I actually had a decent Splatoon idea this time! I'll try to make more chapters like these, and have them come out a little quicker too. Anyways, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I don't know if I can rest knowing I cost Planes some points, but oh well, more for Cars! See ya later!


	19. Splin and the Inkling Girl (amiibo)

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **amiibro**

Splin laid back, a sigh of relief escaping his mouth. He was sitting in the Inkopolis Plaza on a bench, headphones around his neck, watching planes fly by and Inklings walk around the plaza. He lied there on the bench, eyes closed, peacefully breathing. After the terrifying and somehow miraculously beneficial Tower Control incident, Splin had decided to take a reasonable time off from playing in Turf Wars or the like. While Sharq was down in Octo Valley hanging out with Octarians, Splin relaxed in the city, taking in the sights and sounds.

Having a good time there, Splin?

Splin opened one eye, looking at they sky. "Nothing I have to deal with, hardly anything out of place today. Sharq and Tai haven't asked me for food, nothing weird has jumped out and threatened to splat us, I feel pretty good! Everything's nice, thanks!"

A squad of squid kids paraded out of the Inkopolis Tower, jumping as cephalopods all over the plaza. Another squad arrived shortly after, sulking and dropping high tech ink weapons to the floor in bad sportsmanship.

"Erm, for the most part." Splin observed, looking over at the scene.

Splin settled back into his seat, but quickly leaned back forward spying a glint in the pavement. Blinking, he looked over at the shimmering light, shaking his head.

" _Okay Splin, this is your chance. Just let the curiosity die down, don't walk over to the-"_ Splin stood up off the bench. _"...Thanks for having self-control."_

He walked over to the glint in the ground, and crouched down as a squid, inspecting what appeared to be a trophy lodged into the ground, the flat pedestal.

Splin's eyes squinted. "...What?"

With a careful hand, he picked up the trophy, and rubbed it on his t-shirt. The figure on the pedestal resembled an orange tentacled and eyed Inkling girl, no headgear seen, wearing a White Tee and a pair of Pink Trainers, poised in a battle ready position with a Splattershot and a determined smile on her face. Splin inspected the trophy, eyebrows raised.

" _This is pretty detailed."_ Splin looked everywhere, holding up the statuette. "Excuse me! Did anyone happen to drop this?" Splin shouted out to the plaza.

"NO! STOP YELLING YA SCRUB!" Moe the Clownfish answered back from inside Annie's hairs and the Cooler Heads store, Annie shyly shaking her head. Other Inklings took a quick peek at the trophy, shaking their heads as well, going back to their business.

Splin sighed. He continued looking over the little Inkling, running his fingers over some of the details. ...You know what I mean, stop giving me that look. Feeling under the pedestal, he turned it upside down, spying a small note attached discreetly underneath.

The note read, "Look to the right."

Splin's eyebrows furrowed. The vague note description confused him, but nevertheless, he looked to his right. By the ramp leading up to the Battle Dojo, a large plastic box was placed by the wall, with the words, "Splatoon", "Nintendo", and "amiibo" on it. Of course, for the sake of the very little logic this story has, let's just say that Splin couldn't read the English text written on it.

"...What the heck? Was that always there?" Splin jogged over to the large box, checking out the details on the top of the box.

The trophy Splin was holding onto began to shake gently, in the direction of the plastic box. Splin noticed, dropping it by the box in surprise. Suddenly, the statuette began to disintegrate, and Splin's eyes widened in panic, suspecting that he had done some sort of mistake. His panic state switched to intrigue and confusion when the model on the trophy became a living person. Inside of the large packaging, the figurine girl was standing, breathing, alive, at a normal Inkling's height.

"Yo! Thanks for finding me man! I was stuck in the ground forever, you don't even know." The orange Inkling girl stretched, yawning in relief afterwards.

Splin stared in bewilderment at the girl.

The Inkling girl chortled a bit. "What's the matter, never seen an amiibo before?"

"...amiibo?" Splin asked.

She paused. "Oh. Wow, you really don't know?"

Splin shook his head, still rather confused.

"Well that's cool, I'm here to teach you! The name's Ann-Gel!" She smiled.

Ann-Gel reached out her hand for a handshake, when it collided with the plastic cover of the box.

"Oh, right. That doesn't matter much, right now I probably need to explain." Ann-Gel cleared her throat. "So, I am an amiibo, like it says on the box!"

She pointed at the bottom of the packaging, Splin crouching down and looking closely.

"You can understand the writing?" Splin asked.

Ann-Gel shrugged. "...Yeah, I dunno. Just comes to me naturally for some reason. But as I was saying, I'm an amiibo! I can grant you sweet bonuses if you manage to pass my challenges!"

Splin stood in silence, thinking over the information. "...What kind of challenges?"

Ann-Gel hopped in joy, or at least hopped as high as the condensed space she was contained in allowed. "You're in? Great! Just tap the 'A' button on the Wii U Gamepad, and I'll show you some of the challenges!"

Splin's mouth gaped open. "I… Gamepad?" He frowned, checking through his pockets, albeit still not clearly understanding. He grasped for an object, retrieving the Turf War Gamepad he retained from the Tower Control Incident. "...You mean, this?"

She nodded, pointing at the set of buttons on the right side of the controller. Splin looked down, pressing the button with an "A" lightly painted on it, and a large menu of icons featuring Octarian forces popped up.

"That's interesting…" Splin said, looking over the options. "...Are you serious. Is that Tai?"

One of the boxed in choices held an Octoling with tousled tentacles. This specific Octoling waved, smiling. "Hey Splin, what's up? I'm in the Gamepad! Oh hey, you should totally choose the mission with the Octotrooper on it." The miniature Tai pointed to the upper left corner, a scared Octarian troop shaking his head rapidly.

Splin's eye twitched in disbelief, the miniature Tai laughing her butt off at his reaction.

Just go with it Splin.

"Alright…" Reaching for the back of the Gamepad, he slid out a small stylus, and gave the Octarian picture a light tap.

* * *

Splin stood underneath a dome of artificial clouds projected by panels, as well as a subterranean stalactite ceiling, on top of a green painted spawn point situated on a floating building, other floating architecture surrounding him. He reached up to check his tentacles, pulling them free off the headband he normally wore, and took one in his hand, and not surprisingly, the tentacle color was green as well.

"That was quick." Splin admitted, wrapping his tentacles back up, taking in the scenery.

"So, your objective is to get over there, to that glowing Zapfish cage and free the Zapfish. I'm sure this will be a walk in the park." Ann-Gel's voice echoed.

Splin lifted a headphone ear, finding that his voice communicator he used with Cap'n Cuttlefish was somehow placed by his ear as if he was in a mission. He placed his headphone ear down, looking down at the spawn point, he spotted a Hero Charger floating at his feet, picking it up with ease. He inspected the weapon from nozzle to trigger, nodding.

"Ah. Wait, do I have to splat Octarians to do this?" Splin asked uncertainly.

"So you know about the Octarians already? Well, you don't have to worry about much, this is just a simulation! The Octarians you'll face here aren't real, which is good because I'm sure we'd both get sued for war crimes. Anyways, get over to that Zapfish platform and finish the level, I'll have a reward for you!" Ann-Gel's voice cut out.

Splin nodded slowly, and ran forward. Stumbling upon a Super Jump Pad, he contemplated altering it, but ultimately decided to just jump in. He leaped into the swirling vortex, launching himself back out to another building. Landing safely, he immediately spotted an Octotrooper in front of him, positioned on top of a wooden box. Splin inhaled sharply, and jumped back, expecting a barrage of shots. The Octotrooper shot a round, slow blot of ink at Splin, who simply walked out of the way. Splin stood there in silence, the Octotrooper attempting to attack Splin, desperately firing the ineffective bullets, Splin sidestepping, easily avoiding the shots. The Octotrooper groaned in frustration, trying to fire one last blast, but was splatted by a single uncharged Charger shot.

"That was… Ahem." Splin shook his head. "Sorry…"

Splin continued on, rushing past unaware Octarians, try as they might, they couldn't get a lock on the briskly jogging Inkling. He didn't mind, dodging barely accurate blobs, leaping from building to building, and encountering giant keys.

Speaking of which, a harsh bang could be heard as Splin collided with one huge floating key. "Agh!" Splin fell back, rubbing his head. Growling, he swiped at the key, which suddenly disappeared. "Huh?!"

"Alright, you got the key! All you gotta do now is find the container for the key, and you'll unlock the Super Jump Pad to the next area!" Ann-Gel's voice chimed joyfully.

Splin grumbled, still reeling over his mishap with the key, spying a large metallic cylinder. He fired a charged shot at it, jumping into it as a squid and swimming in the newly created ink path, re-appearing right next to the cylinder.

"Alright… What do I need to do here…?" Splin asked himself aloud, leaning on the side of the container.

The container lifted, and faded into thin air, exposing a Super Jump Pad underneath.

"...I'm already beginning to regret my earlier choice." Splin admitted.

He cast himself into the pad, Super Jumping to the middle of the area. He landed on his feet, eyes spotting the electrical barrier encasing the Zapfish just above him, on an elevated platform. Splin looked around the perimeter, easily wiping out Octarian resistance with short Charger bursts, coming across a red crate. Smashing the crate with a Hero Charger shot, he picked up another oversized key. Upon finding yet another locked Super Jump Pad, he marched over.

"Ahh… Finally. Maybe after this I can just-"

Then a squadron of three Octotroopers ambushed him.

"AH- WHAT HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!" Splin yelled, shooting back.

Rapidly firing short spurts Charger blasts, he managed to somehow splat all three of them.

That's gotta be embarrassing for them.

"..." After a prolonged silence, Splin sighed, making his way over to the Super Jump Pad.

Leaping in for a final time, he was catapulted to the platform imprisoning the Zapfish. Splin smiled, panting slightly, assuming it would be worth the barely mentionable scuffle. His smile disappeared quickly when he realized that it was in fact just a plushie Zapfish.

"There's the Zapfish! Grab it and you're all set!" Ann-Gel's voice hummed.

Splin's nostrils puffed out a bit of smoke, and he shattered the barrier with a Charger shot, and grabbed the Zapfish Plushie.

Mission Complete!

* * *

The headphone wearing Inkling had the plushie Zapfish by his side. He shook his head, patting the head of the Zapfish lookalike.

Splin was now suddenly back in Inkopolis, by the amiibo box. The plushie Zapfish was gone, not that Splin seemed concerned, more agitated.

"NOICE! You totally nailed that challenge!" Ann-Gel congratulated him, but gulped when she saw his visible anger.

"I… What was the point of that?! You mean to tell me that you had me walk through a bunch of Octotroopers just to retrieve a stitched replica of a Zapfish?" Splin fumed, scaring the poor girl.

Ann-Gel backed up. "S-Sorry! I thought you might be interested in the rewards."

Splin huffed, calming down. "...No, no. I apologize for getting angry. I should've known things like this would happen. ...Wait, reward?"

Ann-Gel nervously grinned. "Uh, yeah. You completed the challenge, so um… Here's some coins." She held her hand out.

Splin tilted his head in befuddlement. Ann-Gel pressed her hand to the box, nodding. While this seemed absurd, he still decided to go along with it, pressing his hand against the plastic as well. Reaching back, he found a pile of coins clustered in his hand.

"Oh." Splin looked over the coins. "Um, I appreciate it."

Ann-Gel smiled, and pointed to Splin's pockets. "There's more where that came from."

Splin checked his pockets, taking out the Gamepad again. One of the boxes was checked off, and there were still multiple ones left. He sighed, looking up to his new amiibo acquaintance, who winked. Going back to the Gamepad screen he tapped on one of the other icons.

"This is going to be a long day, I can tell." Splin stated.

* * *

"Alright Splin, this time you gotta get through this Octoling held area, and save that Zapfish, you know the drill!"

"Gotcha." Splin observed his surroundings, a rendering of the Kelp Dome Turf War stage surrounding him.

He marveled at the scenery, looking beneath him. The ink in the spawn point was a light orange. Splin acknowledged this, gripping his Hero Charger and advancing forward, off the spawn point and into the fray, jumping clear off the top of the tower the spawn point was built on, landing safely on the ground. Immediately after thrusting himself into the battlefield, Octoling soldiers began assaulting him with pellets of deadly ink. Looking to his immediate left, he ran up a ramp onto a large bridge connecting throughout the entire stage. He treaded across with ease, Octoling and Octotrooper AI trying desperately to take him down, but still failed as the intelligence the game put in was not very precise. Sounds of frustration and disappointment echoed after Splin, who couldn't help but crack a cocky smile. Easily arriving at the Zapfish container, he smiled, putting one foot by another Super Jump Pad close by.

"Alright, well this seems simple enough…"

That's when an Octosniper attempted to blow his head off.

"Agh, I knew it!" Splin said, ducking for cover.

Splin switched to a squid form, hiding behind a box. The Octosniper scanned the area around him, when a Splat Bomb was tossed next to its side. The Octosniper attempted to back up to try and avoid the blast, enough to avoid getting splatted. While the bomb exploded mostly harmlessly, grazing the Octosniper, a laser sight landed steadily on the Octosniper, and a Hero Charger blast knocked him out.

"Phew. Finished." Splin stated, moving to the Super Jump Pad.

Once inside, he bounced straight up, onto the tower holding the Zapfish lookalike hostage, and shattered it with a well timed Splat Bomb, grabbing the Zapfish plushie on his way down.

"Zapfish secured." Splin said aloud. "...These missions are really getting to me."

"Nice job Splin, just twelve more levels to go." Ann-Gel's voice chimed, however, with a hint of longingness.

"...Right." Splin deadpanned in realization, but perked up at the depressed tone of Ann-Gel's voice. "Um, Ann, are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry man, just thinking. Go ahead and pick another mission when you're done with that one!" Ann-Gel spoke up, before going silent.

* * *

Splin opened his mouth to speak in hesitation, but stopped, pulling out his Gamepad. He looked to the sky worriedly, tapping another mission icon screen, and whooshing away.

After about an hour's worth of getting shot at by Octarians, who have become increasingly more accurate every new level, Splin had completed all of the challenges, with flying colors. Granted, most of the Octarians didn't do much in their power to prevent him from taking back a Zapfish, but it still worked out in the end. Ann-Gel had provided with more than enough coins to save up for repairs on his home, which let Splin rest easy. On the ground, because he was extremely wiped out from the challenges.

"Huff… Ann-Gel, I've completed them all." Splin sat on the ground, quietly panting. "Whoo. That was… Surprisingly fun." Splin smiled, looking at Ann-Gel, staring at Splin with a sad smile.

"Congrats dude. Here's your final reward." She said, pressing her palms against the plastic again.

Splin stood up, pushing against the plastic, and received a large, cardboard box, out of thin air. Splin exhaled slowly, mostly ignoring the impossible delivery.

"Huh. I suppose this might make transporting Tai easier." Splin said. "Thanks Ann-Gel."

"Open it." She told him softly.

One of Splin's eyebrows rose, and he opened the box, a schoolgirl uniform folded neatly inside, with other… Clothing materials.

"Uh… Thanks…?" Splin said slowly, red-faced.

Ann-Gel giggled. "Look underneath that, I think you'll like those better."

Splin looked back inside the box, digging under the feminine clothing with a blush. The redness in his face was replaced with clear interest, happening upon a video game cartridge, a schoolboy uniform, (again with more questionable clothes placed nearby) and a fresh looking Hero Charger.

"Wow…" Splin murmured, inspecting the cartridge and the Charger. "Thanks again, Ann…"

He turned to thank her, only for the amiibo box to be empty. Confused, Splin looked at the ground, where her statuette remained. He picked the trophy up, and turned it upside down again, where sure enough, a note was placed.

However, the note this time was different. This one read, "Thank you so much for playing, Splin. Hope the gear you got gets put to good use. I have to leave, my mission here is done. I'm so glad we got to hang out though, see you later. -Ann-Gel."

Splin's eyes widened. Placing the trophy back by the box, he expected her to reappear on inside. She didn't, still staying in a tiny trophy form.

Splin's eyes lowered. "...You're welcome." He took the trophy, and kept it safely in his pocket.

"Hey Splin!"

Splin whirled around, Sharq running towards him. Splin waved slowly, his brother arriving in front of him quickly.

"So, you're not gonna believe what we found out… Hm?" Sharq paused, his brother's face gloomy. "...What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's fine." Splin lied, not convincing Sharq in the slightest.

"I know that face." Sharq smiled reassuringly. "You always make that face when you're down. Come on, what is it?"

Splin's eyebrows lowered, his eyes closing, and opened as soon as they shut, saying, "I… Met a girl today."

Sharq's smile turned into a goofy grin. "My bro's got a girl? Niiiiice."

"...No, not like that! She uh… She had to leave." Splin sighed.

The cap wearing brother wrapped an arm around the other's shoulder. "Aww. Don't worry Splin, tons of other fish in the street! We'll find you another girl, I promise!"

"Friend." Splin corrected.

"Girlfriend? Man, you two must've hit it off quick." Sharq teased.

"Ah, shut up man!" Splin laughed, slugging his brother on the shoulder, only eliciting more laughs out of him.

The two of them transformed into squids, speedily using a Super Jump, leaving the Inkopolis Plaza behind, whooshing through the clouds.

Already miss her?

Splin soared through the clouds, saying, "...Yeah."

"Hey Splin?" Sharq asked.

Splin turned to his brother, who was looking through the cardboard box, which was hurdling through the sky alongside the two.

Sharq tilted his head. "...Why do you have girl's clothing in the box?"

Splin flushed crimson, and his tentacles sprang up in alert. "S-She gave them to me as a bonus! W-Wait! I didn't mean-"

"Man, she's looking out for my lil' bro, already prepping you for another girl! Maybe you could gift them to Tai?" Sharq grinned openly, elbowing Splin with his tentacle.

Splin's blush disappeared as he stared at his brother, and playfully whacked him with one of his longer tentacles. Sharq didn't mind much, instead laughing all the way through the sky, Splin shaking his head in a mix between amusement and embarrassment.

"And lose an eye to her for that? Yeah, that'll be the day!" Splin smiled.

Although the two brothers couldn't hear it, a small female voice was laughing as well.

* * *

"Hmm..." Tai had her hand on her chin, elbow placed on a table.

"What's wrong?" Aussie asked, appearing to be stocking supplies.

"I'm not entirely sure why..." Tai took her hand off her chin. "But I'm gonna screw with Splin tomorrow." She took off in a sprint, the sound of a kettle banging as she left.

Aussie paused, hands together in prayer. She whispered, "Oh, please don't let Tai kill those Inklings."

* * *

AN: I felt a little bad when the Splatoon amiibos' challenges were finished, there really wasn't too much to them afterwards besides that and Super Mario Maker costumes. So, I thought this chapter might reflect what an amiibo might think when their purpose is through. Although, you could probably leave them in the plaza if you wanted to. Once again, responding to reviews! Thanks to Anon360, Dread Angel, and Guest for reviewing the story! Anon360, I have to be honest once again, this story's plot is probably going to become less and less believable. I apologize in advance for any confusion. Thanks Dread Angel for the group invite, if you need anything, feel free to ask. And for Guest, thanks! But once again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to prepare for October's Halloween chapter. See ya next time!


	20. The Brothers' Octo Valley Expedition

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Octo Valley Expedition**

"Ancient weapons? Bah, the Great Octoweapons were all destroyed in the Great Turf War, there's no possibility to a surviving mech. Those Inklings up there made sure of it, twice now. Lies, nothing but lies."

"Fine, don't believe me. But if you don't at least try to put those rumors to rest, you're gonna have one heck of an Octarian uprising on your hands. What's the great DJ Octavio gonna do when he gets assaulted by hundreds of thousands of upset, questioning people who want to know if they're safe or not? Your forces aren't gonna help you then."

"...sigh. Alright, Send out T-41, tell her to rally our Inkling allies. C-H1, if you are right, you will be granted freedom, no questions asked. However, if it turns out you were lying in some sort of attempt to distract us or get our allies splatted…" An ink gun was heard cocking. "You will be eliminated."

"I swear on the honor of an Octoling. Unbind me, and I will make sure that the expedition is done thoroughly." Chi promised.

"Oh you better."

* * *

"Alright, you got your roller ready?" Splin asked.

Sharq raised his large Krak-On Splat Roller, odometer sticking to the handle, accidentally bashing the ceiling. "Yup!"

Splin looked at the ceiling with a steady nod. "...And we wait…"

The ceiling cracked where Sharq had accidentally bashed it.

"Knew it. Good that I didn't already pay for repairs." He reached for his Forge Splattershot Pro, all cleaned with a brilliant shine to ensure proper precision. "Ah, one second."

Sticking his hand into his pocket, Splin pulled out the figurine of Ann-Gel, placing it gently on the dresser.

"You're collecting figurines?" Sharq tilted his head. "She looks pretty nice."

"Um, found her on the ground in Inkopolis Plaza, no one seemed to be missing it."

"'It'? C'mon Splin!" A miniature feminine voice protested, a hint of amusement added to the tone.

"What was that?" Sharq asked.

The statuette pursed her lips, a bead of artificial sweat rolling down her face.

"Probably just hearing things, we'll talk about her later." Splin winked discreetly to the statuette, who nodded.

"Alright, well let's get going!" Sharq exclaimed, opening the doors and jumping outside.

Splin began to follow, but was interrupted.

"Psst! Splin, you're gonna tell him about me, right?"

Splin looked back at the statuette.

"Of course. Wouldn't forget about it." Splin waved.

Ann-Gel smiled. Suddenly, a Super Sea Snail and a cube sat down by her, staring at her intently. The alarm clock sat by as well, hardly beeping as if listening and waiting.

"Hello!" She greeted them, the three others sitting by, ready to listen to whatever tales she had to tell. "You dudes wanna hear a bit of a story?"

Salty hopped up and down joyfully, the cube glowing. The alarm clock stayed silent.

Ann-Gel giggled. "Alright, well it all started in a plaza…"

* * *

Both of the Bate Brothers had left their home, standing outside on the soft grass surrounding them, and Super Jumped once more to the city of squids, straight towards the manhole leading to the valley of the octopi.

"So, where exactly did Tai tell you we should meet her?" Splin asked loudly, zooming through the clouds.

"Kinda sketchy, something about meeting us in Octo Valley? She said we'd know where to go exactly, uh… That's it." Sharq finished, spinning around in the air a little, shaking away birds flying close by.

Both of them were closing in on Inkopolis Plaza, aiming for the manhole cover leading into Octo Valley, determination etched on their faces. They were just a little off this time. And by a little, I'd say, landing into the Squid Sisters' studio while a broadcast was happening, that close.

"Appreciating the helpful tips voice." Splin rolled his eyes, shaking off the landing.

The entire studio cast and crew stared at the two in a mix of shock and surprise. Marie quietly sneaked towards them, popping up from between the two, not too happy to see the two somehow enter the studio via ceiling.

"Agent A, B, what are you DOING?" She whispered irritably.

"Uh, visiting, don't mind us, we're just leaving." Splin said, dashing out of the door before they could ask him any other questions.

"Hello Inkopolis, goodbye!" Sharq waved to the camera, leaving the studio and the audience with a very confused and dumbfounded stare.

They both dashed through the studio's staircase, leaving the building soon after, quickening their pace

"Sharq, you should pick up the pace." Splin said, ducking through Inklings walking by.

"Why?"

"OMC! It's those Inklings who crashed the news!" A squeal rang out, multiple heads snapping in the brothers' direction.

"Book it brother, book it!" Splin shouted, Sharq agreeing without hesitation.

They sprinted with all of their might, a large crowd of curious news watchers following them, hastily running into the Inkopolis Plaza. They spotted the manhole leading to Octo Valley, jumping inside without a second thought, the manhole cover clattering behind them as they dropped down. The crowd stopped at the plaza, looking around confusedly, trying to find the two news crashers. They quickly gave up, and dispersed, all shrugging off another news incident once more.

Splin and Sharq landed by Cap'n Cuttlefish sleeping on his raggedy blue couch, quickly waking him. They passed by him with a very quick apology before they left, leaving him to wonder about what the youth of Inkopolis is thinking nowadays.

"Ah, probably left their fancy doodad gadget phones here or something. Squids these days..." Cap'n said, and fell back asleep.

They had finally stopped running, panting for breath placing their hands on nearby trees for support.

"Think anyone followed us?" Sharq gasped.

"No… No we're fine, they wouldn't go down into a potential sewage pipe. No one would be that desperate." Splin sighed, looking behind him.

"Alright, well Tai told us to meet up here, so I guess now all we gotta do is wait." Sharq stated.

"...Really? Here specifically?"

The area the two finally decided to stop running in was a desolate, abandoned facility, hidden in a caved in section of the valley, rocks and debris littering the ground around them. Windows contained shattered glass, loose scraps of metal from the sunken building chipped off and fell, and overall the entire place looked like a mess.

"...Reminds me of the inkslide park." Splin remarked, looking over the building.

"Yeah…" Sharq agreed.

"There you two are."

The brothers whirled around, and Tai was there, holding Chi by her armor.

"Hi Tai!" Sharq chirped.

Tai smiled, waving. She turned back to Chi, smile quickly dissipating. "We got intel from this one here that a Great Octoweapon, you know what those are right?"

Splin nodded. "Read about it somewhere, in a Sunken Scroll I believe."

Tai gave him a thumbs up. "You got it Splin. Chi says that there could be one inside, so prepare yourselves."

"Yep." Chi said.

"Don't give it any sympathy, by the way." A masculine voice called out.

Ike, I'm pretty sure your match starts soon.

A bit of grumbling could be heard, as footsteps echoed away.

Tai stared at the sky, the debatably artificial one, and shook her head.

"...Yeah, pretty much. Guys got your gear ready?"

In a synchronized effort, the two brothers revealed their weapons, Splin crouching and down and aiming down the sights of his Splattershot Pro, figuratively speaking because there are no sights, and Sharq brandishing his Roller.

"Great, so all we gotta do is storm this facility, find the Great Octoweapon, and destroy it. Once it's gone, we won't have to worry about it accidentally activating and splatting us all. If you were telling the truth, at least." Tai shot a glare at Chi.

Chi sighed. "Tai, please relax. I'm telling the truth, look." She took Tai's hand off the suspenders on her back. "I'll go in first, and you guys can follow behind me closely."

Tai scanned her face closely, and reluctantly gestured to the building. Chi smiled, patting her on the shoulder, and went inside.

"Well? Let's get moving you two." Tai said.

Sharq excitedly hopped ahead in squid form, Splin and Tai following him in. The building's interior looked just as decayed as its exterior, various shelves and vials of sorts lying broken on the tiled floor. Papers covered the areas untouched by the debris, all detailing some sort of machine. Splin reached down to inspect one of the papers, eyes squinting to perceive.

"'Initial drill prototype unsuited for proper use drilling use'?" Splin read aloud.

He reached for another paper, reading it.

"'Fuel supplies running low, electricity considered as substitute'... Fascinating. This must have been a research center for Octoling weaponry of sorts."

Splin began gathering the papers, stacking them all neatly. He looked to his left, Tai and Chi watching him with a smirk.

"What?"

"Heh, you totally remind me of one of the Octarian researchers that used to walk around the base." Chi pointed out.

"...Yeah. You actually do. Hang on one second."

Tai looked around, spotting a pair of slightly chipped glasses on a counter. She picked it up, quickly placing it on Splin's face. Splin blinked, adjusting the glasses.

"Uh…"

Tai and Chi gasped in mock surprise.

"It's like the splitting image!" Chi elbowed Tai, who responded in kind.

"Pfff, you're totally right!" Tai laughed.

"Professor Splin, what lesson shall you be teaching us today?" Sharq joined in, the three of them sitting on the ground, pretending to be interested.

"Ha ha." Splin coughed, placing down the glasses, when he noticed something in the of the facility.

A large set of indoors hangar doors was half open, though the doors were slightly bent and rusted. Splin motioned at the three to follow him, but found that they were too busy laughing and playing around with some of the facility's relics. He rolled his eyes again, going to the hangar doors, still retaining the project papers. Peering through the opening, he saw a large object under a tarp, presumably a research project. He walked slowly, approaching the tarp, gulping down a hint of fear.

" _What exactly were the Octarians researching here?"_ He thought, stepping directly in front of the object.

Curiosity overtook him, causing him to duck underneath the tarp, and get a better view of the object. What he saw next had him stop in terror and wonder.

"...Wow."

Splin stood underneath a huge drilling machine, the largest drill, about 20 feet tall and 20 feet wide, (6 meters on both sides if this calculation is correct) large treads serving as the movement options. A large rocket booster was attached to the side, a bit of dried oil inside the barrel, as well as two headlights. What terrified Splin the most was the fact that a wilted tentacle was sticking off the top, where a shattered glass dome was.

"What is this thing?"

The tentacle sticking out began to twitch.

"Gah!" Splin jumped back.

The headlights started to blink, a purplish light falling on Splin. Shining on Splin, the tentacle began to twitch more violently, and the drill began whirring.

"...No way…" Splin whispered, turning back and running away.

* * *

Back in the research labs of the facility, Sharq was balancing a glass vial on his head, while the two other Octolings were shifting through cabinets searching for any indication of a Great Octoweapon.

"Blueprints, blueprints, dust, blueprints…" Tai repeated.

"Weird. I was sure that we'd find the Octoweapon here…" Chi looked up. "Hey wait, where's that other Inkling?"

Sharq dropped the vial into his hand, and set it down. "...Oh yeah! Where is Splin?"

The aforementioned Inkling was making his way outside, panicked.

"Dude? What's got you running?" Sharq asked.

Splin pulled Sharq outside with him, motioning that the others should do the same.

You should really listen to him.

"We haven't even finished trying to find the Great Octoweapon! Don't be lazy Splin, this is coming from me." Tai pointed her thumb at herself.

A revving sound could be heard. Splin's eyes widened, and he gathered everyone as best he could and pushed them outside, much to their protests. They stood on the ground, glaring at Splin, who was flipping through the research papers.

"Okay, what is the big deal?! What's so important that you need to-"

The drill Great Octoweapon burst out of the facility, completely destroying it. The headlights shone down on the four of them, and the drill began to spin rapidly.

"Oh."

We tried to warn you.

The booster on the side lit up, large smoke and flames erupting, and the machine attempted to ram them.

"Duck!" Splin yelled, rolling out of the way, the others doing the same.

The Great Octoweapon barely scraped them, making large tread tracks in the earth as it went. Tai and Chi had rolled to the left, taking out their Octoshots to shoot it, but to their surprise, their ink would only bounce off the machine, a small light pattern acting as cover each time they tried to hit the machine. Surprisingly, the machine whirled around to face them quickly, the headlights flashing once more. The treads revved, as well as the drill, the entire machine barreling at them at high speeds once more.

"This thing is fast!" Sharq accurately observed.

"How's it still working this well after so many years of inactivity?!" Tai wondered aloud, tossing a Splat Bomb at the large tentacle sticking out. The tentacle slapped it back, the bomb exploding harmlessly on the ground, much to Tai's annoyance.

The machine attempted to tackle the Octolings once more, skidding to a halt once it missed again. The headlights flashed menacingly, then dimmed in a sense of confusion when it noticed a loud banging sound on its side. The tentacle poked out, appearingly sensing for trouble. Sharq once pounding the side of the machine with his roller, frustrated.

"Yah! Tah! Take this!" Sharq cried out with each slam.

The Octoweapon spun around, knocking Sharq to the side easily.

"Ooohg…" Sharq laid on the ground dizzily, shaking it off fast and jumping back into the fray.

Splin reached a page in the research notes, reading aloud. "Uh… 'A-Artificial tentacle made to deflect projectiles', 'Self-sustaining energy barrier'... This machine is made to contain a nearly unbreakable defensive!"

"Great." Chi groaned. "Just when I thought I'd finally get to destroy something, it turns around and destroys us." She dodged another attempt at being skewered.

"Wait a minute…" Splin wondered, running in front of the machine.

"Splin?! What are you doing?!" Tai yelled.

"Testing something!" He yelled back, taking out his Forge Splattershot Pro and firing at the Octoweapon.

The Octoweapon turned to face Splin, charging towards him, but missed when Splin leaped out of the way in squid form. The Octoweapon harshly slowed down, but only momentarily, immediately turning back around to pursue the headphone wearing Inkling.

"Ah! That's its weakness! The treads may be well suited for movement across land, but when it tries to splat us…"

True to what Splin had said, the Octoweapon's treads were already slightly worn from the days it spent decaying. Still pushing onward, the machine tried to run them over once more, the treads screeching to a halt. Splin distracted the menacingly machine again, the Octoweapon pushing its treads to the limits to try and splat him.

"Now's your chance! Hit him from behind, and-" Splin had tripped, and was rammed by the fast moving tread, sprawling onto the ground with a moan.

"SPLIN!" Sharq and Tai yelled out.

"Oh no!" Chi said, earning a glare from the other two. "S-Sorry, I don't know him very well!"

Sharq went over to assist his fallen brother, Tai and Chi launching Splat Bombs at the back of the Great Octoweapon. The bombs fell through the weakened back of the mechanical monstrosity, a whirring noise from the bombs and a small ink explosion rupturing the machine, now smoking rather profoundly. The tentacle on the top began to flail violently.

Sharq let Splin placed by a tree gently. "Take a rest Splin, I've got this guy!" Splin coughed a bit, nodding.

Sharq Super Jumped as a squid, just above the tentacle, which froze dead in its tracks.

"FINAL ROLLER SLAM DUNK…Uh, MOVE!" Sharq yelled, bringing his roller down on the Octoweapon's tentacle, which began to spray ink. The tentacle wilted, and popped, Sharq leaped off, sheathing his roller. "Alright!"

Tai and Chi clapped, patting Sharq on the back, when they all remembered another Inkling.

"Splin!" They ran to the fallen Inkling, who was blinking, papers still in his grasp.

"You feeling alright?!" Tai asked, putting two fingers to his neck. "...Well, he's still breathing at least." (By the way not 100% sure how Inkling anatomy works, just going to wing it)

Splin coughed. "I-I'm fine." He got up to his feet, only to drop again quickly. "Just need to get back on my feet."

"You're not fine! You just took the hugest tackle in the history of Inkling kind!" Sharq exclaimed.

Splin chuckled. "Pretty sure not the hugest… Did you destroy the Great Octoweapon?"

Tai pointed to the smoking heap of scrap metal that was previously a huge threat. "Yeah… You'll be fine, we just gotta get you back to the base."

"Wait! You didn't d-destroy it completely. It's still in one piece." Splin's eyes widened, attempting to hop away as a squid, only to lie on the ground tiredly.

"So? Doesn't matter, we need to get you home!" Tai grunted, lifting him up and carrying him over her shoulder. Chi stared in wonder, but backed up when Tai snarled at her.

"That's not what I meant, I just found something out, this thing has a timer built inside it that will…"

A loud beeping interrupted him. All four of him stared in horror.

"LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!" Chi cried out, Tai and Sharq nodding in agreement.

The three of them, Splin being carried, tried to dash away, the broken machine exploding behind them, the blast pushing them.

* * *

They were suspended high above the kettles of Octo Valley, Tai and Chi preparing for a harsh landing.

Sharq suddenly smiled.

Splin looked at him, with a puzzled look.

Sharq simply sang, "Cool squids don't look at explosions~"

Splin sighed.

* * *

Lucklily, all four of the adventurers conveniently landed by the kettle leading to the Octarian base. The kettle opened up quickly, a worried Octoling and Octocopter popping out.

"T-41! C-H1! Are you two unharmed?" Aussie asked, staring at the two.

"We're fine." They answered unanimously.

"And what of are Inkling comrades?"

Splin stood shakily, leaning on Sharq for support. Sharq gave a wink and a thumbs up, Splin waving with a painful smile.

"Oh thank goodness." Aussie sat back in relief.

Jerry inspected the two Inklings. "Are you guys okay? Splin- I mean, Agent B looks like he's about to faint"

"Well, Splin nearly got run over by the Great Octoweapon, but for the most part he's fine." Sharq grinned, elbowing Splin. Splin fell down on the ground with an, "oof.", Sharq picking him up worriedly.

"The Great Octoweapon? The explosion, then…"

"Yep." Tai said. "Chi was telling the truth. We've also extracted a couple files, thanks to Splin here."

Splin handed over the data he had found, Aussie going over the information.

"We commend you for your service, Inklings." Aussie saluted them.

"Think nothing of it." Splin gasped. "I-It's our pleasure."

"Oh boy. We better get you home!" Sharq said, slinging Splin over his back, who hardly protested.

"...Gotcha. Bye…" Splin waved exhaustedly to the Octarians, and passed out on Sharq's back.

"I'll come with you too, nemutai, oyasumi nasai guys." Tai yawned, but was stopped by Aussie.

"Hold on Tai, Octavio wants to talk to you. You too Chi."

Tai and Chi looked at each other, Tai sighed and Chi smiled, the four Octarians waving goodbye to the young Inkling brothers-in-arms.

* * *

Cap'n Cuttlefish stood waiting outside his shack, waken up again by the sound of explosions, when the two brothers from before walked by.

"Agent A? What happened to Agent B?"

"We fought an Octoweapon!" Sharq stated victoriously, Splin snoring lightly on his back.

"Really?! Why didn't ye tell me?"

"Sorry Cap'n, we were in a rush to stop it! Besides, I need to get Splin home, he's beat from helping me beat it!" Sharq pumped his fist up in the air, waving goodbye.

The Cap'n sighed. "Alrighty then. Next time though, notify me and the rest of the agents! We'll be there lickedy split!"

"Thanks! See ya!" Sharq said, transforming into a squid, still carrying the unconscious Splin squid. The both of them jumped through the manhole, back into Inkopolis, ready to rest for another day tomorrow.

You did good today, Sharq.

"Really?" Sharq said, bursting out from the manhole, several pairs of eyes turning to him when they heard the noise.

Well, for the most part.

"Uh…" Sharq stopped, several Inklings waiting and watching. "...Hello Inkopolis! Goodbye!" He stated, Super Jumping, carrying Splin, cheers and applause sent after him, oddly. "Inkopolis is actually kinda weird."

You don't even know the half of it.

* * *

"You two did a great job shattering that record of a weapon!" Octavio laughed heartily, Tai and Chi standing by smiling.

"Of course, what else would you expect from a 'master'?" Tai bragged, juggling an unactivated Splat Bomb.

"Ah. Well, er… That's what I wanted to speak to you two about. T-41…" Octavio looked directly into Tai's eyes, in a official way not in a creepy way, and stated, "You will be tasked with mentoring C-H1 again."

An awkward silence filled the room. Tai looked over at Chi, who nervously smiled and waved her fingers just as nervously.

"...As long as I get to do awesome stuff like that." Tai grinned.

Chi's eyes sparkled. "Really?!"

"Just don't blow off my mother's spare leg, or the Inklings'." Tai said, patting her on the back.

Chi fixed up her tentacles, clearing her throat. "Thank you Octavio, thank you Tai! I-I mean, cough, this isn't freedom, but whatever. Tai, don't get in the way or I'll mess you up!"

DJ Octavio smirked. "Good. Dismissed, I gotta go mix up beats for a celebration, see you later." He floated away in his giant DJ octopus robot like a boss.

Tai huffed, albeit still grinning. "...Likewise."

The two Octolings walked away, to the same room. Inside, the room was enlarged to include a second bunk.

"...Welcome home Chi."

Chi jumped on the spare bunk, flipping under the covers as an octopus.

"Good to be back…" She answered quietly, slightly muffled from the blanket sheets.

Tai sat on her bed, snuggling in the sheets, but shifted uncomfortably.

"...This bed sucks compared to the one at Splin and Sharq's house."

* * *

AN: Scrapped Content: Apologies for the delay, I had… Work… To do. ***cough Yoshi's Wooly World cough*** I had an idea for a Great Octoweapon boss fight like this on Miiverse, but then I realized that compared to some of the other boss fights, it would seem pretty lazy and unsuited compared to them. But enough about my life, let's talk reviews! Thanks again to Anon360, and thanks Mr. Loner for reviewing! Ayyy right back at ya, Anon! Mr. Loner, appreciating the artistic view on that chapter! Anyways, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to ACTUALLY prepare for the Halloween chapter. Stay spooky!


	21. The Brothers and the Haunted Mansion

Happy Halloween: I thought I'd get into the holiday spirit and write a little Halloween chapter. Unlike some of the more, "story-driven" ones, this one will be more of a freelance chapter. Of course, the last one wasn't as story driven either… But oh well. Hope you enjoy it! (Also thanks again to Konami but pls don't sue me I'm doing a few more MGS references)

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

" **What's a Skeleton?"**

In Inkopolis, the night was luminous. The entire city was bustling, Inklings of all ages were prepping for an event many had been patiently awaiting. In the classic traditions of Allshallowtide, on this day of Shalloween, a classic festival celebrated by Inklings based on a certain human tradition, everyone would be busy. Adults were emptying their wallets with a sigh, purchasing buckets worth of sweets for the clamoring little squids who would hop from door to door, everyone having a grand spooky old time, with themes of horror and supernatural decking each doorstep.

Yep, it's a Halloween special.

Sharq smiled. His costume for the year was finally complete. Granted, he wasn't out for mere sweets or treats, no. Tales of haunted mansions and treasure allured him, and what better way to enjoy the spirit of the holidays and adventure during them than by dressing up all fancily?

Of course I'm not sure what stacking red plastic cups onto a box means as a costume, but oh well.

"It's gonna be great voice, a costume to surpass every costume in the universe!" Sharq exclaimed proudly, holding up his "costume". "The robot disguise of the century!"

Sharq held up a small box, two plastic red cups taped to the front to serve as the eyes, a large opening for a mouth, and a wire clothes hanger attached to the top, presumably to act as an antenna. The decorated box lied on his bed, the house decorated with festive spooks and such. A ghost would periodically pop out of Salty's feeding bowl, much to his dismay and appetite each time he decided he wanted a snack. Ann-Gel in amiibo form sat patiently, a little mummy wrap costume wrapped all around her, eyes peering out mischievously. Even the alarm clock was getting into the spirit, sitting by with a witch hat placed on top of it.

The clock chimed menacingly.

Sorry, make that a warlock hat.

The alarm clock sat contently, or as contently as a slightly sentient clock could sit. Sharq turned his box masterpiece around, inspecting the entire thing over and over.

Hmm, well, I wouldn't say it would rival R.O.B, but nice effort.

"Eh, I think it looks okay." Sharq stuck the box on his head, and started making robot noises. "Beep boop, I'm the best robot ever!"

Tele-Cube sitting by sprouted large circular saws, waving them menacingly.

"Uh… I got nothing on you of course! Heh heh…?"

The saws shrunk back into the cube, which answered with a friendly beep, the screens shifting to screensavers of blinking ghosts. Sharq smiled nervously underneath the box, and went back to adding the finishing touches to his completely amazing costume.

"Sharq, I still don't understand why you want to wear costumes so much. Aren't we sort of outside the age limit for Shalloween?" Splin's voice came from underneath the stairs, inside of the inconveniently placed washroom. "If anything, this gives us a better chance to do other things with our time now that the populace of Inkopolis doesn't get involved much with us, especially during a holiday like this."

"Come on man, Shalloween spirit!"

Splin groaned from inside the bathroom. The door could be heard being unlocked from the other side, and it opened slowly, a certain cardboard box walking out shyly.

"...You're using a box too?" Sharq asked. "Huh, well, let's get going! We're supposed to meet Tai later."

"Uh… Truth be told, not really too excited to be roaming out in my costume." Splin said nervously, sitting down in the box.

"What? Oh come on man, that box is pretty cool! You're just making the box work!" Sharq pounded his fist on his other hand's palm lightly. "I don't see what's too wrong with it, it's a simple concept."

"No, this box isn't the costume. ...What I'm wearing underneath is. Got the concept from a dream, and I… Honestly spent a while on it, but I don't really know if I should…"

"Dreams? Well, it can't be too bad. What was it about?"

Uh oh, here come the flashbacks.

"..."

* * *

"Kaz?" Splin whispered concerned.

Splin reached for a bag wrapped around his ally's head, pulling it off, revealing a severely beaten Inkling Kaz, gasping from the sudden change of lighting. Multiple bruises surrounded his eyes, blackening the area around it even more so than usual Inklings.

"No more use for me, huh?" Kaz stated weakly.

Splin grabbed Kaz's head with both of his hands, having him face him more clearly. His left eye was shut, scars darkening the area around it.

"Kaz, it's me." Splin said, staring straight at his face. One thing different about Splin's appearance now was that his right eye was covered by a black eyepatch wrapped around his head, and several pieces of shrapnel were embedded just above that eye. His trademark headphones were missing, replaced with a large scarf. "I'm here to get you out."

"Splin…" Kaz murmured.

"They do something to your eyes?" Splin questioned him, analyzing his injuries.

Kaz looked down. "No it's… It's just bright is all."

Splin looked up, seeing the older Inkling's solitary wrist tied to a pipe via handcuffs. He reached for them, unlocking them with ease, and a sigh of relief came from Kaz. Splin sat back down by Kaz, and pulled out a pair of 18K Aviators. Carefully, he set them on Kaz's face, who adjusted them using one lone arm.

"...What took you so long?" Kaz smiled wistfully. "...Tell the readers that we're sorry we used this reference more than once."

* * *

Sharq stared at the cardboard box Splin crouched in, Splin still silently thinking about his odd encounter with his companion during his sleep. Sharq cleared his throat, the box perking up a bit.

"Hmm? Oh, apologies. It was just a meeting with a friend."

"So… Your costume." Sharq reiterated.

"...Right." Splin muttered. The box rustled a bit, then fell apart, all sides of the boxes falling flat on the floor. Splin had donned the same eyepatch from his dream, albeit without any shards of metal sticking out above him. He also had on the large scarf that covered his neck and most of his right shoulder. He was lined with straps, buckles, and pouches on a gray patterned uniform, his N-ZAP '85 at his right leg's side hidden in a holster. Expendable looking boots were placed on his feet. Even his left arm was decked out, decorated to appear like a prosthetic limb, painted red. Despite his new attire, he still wore his Designer Headphones around his neck, timidly holding onto them.

Sharq stared in awe. "...Outside the age limit huh?" Splin rubbed the back of his neck. "Must've been one heck of a meeting!"

"Yeah… Didn't exactly understand what it was about either... But uh… Sorry readers, I guess…?" Splin stated uneasily. "Hmm."

"What's wrong?" Sharq asked.

"Err… Nothing, nevermind. How's your costume coming along?" Splin asked back.

Sharq smiled. "Finally finished!" Sharq had on his cardboard robot hat, his smile still beaming through the hole he cut in, a small pair of dryer hoses were worn on his arms, and his feet were stuck in two shoe boxes, tape stuck on the boxes' tops to prevent them from being lifted off. "Amazing right?"

Splin stared. "It's… Something. Hey, you put heart into it, right?"

Sharq sulked momentarily. " I know it's not the best, but just bear with me man. Yeesh, you're about as good as cheering me up as Dad was."

Splin chuckled. "Guess I inherited more than just his house and basic genetic code. Alright. So, you ready to go?" Splin gestured to the trapdoor they hardly used in this story.

"You know it!" Sharq cried excitedly.

The two of them climbed the stairs up to the roof, coming to the trapdoor. Opening it up by pushing upwards, the trapdoor flung open, and the two walked up onto the top of the house, taking in the sights of Inkopolis and the hills at night. Shutting the trapdoor again, they turned into squids, Splin's eyepatch still attached, and flew off towards the plaza.

* * *

Splin and Sharq landed a little too accurately this time, and dropped directly into the manhole leading to Octo Valley, a the cover clanging extremely noticeably. Luckily for them, the fresh youth of Inkopolis was too busy fawning over Callie and Marie's adorable costumes of ghost sisters.

"Love this time of year! The fans are so sweet, just like the candy!" Callie beamed, being showered in treats from her adoring fans. Oh don't you dare give me that look, you know what I mean.

"Yeah, it's pretty sweet getting suckers over here." Marie said, a lollipop clenched between her teeth with a grin that caused multiple fanboys and fangirls to go nuts. "Gramps seems to be doing pretty fine too."

Cap'n Cuttlefish had joined the two in celebration, sitting nearby with a pirate outfit, giving out free candy to the crowds, without any suspicion of relation to the popstar duo.

"Heh ha! Happy Shalloween ya whippersnapper." Cap'n stated, giving some chocolates to a group of young squids in ghoulish costumes.

* * *

While everyone else was celebrating the whole, "Hey-you're-wearing-a-costume-here's-some-sweets" festivity, Splin and Sharq had arrived at the kettle leading to the Octarian Base in Octo Valley, both slightly shaken from the rough landing.

"Just realized something, so what does Tai find interesting in this holiday anyways?" Splin turned to Sharq, who could be seen mischievously smiling a bit from inside his box head. "...Sharq."

"Huh?"

"What did you say to her?"

"Oh, nothing much. She stopped by a while ago, and she took interest in something we had, so I decided to gift it to her."

"...Gifted what exactly?"

The kettle popped open, and Tai hopped out from it, although she looked slightly different.

"Oh my Cod you didn't." Splin glared, not amused in the slightest.

Sharq laughed hysterically.

Tai was standing in front of them, garbed in the schoolgirl outfit Splin had been gifted. She had her hands on her hips, grinning evilly.

"'Sup guys?" Tai waved, giggling just as evilly. "Thanks for lending me this Sharq! Looking good, both of you!"

Splin clutched his head. "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN-"

"Hey man, she's the one who wanted it." Sharq stifled laughter at his brother's discomfort.

"Yeah, I don't see what's wrong with it." Tai leaned against Splin, who backed up far in response.

"It's not the outfit, I don't get why you people keep messing with me using that!"

Sharq stepped over by Splin and patted him on the back. "You still haven't told us who you got personal with. So we're gonna keep messing with you using her gift."

"You woke me up early for Shalloween! It literally starts at night."

"Ah ah ah, no excuses Splin!" Tai said, jumping on Splin's back. "After all, you really need it for that awesome costume. Where'd you get it?"

Splin wobbled back and forth. "Made it myself, got it from a dream, can you please get off of me?"

Tai leaped off his back, chortling repeatedly.

"S-So why did you want to meet us here?"

Tai pouted sarcastically. "Aww… You mean I can't meet up with my two best Inkling friends? That's so meeeeeaaaaann…"

"Oh, shush." Splin deadpanned.

"So, you guys ready to go explore a haunted house?" Sharq asked, one eye closed and raising his right arm sideways.

"...That's what you wanted us to dress up for? To go exploring a building infested with spirits?" Splin remarked, looking away. Then his eyes popped open. "Wait, what haunted house? How do you even know about that?!"

Tai leaned on the side of the older brother's shoulders. "Tell him Sharq."

"I heard a rumor about one on the Internet!" Sharq stated with a carefree smile. "Once each Halloween, it seems that a mysterious house appears on the edge of Inkopolis. I was hoping we could go and try and find it!"

"...Sounds like you should call someone for that, actually." Splin muttered with a shake of his head.

"Like ghost professionals?" Sharq elbowed Splin lightly.

"No, for whatever area of your mind decided this would be a good idea." Splin remarked with a shake of his head.

* * *

Somewhere in Inkopolis Plaza, Marie smiled lightly.

* * *

"Splin, come on! We all know that it's probably not the best idea, but since when have we been able to do stuff like this by ourselves since we were kids?! Certainly not me, I had to watch over you when you were still a squid! This is the time where we can do anything! Please, just go along with me willingly this once, and then I promise, I'll probably… Maybe… Will talk you into stuff like this less!" Sharq offered with the largest puppy-dogfish eyes he could manage.

Splin turned around to Sharq, a bit of a waiting for an answer look etched on his mouth. Splin's eyes lit up in a somewhat of a newfound pride.

"...Since when did you write speeches?" Splin asked.

Sharq smiled. "...Well?"

Splin reached into his pockets, pulling out his phone that he hardly uses. Looking on the screen, he checked the time.

"8:58. Hmm."

Splin put the phone back into his pocket.

"Where are we headed, then?"

Sharq's robot face lit up, or at least it would if he had lights installed inside.

"Follow me, ladies and gentlemen!" Sharq said, parading away, but was stopped by Splin.

"Hold on, Robotic Operating Brother." Splin stopped him.

Sharq looked behind to his brother.

"How are we gonna get Tai outside here without anyone spotting us?" Splin asked.

The two looked to Tai, who had her hand under her chin in thought.

"...I actually might have an idea…" Tai said.

* * *

The three had left the manhole, each jumping out in their respective sea life forms, the city of Inkopolis still shining rather brightly despite the fatigue of the populace. Splin looked around as best as he could with his one eye, the plaza emptying out to follow the Squid Sisters as they walked away.

"Coast is clear, let's move." Splin stated, motioning to walk ahead. "...Although I still doubt people will just let an Octoling pass by unscathed."

"Trust me Splin, if what you guys say about this holiday is correct, none of these kelp for brains will even notice I was ever here." Tai smirked wickedly.

They all slid carefully as cephalopods, making sure to stick behind any cover they could. Jumping from barrier to bench, they seemed to be home free, until…

"What are you guys doing?"

"!" Splin inhaled sharply.

The group froze, Sharq and Tai hopping away, leaving Splin behind. Splin sighed, reverting to kid form, reaching for his holstered N-ZAP gun, but halted when he noticed it was just Willie and Zip, clothed in a matching pair of waiter and waitress uniform, stained with artificial blood.

Splin coughed, taking his hand away from the gun and raising it in a friendly wave. "Ah. Hello Willie, Zip. ...Fallen waiters?"

Willie's face beamed. "Yeah man! You see, Zip and I got this little restaurant business going, and we couldn't find good costumes for Shalloween in time, so…"

"We just went with our work clothes. ...The stains are really just side effects to our jobs." Zip explained, rubbing off some of the tomato still sticking to her clothes.

"Ah."

"So, who's the other lady you were squidding around with?" Willie asked, pointing behind him.

Sharq popped out nervously behind the Battle Dojo.

"Not you Sharq, the one behind you!"

"...How did you notice me?" Tai's voice asked from behind Sharq.

"Saw you crawling alongwith the other squids, girl! Come on out, don't be shy!"

" _...Really hope this works."_ Splin thought.

Sharq and Tai walked out casually, but secretly had their minds on an escape plan, hardly noticeable beads of sweat dripping down their faces. Splin bit his lip, fingers crossed. They received a completely unexpected round of applause.

"Octoling Schoolgirl? Niiiice." Zip commented, looking over Tai's "disguise".

"Um, thanks! You look pretty good too." Tai complimented back. _"That was easy."_

"What's your name?" Zip asked.

"Tai, yours?" Tai inquired.

"Zip, the guy over here is Willie, and I'm already guessing you three know each other?"

Splin, Sharq, and Tai looked at each other simultaneously, then nodded.

Willie grinned. "How'd you guys come up with those costumes? Seriously, they look pretty cool! The soldier, Octo-schoolgirl, and robot!"

"Yes!" Sharq pumped his fist.

"It… Just came to us." Splin stated plainly.

"Meh, I've seen better. Hey scrubs, wanna see how AWESOME my costume looks?"

Splin blinked. "Oh boy."

Lo and behold, Ari, egotistical as always, was posing with his squadron of females, Sari, Rit, and Bas, once more. The four of them all had on a red beret, a black uniform, and rather fancy boots with spurs. Ari was spinning what appeared to be an ink revolver, doing cool little tricks with it.

"Hah, what are those clothes? Nice box, Sharq!" His companions chimed in with raucous laughter.

Sharq waved energetically.

"Uh, Ari, apologies but I think we need to be… Somewhere." Splin walked away, only for Ari to block his path.

"Oh yeah?! Can the place you're going to do THIS?!" Ari spun the revolver, throwing it into the air, catching it with his index finger and twirling it once more. A small ink bullet fired accidentally, everyone hitting the deck in response, the bullet ricocheting until it landed somehow unharmed into Ari's palm.

Splin looked over at the three accompanying him, who shrugged, just as confused as he was.

"T-That's pretty cool, but we should really be going." Splin stated.

"Mind if we tag along?" Zip asked, Willie nodding agreeingly. "We really don't have much to do."

Sharq gave them a thumbs up. "Sure! The more the scarier!"

Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to make puns!

"Sorry voice, couldn't help it!"

"Alright, let's get a move on before it gets too late, or before blabbermouth's head begins to inflate with hot air." Tai said, the entire group leaving the plaza.

Ari stood there, eyes closed, still twirling his revolver. Sari cleared her throat, getting his attention, and pointed to the fleeting audience.

"Wha?! Get back here, I wasn't finished!" Ari cried, his small group chasing after the others, who at this point had picked up speed, shifting into aquatic creatures and Super Jumping away into the night, completely leaving him out of the story. "Son of a squitch!" Ari shouted, angrily playing around with his revolver.

* * *

The five Inklings plus rather obvious Octoling stood in front of a decayed house, moss growing everywhere, windows shattered, and the ever present bats patrolling the skies above. Oddly placed tombstones were erected in the grass surrounding it, a path leading inside an enclosed gate around the mansion, barely a gate anymore due to the weathering

"...Sharq, you really know how to pick shady locales." Zip observed, kicking away at a rock.

"This is the place I've been talking about! Tai and I both agree that there's probably treasure inside! Besides, it's Shalloween, so it must have SOME credibility now, so let's go!" Sharq stated proudly, running forward to enter.

Splin held Sharq back by the box he wore on his back. "...I have made some extremely stupid decisions before. I have followed you into that inkslide park since day one, but I am in no mood today to go in and get splatted. Nice try Sharq, but we're not getting mixed up in that."

"C'mon Splin, where's your sense of adventure? Listen, if you go in there right now, we happen to find treasure, and extract it, you'll get one fifth of the keep, simple as that, whaddya say?" Tai enthused "treasure", but Splin still refused.

"Tai, have you gone insane?!"

"I've always been a little insane, Splin, you know that very well." Tai retorted, closing her eyes.

"..."

Splin looked over at Zip and Willie, who were looking at the house rather excitedly, and looked back at him with a cheerful expression. Splin sighed, inspecting the exterior of the house.

"I guess not much can go wrong in a house like this…"

A clap of thunder quickly shifted his opinions again, and he attempted to convince them that this was just a disaster waiting to spring into action, groaning when he realized they had already decided to run inside. Splin groaned, quickly following after them, when he tripped over yet another thing on the ground. Splin turned back quickly, spotting something white take ahold of his leg. He kicked at it, rattling the unknown object. The strange appendage squeezed his leg tighter, the ground shaking. Suddenly, a large white skeleton erupted from beneath the ground, still holding onto Splin's leg.

"...Click." The skeleton chirped, making the only noise it could with its lack of vocal chords.

Splin stared at the skeleton in wonder and horror.

"Clack click, clickety clack?" It seemed to ask.

"...I don't follow."

The skeleton laid Splin down, and suddenly saluted.

"Click, clack clack." It "said", pointing him, then itself with one bony finger.

"Er."

The skeleton rolled its eyes, or at least it would if it had any, and began writing in the dirt, somehow spelling out a legible, "SKELETON", and pointed to itself.

"...Skeleton? That's what you are?"

The skeleton nodded.

"Ah. Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, but I need to wrangle my friends up before things go horribly wrong."

As soon as Splin said that, a flash of lightning struck the mansion, another clap of thunder sending Splin reeling to the ground.

"Grrr!" Splin growled.

The house was slowly catching fire, much to the discomfort of the two outside, both eyes and eye sockets widening in panic.

"Of course, what else would happen on a peaceful night like this at a deserted crumbling house!" Splin threw his hands up in the air in frustration, stopping when he noticed the skeleton staring at him unwaveringly. "Uh, no offense." The skeleton waved its hand in acknowledgement, Splin running inside the house. The mansion's insides looked just as desecrated as the outside, ruined furniture and artwork strewn about. Splin looked around frantically, the smell of smoke already breaching his nose, when he noticed the other four cephalopods run past him outside unknowingly.

"Wait!"

They didn't hear Splin, the doors shutting as they ran outside. Splin's uncovered eye twitched in irritation, then he stopped when the feel of warmth intensified behind him. He gulped, turning around expecting the room he was inside to already be engulfed in flames. Instead, he came face to face with a man engulfed in flames. Both said nothing, each inspecting the other silently. The man on fire's eyes narrowed, Splin backing up in caution. The man on fire began to shine, which prompted Splin to dodge behind a faded sofa. Behind the sofa, Splin noticed a flash of light, before a huge burst of fiery bullets rang out, the man on fire howling as it happened.

* * *

Sharq, Tai, Zip, and Willie were all on the ground outside, gasping for breath.

"That was close… I thought we'd all burn to a crisp. ...Kinda like Sharq's pancakes." Tai remarked, much to Sharq's offense.

Sharq glared at Tai, but gasped when he realized someone was missing from their party. "...Hold on, where's Splin?! He was still outside, wasn't he?!"

The entire group looked around, trying to find the Inkling, when a light clicking sound broke them out of their search. They whirled around, noticing the skeleton Splin had met a while ago.

"...Clack click?" It asked.

"Uh…" The entire group stared in confusion.

Loud sounds of fighting and bullets rang out from the house, which prompted Sharq and the skeleton to go bounding inside.

"Kiwotsukete!" Tai yelled after them, Sharq giving her a reassuring smile despite having no idea what she said. When he smiled with a very unsure gaze, she just rolled her eyes and yelled, "It means 'don't get splatted' or some bull-shrimp, I don't know!"

* * *

Splin shot at the burning man, ink bullets evaporating as soon as they touched him. He furrowed his brows, wondering how he might defeat this menace. Pillars of fire burst out of the ground next to him, Splin shifting to squid form and leaping away, landing safely. He ran back in humanoid form, he noticed a bit of a painful sensation dripping onto him. Walking down the hallway a little more, he noticed a large pipe system, broken, with a handful of water dripping down, in a ripped patch of ceiling.

"Hmm…"

The man on fire was approaching. Splin acted quickly, throwing a Splat Bomb up into the ceiling, the man on fire slowly walking towards him. Splin moved back, only to find that the corridor he had run down was a dead end. He sighed, watching and waiting, the man on fire just about to unleash another maniacal attack. Luckily, he stopped directly underneath the pipes, which exploded rather violently, water raining down on him, a groan of agony coming from the previously burning man, who laid knocked out on the floor. Splin ventilated, glad that he wouldn't turn up as a burnt piece of sushi.

"Nice work boss." He could hear MM's voice echo in his mind,

Splin perked up and glanced around. Nothing but empty halls and dusty furniture. With a sigh, he began wiping off sweat using his not-so-prosthetic arm.

"Splin!" A voice called out for him.

Splin looked over at Sharq and the skeleton, running towards him rapidly. Splin greeted them with a tired wave of his hand.

"Are you okay?! Y-You're burnt a little!"

Splin looked at his left arm, sure enough, the paint on it was replaced with burn marks, littering his skin.

"I'm fine… Hmm?"

Splin stooped down to the floor. The area the man on fire sat on was charred, although there were multiple glittering objects in his place. Picking them up, he inspected them with a careful eye.

"Diamonds." Splin concluded, looking over them.

"Wow." Sharq's eyebrows rose in interest.

"...These belong in a museum or something." Splin murmured to himself and crouched down by the glittering stones.

Rough Diamonds Spotted +500000 GMP. Ain't these references just so consistent?

"Click." The skeleton gave yet another bony salute, picking both of the two up and carrying them on his back, leaving the mansion, which still happened to be burning.

* * *

Zip, Willie, and Tai were anxiously awaiting the safe arrival of the three who had entered the mansion.

"...Where are they? I think I should go in and help 'em out!" Willie stated, starting to march into the house, but stopped when the three others dived outside onto the grass.

The house promptly exploded behind them.

"Nevermind, they got it." Willie backed up.

Splin, Sharq, Tai, Willie, Zip, and the skeleton, all gathered on the dirt path, and helplessly watched the mansion burn down.

"Shouldn't we call someone to assist with dousing the fire?!" Splin asked. The other four shook their heads.

"Splin, how would we explain how an abandoned mansion caught fire once when we're the only people around who would know? We'd look like arsonists!" Zip stated.

"I'm just concerned about the skeleton, his mansion is literally burning right now!" Splin shouted, but was met with a calm gaze from the bony creature.

"Click click, clack click." The skeleton said calmly, before its head rotated around, making a loud crunching sound as it did so. "Click… Don't worry… Clack." It managed to speak.

Splin stared in awe, the other four all nervously walking away. Soon, everyone started to run.

"...Sorry about your house man!" Sharq yelped, Super Jumping away.

"I think Aussie's calling me." Tai said, doing the same. "See ya."

"Thanks for having us." Zip said as both she and Willie winked simultaneously, all of them jumping away.

Splin stood there with an unamused glare at the four who had abandoned him once again. He sighed, looking back at the skeleton, who smiled with its bony face. Splin straightened himself out, giving a salute, the skeleton doing the same, dropping a bunch of glittering diamonds into Splin's hands.

"...They forgot the diamonds." Splin sighed again.

Splin waved goodbye to the skeleton, who waved back, and Super Jumped away, attempting to catch up with the silly squids (and octopus). The skeleton turned back to the mansion, and snapped its fingers, a shroud of fog covering the mansion, snuffing out the fire, and disappearing altogether, as the moon of Shalloween slowly gives way to the day.

* * *

Rough Diamonds [+500000 GMP]

Development Requirements Met [TELE-CUBE DIMENSION JUMPER]

Development Requirements Met [SKEL. CAMO]

Heroism +100

Codename: Squid Kid

Rank: A

"Alright, mission complete boss. Heh, Happy Halloween." MM's voice says, before cutting out.

* * *

Mission Complete: Hope you enjoyed that lengthy Halloween chapter, I promise, this'll most likely be the last huge MGS reference in a little while. Time to respond to the reviews again! Thanks once again to Anon360. Yep, puns, references, and other jokes are in store, the amiibo (a-me-bow) is doing well in their house, and all hail the spoopy skeletons. Well, that's all for today folks, thanks again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, have a Happy Halloween!


	22. Sharq's Edited Carbon Roller

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **All Rolled Out**

"C'mon Splin, please?" Sharq pleaded.

"Sharq, no."

Splin and Sharq were just chilling at home, sitting at the kitchen counters, the little sentient objects sitting closeby anxiously. A small paint roller weapon was lying on the counter, ink dripping off the main roller cover, dyeing the counter blue. Sharq sat with a pleading look on his face, with the ever classic puppy dog eyes, while Splin stared back with a rather unconvinced look, hands by his side.

"Just one buff, one little buff, that's all I ask. PLEASE?!" Sharq's eyes had achieved the maximum width eyes could possibly widen.

Splin sighed, shaking his head. "Sharq, you know I love you as a brother, but there are a lot of different things I simply cannot achieve. Besides, they nerfed all rollers in Turf Wars for a reason, would you want to get splatted in one lucky fling?"

"I would!"

The other brother facepalmed.

Sharq laid his cheek on the counter, blue rubbing onto it. "I just don't understand why they'd do it… It feels like so long ago…"

Roll the clip.

* * *

In flashback Inkopolis, Sharq was happily walking along to the Inkopolis Tower, Carbon Roller in hand, once again opting for a odometer, humming as he went. Strangely, the odometer had a sticker of a green U.F.O., and writing scrawled underneath that read, "we are in the beam", although hardly visible. Okay that wasn't subtle at all, I apologize.

"I can't wait to splat some squidkiddos!" Sharq grinned, unaware of the reference he had unknowingly spouted.

All of a sudden, the large monitor positioned above the Squid Sisters' Studio powered on, the ever popular idols standing onscreen. Everyone in the Inkopolis Plaza held their breath, listening to every word they had to say intently.

"Hold onto your tentacles…" Callie begun as always.

"It's Inkopolis News time!" Marie added once more.

"Before we begin, some special news…" Callie said, the audience watching in suspense.

"What is it?"

The screen behind the Squid Sisters which happened to be onscreen showed a slide showing blank white text in a black bubble.

"Splatoon has had some update changes! Check the official Splatoon website for details!" Callie said.

"Yeah yeah!" Marie paused after agreeing. "Did you seriously just do that?"

Callie chuckled. "Hey, the players gotta find out somehow!"

Sharq and the rest of the plaza-goers stared in confusion at the fourth wall snoozing again on the news, but shrugged, going straight to experts and bulletins on what has changed. Sharq went inside the Ammo-Knights store in the Booyah Base, quickly asking the shop owner on the update.

"Sheldon! Sorry to bust in like this, but what exactly has changed with the new changes?" Sharq asked, carrying his roller behind him.

Rattling could be heard. A horseshoe crab popped up from the floor, wearing a tan uniform and large goggles on his face.

Sheldon adjusted his goggles. "Ah yes! Well, the gist of it is that a few weapons have been tweaked to cause less damage in Turf Wars!"

Sharq gulped. "Uh… W-Which weapons exactly…?"

Sheldon raised his index finger up in the air to explain, but slowed once he noticed the weapon Sharq had currently equipped. "...The rollers and blasters..."

No one in Inkopolis Plaza was prepared for the scream of agony that came from the cap wearing Inkling.

"I didn't even tell you yet!" Sheldon cried out in exasperation.

* * *

Splin stared at Sharq, who was still sitting by the counter, Sharq's eyes frozen in horror. Splin shook his head and snapped his fingers, but to no avail.

"Oh boy, voice I may require some assistance with this one?" Splin asked.

No problem, I got it.

A bucket fell out of the air, landing on Sharq's head, snapping him out of his doldrums.

"Wha?! …Is this a bucket?" Sharq questioned, taking the bucket off his face.

"Alright, which one of you maggots stole my bucket?!" A uniform voice cried out.

Soldier, I think the aliens stole it.

Splin and Sharq were confused by the conversation, but listened despite the oddness of it all.

"Thanks for the information! Men, we're taking back my bucket from the alien menace, move out!"

Annoyed groans and busy footsteps sounded off, fading into the distance. Sharq inspected the bucket, small slips of paper littering the floor as he tipped it over.

"Um."

Here, lemme just take that.

The bucket vanished into thin air, the slips of paper disappearing as well. The two brothers shook their heads, ignoring the confusing conversation from earlier.

"...So yeah, I just want the roller to be restored to its former glory!" Sharq cried out. "Ever since that update so long ago…"

"A few days ago." Splin corrected. "Didn't even explain your panic attack."

Heh heh.

"Rollers have lost the magic they've had. No one likes using them as much anymore…" Sharq sighed.

"Well…" Splin looked around, eyes settling on Salty and the Tele-Cube, both staring rather intently. He turned to Ann-Gel, who gave a thumbs up with her figurine hand. Even the alarm clock seemed rather agreeable today, the numbers on the digital clock flashing, "DO IT". Splin lowered his head in defeat. "You're really dedicated to this, aren't you?"

Sharq's head bobbed up happily. "Does this mean-"

"...Yeah, I'll see what I can do."

Sharq hopped up with a joyful yip, accidentally banging his head on the ceiling, which he remedied with a quick rub to the head.

"...Hmm." Splin looked over the roller weapon, spinning the roller cover. "This'll take a while."

Looking over to Sharq, he sweatdropped once he realized he was asleep on his bed, snoring the day away.

"Oh, brother." Splin groaned, now donning his headphones, placed carefully on his head, turning the volume up.

Splin looked at Ann-Gel, sitting nearby. "And this is what I have to deal with everyday."

"Ah. Don't worry about it dude, we'll give you a hand with that!"

The awake party of the house started construction on the roller, the sounds of building somehow not affecting Sharq's sleep habits at all.

* * *

Sharq yawned, stretching his arms. Getting up and off his bed, he walked over to the counter, curious of the progress.

"Morning Splin… You done with the roller?" Sharq asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

Splin was currently face down on the counter, the other objects lying dormant next to him. Ink stained his clothing, although conveniently vanished after a few seconds. Sharq reached for Splin's collar, pulling him up off the counter. The younger brother's eyes were droopy, half-shut.

"...Okay Sharq. We tried the best we could, with the limited supplies we had. Hope you enjoy…" Splin trailed off, and fell asleep.

Sharq smiled, carrying Splin to his bed and laying him there. He looked at the Tele-Cube, which nodded as best a cube could nod, and shone brightly. A revving noise could be heard from the roller, the odometer glowing brightly.

"It's all yours Sharq!" A small feminine voice called out.

Sharq looked at the Inkling Girl amiibo in surprise, putting two and two together.

"Wait, so…"

"Don't worry about it right now, try it out man, play in a Turf War, I dunno!" Ann-Gel said excitedly.

Sharq smiled largely, picking up the roller carefully off the counter, giving the roller cover an experimental spin with his finger. The revving noise intensified, and the roller cover spun faster, ink spreading throughout the house quickly, the floor dyed a deep blue in seconds. With his newfound roller upgrades, Sharq grinned even wider, hopping around in squid form in excitement.

"Thanks guys!" He shouted, rushing outside. Still in squid form, he shook with enthusiasm, and Super Jumped away to Inkopolis, ready to play in a Turf War, leaving his brother and the others to rest easy.

The other four awake in the house looked at Splin resting peacefully. The alarm clock beeped similar to a mischievous giggle, a timer counting down quickly on its screen, which paused immediately once everyone else glared at it.

"You didn't help at all, so you better not try it." Ann-Gel threatened.

The alarm clock sounded off a harsh boop, similar to a huff.

* * *

Sharq, no surprise, landed very off from his intended destination once more, this time bouncing onto the Great Zapfish, who didn't seem to mind. He sat on the glossy coat of the electrical fish, patting it on the head.

"Nice save!" Sharq commended the Zapfish, who merely smiled.

Sharq attempted to slide off to land safely, but accidentally collided with one of the Great Zapfish's whiskers. A charred Inkling fell to the ground, burnt hat floating after him. The Great Zapfish adopted a face of concern, which was quickly put to rest once he found out Sharq was still up and kicking. Sharq waved goodbye to the Great Zapfish, who winked back in acknowledgment, and jumped away as a hopping squid. Entering the Inkopolis Tower, he immediately sprang towards the door for Turf War entry, jumping inside. His body quickly decomposed into a squid ghost, and flew away towards the battlefield, his excitement knowing no bounds.

* * *

Sharq rose out of his spawn point's ink, hair tentacles now dyed a light green, the vast yet enclosed arena of Port Mackerel straight in front of him. Three other Inklings all armed to the beak with stat bonuses and Blasters rising besides him. One of his female teammates gave him an odd look, but ignored him, preparing for the round. Everyone was ready, and the timer began ticking down.

" _Three… Two… One…"_ Sharq counted mentally.

The timer finally hit zero, sounding off rather simply, and all three of Sharq's teammates bounded ahead to counter the enemy team, Blaster shots sounding like a symphony of mid-air bursts. Sharq inspected his Carbon Roller, looking for any new features added, when he spotted a button directly beneath the odometer.

The button was labeled with a small sticky note saying, "Use only in cases of dire emergencies. (or if you're failing terribly) -Splin" written in permanent ink.

"Thank you Splin, time to roll out!" Sharq yelled his pun proudly, deploying his roller directly onto the black asphalt, carefully rolling ahead through a path leading to the ground, going to join his fellow greens.

Leaving the safety of his spawn, Sharq entered the middle of the map, two large sets of boxes surrounding him, and three paths leading to the heart of the enemy's base, nearly identical to his own. He smiled, dashing ahead, only to retreat behind cover as soon as a series of deadly laser sights began opening fire at the Inkling, leaving a violet trail through the paths, merely succeeding in shooting his cap off, exposing his tentacles to the air. Sharq sighed, sinking low as a squid underneath his cap, then reemerging as a kid, hat now readjusted on his crown. Taking out his standard Gamepad, he looked at the map, hoping for a teammate. Sharq attempted to Super Jump, painfully interrupted by an enemy Splatterscope's Splat Bomb, blowing him up, and sending him back to square one.

Sharq groaned, popping back out from the spawn point, looking around for any backup. He took another quick look at his Gamepad, eyes nearly popping out of his head when he realized all his other teammates had ditched the battle, or disconnected. (Not even kidding, this was a thing that happened to a guy I play again, R.I.P.)

Sharq looked ahead with a frown, all of the enemy team surrounding his base, shaking their heads in disapproval.

"Cowards." One of the purple tentacled male Inklings muttered. "Sorry we had to win like this man, unfortunate that your teammates left you."

"If I were you…" A female opposing team started. "I would give up now, make this less painful."

Sharq grinned a bit. "Eh… About that." Reaching underneath the odometer of his roller, he pounded the button hidden underneath, the roller revving a bit, only to sputter out. "Whoops! Well, I tried."

Then, the motor revved up much more quickly, with a small harsh beep, and the roller sped off with Sharq still hanging on. Sharq smashed straight through the wall on the opposite side, accelerating through Inkopolis and leaving the enemy team with a large orange trail and bewildered faces.

Sharq's tentacles slowly reverted to blue, the large line of green changing to blue with him, Sharq yelping with every bump in the road. He attempted to slow down by planting his feet onto the ground, deciding against it when they caught fire from the unbelieveable friction. In his dash through Inkopolis, he rammed through multiple crowds of Inklings, totally on accident, launching them into the air.

"Sorry! Watch out, I can't stop it!" Sharq yelled, not relieving the populace in the slightest, as he busted outside the city limits, off into the distance, leaving a fuming city populace behind, though considering the news around here, will be quickly forgotten.

* * *

Tai whistled, casually walking under the blue skies of Octo Valley. Despite the possible threat of death from the rare Inkling that still visited the Cap'n, she didn't mind, twirling an Octoshot.

"Freeze!"

Speak of the devil.

Tai sighed, taking off her goggles and turning around with a comatose look on her face, a female Inkling agent staring her down with a Hero Shot trained directly on her.

"Listen man, I don't think you want to do anything you might regret." Tai said, stopping her twirl, and pointing her weapon at the Inkling.

"Oh yeah?!"

Tai noticed an extremely fast object rolling towards him, an evil grin emerging on her face.

"Yep." The lazy Octoling said, stepping out of the way with a false reassuring smile. "You'd do well to listen, idiot."

The female Inkling agent gritted her teeth. "We'll just see abo-"

Sharq ran over the unsuspecting Inkling somewhere over 100 mph, (160.934 kilometers for other countries) knocking her out.

"Yikes! Sorry!" Sharq apologized as he rode on the roller's handle, barely managing to hang on.

Tai laughed. "No flipping way! Thanks a bunch Sharq!" She waved at the Inkling brother, who managed to wave back.

Sharq looked ahead, eyes widening when he realized he had just dashed up a ramp, launching himself into the sky, vanishing with a blink of light somehow.

Tai whistled in awe, looking back at the unconscious Inkling offender. Looking over at Cap'n's shack, she shook her head, picking up the Inkling.

"...You're darn lucky you caught me in a good mood." Tai said softly, walking towards the run down shack of sheet metal carrying the unconscious Inkling bridal style, ensuring that she'd get there with less scratches than she already had, dropping her close by.

* * *

In a completely different universe, a pier close by Inkopolis overlooking the sea was under siege by a multitude of marine vessels of sorts, creatures similar to sea lions of sorts storming the beach, commanding vehicles and forces. Other Inklings with great power that I can actually name without being sued hopefully, as well as a single Squid Sister, albeit with some strange twist in power were fighting against the sea lion menace, although slightly tired from the fighting.

"We could really do with some backup…" Callie muttered, somehow dispatching a dude with the sickest punch you've ever seen. ...Alright she built up pink bubblegum flavored energy with her tentacles probably magically and punched the sea lion, there you go.

"I'm fighting my butt off here!" A battle hardened blue tentacled Inkling frustratedly shouted, literally slamming into a cruiser. (Normally he'd say something else, but I censored it because I care about you guys. :3)

"Yeah, thanks Ix!" Callie shouted back, just as frustrated.

A large line of sea lions, some troops on the lions' side similar to what an Inkling and a sea lion might look like if they were tossed into a blender advanced with them, advanced towards the fighting Inklings. They all held their breath, ready to fight, when a yell broke them out of their concentration.

"Gangwaaaaaayy!"

Much to everyone's surprise, Sharq broke the laws of physics and good story writing, mowing down the sea lion line quickly with his roller. The enemy forces reeled back in astonishment, moving back as the screams of pain from their sea lion friends intensified. Sharq apologized again, before disappearing with a flash of light. The battle paused for a moment, everyone standing there with dumbfounded looks, before they realized they had to murder the other side, the entire battle resuming.

"That was handy!" Callie stated, wiping her brow.

* * *

Sharq's roller slowed down, at least a couple miles (kilometers) less, but was still speeding strong, now entering an industrial appearing building, leaving paint as he went, teleporting once more. A young thin man, wearing a cap, a large earpiece on his left ear, a messenger bag, dog tags, and other such cosmetics, all with a bit of a blue theme, ran across the ink, slipping and falling.

"Gah! Ah, you alien jerks!" He yelled in a Bostonian accent, quickly picking himself back up and running back to his destination.

Told you Scout, gotta look before you leap!

"Soldier tossing me off a cliff?! How was I supposed figure that one out?!" Scout hesitated. "Uh... Actually, screw that, probably shoulda guessed."

* * *

Much to Sharq's relief, the roller finally stopped rolling, and Sharq could finally stop running, legs halting. Unfortunately…

"Uh oh!" Sharq gulped, as he fell from the sky, straight through the hole in his house's roof, and slammed into the floor. "...guh."

"Nngh…"

Sharq looked up from the floor, noticing Splin was fidgeting in his sleep.

"Sharq… Don't hit... the button..." He managed to mumble, before snoring overtook him again.

The cap wearing brother started sweating nervously. The smaller house guests stared at him worriedly. Sharq laid the Carbon Roller on the counter gently, grabbing a towel and scrubbing it until it shone with cleanliness. He jumped into his bed, hiding underneath the covers as a squid, not willing to experience that again.

"...Splin doesn't need to worry about anything." Sharq whispered.

The group of objects continued staring at him. Ann-Gel turned as best she could with her trophy state, eyebrow raised at the Tele-Cube. The cube floated up to the roller and inspected it, a whirling vortex appearing on the screen facing them.

"Dimensional jump successful." It wrote on its screens.

* * *

AN: References galore indeed. I'm at a bit of a loss again, so here's a Sharq chapter while I try to think of a new one. Thanks again to Dread Angel, Anon360, and Mr. Loner for reviewing my story! Dread, glad to see a fellow spookster, Anon, oh my gosh you're totally right I did make Ari like Gary, I did not plan that, and Mr. Loner, sorry for inadvertently stealing your costume idea, maybe next year. Anyways, thanks as always, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to determine whether to blow money on CS:GO or buy Undertale. Goodbye, and have a good day!


	23. The Brothers Teleport Toast

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Teleporting Toast**

Tai woke up rather swimmingly, a hum escaping her lips. She escaped the tiny confines of her room with a good mood, stretching her arms. She walked through the interior hall, blinking the sleep out of her eyes, only to walk into a line of Octolings.

"Huh?"

Tai tried to look around the Octoling crowd, but were too many of them for her to scan any action. She attempted to squeeze through the crowd, only to slide back out when she realized it would get too claustrophobic in that sweaty mess of soldiers. She walked back down the hall, spotting an awake Chi leaving their dorm.

"Yo, Chi." Tai waved, earning a sleepy wave back. "I'd suggest finding an alternate route around this mass, there are too many clustering around the central hall."

Chi blinked in fatigued confusion. "...What... Even am I listening about?"

"Sorry, military and all that stuff. Wake up and get the sand out of your eyes, Let's move that way." Tai pointed down the opposite end of the hall.

The two Octolings sluggishly skipped down the hall, only for more Octarians to block the way. Both groaned, inadvertently getting the attention of their peers. A fellow Octoling, studiously equipping her goggles as always nodded.

"T-41, C-H1. I see you've seen the roadblock as well." Aussie said.

"What's going on? Why's everyone lining up?" Chi asked.

An Octocopter floated up slowly, hovering dizzily in the air. "...Food." He then dropped to the ground.

"We've been waiting in line to get into the mess hall for a while, our electricity is back, but the provisions of two Inklings can only last us so long. This is going to severely affect our performance in the field if we don't get our rations soon." Aussie explained. "...And the fact that there are two lines doesn't make it any better."

"Ah… Well then, looks like we're gonna need to call in some help." Chi stated. "Tai?"

"Alright, let's go for a little visit to the surface." Tai stated proudly, and began to walk away. Unsurprisingly, she bumped into a wall of octopi, groaning in exasperation. "...Of course they would."

* * *

Meanwhile, up in the hills, Sharq stood patiently, Splin aiming at him with a Splattershot Pro in his hands. The two were outside their home, a gentle breeze carrying fallen blades of grass off the ground. Splin had one eye closed and the other one on his brother, cocking the ink gun directly at him.

"Alright, are you prepared?" Splin asked.

Sharq nodded proudly.

"...Dodge NOW." Splin commanded, firing multiple shots of blue ink at his brother.

The ink bullets hurdled quickly, but missed their target as Sharq simply moved out of the way unscathed, Splin shaking his head in response.

"That's… One way to dodge I suppose." Splin lowered the weapon.

"Yeah!" Sharq grinned.

The two stood in silence for a while, not sure of what the whole point of this chapter is.

"Hmm." Splin sat in thought. "What do you want to do today?"

"...Sit in the house all day and play Super Splash Bros.?" Sharq suggested.

"You know, as much as I'd want to not go out and possibly get eradicated by some unholy force of nature, I'd think that's actually a pretty decent idea."

The two began their trip into the house, when octopi attacked. By that, meaning two Octoling soldiers landed directly in front of them.

"Oof! Yep, we're gonna need to find some sort of beacon for this…" Tai groaned, rubbing her back. "Wait a second, we have no bones."

Affirmative.

The other Octoling, revealed to be the ever mischievous Chi gasped in wonder at the hills, burying her face into the grass, hugging it tightly.

"..." The two brothers stared at her in silence, Chi continuing by attempting to make grass angels, a carefree smile on her face.

"She… Really likes grass." Splin observed, the Octoling frolicing in a nearby bed of flowers, swimming through the grassy sea as an octopus.

Tai rolled her eyes. "Well, when you get little to no organic stuff in your homes, this tends to happen."

Chi laughed playfully. "It's just so fuuuuuuunnnnnnnn!"

Tai shook her head quickly. "That's not the point... Splin, Sharq, we came here because we need to ask you to help us out again."

"Of course." Splin said.

"You can count on us! What are we talking, laser Octoweapons? Training recruits?" Sharq asked excitedly, pupils in his eyes growing in anticipation.

Tai blankly stated, "Rations."

The two brothers looked at each other, then back to Tai, disbelieving expressions on their faces, Chi still swimming in the grass, getting stains of green and ruffed up tentacles in the process.

"...You know, you're welcome to come in and eat breakfast with us right now." Sharq turned into a squid as he said so, pointing at the house.

"That's not exactly why we visited-" Tai was interrupted by noisy growls coming from both Chi's and her stomach. "Ogh! ...Uh, so, what are we having?" Tai blushed in embarrassment.

* * *

After a completely messy breakfast, the entire house was once again coated in food, this time toast littered the floor, some buttered toast sticking to the wall. The snail, cube, figurine, and alarm clock all nested underneath Sharq's bed, huddling together to prevent themselves from being overtaken by the toast overcrowding the room.

Splin sighed, stuck to the wall via bread slices. "I will never cook again." He fell to the ground with a crunch, toast pieces somehow glued to the ceiling dropping like a stalactite onto the brother with a loud thud.

The other cephalopods all sleepily laid on the ground, stomachs full, already dozing off, "z"s literally rising from their heads.

"Wha-" Splin stood up, wiping off offending bread. "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!"

"...Oh! Hold on!" Chi sat up. "With the amount of food this one Inkling made, we can actually feed a whole splatoon for weeks! Great job, Splin!"

Splin raised his eyebrows. "Wait a second, you're having food shortages? Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"...Uh, toast and stuff. ...Come on, we were starving!" Tai complained, only earning an inquisitive and unamused look from Splin.

"Tai, we're going over there right now, we need to help."

"No no no no no, you're staying here, we're doing the heavy lifting." Tai said. "Octavio says we've been resting on our laurels for two long, letting you guys do all the work. We'll carry the bread back, you two don't have to worry about a thing."

Chi stared at Tai in disbelief, who winked back in response.

"Yaaay." Sharq enthused, crawling to his bed as a squid, scattering burnt toast across the wooden floor.

"...Really? Octavio told you that?" Splin asked. "I don't understand his leadership… But, we can still try to help you out in some ways…"

Tai bit her lip, looking away.

* * *

"T-41, C-H1, as you can see, our forces' morale have decreased dramatically due to the food shortage." DJ Octavio said, hovering over the two Octolings.

The Octarian crew were all situated in the briefing room, sitting around the grand table. The large slab of ceiling still stuck in the table for some reason, among other debris. Everyone looked rather fatigued, and starving. A ton of thuds could be heard in other rooms, followed by weeping.

"They should really fix this." Chi whispered, touching the large shard stuck in the table, Tai agreeing with a nod of her head.

"Anyways, I need you two to ask the Inkling allies of ours to help us out, give us some sick beets to munch on, get what I'm saying?" Octavio joked.

The entire table stayed silent at Octavio's pun.

"...Just get us some food supplies. Last time I'm making a pun." Octavio huffed. "Make sure we get those Inklings to help us, I repeat, get the voluntarily ready Inklings to help us. TAI ARE YOU LISTENING?"

The lazy Octoling collapsed out of boredom and hunger pains.

"Ugh. Chi, just get her up to the surface and ask those Inklings for their assistance. We'll stay here and help out the starving, you get help." Octavio stated firmly and finally, floating away to assist fallen soldiers.

* * *

Tai snapped out of her reminiscing of about a page ago and looked back at Splin.

"Um, yeah. ...Something like that." She muttered.

"Tai, what are you doing?" Chi asked.

Tai held her index finger up, huddling close to Chi.

"Listen, I know this sounds weird… But I really like these guys."

"Ooooohhh…" Chi smirked.

"Not like that." Tai rolled her eyes. "...I just wouldn't want them to do all the heavy lifting, they've done a lot for us. I mean, the two only Inklings in the world to actually put aside wars and death just to help out a couple of octopi like us"

Chi stared at Tai with a bit of a scared expression. "You've spent too much time around these two, where's the Tai I know that would just let others do the work?."

Tai sighed. "Yep, pretty much. ...I dunno, just something about those two…"

The two brothers stared at the two Octolings, waiting for a clear answer to a rather confusing question.

"...Well fine. Splin, Sharq, sorry to completely turn a 180 on you, but uh… We actually need your help with this."

The two Octolings turned back, where the two Inkling brothers were preparing a new load of cardboard boxes for travel, even a specific cap wearing one going as far as taping makeshift wheels to the bottom of them.

"...That's how we're supposed to get back? Seems… Pretty dumb actually." Chi stated.

Splin sighed. "I actually agree with her on this one, this seems way too obvious that something odd would be going on. It may have worked the first couple of times, but something tells me this could spell disaster if we decided to pull through with it."

* * *

In Inkopolis Plaza, a group of Inklings, young and old, stood facing the Squid Sisters studio, the two Squid Sisters themselves standing outside of it. Callie proudly standing on the railing by it, Marie looked rather indisposed, boredly sitting by with her chin resting on the palm of her right hand, leaning against the railings.

"Arr! Good job Pirates! We sure showed those Ninjas a thing or two!" Callie triumphantly said, eliciting a growl from the slightly annoyed fellow popstar cousin, cheers and jeers ringing out from the crowd. "Now, as the Splatfest winner, I actually have one more request from you…"

The entire crowd listened intently, when Callie revealed a scroll with rather bubbly writing on it, as well as a picture of a box.

"If you happen to see a box moving in the plaza, don't hesitate to blow it to smithereens!" Callie commanded the crowd.

Everyone stood in silence, Callie nervously darting her eyes around. The crowd reluctantly spoke among itself, Marie just staring wide eyed with an eyebrow raised at her cousin's odd proposition. Suddenly a voice rang out of the crowd.

"Ha ha! That's it? Simple, you can count on me to take care of any boxes."

The crowd suddenly rallied together in chants, making sure to check alleyways and crannies for any moving boxes.

Marie gave her cousin a huge look of disbelief, Callie just giggling nervously. "I-I just wanna make sure, okay!" Marie shook her head, and walked away.

* * *

"So…" Tai wondered aloud, hand on the brothers' kitchen counter. "What's the plan, Splin?"

Splin hummed low, thinking. He looked around the room multiple times, attempting to find something that could solve their problem. A beep similar to a throat being cleared popped up out of nowhere, snapping Splin out of his doldrums. Looking down at his feet, he noticed the Tele-Cube had a simple expression on its screens, a face composed of a few lines for eyes and mouth, drawn to look like it was planning something. Splin chuckled.

Picking up the Tele-Cube, he mentally facepalmed. "Of course. I'm sorry cube, we keep forgetting about that."

"...So, to replace all of these cardboard boxes, we're going to… Use a shinier box?" Chi asked uncertainly. "You're the logical one of us, right?"

"I know it looks weird, but trust me. Tele-Cube has been practicing."

"Wait, your guys' belongings live?" Tai asked, turning around. Spotting Ann-Gel, she slowly leaned into the figurine's face, eyes narrowed.

"gulp. Uh, hiii…?" Ann-Gel waved slowly.

Tai's eyes widened. She quickly equipped her Octoling Goggles, leaning in once again with eyebrows furrowed, making the amiibo girl extremely nervous.

"You're a little close there." Ann-Gel backed up as best as she could with a trophy stand glued to her feet eternally.

"...Sorry." Tai cleared her throat, looking back at the brothers. "What can this 'cube' of yours do exactly?"

"Teleport!" Sharq cried out, leaping over onto the counter as a squid. "We're gonna teleport to the HQ?!"

Splin smiled. "That's the plan."

"Okay, you Inklings have teleport technology?! Man, we've been underestimating you guys for too long." Chi said, impressed with the cube.

"Well, we're pretty much the only ones we know of that has this. ...Also the last time we tested its teleportation capabilities we accidentally laid destruction… Or at least near destruction of Inkopolis."

The eyes on Tele-Cube's "face" rolled. Splin pat the cube reassuringly, setting it down on the counter, where Salty happily bounded to greet its friend.

"But the cube is reliable. Even if it does have a few mishaps here and there, it usually turns out alright in the end."

"'Usually'?" Chi asked, unconvinced.

Sharq grinned, picking up the Tele-Cube. He pat the cube, eyes shut tight, and suddenly vanished with a whoosh in the air, the Tele-Cube leaving with him. Suddenly, he fell back from the ceiling from the house, again with a whoosh sound, pirate and ninja merch, presumably from the recent Splatfest falling by him.

"Eh? Pretty cool, huh?" Sharq beamed, a plastic purple shuriken embedding itself in the floor next to him, and a cutlass with a Callie face winking on the rubber hilt falling nearby.

"...Hmm. So, you just have to imagine where to go, then it takes you there?" Chi asked.

"Trust me Chi, these two may have blundered a little in the past, but they usually pull through." Tai told her.

"Usually people don't use the word, 'usually' that often." Chi scoffed.

"Look, it'll be simple, we just teleport us, and some bread, then teleport back, get more food, and the Octarians go happy! We don't have to do much work, and we'll be out of the brothers' tentacles, free to do whatever. Better yet, the Octarians get better rations than the slop we usu- Normally, normally I meant, have to eat." Tai explained.

Chi had her hand on her hip, shaking her head with a sigh. "Yeah, yeah, fine, I can get into that plan. Splin, Sharq, how about it?"

Splin eyed the covered floor, practically a bake sale now, with an unsure face. "We'd have to teleport all this bread across a long distance while ensuring that we can still make it back…" Splin took a peek at the Tele-Cube, a large battery with an eighty percent charge labeled underneath. "I guess now's as good a time as ever to test it again. Alright guys, gather as much bread as you can, and we'll teleport it out of here."

* * *

An aforementioned Soldier grinned elsewhere.

* * *

After the long, grueling, and boring process of stacking bread on the counter, the team was all set to transport themselves and the bread across time and space. The Octolings had their goggles equipped in case things went sour, Sharq pushing his Takoroka Mesh cap down on his head harder as if it would act better as a helmet.

"Bread stacked, crew at the ready, Tele-Cube, it's all up to you." Splin said. "Alright, please teleport us to the Octarian HQ, as well as the toast. Got it?"

The Tele-Cube hovered above the counter, lights on the cube flashing many different colors. After a few minutes, the cube flashed brightly, the team of aquatic tentacled teenagers averting their eyes, and suddenly vanished, toast left in the room blown back.

* * *

Tai and Chi opened their eyes, and looked around. They stood in front of a crowd of surprised Octolings, a pile of bread landing next to them. DJ Octavio and other Octarian forces, who appeared to be discussing something, stopped immediately, and stared at the two totally coincidentally named Octolings, the two females standing in front of the shocked crowd, when Tai took a piece of bread and raised it above her head.

"Who here's hungry?" Tai asked.

A roar of relief and cheers crashed down on them, the crowd of octopi rushing for the bread, the mountain of toast quickly being reduced to a small pile, Octotroopers and Octolings alike munching happily on the bread, DJ Octavio hovering over them in the coolest DJ machine ever devised by octopus kind.

"Well! You two did pretty dang well, we live to mix another day. You even did it without the help of those Inklings!" Octavio laughed proudly.

Tai shrugged. "Well technically-" She paused, looking around. "Hang on. Where are the other two?"

Tai left Chi to get showered in admiration and praise, pushing through the crowd attempting to find the brothers. She groaned, finding no trace of the two Inklings, even going as far as sliding underneath the Octarians as an octopus.

"Well…" Tai's eyebrows were furrowed after passing under some of the Octolings. _"Still no sign of them. Although…"_ Tai turned around, looking at the Octolings she had passed under, who were blushing.

"Please don't do that." A flustered Octoling requested.

Tai closed her eyes, hand to her face in annoyance. _"Well, with any luck, hopefully they ended up somewhere safe."_

* * *

Splin and Sharq were falling above Inkopolis, the city looking like a barely recognizable blob from their viewpoint. However, it didn't matter much, as they were closing in on a landing quickly, the blob appearing to grow skyscrapers, towers, trees, and asphalt.

"How come every time we decide NOT to walk, we always get suspended high above the ground?" Splin wondered aloud.

He looked over to Sharq, who was freaking out in midair, scrambling next to Splin and tightly hugging him for support.

"...Sharq, we can't take fall damage remember?" Splin said.

Well yeah, but keep in mind the only places you've fallen off of were generally acceptable.

"What does that mean, voice?" Splin asked nervously.

Unless you find a softer place to land, now this drop... Could possibly spell instant death.

Both brothers froze in midair with a look of terror. A flock of geese flew by, one of the geese quacking their sympathies, before the brothers resumed falling, although none of them spoke for the rest of the fall. While the two hurdled to their immediate demise, a certain six faced object dropped down just above them.

"Cube!" They both exclaimed, breaking the previously mentioned silence.

Splin fell in thought for a moment, then pushed Sharq as best as he could at the cube, only to push himself further towards the ground.

"I… Forgot how physics work." Splin admitted, twiddling his tentacles.

"It's totally fine, this is fine." Sharq reassured him, albeit poorly. "Uh, cube, do you mind dropping faster?"

Splin looked at Sharq unamused, when suddenly the cube solidified further, the textures on the cube shifting to a concrete sidewalk, however, not increasing its drop speed whatsoever.

"Just because an object is heavier doesn't mean that it would drop faster!" Splin explained.

"Darn it!" Sharq sighed.

"...Well, I mean, for the most part." Splin rubbed the back of his head. "Still don't completely understand how it works…"

The cube approached the brothers more noticeably, then reverted back to its previous digital interface form, staying at around the same height as the brothers.

"Ah, well the rate of acceleration increases I believe." Splin observed.

"Okay, well, you better hurry up, I don't wanna die because of some stupid loophole!" Sharq gasped, both of them a mere mile (1.61 kilometers) away from dying.

"Uh, Tele-Cube, please teleport us somewhere soft!" He pleaded, the cube nodding.

Just before the two hit the ground, the cube engulfed the brothers in a flash of light, quickly making itself and the squid brothers disappear, safely away from the unforgiving landscape of the ground below, where Callie and Marie were still patrolling the city of Inkopolis for moving boxes, a rather tired task force of Inklings trailing behind them.

"Callie, it's been an hour, our fans are really worried about you too. Maybe you should take a break from your uh… Whatever this is exactly." Marie explained to her somewhat justified cousin, who despite the bags in her eyes, still persevered to bring justice to the cardboard box.

"...No, no. I swear I saw a box, I'm not stopping until-" Callie stopped midsentence, and fainted, leaning back on Marie, who sighed.

The white tentacle Squid Sister raised her free right hand, carrying the other idol with her left. "Alright everyone, Callie's knocked out, you guys can go home now. Stay fresh!"

The sigh of relief that came from the crowd washed over the city like a tsunami, the sound of shuffling footsteps finally moving away.

* * *

Splin inexplicably warped back to his bed, landing softly. He breathed deeply, glad that he didn't end up flatter than a dab fish. Expecting Sharq, he turned to his left, only finding that the bed was empty, no sign of the other brother or cube. He stood up, confused, quickly climbing upstairs to the roof, looking at the sky, Sharq nowhere to be seen.

"Oh no…" Splin raised his hand to his mouth, biting down lightly.

"Yo! Splin!"

Splin looked at the sky again, Tai quickly closing in from the sky. Unfortunately, she missed, landing in a nearby tree, apples falling loose from the impact.

"Ow." She groaned, her goggles coming loose as well, falling with the apples. She fell as well, adding up to three fallen items from the tree. "Who you calling an item?" Tai half joked.

Well excuse my French, miss Tai.

Tai humphed, pushing leaves off of her. "No problem voice. Hey, so Splin, what happened? Where'd you two go after the teleportation?"

Splin looked up at the sky. "We went for a bit of a free fall."

"Oh, dang." Tai whistled, looking at the sky. "Sooo… Where's Sharq?"

Splin looked around. "That's what I'm trying to figure out… The Tele-Cube is probably with him, so he's not in too much danger, however…" He sighed. "Knowing that it's Sharq, I can only pray things won't go horribly wrong."

"Well, how'd you get back here then?" Tai asked.

"Requested that we'd land somewhere soft." Splin said. "That's pretty vague of me… Sharq could be anywhere…"

* * *

Sharq grunted, standing up slowly, but wobbled a bit, looking around. The Tele-Cube hovered above him, glowing red, a sign that the energy left inside was low. The area around them was dark, the illusion of some sort of sky above them. The now solitary brother bit his lip slightly, so as not to completely cut through his own mouth with his beak. He tried to walk finding that the ground was rather cushy, feeling like a pillow of sorts.

"What have I teleported into now?" Sharq asked aloud.

The Tele-Cube began to generate a low quantity of light, Sharq looking down at the "ground". Feeling it with his foot once more, it felt similar to a soft dirt that he'd find in the hill, Sharq jumping up and down on the ground.

"Weird." Sharq stated, although with a small smile. "Huh…"

Sharq played around in the ground for a while, until he got completely bored.

"Okay, Tele-Cube, you think you can take me home?" He asked aloud to the cube floating above him.

The Tele-Cube managed a soft chime, before another flash of light overtook him, spiriting him and the cube away once more.

* * *

In a forest clearing, extremely far away from the dimension Splin and Sharq called home, a trio of Inklings were sitting rather silently in some sort of ritual with another overlooking the three, one of the three sitting peacefully apparently being the Squid Sister Marie. All was peaceful, until one of the present females face scrunched up a bit.

" _...What is going on in there?"_ The female thought.

She held her hand up to her chest in confusion, but was stopped by Marie.

"Rem." She warned the other Inkling.

Rem's face scrunched up in protest, but sighed, sitting quietly once again, ignoring the odd sensation.

* * *

Sharq appeared out of thin air once again, but also failed to stick the landing, falling directly onto the railing on top of his house as a squid, one of the pillars jutting out dealing a blow to his squid form's stomach area. Tele-Cube floated down above him, a face with eyes wide drawn on itself.

"Bwooogh!" He spat out in pain, falling by the foot of his house's door, his Takoroka Mesh cap floating down onto his face.

"Sharq, there you are! Are you injured?" Sharq looked up, his cap obstructing his view. His cap was quickly moved, revealing his brother Splin, as well as Tai staring down at him worriedly.

"Does this answer your question?" Sharq groaned, switching to humanoid form with his hand on his stomach, rolling over slowly, moaning into the ground.

Splin inhaled sharply, motioning to Tai to help carry him inside. The two reached under Sharq, pulling him up, Tai kicking open the doors to the house. Carefully, they walked over to the counter, lying him carefully on top. Splin pat him on the back gently, receiving a small murmur of appreciation from the normally upbeat brother.

"Oh geez." Splin sighed.

"You gonna be okay dude?" Tai asked, poking Sharq with her Octoshot's nozzle.

"...bleh." He managed to say, rolling over. "...Did you get the food over there?"

"Yeah… We managed to get it there, no problem." Tai said.

* * *

Back at the Octarian HQ, the Octotroopers were fighting back evil mutated pieces of stale teleported bread, ink flying everywhere and bread crumbs being tossed, overall just a huge mess.

* * *

"...Hopefully." Tai frowned.

Splin sighed. "You're going to be fine, right Sharq?"

Sharq groaned more, clutching his stomach. "Maybe a little sick... "

Salty hopped over the the television, and jumped on the remote's power button. Immediately after turning the television on, the show switched to a "The Halibut" commercial, showcasing a variety of different menu items.

"I'm good, let's go grab some chow!" Sharq exclaimed, turning off the T.V. and sprinted outside, much to the amusement of the two others.

Splin chuckled. "Good to see my brother's still kicking. Hmm… You want us to get you something?"

Tai smiled. "Sure, why not. I could go for a meal right now anyways after that exhausting process."

"...The one where you had to stand still?" Splin joked.

"Ah, whatever."

Splin followed his brother outside, both of them turning into squids again, and preparing to jet off.

"Bye Tai!"

"We'll get you something, don't worry."

The two Inkling brothers jumped away with a burst of ink as usual.

"Heh. I know you will." Tai smiled, walking back inside their house, awaiting her food.

* * *

AN: Shared Universe Stuff: This is a disclaimer pertaining to the references in the story. If you don't happen to understand some of the references, you might just have to read more fanfiction. :3. No but seriously, you might want to if you wish to understand, or if you have already, great. But anyways, time to respond to reviews once more. Thanks again to Dread Angel, Anon360, and The Engi Who Cried Nope (or sebastian830, I don't really know what you wished to be addressed by, Entschuldigen Sie bitte meine Fehler.) Yep Dread, beam jokes. Anon, that totally slipped my mind, sorry I couldn't include Sonic. Finally, Engi, thanks, I really need to lessen the TF2 references, oh boy. Anyways, that wraps up this chapter. Thank you, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, remember to always treat your bread nicely!


	24. The Brothers and the Amnesiac Woman

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Rem-Ixed Memories**

" _...Everything's so dark… Nngh… My head hurts... Where am I? ...Wait a second. Wh-who am I?! W-Why is everything so dark?! Agh! Okay, okay… Calm down. Just… Try to remember something. Open your eyes, try and find something. ...Okay, keep your eyes shut, that works too. Hhuuu... Why do I… Why do I feel so… Sad…"_

" _Yet… Strangely happy?"_

* * *

Splin woke up early. Extremely early. He rose groggily out of his bed, attempting to perceive the time, the alarm clock nowhere to be seen. Grumbling, he attempted to walk around to find the grumpy device, only finding that each blind step he took would end in a stumble. Groaning after each fall, he stood back up after each misstep, finding his way to the stairs in his home, walking upstairs to the next floor, or at least the area that somewhat qualified as a floor, yawning quietly. Opening his eyes to the maximum they could before even the break of dawn, he looked out, leaning on the railings placed on the roof, looking over the grassy hills he called home. After a while of searching in the dark for anything interesting, he decided to go down and exercise somewhat, slipping under the railings as a squid, landing softly on the grass by the house's entrance, stretching his tentacles, when he tripped over something again.

"...Really Splin?" He scolded himself, picking himself up.

Looking around to find what he tripped over, he was prepared to give the offending rock or twig a "lecture" on proper manners. He was not prepared, however, to see a grown female Inkling resting by the foot of the hills. She hardly moved, although her eyes twitched slightly in rebellion. She wore a Hero Suit, although it was in an absolute wrecked condition, sparks of electricity popping out of the ruined headset, luckily not catching fire, but somehow, her whole body looked completely intact despite the ruined look of the suit. His eyes widened in surprise, and he began running towards her, not before talking to the rock he tripped over.

"Uh, all past transgressions are forgiven, I need to help her!" Splin explained to the rock. "...Man. I'm really tired"

As Splin ran off to assist the fallen mystery woman, the rock rustled, though hardly noticeable. Ignoring the now content rock, Splin slid down the hill incline in squid form easily, stopping once he hit the soft grass at the bottom. Landing by the unconscious Inkling woman, he inspected the older Inkling, his breathing at a temporary halt. Taking two fingers, he felt her neck for a pulse, feeling multiple beats. He sighed, glad to see that she was still among the living, pausing for a minute, mentally freezing.

"...Hang on. We have three hearts." Splin frowned. "Of course she'd still retain a pulse. ...Ah, I better get Sharq!"

Splin ran back up the hill, entering the house through the doors, slamming them open. He ran over the his own bedside, stopping right in front of the dresser. Splin held his hand out to the lamp on the dresser, pulling on a switch, light flowing out of it immediately, much to the discomfort of some of the others.

"...Uhhh… Five more minutes, mom and dad…" Sharq whimpered, retreating deep into the sheets of his bed, rustling the blankets that covered him.

"Sharq, it's me! Get up, I need to show you someone!" Splin panted, pushing his brother out of bed. The other brother fell on the floor, moaning a bit.

Sharq sighed. "...Okay. Wait, someone?!" He gasped, fumbling his arm around the floor, trying to catch his hat wherever it was. "Yeesh, I'm supposed to be the one who jumps out of bed early for something amazing!"

The younger Inkling reached for the dresser, grabbing two pieces of headgear, the tactful brother's Designer Headphones, and the slightly clumsier brother's Takoroka Mesh. Splin tossed Sharq's cap to him, and arranged his headphones around his neck. Splin made a tossing movement with his arm, motioning outside.

"C'mon Sharq!" He exclaimed, jogging out the door.

Sharq grinned. "That's my line! You're really up and at 'em, aren't you?!"

They both ran outside, mercilessly slamming open the doors again, the other objects in the house now completely awake, not exactly happy. The alarm clock jumped up from under the countertop, beeping angrily, silenced only by Ann-Gel's just as agitated "Shh!".

* * *

" _Gah, this is getting me nowhere! Open your damn eyes, ...whatever my name is! ...Hmph! Fine, be that way."_

"Sh..q! ..t o… he..!" A concerned voice rang out.

" _Eh?"_

"Oh my Cod!" An energetic voice yelled out, just as concerned, just much more clearly. "Is she alright?!

" _Who…?"_

"She's fine, I took her pulse earlier. Quick, we need to transport her back to the house!" The concerned voice suggested, now perfectly understandable.

The other voice could be heard whining in hesitation. "...W-Wait, what if she's REALLY injured, I don't want to h-hurt her further!"

"Sharq, come on, we need to assist her!"

"...I know! Let's call an ambulance!" Sharq suggested.

"...And have them carry her over all these hills, somehow driving up the steep slopes, without having her getting beaten up? By your logic, that won't work either!"

" _...Hmm."_

The female's eyes opened slowly, still blinking, clearing out her eyes of any unwanted blurriness. She looked up, two young Inklings standing over her, she presumed to be the owners of the voices.

"...Well Splin, we have to do something!"

"...What do you propose we do?" Splin asked, looking at Sharq.

"I… I dunno!" Sharq cried out exasperated, the cap he wore tilted down, covering his eyes a bit. The older Inkling had his hands pressed down on his hat, whimpering slightly.

" _Heh…"_

The two Inklings gasped out in surprise, Splin's expression of shock quickly turning to a calm face, pacifying her thoughts somewhat. They both looked down at the unknown Inkling, eyes still wide.

"Uh… I see you're awake now." He said, hand to his chin.

"Hey there." Sharq smiled.

"There are better places to nap then on the ground, you know. Trust us, we'd know." He rubbed the back of his neck, rattling his headphones a bit.

The female Inkling smiled softly, an eyebrow raised.

"Are you injured, can you walk?" Splin asked. "Give me your hand."

She took the younger Inkling's hand, pulling herself up, nearly dragging the slightly smaller protagonist down as she did so.

"Yikes!" Splin yelped.

" _Now's your chance to speak."_ She thought. "I-I'm fine." She stammered. _"Wow, nice job."_ She scolded herself mentally soon after.

Well, this seems familiar, VERY familiar...

* * *

Meanwhile, in a certain awoken world.

A man garbed in light, black armor of sorts, covered by yet another cloak of sorts, pitch black with odd violet markings, similar to a large set of eyes. A kabuki mask was draped on his shoulder, moving with a tactical rhythm of sorts as he wrote with a quill pen on a large sheet of paper. He paused, looking around, black hair moving slightly. He sat inside of a large tent, various detailed maps and books strewn about the place, a sword sheath with blade included, clean axe, and a tome with a lightning bolt insignia inscribed on it sat by his feet, all slightly weathered.

"Déjà vu." Looking around much more puzzled, he shook his head, returning to writing.

"Father!" A voice called out. "Are you almost finished with the strategy for the next battle?"

"Yes, nearly finished Morgan!" He shouted back, putting the pen down. He stood up, and grabbed the tome with the lightning bolt insignia, pocketing it in his cloak.

"Damol, you better get out here, your daughter is getting feisty!" A heroic yet approachable voice called out.

"Yeah! She's getting a little too hyper… That's coming from me, so you better hurry up!" Another energetic, young spirited voice chimed in.

"Alright Chrom, Lissa, don't fret. I'll be outside in a moment!" Damol yelled, leaving his tent behind, the flaps billowing in the wind.

* * *

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

* * *

The two brothers were escorting the still unknown woman up the hills to their home, carefully pushing away opposing rocks and sticks that could pose a possible trip threat to the weakened woman, who was walking slowly behind the two.

"I hate to ask you a semi-personal question… But would you happen to remember something, anything?" Splin asked, kicking away a twig.

The woman furrowed her brows, looking around, but gave up quickly, shaking her head down at the ground.

"No… Nothing. What is this place?" She asked, looking around.

A gentle breeze whistled around her, making her shiver, small particles of grass sweeping by.

"...This is our home, I guess." Sharq explained rather shortly. "I mean, it's understandable you would want to ask, this place is pretty much in the middle of nowhere… Unless you count Inkopolis over there!"

Sharq pointed over the hills, to the still sleeping city of the squids, Inkopolis. The female stared in wonder, looking over the blinking lights and brightened windows of those waking up early. She gasped, clutching her head, the brothers running over to her to assist her.

"What's wrong?!" Splin asked.

"...Agh! Ah! ...I remember something." She said.

"Really?" Sharq questioned. "What is it?"

"Sharq, patience." Splin reminded him.

"No, it's fine. ...I believe I... Remember a name." She said, piquing the interest of the brothers.

"A name? Do you happen to know who it belongs to?" Splin asked.

"...Maria. That's my… That's my name, I think? Maria." Maria revealed her name, although with a hint of doubt at the end. "...No, I'm sure of it. It's Maria."

"...Really? That's great." Splin smiled. "Uh, the fact that you remember. Uh, well, not that your name isn't great, but-"

Maria silenced Splin by rubbing his head, much to his confusion. She continued to rub his head, and out of the corner of Splin's eye he thought he could see Sharq snicker. Splin shot a glare at him and he innocently spun around and folded his hands behind his back as if nothing happened.

"Um…" He murmured confusedly, causing Maria to stop petting the small squid brother.

"Sorry! It just… Feels natural." She said, recoiling, taking her hand back quickly in embarrassment.

Splin blushed. "Er, it's fine. Just uh… Just uh… Warn me or something if you ever decide to do that again. "Now… I think we should get you inside, it's getting pretty chilly out here."

The motherly instinct Maria had quickly was shoved aside, her face looking away. "Alright, thank you.."

The trio of Inklings continued up the hill, shortly arriving at the humble shack Splin and Sharq called home. Maria tilted her head, causing her headset to somehow malfunction further despite its ruined state, shooting out sparks. She squeaked in surprise, taking her headset off and throwing it at the house, where a final shower of sparks shot out, then fizzled out completely. She breathed in calmly, turning to the brothers, who stared at her in fear.

"Sorry, another instinct I guess!" She giggled nervously, not at all reassuring the two brothers. She stopped, smiling instead, although with a few beads of sweat forming above her brow. "Ahem! So, this is your house? Seems cozy."

"Well uh… Yep, pretty much. We just chill here whenever we feel like it." Sharq said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hmm!" She hummed, looking over the exterior of the house. "It's nice."

"Thank you. Uh, after you, as well." Splin said, pushing open the doors, which sounded with a hurtful creak. He patted the doors softly, and the creaking stopped, doors opening without protest. "It's not much, but feel free to make yourself at home. I think we have a spare bed if you'd like to rest."

"Well, thank you!" She looked around the small house, Splin and Sharq walking behind the kitchen counter.

The two brothers began dragging out another huge mattress from that inexplicably small drawer, passing over another mattress with a sticky note labeled, "Tai's", presumably the Octoling's preferred bedding arrangement. As they pulled at the large fluffy fabric structure, Maria sat down on a seat by the counter, looking around with a melancholy look on her face. A little sea snail hopped up to her, peering out of its shell wonderingly. She smiled a little, and pet Salty on its shell, gaining its affection. It hopped up and down happily, then bounded off to its bed, landing in it, shaking the name-tag on the bed.

"...Hmm." She sighed, Splin pausing the progress to look at her.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"I know it probably sounds… Redundant, but I just feel a little… Sad." Maria huffed. "...Like I'm missing something… Or someone, important to me."

"Yeah." Splin looked away. "...I know that feeling."

"Do your parents mind at all if I rest here?"

The mattress hit the ground with a loud thud, the two brothers standing still and silent. Maria stopped, looking around. She looked at the two brothers, two solitary beds, the entire place empty save for the Inklings, as well as other, smaller, lifeforms sitting by, soaking in the awkwardness of the situation. She sat there, just as silent, piecing together the information.

"Oh. Oh no, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, sighs floating out of the two brothers.

"...Nah, it's fine." Sharq said, wiping away what appeared to be a glimpse of a tear. "They wouldn't want us to worry about them too much anyways. Hang on, we'll… We'll get your bed ready in a few minutes."

Maria nodded solemnly, sitting tighter on the counter stool, her face looking down. The two of the younger Inklings grasped the side of the mattress, pulling hard on it, finally freeing it from its tiny confines of the counter. They laid the mattress on the ground, and went to retrieve blankets and comforters for the amnesiac Inkling. After a few minutes of more awkward silence and bed chores, the bed was completed, or at least as far as a well dressed mattress and pillow would get to a bed.

Maria smiled. "Uh, thank you so much!"

Both of them looked up, smiling slightly. "No problem, feel free to relax-"

Taking the offer immediately, the older Inkling flopping down onto the quickly, breathing peacefully, much to the brothers surprise. Splin blinked turning over to Sharq, who did the same, already lying on his bed.

Splin shook his head. "Why does everyone in this house always sleep as soon as they even touch a mattress?"

A harsh chime sounded out, getting Splin's attention. The alarm clock hopped up on the counter, signaling that it was still ten 'o clock. PM. At night. Ahem.

"Okay, I get it, we need sleep to function! Cod!" Splin cried out.

Changing to squid, he scampered to his bed, leaping underneath the sheets. He took one last glance at the amnesiac Inkling woman, a face of worry put to rest, when sleep deprivation kicked in and knocked Splin out cold. He drifted off to dreamland; his brother followed his lead in the bed next to him and the both of them fell asleep, the last image of consciousness being Maria, who slept on the floor contently.

* * *

Now, normally when Splin woke up, it was either natural, forced via device, cough alarm clock cough, or gradually woken up by the sounds of the day: Birds and sizzles.

...Sizzles?

He sniffed the air. A warm inviting scent permeated his nostrils. Never again would he have expected to be waken up by the sweet smell of pancakes, that was his job for Sharq. Nevertheless, he smelled them, his eyes slowly opening up to find the source of the scent.

"Good morning!" Maria called out, a skillet in her hand. "Hope you don't mind, but I've taken the liberty of cooking us breakfast!"

"Wait… Breakfast, with searingly hot frying pans...! NO!" Splin cried out, jumping to Maria, who slammed her hand on the counter menacingly. "Uh, I didn't mean-"

"Now, Rem." Maria smiled, causing Splin to back up in fear.

" _...Wait, Rem, what?"_ Splin thought, but was cut short by Maria pointing the skillet at him threateningly. Well, threatening for a skillet, at the very least.

"That wasn't very nice of you." She grinned, her eyes closed as well. The aura she gave off was nothing less than terrifying, however.

"...Now…" She began, but was cut off by another menacing voice.

"Stop. Right. There."

Maria turned around, where Sharq was patting the Carbon Roller with one hand, an ominous grin to rival hers smack dab on his face.

"Now, we took you in, gave you a place to sleep, and yet you still feel like you need to beat up my brother. I'm just warning you, if you keep going the way you are right now…" Sharq's left eye glinted and a bead of sweat dripped down his face. "Y-You're not going to like what happens next!"

"Ix, sweetie, calm down-" Maria frowned and stepped forward. Despite his weapon in his hands, Sharq backed away nervously. Maria just smiled a sickly sweet grin at him and said, "Put the roller down, and we can..." She then gaspe and dropped down, pan of pancakes falling down besides her. Splin caught her by the elbows, Sharq seeming satisfied.

"Phew, that would've gotten messy!" Sharq said and fell back on the floor.

Maria coughed, opening one eye. "...What happened? Splin?"

"What do you mean, what happened?! You threatened me with a pan, called me 'Rem', you called Sharq 'Ix', what's happening to you?!"

She stared at the floor sadly. "...I don't know. This just feels… Very familiar. And yet..."

Splin sighed, propping Maria up on her feet. "Sorry, sorry, I forgot. Thanks for making us breakfast, but try to alert us whenever you begin remembering something, I don't want to be on the receiving end of a burning pan next time."

"It's… Fine. Uh, dig in, of course." She grinned, holding up the pan, only to realize that the pan had flipped over on the pancakes, splattered on the floor. "...Whoops."

"I'll cook up some more, don't worry. You're our guest, after all. Come on, take a seat." Splin gestured to the counters, where Sharq was sitting, although glaring at the previously dangerous female.

Maria slowly walked over, and took a seat next to Sharq, who's eyes were squinted.

"What?" Maria asked, slightly offended.

"I'm just trying to tell if you're planning on hurting Splin again." Sharq stared harder.

"No no, not at all! Look, it was an accident, I'm… I'm sorry, Sharq. Never meant any harm to you or Splin, I promise." Maria said, standing up straight. "I'm just...confused."

Sharq examined her for a while, then smiled. "You're lucky I forgive people easily."

Maria smiled, then a sharp pain erupted in her legs, completely eradicating her smile. "Gah!" She quickly dropped herself down on a seat, inspecting her legs, which seemed perfectly fine. She gave them a couple quick test taps on her legs, frowning. They felt normal to her, nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hmm." She ignored it for the most part, tilting her head up at the counter, where a large tower of pancakes was already stacked. "Seems like a little much."

"We normally get another person here." Sharq explained.

Splin's tied up tentacles twitched upwards once he realized exactly whom he meant. It was too late for him to do anything about it however, as a crashing noise confirmed his fear.

"'Sup nerds. Aww, you already made breakfast for us Splin? That's so sweet."

"...Oh no." Splin turned around rigidly, confirming that Tai had indeed jumped into the house as par for the course.

"...You okay Splin? You look kinda uneasy." Tai tilted her head, dropping her Octoling Goggles by accident. Her eyes shrank once she realized there was another Inkling in the house.

The trio of story regulars froze with shrunken pupils, sweating bullets at the woman Inkling. She frowned for a moment.

"...Wait a second. Would you happen to be…" Maria laid her right hand on the counter. "An Octoling? ...Hmm."

"Uhhhhhh…" Tai stood there dumbfounded, reaching for her Octoshot holstered by her side.

"Tai, don't!" Sharq cried out. Tai took her hand away, putting them behind their back innocently. "She doesn't mean any harm… I hope. She just lost her memory, me and Splin wanted to help her out!"

Tai scoffed. "You two are WAY too trusting. She clearly knows I'm an Octoling, and judging by her clothing…" She gestured to the agent uniform she wore. "I'm pretty sure she could be lying."

Maria huffed, crossing her arms. "Splin, Sharq, you know this girl?"

The brothers turned to each other. They nodded simultaneously, both speaking at the same time.

"She's friendly."

"She's our friend!"

"Could've fooled me." Maria muttered.

"Maria, look I know it may seem bad, but trust us, Tai wouldn't harm a fly!" Sharq exclaimed.

Tai shrugged. "Not exactly."

"Uh, look we'll just leave you two here to talk." Splin stammered, grabbing a plateful of pancakes and dashing out the door.

Sharq nodded. "Sounds like a plan." He did the same, refilling his plate, then jumping out the window, breaking through the glass pane.

The two females ignored the odd departure of the two, both staring each other down, also ignoring the fact that Maria was taller than Tai.

"I don't know why… But all I feel towards you is anger." Maria stared down at Tai intensely.

"Likewise. Dunno your deal, but if anything those two taught me, people can be different. You on the other hand… Sigh. Okay, pretty sure we got off on the wrong tentacle. Look, you seem okay-" Maria, although she didn't entirely understand why, threw a punch, which Tai dodged rather effortlessly. "I tried."

* * *

Splin and Sharq sat outside, Sharq nibbling on a cake, Splin with his eyes still wide and hands on his cheeks, sitting down worriedly.

"Was it really a good idea to leave those two in there to talk it out? Maria seems a bit… Unstable in her current, reminiscing condition, and Tai… Might splat her if something goes horribly wrong."

True to Splin's word, a plate flew out the window, luckily the already shattered one to prevent further damage payments.

"Okay, now it's time to get involved." Splin stated, dashing inside the house.

Sharq gulped, pressing down on his hat. "If I die, at least I can die knowing I ate a bunch of pancakes."

The two crashed through the doors, adopting a makeshift fighting stance, but halted when they noticed the two sitting still, their faces still in thought. Maria was lying down on her temporary cot, face aimed at the ceiling. Tai inexplicably had a notepad and a pencil in her hands separately, nodding at each word Maria had to say.

"I think the reason I got angry at you… Maybe some Octarians from my past hurt me in some way."

"Mmm hmm." Tai listened, writing something down. "Seems to me like your memories are kinda messing with your head, making you biased towards me. Eh, don't worry, I'm sure at least half of the other Inklings out there would try to punch me in the face too."

Maria sighed, nodding. The two male Inklings in the house stared, impressed. Tai turned to the two, giving them a thumbs up, and threw away the pencil and notepad elsewhere.

"Rrgh, I just want my memories back, names keep bouncing around in my head. Callie, Marie, Rem, Ix… Jack." Maria stated.

"...Well, for what it's worth, I'd like to apologize for your loss… Of memories." Splin corrected himself. "But hey, Sharq, Tai and I will do whatever we can to help you out."

"Really? Even after I tried to fry you?" Maria asked, rising from her resting spot.

"Of course, we wouldn't leave you hanging! We're going to keep trying to get your memories back, even if Splin has to get slammed by a frying pan!" Sharq announced proudly.

"Yes- Wait a minute, what does that have to do with anything?!" Splin shouted.

"Physical reenactment is a good way to remember memories for amnesiacs, I've heard." Tai explained. "Also it'd be pretty fun to watch you get hit with a frying pan."

Oh boy, wouldn't that be a riot.

"Wh- Gee, thanks voice!" Splin cried out.

The others chuckled at the other Inklings embarrassment.

"Thank you all. ...Huh." Maria looked around, inspecting the entire house.

"What's wrong now?" Sharq tilted his head.

"I get the feeling that we're being watched…" She said.

"You're not wrong!" Ann-Gel's voice said, the tiny statuette popping up by her. Tele-Cube, the alarm clock, and Salty all arrived as well, taking her by surprise.

"Um. Care to explain?" She gave a hopelessly confused smile.

"Oh boy… This is gonna be a long morning." Splin sighed.

"Like it hasn't been already?" Sharq smirked.

The three younger cephalopods began explaining to their new, adult acquaintance about the sentient objects, a lengthy day still ahead of them.

* * *

Meanwhile, again, for the third time, in a different but previously mentioned universe, an Inkling man was standing over the corpse of a sea lion, carrying a sword in one lone hand that was stained with the blood of his enemies. Rad.

"...Doing this for you." He whispered to no one in particular, then ran off, presumably to do more cool stuff that I can't detail in this story.

* * *

AN: Seriously You Are Not Going To Understand This Unless You Read Other Author's Stories Author's Note Wow This Is Really Long I Apologize: ...I think that I detailed it pretty well in the underlined text above actually, but sorry. I was asked if this could be a little thing added, and being the turtle I am, I couldn't help but oblige, apologies to anyone who gets confused reading this chapter. Anyone else who is thinking of asking for a request in particular, I'll try my best, but I can't make any promises, sorry. Anyways, time to respond to reviews! Thanks to Dread Angel, Anon360, Mr. Loner, and OctoInkling75 for reviewing! Dread, let's hope that the slight box paranoia Callie has doesn't happen often in your universe! Anon360, thanks for the Internet pun, I guess! Mr. Loner, yep, you're gonna see a lot of TF2 references, so you might wanna get your vaccines for those, it's reference season all seasons here. Finally, OctoInkling75, sorry I couldn't implement your idea in this chapter as I just received it when writing this, but as soon as I start working on the other chapter, I'll see what I can do, nice catch on the mistake I made while writing the Sharq chapter by the way. Don't worry about the multiple reviews this one time, either, as long as you don't spam reviews its okay. Well, anyways, that's all for today ladies and gentlemen, thank you for reading, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to finally complete the Pokemon League in Alpha Sapphire, sayonara for now!


	25. The Brothers and the Markman's Challenge

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Marksman's Challenge**

The brothers stood outside their home facing Inkopolis, the females staying indoors, seeing them off from behind the open doors. Splin turned around, peering cautiously at the older Inkling.

"Are you going to be fine here? Food, clothing, anything?" Splin asked.

Maria chuckled. "I'm fine, but could you try and grab a fresh set of clothes? These clothes may have been… 'Fresh', sometime ago… But now…" She gestured to the dirty set of "Hero" clothing she had on, the futuristic shoes normally brimming with light, fizzling out with loud cracks. "Heh, ironic that the younger Inkling would be asking me what I would want."

Splin looked to the side, rubbing the back of his neck, moving his headphones. "Sorry!"

"No need to apologize Splin." Maria smiled warmly.

"Yeah man." Tai agreed. "Just get the lady some clothes, can't expect her to romp around without some fresh clothes, am I right?" She coughed momentarily. "Cod those squids in the plaza are really getting to me. A-Anyway, you know what to do!"

"Got it, let's go bro!" Sharq exclaimed, dropping onto the grass as a squid.

Splin nodded, taking his headphones off his neck and placing them on his head, following Sharq's lead. The two blasted off into the stratosphere, straight through the clouds, becoming blue specks in the sky as they headed towards Inkopolis. Tai quickly waved, then immediately turned to Maria, who was staring away at the sky.

"...We can morph into squids?" She wondered aloud.

A large smack could be heard, Tai's hand planted on her face. "We have a lot of work to do. Come on, lemme show you the basics, you never know what might happen around here." She motioned for her to follow her outside, shutting the house doors as they left to reteach Maria the basics of the art of being a squid.

* * *

The brothers nailed the landing for once, landing perfectly in the center of the plaza. Perfectly, at least, for a squid that just splat straight onto the ground. Sharq rose shakily, shaking his head to relieve some of the dizziness, coughing up a bit of blue… Blood? Hold on.

A dab of the blue substance Sharq coughed up floated seemingly magically in midair, and was deposited in a floating test tube nearby. The test tube vanished, leaving Sharq mystified. Splin, not so much, considering he was sprawled out on the black asphalt, slightly beaten up from the landing.

"What are you doing with that voice?" Sharq asked, stretching his arms, which cracked suddenly. He gasped, inspecting the appendages, only to be reminded once again that squids have little to no bones.

Tests to determine if this is blood or ink, the very canonicity of this world depends on it!

"Really?!" Sharq's eyes lit up.

No, actually I have no clue if this is blood or ink.

Splin stretched all of his usable limbs, all easing with satisfying clicks. He put a hand to his mouth, wiping away another mystery fluid to human knowledge.

"Both. Definitely both." He sighed, cleaning himself as best as he could.

"What's the plan for today?" Sharq asked to his brother, who was currently shaking off excess blood/ink by repeatedly switching from squid to kid.

"Well, I thought of participating in a few Turf Wars, maybe some Ranked Battles, then buying new clothes for Maria like she asked. Possibly even purchase that new… Heavy Splatling Deco."

Sharq perked up immediately at the mention of a new ink gun. "New weapons? Sweet, I'm in!"

Splin smirked. "Don't you always… Well, we better get a move on if we're to get all of this work done today."

Both of the brothers dusted themselves off, and headed for the glorious Inkopolis Tower, the Great Zapfish watching over them. Until they were rudely interrupted.

"BEHOLD, IT IS I. THE GREAT ARI!" The infamous trickster shouted, his squad supporting him traditionally joining in with a chorus of, "Yeah!"s.

"Keep walking." Splin whispered to Sharq, failing once he realized Sharq was already greeting the egotistical Inkling. "Voice, give me strength."

Okay.

A sticker of a strength clothing buff, a muscular orange arm, drifted down by Splin's feet. Splin took a deep breath, two hands raised parallel in front of his face, his eyes closed in frustration. He breathed back out, picking up the sticker anyways and stuffing it into his pocket.

Heh, sorry. As you were.

Splin rolled his eyes, making his way over to Sharq and the notorious troublemaker, a crowd already gathering around them. The Booyah Base stores' shopkeepers even paused work, looking out the clean windows at the gathering. Splin snuck through the crowd as a squid, popping back up at the center where Sharq was standing with the others.

"Ari, what do you have in store this time?" Splin asked with an eyebrow raised.

"So glad you asked, rival of mine!" Ari grinned.

"Rival?" Splin questioned.

"Of course, you have bested me on numerous occasions before, but hey, you pretty okay, for a scrub of course!" Ari chuckled, the females of his squad joining in with their trademark use of giggling.

"...Thanks?" Splin looked to his brother, who was hopping excitedly. "Sharq really?"

"C'mon Splin, get into the spirit! He might have something cool for us to do!" Sharq said excitedly, still hopping up and down.

"Last time you told me to 'get in the spirit' of things, I almost got splatted by a man on fire and burned a skeleton's house down." Splin reminded him.

"Anyways," Ari shouted, getting the crowd's attention. "These two gentlemen have offered to take place in a new challenge I have devised!" The crowd oohed at this declaration. "These two will be in charge of a challenge of endurance and precision!"

Splin put a hand to his chin in thought. "Endurance and precision…"

"Correct, Splin, it shall be a test of snipers!" Ari declared, throwing his hand up into the air, prompting the crowd to cheer wildly.

Sharq sighed. "Aw. Wished it was rollers."

"Now, you two will be in charge of entering a standard map rotation for an hour, using only Splattershot weapons! Subs and Specials are okay too, use them all you like. Unless of course…" Ari walked closer to the brothers, a cheeky grin present on his face. "You're too scared to try."

The crowd nearly burst into hysterics at the slightly overused bait insult. Splin and Sharq simply stood there, Splin with an indifferent look, whereas Sharq was riled up and ready to go.

Sharq scoffed, in an playful, amused way. "Yeah?! Well-"

"H-Hey! S-Stop picking on them, Ari!" A nervous voice rang out, then faded.

"Oh yeah? Who's gonna make me, this two sure as shell ain't!" Ari snickered, the crowd gasping in surprise.

"E-Excuse me." The voice whispered throughout the crowd, Inklings being lightly pushed to the side.

A female Inkling passed through the crowd, arriving at the center behind Sharq. She was a pink tentacled Inkling, with blue eyes that shyly darted around, with very light skin. She wore a full Squid Girl outfit on; a white cap resembling a squid head, a white tunic with pink accents, and a simple white pair of shoes with pink bands covering her legs just above the shoes, the same bands connected to her arms. She seemed uneasy, cowering slightly behind Sharq, who gave her a reassuring smile. Murmurs among the crowd began, most of them saying, "Cute.", or "Aww…" in response.

Ari's eyes expanded, kinda like a certain member of the DK Crew's. "Holy. Squit." He whispered. Coughing, he adopted a snarky grin, and slowly advanced on the girl. "Hey baby, you wanna join our squadron later, we have room for one more." He told the girl, winking. His squadron did fabulous poses besides him to try and amplify his flirting method.

"A-Actually, my name's Aqua… A-And no thank you." She squeaked, moving further behind Sharq in an attempt to shield her from the awkwardness of the situation.

"Oh, I know you're just being modest." Ari chuckled, believing that he was getting somewhere with her. "Well then. Before you accept the greatest offer of your life, I want to know…" Ari grinned. "Were you the one who tried to call me out?"

Aqua walked out from behind Sharq, and nervously stood up straight. "Y-Yes, you shouldn't t-treat people like that, unless you were a complete bully! And n-no, I wouldn't accept an offer like that from someone like you!" She closed her mouth using her hands, blushing intensely.

A camera crew broadcasted her sick burn across Inkopolis, Marie of the Squid Sisters watching with a huge open smile and bright eyes, Callie stifling laughter. The entire crowd had their mouths agape in shock, turning to Ari for a comment. Camera flashes broke out, capturing the "moment of impact", as it were. Ari stood with eyes wide, then growled.

"Oh is that **SOOOOO?!** " Ari yelled. "Well, I think we can make room for a third contestant to this event, isn't that right?!" The crowd oohed at Ari's challenge to her, only frightening her more. She panicked, shifting to squid form and latching onto Splin's back, shivering.

"Uh… Actually, I think we need to go… Anywhere besides here today. Thanks for the offer, though." Splin coughed, attempting to rid the awkward tension in the air, Aqua thanking him profusely, hopping off his back.

Splin grabbed Sharq's shirt collar, pulling a reluctant brother away from the crowd with Aqua trailing closely behind, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Ari chuckled. "You're not getting away that easily, rivals of mine! For you see… You have already entered!"

"No, I'm pretty sure I haven't." Splin answered with his eyes closed, walking away.

"Aren't you forgetting something…?" Ari said, waving Splin's pair of headphones.

"Wha- HEY!" Splin shouted, running back for the headphones.

Ari laughed, stepping aside, letting his female friends to provide as a barrier. "Ah ah ah, you'll get them back after you win the challenge!"

"Hmph!" Splin growled, stepping back with eyes burning bright. Looking over at Sharq and Aqua, Sharq nodded with a competitive smile, Aqua shaking her head pleadingly. Splin silently apologized to the girl, who sat on the ground in morbid fear. "Alright, fine, we'll do it. What're you planning this time?"

Ari looked away, eyebrow raised. "How about…"

* * *

Splin, Sharq, and Aqua rose from a spawn point, the enclosed perimeter of Blackbelly Skatepark directly in front of them. Ramps of all sorts were dug into the area, with a large tower at the center of the map, the spawn point placed on top of a gentle incline. Similar to the Bluefin Depot challenge, the entire map was covered in ink, orange ink to be precise. Splin, Sharq, and Aqua donned a blue, nearly identical to the color conditions of the previous Ari challenge, and all had ink sniper rifles of the sort equipped, though Aqua held her Splat Charger behind her back, looking down at the floor. Splin was dusting off his Splatterscope's lens, Sharq spinning around a Kelp Splat Charger. Just outside of the map, Ari stood watching over the three, a megaphone clenched in his hands, and a crowd watching and waiting. News teams and such arrived per the norm, writing down literally everything that was happening.

Ari tapped the megaphone and raised it to his face, shouting, "Alright! The rules are simple as always, simply advance to the enemy's spawn point, and you will win. But you'll find that this might be a little more… Challenging. Like before, there will be a hidden time limit and a large group of Inklings standing in your path, like SO!"

Ari snapped his fingers, but to no avail. He snapped them again, and nothing happened. Frustrated, he began snapping his fingers wildly, until one of his female companions took the megaphone from him and raised it to her mouth.

"Uh, he means you can go now!" Rit said, giving the megaphone back to Ari, who had his arms crossed angrily.

"Uh, oh okay."

"Sorry, didn't hear him."

Battalions of squid kids revealed themselves, popping out of every nook and cranny that happened to be orange. At least half already had special weapons ready and aimed at the spawn point our heroes were standing on. A pair of orange Inklings popped out of the ink by the spawn, immediately recognized as Willie and Zip.

"You guys are playing?" Sharq asked.

Willie nodded energetically. "You bet Shady, during our lunch break, Ari asked us-"

"Pleaded, specifically." Zip added.

"To participate in another challenge! Although, I'm not really sure why you guys decided to try again after last time."

Splin sighed, feeling around his neck and head. "He didn't really give us much choice, he swiped my headphones and told us we had to beat his challenge to get them back."

Zip blinked. "Why didn't you notify the police then? He did steal your stuff, right?"

Splin facepalmed. "The better question would be, why didn't I think of that?"

Everyone chuckled, except for a certain female.

"Hmm? Hey Splin, who's the cutie behind you, your girlfriend or something?" Willie asked.

Aqua flinched. Gulping, she timidly stepped out from behind Splin. "H-Hi, my name's Aqua."

"And she isn't my girlfriend." Splin said, slightly embarrassed. "She accidentally got caught up in this challenge, and now she has to participate with us."

"Enough chit chat! Now's time for action, the crowd awaits!" Ari declared dramatically, the crowd cheering in response. Ari paused for a moment. "However, considering that there is only three Inklings on their team, I'd say that a fourth contestant could be added, what do you say?" The crowd cheered harder. "Well then, any brave souls willing to participate, the entire team who wins will now get DOUBLE the prizes!"

"I'd like to participate." A voice called out.

Everyone present looked to the voice. Surprisingly, Maria stood behind the blue spawn, her agent clothing switched out with a Squash Headband, a Sailor Stripe Tee, and Blue Slip-Ons, a Splat Charger dominantly held in her hands, with a small box at the side, an octopus sticker stamped on the front with a small hole in it. She tossed the box into the spawn rather nonchalantly, and climbed over to the spawn point. Splin's eyes went wide, while Sharq was beaming. The crowd warmly greeted her, Maria walking towards the spawn point with one arm waving and the other holding onto the sniper rifle, her tentacles automatically turning blue as she went.

Ari was caught staring at the surprise entrance, but continued anyways. "There you have it folks, the final contestant! We will begin momentarily, but feel free to snap pictures or such of our brave participants!" Ari shouted.

Splin greeted Maria nervously, then stooped down to the box. "Tai, what made you think this was a good idea?!"

Tai's voice scoffed, a pair of eyes rolling in the shade of the box. "I figured this would be a good way to get back some memories, reliving Turf Wars and junk. Besides, it's good exercise if anything! Give her a chance man. Also I wanted to watch some people get splatted." Tai giggled evilly.

Splin looked over at Maria, she was smiling down at Splin. "Trust her Splin, it's going to be alright."

"She completely just 'evil laughed' us like a super villain would, and you would trust this decision?" Splin deadpanned.

"...Well, didn't you trust her despite…" Maria gestured to the box.

Splin sighed in defeat, nodding his head. "Could you at least explain where you received the new clothing from?"

"Ask Tai, she knows." Maria said, preparing to fight.

Splin looked at the box. The small yellow Octopus eyes looked up at an invisible flashback cloud.

* * *

A male Inkling wearing a white and purple baseball cap with other unimportant fashionable clothing, similar to the one worn by Jelonzo, the shopkeeper of Jelly Fresh at Booyah Base, was hauling a large box overflowing with clothing to said Jelly Fresh store. An octopus slid up from behind him, and choked him out silently, knocking him out. Tai switched to humanoid form, tossing the unconscious Inkling out of sight, and stole the entire shipping.

* * *

"...I bought it." Tai stated.

Splin decided not to press her for questions.

An anxious squeak could be heard, both Maria and Splin turning to Aqua, who was looking at Maria, and down at herself, crossing her legs shyly. Maria sighed, patting Splin on the head, much to his embarrassment and her hidden joy, and walked over to Aqua. She was crouching to Aqua's level, speaking softly to Aqua, who was visibly calming down.

Suddenly, Aqua shouted, "O-Okay." Aqua gripped her Splat Charger, raising it above her head with a flick of her tentacles. "I'll try not to l-let you down... A-At least, I hope so…"

Splin smiled. "This… Could actually work."

"Are you four ready?!" Ari asked through the megaphone, unfortunate bystanders literally bursting from the impact of the megaphone, sending others away in fright. People set up warning tape around the prideful Inkling, backing away from him.

Splin looked over to Sharq, Willie and Zip. Willie and Zip waved their goodbyes, switching to squid form, and swam away towards the enemy base, orange ripples barely visible as they went. Maria stood back up, picked up the cardboard container and laid the box down by the spawn point, the barrier reacting slightly to the Octoling's presence, but with no onlookers noticing whatsoever.

"Three!" Ari began. "Two, one…"

The entire crowd went silent for a moment.

"GO!" Ari shouted, the crowd bursting, not literally, with excitement.

Two Killer Wail specials were prepared by the enemy team immediately, both setting the large speakers on the ground and firing weirdly visible orange sound waves simultaneously at the blue spawn point, deflecting harmlessly off the barrier, although making the three young Inklings back up, the cardboard box sneakily hopping away, throwing some insults to the, "Squid-Jerks" as it will. Maria, however, narrowed her eyes, a memory of a certain DJ octopus coming to her mind. The racket of the Killer Wails faded out, and the orange Inklings were prepared to fight, but were completely caught off guard when Maria splatted two with a quickly executed Splat Bomb, precisely sniping down others advancing. Splin, Sharq, and Aqua all stood shocked, mouths wide open. Maria noticed this, and blushed in spite of herself.

An enemy E-Liter shot from the tower fired close to her, Maria gasping in shock, ducking for cover in the ink as a squid. "Little help here?" She asked from the blue dyed portion of the floor.

They all shook their surprise off and nodded, the three charging into the field of battle, leaping off the ramp. Heh, "charging".

"Good one voice!" Sharq chuckled, slamming a Sprinkler into some poor Inkling's hiding spot, then poking her with his gun's nozzle, firing.

"...Always with the puns." Splin sighed, obviously not a patron of the fine art of honestly bad puns. He fired rapidly at a Krak-On Roller player who tried to sneak up on him, splatting him after three shots. He moved to the right through a wooden half pipe, advancing on the middle with Aqua following behind, supporting him steadily with a careful watch.

Maria trekked alone through the middle, firing a straight line of blue at the tower, staining the tower wall. She turned to her left and right like a sprinkler, blasting down enemies with ease, splotches of blue breaking the perfection of the field of orange. Climbing up the side of the tower she inked, she hopped out of the ink onto the top of the tower, securing an almost invincible vantage point, taking out enemies with ease.

Sharq squealed in amazement, with somewhat of a fanboy-ish charm to it. "That's so cool! How do you that that so easily?"

Maria shrugged happily. Spying a Splat Bomb tossed at the tower from the corner of her eyes, she leaped off, and kickflipped the bomb back towards the enemy base, nailing the sender in the face. "...Practice, I suppose."

Her splatting spree didn't last long, as a group of rollers practically dogpiled onto her, rolling over and over where she once stood in fear that she might somehow reanimate in seconds. Finding that she wasn't some supreme force of nature, they immediately moved onto Sharq, who frantically squirted feeble blasts to the left in an attempt to escape. It didn't work to say the least, a Splattershot user gunning him down in seconds.

* * *

While the other two began to respawn, Splin and Aqua were currently trudging into enemy territory, moving up a ramp close to the right side of the wall, left from the enemy spawn's point of view. Splin led the way, Aqua hugging her gun as she followed closely behind.

"...You seem tense." As Splin said that, Aqua had shuffled behind a large cube planter, shivering. "Aqua, I know it's probably not my place to ask this, but why exactly did you stand up for us if you're… Not exactly… A people's person…?"

Aqua peeked her head out, looking around. "N-No reason, I just… Erm… F-Felt like doing it, hehe!"

Splin turned his head around, a disbelieving frown on his face.

Aqua cringed, her eyes darting in every direction Inkling-ly possible. After what felt like a century to her, mere minutes to Splin, she sighed deeply, sitting on the ground.

"...n't wan…" She murmured.

Splin sighed, shaking his head. "No, it's fine, sorry I asked."

"I didn't want to get involved!" She shouted.

Splin turned around, surprised. Aqua clamped her hands tightly over her mouth, but Splin, who quite frankly was fed up with this, pulled her hands down and stared directly into her eyes.

"What were you going to say?" He asked, Aqua's face slowly turning crimson. She scooted backwards, eventually getting stuck against a wall.

Aqua looked down at the ground, face still red, and spoke, "...I didn't want to get involved. I've never been one to get into Turf Wars… All the boys just try to f-flirt with me, and the girls make fun of me for being… Shy." She confessed, her eyes drooping. "...But I was never one to take a bully sitting down. When Ari challenged you, I wanted to help you out somehow, try to get him to stop. But… Oh, look at me now. U-Useless, just f-following you around while you d-do all the work…" Her voice cracked, and she depressingly stuffed her face into her tunic.

Splin's face was that of sympathy and concern. Putting a gentle hand on the girl's shoulder, he mentally groaned at what he was about to do. He pulled her into him, and embraced her, a surprised yelp from her coming out. Expecting a slap, a knee to the 11th tentacle as they call it, or anything else painful, he shut his eyes. It never came, instead quiet weeping from the girl could be barely heard, Aqua hugging Splin tighter. They stayed like that for a few moments, when Splin broke the hug, taking his hands away and putting them on his lap.

"Listen… I'm no good with cheering people up, certain that's Sharq's job. I'm not amazing at Turf Wars either, and I'm especially terrible at trying to console people I just met." Splin began, a teary-eyed Aqua listening intently. "...But what the heck. You helped us out, you laid a burn on Ari, you're still helping us now. You don't have to do anymore, you've done plenty for us already, but we really appreciate it. Now, if you wish, hurry back to spawn and rest. We'll take care of this. If you can, though, I'd really appreciate it if you could battle alongside us, one last favor?" Splin smiled, although in his mind he was not at all convinced he had said the right things.

Despite this, Aqua hugged him, and stood up straight, confidence oozing out of her, tentacles flapping excitedly. "...N-No, thank you Splin, I definitely feel better now." She took up her Splat Charger, aiming at the sky. "I'll do my best, don't worry!"

*Splin's decent, makeshift speech fills Aqua with determination.

Splin stood up as well, pointing his gun in the air as well. "Then it's settled, let's go!"

Unfortunately, the moment was immediately spoiled by a well timed Splat Bomb detonating in their faces, sending the two back to the spawn point.

* * *

All four of the blue team members reappeared at the spawn point. Maria stretched her fingers, Sharq rolled his head, Splin took a deep breath, and Aqua was smiling courageously.

"You all have thirty seconds left! Do your best! (But I hope you fail anyways.)" Ari shouted, and whispered the last part to himself. The audience gathered around the skatepark looked on patiently.

Splin motioned to his teammates to huddle closer. "Alright, I have a plan. When I fire one shot, everyone will swim in a straight line through the new ink, and will pop out and blast anyone who is in range. After we're sure that there are no more threats present, we'll shoot forward again, repeating the process until we finally reach the enemy spawn. Understand?" The other three nodded. "On the count of three. One, two…" Splin raised the Splatterscope to his left eye. "Three."

He fired, and the others jumped off, changing to squids in midair, landing safely into the blue ink. Splin aimed and shot at a Roller advancing on the line, taking him out. The other three swam ahead, reaching the end of the line, where Sharq elongated the line with another Splat Charger blast, launching a Sprinkler sub weapon onto the tower, pushing off enemy snipers. The retreating snipers were dispatched by Maria and Aqua, shooting in tandem as enemies moved closer, splatting three. Splin attempted to rejoin his teammates, but was splatted by a .52 Gal user. Sharq flinched, firing backwards at the enemy, however, was quickly overpowered by a group of Splattershots.

"Ten seconds!" Ari chimed in.

Maria shot forward, Aqua running with all her might. Maria ducked as a squid, barely avoiding orange attacks as she Super Jumped back to spawn. Aqua was just about to reach the spawn point, climbing the ramp leading up to it. Willie and Zip blocked the way, close to splatting her, when a timer sounded.

"Time's up!" Ari shouted.

Judd, present as usual, tossed a can of sardines into the trash can. ...Let's say evil sardines so that no fish get offended. Somehow appearing at the center of the stage on top of the tower, he waved up an orange flag, signifying orange's close victory. "Meow. (Orange team purrvides a solid defense!)" Upon declaring that, he scampered off to the Inkopolis Plaza.

The orange team cheered, as well as the crowd, though some were disappointed the blue team had come so close to achieving the goal. At the blue spawn, all of the blue team were neutral about the loss. Maria was glad she had participated, though Splin sat with a slightly disappointed scowl. Sharq had his hand on his back, Aqua standing in front of them, apologizing profusely.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She repeated, freaking out.

Sharq waved calmly. "It's okay Aqua, you did all you could. Splin, you gonna be alright?"

Splin sighed. "...Hopefully. I just wished he hadn't have taken the headphones. Money, sure. But the headphones?"

Across the map, Ari raised the megaphone back up to his face. "Nice try, rivals! Maybe next tiiiime!" Ari laughed, Sari, Rit, and Bas echoing, "Nice try!".

Aqua pouted, staring angrily at Ari, but was stopped by Splin. She whimpered, sitting in between the brothers, her palms on her cheeks as she pouted, both brothers and amnesiac mother comforting her.

"Yo, Loudmouth! Aren't you forgetting something?" Willie shouted from the orange spawn.

Ari stopped laughing. "Eh? Uh, yeah yeah, good work. You can go home now."

"You promised, 'double the reward', remember?" Zip reminded him, arms crossed.

Ari gulped, and his squad looked absentmindedly in different directions.

The entire orange team began nodding in agreement. The crowd began to murmur among themselves.

"...Ah, y-yes. I have the reward, right here in fact…" Ari chuckled nervously, and pulled out Splin's Designer Headphones. "You see? Double the headphones… Heh heh?"

"...Are you kidding me?" An orange team member questioned.

"more like, 'are you squidding me'." A voice called out in a goofy font, a trombone going off in the distance.

"OH MY **GOD** , SANS." Another voice groaned in a textured font.

"...That's the reward?"

"What the heck, are you serious?!"

"I could just buy headphones for cheap!"

"I paid a hundred coins for this?!

"Uh… You were lucky, we'll meet again!" Ari cried out, pointing at Splin, tossing the headphones towards him, only for them to land in Zip's hands.

Ari dashed away, his squad members running after him, parts of the crowd chasing after him with everyone else going home rather unsatisfied. Zip shook her head, and waved to her teammates, dismissing them. She and Willie swam through the ink, which was slowly evaporating with the match's ending. Popping out by the blue spawn, all ink now completely erased, she handed the headphones over to Splin, who gladly accepted, wrapping them around his neck.

Splin raised his hand out. "Thanks Zip!"

Zip took his hand and shook it, nodding. "No problem, dude."

"After all, what's a Music Man without his headphones?" Willie said. "Good game!"

"I don't believe you've introduced me." Maria said.

Sharq smiled. "I'll fill you in!" He began walking with the others around, telling Maria of how Splin and he had met the two, Maria nodding with each detail.

Aqua turned to Splin after the others had left, twiddling her fingers.

Splin reached his hand out for another handshake. "Thanks again for helping us Aqua."

Aqua grasped his hand, and shook it once. "Aquatica."

"Hmm?" Splin hummed curiously.

"M-My full name's Aquatica Reef, in case you were wondering…" Aqua said.

"I think it's a great name." Splin smiled, Aqua doing the same.

Aqua and Splin smiled in silence, watching Sharq emphasize an Inkstrike sailing through the air with his hands, when she all of a sudden, she gasped in realization.

"W-What time is it?" She asked.

Splin reached into his pockets, pulling out his still hardly used phone. "...5:58." Splin read aloud.

"Oh no! I have to get home soon for dinner!" Aqua took off quickly, running outside the stage, but not before waving goodbye. "Bye Splin, it was nice battling with you! A-As a teammate, I mean!"

Splin waved back, as Aqua ran towards the city underneath the evening sky. Looking over at Sharq and Maria, he noticed that Zip and Willie were also waving, the two lovebirds holding each other's hands as they playfully raced away. Sharq and Maria walked up to Splin, who was walking away as well, towards the exit.

"Hmm. What'd you think, Sharq? Good day?" Splin asked.

Sharq grinned, a gleam from his teeth flashing. "Sure did! Pretty weird, but hey, we've seen worse!"

Splin smiled. "Maria?"

"Wonderful! I mean, we were very close to victory, shame we didn't win, but I feel… Great!" Maria smiled.

A box, covered in orange, hopped over to the three. The eyes inside surveyed the area carefully, then Tai popped out of the box, dusting herself off. "Told you." She said, looking at Splin. "So Maria, any memories?"

Maria paused, a puzzled look on her face. "...Not many. I DO remember how to Super Jump and fight. But other than that… Hmm. I did remember something… C'mon, what was it…?!" She strained her brain, searching for the fleeting memory.

"Whoa, no need to go nuts over it." Tai calmed her down. "It'll come back to you eventually, don't worry."

Maria sighed, looking to the stars that were popping out of the cover of night. "...I suppose."

"Alright guys, I think it's time to head home, we deserve a break~" Sharq yawned, eyes closing.

Splin nodded, slinging a shoulder around his brother. "You don't look too hot right now, just making sure. Shall we?" Sharq nodded, and the four walked off, switching to aquatic lifeforms as they exited the skatepark, Super Jumping back to the house.

* * *

"Rem, what are you doing?" Maria asked to a young Inkling squid, not yet developed into a full humanoid shape yet.

"Callie and Marie!" She managed to say with excitement, though the words were somewhat gurgled.

Maria rubbed her squishy little head, a happy squeal coming from the squid. "Hee hee, enamored with them as always I see. What about you, Ix?"

Another young Inkling squid sitting by pointed with a tiny tentacle to a television screen, where the young and upcoming pop stars, The Squid Sisters, were shown onscreen. The squid was specifically pointing to Marie for some reason, emphasizing her with each point. Maria giggled, rubbing Ix's head as well.

"Heh, they still watching them?" A slightly raspy yet fatherly voice called.

"Yep." Maria stated. "...They're fanatic about them, wonder if they'd be great friends someday?"

"I'm sure they would." The raspy voice said. The owner of the voice stepped out, his face blurred, about to hug Maria, when the memory faded out.

* * *

"Maria, are you okay?"

Maria shook her squid head as best as she could while in the air, Splin and Sharq looking at her with tilted heads. Tilted relative to the ground at least. Maria nodded.

"She was probably just thinking, guys." Tai suggested.

The four were close to landing to the house on the hills the brothers called home. As soon as it seemed they were actually going to land perfectly for once…

"Aaagh!"

They didn't. Maria, being the complete amnesiac boss at life as she was, landed mostly unharmed, landing through a hole and onto her cot luckily, but everyone else completely missed the house, rolling down the hills.

"...We forgot to earn money for the beacon." Splin sighed, picking himself and his friends up, the three walking back up to the house, resting after that travesty of an event.

* * *

AN: Awkwardness in Reviews: This is a bit of an open note to Ultrapyre. First things first, thank you for reviewing, as well as Dread Angel, Darkstar248, and Mr. Loner, but this is a note to Ultrapyre. While I thank you for reviewing, and while you probably didn't mean it, please try to respect other writers when reviewing. Dread Angel seems to have taken the matter personally, even if you may have just been stating your opinion, I'd like to ask that you try not to bring down other stories on my review page, (unless it's this story) thank you. But hey, I'm not your parents, so I can't really do much. Anyways, for the other reviewers, thanks again. Dread, I'm glad I could get Maria's personality down, really helps that you'd think so. Darkstar248, this story's writing process is pretty random, so don't be too surprised to find more of that! And Mr. Loner, I kinda agree, the Merasmissions are a little annoying. Especially when you try to write a story and you get a NEW ONE. Ahem, sorry. Anyways, thanks for the third time, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, hopefully I can finally finish up my fourth TF2 story chapter. Adieu!


	26. The Brothers and the Minor Zapfish Issue

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Lights Out**

The Bate Brothers, for once, woke up early to get some work finished, the sun slowly rising over the hillside. The two of them were working on top of the roof/second story of their house, installing a huge, yet to be finished beacon, the tripod base already firmly nailed down to the house roof, next to the three Inkling and Octoling shaped holes in the roof which were cheaply boarded up. The satellite dish to the beacon resembled a Squid Beakon dish commonly constructed (but never used by any teammates) in Inkopolis Turf Wars and Ranked Battles, the dish itself already built but not yet connected, lying on the side.

"Heh, it took us a whole week, but we finally got around to this. Feels good knowing that we won't crash land… Well, as much, as we normally have been doing." Splin stated, wiping sweat off his forehead.

"Two problems solved!" Sharq grinned, gesturing to the beacon and the patched up holes in the roof. "Now all we have to do is earn money in Turf Wars for food, get groceries to save, test out the Tele-Cube, buy Salty… Snail food… And help… Maria get her memories back. Huh." Sharq sighed. "That sounded a lot better in my head."

"One issue at a time, Sharq." Splin said, pointing at him with a wrench. He turned back to the beacon, rotating a screw to fit one of the parts that would hold the net dish. The screw fell off, and the part that he was supposed to screw it into fell apart, landing on the floor. "...Slow but steady I suppose."

During the brother's tedious and so far fruitless work, Maria was sitting downstairs, watching television. Tai was no longer in the house, away at the Octarian headquarters presumably doing nothing too important considering her actions. Maria was currently surfing through channels, boredly tapping on the remote. Figuring she'd had enough of drab entertainment and poor highlights of Turf Wars, she nearly clicked the power button, when a certain news report got her attention.

A flustered news reporter was on screen, shock present on his face. "Hello, I am here on the scene at 'Diamond Beach' by Inkopolis, where currently something that appears to be a… Black hole it looks like, is consuming nearly everything in sight! We go to News Chopper 20 live right now, recording the scene from a bird's eye view!"

True to the unknown reporter's details, the viewpoint of the camera switched to an aerial view, a shaky helicopter camera providing footage of a purple vortex over a beach, consuming everything. A group of Inklings could be spotted by the beach shore, one passed out and the others staring at the vortex in horror. One of the members of the group swiftly broke this standstill, running up towards a building and leaping towards it, using the building as a bit of a stepping stone to jump towards the vortex. Maria, who watched the entire event, was dumbfounded, her eyes shrinking in amazement.

"Wait, was that…?" Maria gasped, turning off the T.V. shakily. She held her head in her hands shakily, and fell down on her mattress, shivering. "...J-Jack?"

Just then, the trapdoor to the roof opened with Sharq tumbling down the stairs. He shook off the impact of the floor easily, and ran over to Maria.

"Maria! What's the matter?" He asked, inspecting her from all over.

Maria stood up quickly, shivering intensely. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?"

Sharq looked at her with a completely mistrustful face. "I lived with my shaky brother for fourteen years now, I know a lie of that caliber when I see one. It's normally a sibling thing, but I think I have a bit of a 'sadness' radar or something."

Maria sighed, burying her face into her palms. "I thought I saw someone… Someone I remembered on the T.V."

"Really?" Sharq asked. Sliding over to the T.V. as a squid, he manually hit the power button beneath the monitor, turning the television back on. The events taking place were still being reported on, the black hole on the monitor growing bigger. "Oh. Yeah, Splin and I messed around with the T.V. a while ago, and we keep getting weird news reports that don't seem to be accurate. Watch."

Sharq grasped Maria's hand and pulled her outside. Opening the doors, he brought her behind the the house, the side that overlooked Inkopolis, and no black hole or any sign of imminent doom was currently transpiring.

"Splin says that it's probably a 'strange occurrence', like the time an Inkling we met vanished, or when we met a skeleton for the first time... This might be one of those deals. You said that you recognized someone from the newscast?"

Maria nodded, prompting Sharq to go into a state of thinking.

"Hmm, weird. Well, I'll tell Splin about this, but lemme know, or my brother, if you see something like that again. We'll probably ask voice later, but in the meantime, relax." Sharq smiled.

"Alright, thanks Sharq." She said, patting him on the head. Sharq beamed at the friendly pet, and gave a thumbs up.

"Sharq!" Splin yelled from the house roof. "I think it's ready, but just to be sure could you test it really quick?"

"Sure!" Sharq stated, tipping his cap to adjust it, then turning into a squid.

The brother Super Jumped straight up, his trajectory arcing slightly, then he began his descent towards the house. It wasn't entirely successful, Sharq landing approximately five feet (1.5 meters, yes this is a running gag) to the right of the beacon, hitting the soft grassy terrain close to the house.

"Ah… Thanks Sharq." Splin called out to his brother, then resumed tampering with the beacon.

Sharq dizzily stood back up in humanoid form, shaking his head. "Oh! I just remembered, Splin, come downstairs really quick, I wanna show you something!" With that being said, Sharq dashed around the house, and jumped through the window again as a squid, the already shattered glass providing a perfect opening.

" _Adding, 'fix the windows' to that to-do list."_ Splin reminded himself mentally. The beacon's work was put on hold, Splin laying the wrench by the beacon, walking downstairs. Closing the trapdoor behind him, he took a seat on the staircase, looking down at Maria, who noticed the brother entering. "What did Sharq want to show me?"

"This!" Sharq popped up from behind the kitchen counters, the television remote in his hand, and clicked the power button, pointing at the monitor. The program blinked back on, chaos still the main topic. The Inkling who had vaulted himself into the vortex was missing, but another Inkling was traveling into the vortex.

"Is that…?" Splin squinted his eyes.

Apparently the person flying into the destructive violet whirlpool of death was Callie of the Squid Sisters, glowing as she entered the portal.

"...Are you serious." Splin frowned. "How…"

Before Splin could go into another rant about logic, the television shut off, the screen fading to black.

"What the-" Splin turned over to Sharq, who was holding the remote with a surprised face, Maria mirroring his expression.

Sharq looked down at the remote, then back at Splin. "I swear, that was not me."

Splin tilted his head, one of his lower eyelids closing in puzzlement. Splin dashed outside, the doors to the house still open, and looked at the sky. The sky didn't have anything out of the ordinary besides a few gray (grey if you prefer UK English) clouds in the sky.

"Voice?" Splin asked aloud.

Dimensional business.

"Ah, so nothing we should worry about?" Splin said, sitting down on the grass and peering at the sky.

Not at the moment, no.

"That's a relief- Wait, not at the moment? What exactly does that mean?" Splin questioned concerned.

Hey, look at the city!

Even though Splin wasn't thrown off the trail at all, he turned to the city of Inkopolis. Not much changed, although he noticed a lack of activity, vehicles weren't moving, hardly any lights were visible, and the city simply laid there, dormant.

"...Huh. We're going to have to take a longer break from working than I thought." Splin said, observing the city.

"Yipee!" Sharq shouted, jumping on Splin. The two tumbled down the hill, Splin yelping in surprise and scolding his brother during the fall while Sharq cheered, not caring much now that he didn't have to do much work.

"Ow…" Splin groaned when they hit the bottom, Sharq landing on top of him as a squid to lighten the collision.

"Sorry, just glad I don't have to do anymore work!" Sharq exclaimed, hopping off of him.

Splin switched to squid form, shaking his head. "...We don't have school or jobs, what are you talking about?"

Sharq shrugged using his two longer tentacles.

Splin sighed. "We're not going to stay for long, we're just going to see what's happening, then retreat back to the house and finish working on the beacon."

"Aww…" Sharq frowned.

The two of them prepared to Super Jump, not before yelling goodbye to Maria up on the hill. Maria walked outside, quickly waving goodbye to the two, who Super-Jumped away to the city of Inkopolis, Maria watching them disappear through the cloudy sky.

* * *

The brothers were heading towards Inkopolis Tower quickly, the tower growing in size as they came closer and closer to the large monument in the middle of Inkopolis. Splin braced for impact, curling his tentacles up to protect his eyes, stopped by Sharq poking him.

"Hey man, it's fine. The Great Zapfish will cushion our fall!" Sharq smiled, letting his tentacles flap in the wind.

Splin opened his eyes, then widened said eyes. "Okay, well then would you happen to know where the Great Zapfish **is?** "

Sharq's squid brow furrowed in befuddlement, he looked over at the tower expecting a giant glossy catfish to be generating electricity as always. Instead, the green tower was bare, no catfish to be seen.

"Oh no!" Were Sharq's last words as he and Splin rammed into the tower at high speed, somehow causing the structure to collapse and fall over onto the plaza.

The tower's glass lookouts on the top were smashed to pieces, as well as the many sattellite dishes stationed upon it. The tower quickly burst into flames, burning the plaza as well, the blaze spreading across Inkopolis, ruining the city with just a day, scarring survivors and eliminating several others. The tragedy would be remembered for years to come…

* * *

Just kidding guys, the two brothers didn't slam into the tower and cause a mass catastrophe, they slammed into the tower, and dropped to the grounds like flies, the tower hardly showing any signs of damage, much less a single dent. The two landed on the ground fine compared to the tower's unforeseen harsh welcoming, bouncing back up after the landing, Sharq's hat floating down perfectly onto his head.

"At least we teched the ground…" Splin groaned, rubbing his head.

Now you're getting it!

Sharq dashed out from under the tower, the pain from the head-on accident with the tower dissipating gradually. Sharq turned back quickly towards the tower, the Great Zapfish nowhere to be found. Sharq beckoned for Splin, the other brother shaking his headphones on his head to making sure that they weren't damaged, and to determine if the ringing in his head was from the hit or a headphone malfunction, stepping over to the middle of the plaza where Sharq stood. Splin inspected the tower curiously, trying from every angle to search for a clue of where the Great Zapfish could be. Splin looked around, the plaza looking rather deserted, the only other people left in the plaza shopkeepers at the Booyah Base, boredly waiting for any business that would walk in. Judd sat asleep as usual, not changing too much. The Squid Sisters' studio monitor was shut off, and the music that normally played on large speakers underneath the plaza was silent, the plaza essentially a ghost town.

"...It's the middle of the day." Splin stated, the sun shining down brightly. "Don't people have other things to do, right?"

Well, some people spend a lot of time with electronics, heck, look at me for example.

Splin looked up to the sky. "Okay, first of all, how would I know that you use electronics, you're a disembodied voice. Second of all, I can't physically 'look at you', because you're **a disembodied voice.** "

Fair point.

"Splin, we gotta do something." Sharq said. "We can't just let the electricity stay off, people are counting on it!"

"Sharq, we are literally the least qualified Inklings in all of Inkopolis to be searching for Zapfish. The Inkling agents, Cap'n Cuttlefish, even the Squid Sisters could help the populace out better than us. I don't understand why you'd think that we'd be a good fit." Splin lectured his brother.

Sharq stood with an unwavering smile, though his eyebrows shifted in a nervous manner. "Heh, eh… Honestly I just don't want to have to work too hard on the beacon…"

* * *

Tai whistled, hanging out in the rec room of the Octarian headquarters, sitting on a chair with her feet on a table across from Chi, who was dozing the day away, both of their Octoling Goggles hanging on the back of their chairs, the other members of the Octarian cast sitting nearby on different tables, Shockwhisk playing around in his little space as usual, generating energy for the entire base. Tai stopped whistling and looked up, turning her head every which way.

"What's the matter, T-41?" Aussie asked, taking a sip out of a drinking glass filled with a cider.

Tai grinned. "Something tells me that one of our Inkling pals have achieved something beautiful in the art of laziness."

Jerry the Octocopter floated up. "Wow! What does that mean?"

Tai leaned on the table, her fist resting on her cheek as she smiled. "It means I'm darn well proud of them, that's what the shell it means, Jer."

* * *

Splin had his elbows crossed as he spoke to Sharq, "Really?"

Sharq closed his eyes, smiling still. "Splin, the project can wait, but there are people out there who want to watch television, play video games, and surf the Inkternet. We could very well be the people who can, and WILL help these poor people through these tough times! What do you say?"

"Don't know about you, Agent B, but I agree with A here!"

The two brothers turned to the source of the voices. Heroically posing on the railing, were the Squid Sisters themselves, Agent 1 and 2, disguised in their trademark pink and light green caps, 1 covering her eyes with a pair of sunglasses, 2 covering her mouth with a surgeon's mask. Clearly visible though were the Hero Headsets sticking out, and the Hero Runners. Underneath a pink sweatshirt and a green jacket were Hero Suits barely sticking out.

"We're here to help find the Zapfish and bring them back!" Agent 1 told them proudly, Agent 2 nodding in response.

Sharq pumped his fists up in the air, a determined smirk on his face. "Yeah! You heard the pop- Uh, Agent 1, Spl- Agent B, l-let's go!"

Sharq turned to Splin, who switched to squid form and was already planning to Super Jump away.

Sharq's mouth gaped open. "What?! Come on man, you're not planning on bailing on us, are you?"

"Bro, I'm not going through this cycle of, 'strange-adventures-then-worrying-about-it-later'. I already did that with Kaz, and quite frankly, I don't want to do it again, no matter how cool I thought the guy was." Splin stated, beginning to jump away, but was snatched up into Sharq's Takoroka Mesh, Sharq putting the hat with Splin inside on his head, holding it tight.

"Mmph, Sharq!" Splin mumbled through the cap, struggling to escape.

"We'll help you out, you can count on us!" Sharq told the popstar cousins, irritating Splin more.

"Great! Let's go to Octo Valley right now!" Callie said, making a dash for the manhole.

"Slow down, Cal." Marie told her, grabbing her by the back of her sweatshirt. "We're likely to face severe resistance. Plus, we might wake up Gramps…" She shivered. "We'd never hear the end of it."

"Splin and I could scout the area out, you know, and then report back to you!" Sharq suggested. The rustling in his hat followed by mumbles of protest must've meant that Splin wasn't a fan of this idea.

"Good thinking! You up to it, Agent A?" Callie asked, while Sharq was trying to keep a lid on his cap.

"Don't-" Splin tried to convince his brother, getting cut off by Sharq patting him harshly.

"Yeah! We can handle it." Sharq said. A sigh of failure came from the cap, and the fidgeting in Sharq's Takoroka hat ceased, Splin becoming silent.

"Awesome! Well, you better hurry, we'll start on looking out here, report back when you're done!" Callie called.

The pink Squid Sister flipped off the railing, landing perfectly on the ground, and ran off. Marie rolled her eyes, jumping down as well, running to catch up with her cousin. Sharq pat his hat sympathetically, and ran off to the manhole, kicking it open with a loud clang. He dropped into the hole, keeping his hands firmly on his hat. In almost no time at all, Sharq popped out of the other side, the manhole cover conveniently set to the side to prevent any more loud noises. Cap'n Cuttlefish sat besides the manhole, preoccupied with sleeping on his blue couch. Sharq grinned, and ran off, but not before stumbling across a new relic.

"Huh?" Sharq paused, stopping in front of a floating slab. This slab seemed completely barren, with some engravings, and an odd amount of bedazzled stickers on the front and back.

"Argh!" Splin finally managed to escape from his brother's cap while he was distracted, tackling the cap to the ground. Popping back into humanoid form, he picked it up and gave it back to Sharq, though he wasn't entirely happy with doing so. "Don't do that." Splin said, pointing at Sharq with a glare.

"Sorry man, but the people need our help!" Sharq stated.

Splin huffed. "Alright, alright, but next time warn me when you're going to do something like that."

Sharq smirked. "The point is to be sneaky like that."

Splin sighed. Turning to the slab, he narrowed his eyes, moving in for a closer inspection. Suddenly, he had an idea. Taking out the N-ZAP '85 he somehow managed to sneak into his pockets, he blasted the stone with ink. There, drawings and writing was revealed, the ink dripping off those areas cleanly.

Splin tilted his head. "...Unless I happen to be imagining things, it looks like some sort of… Dedication, to a group of people."

"Really? Who to?" Sharq asked.

Splin scanned the text, then began reading. "'Director: Yusuke Amano, Tsubasa Sakaguchi'? Programming: Shintaro Sato- What?"

Uh.

"'General Producer: Shigeru Miyamoto, Katsuya Eguchi', Executive Producer: Satoru Iwata'..." Splin read from the bottom, with a hint of wonder. He skipped past a disclaimer, reading another message aloud, "'Thanks for playing'?" Splin wondered what the words meant exactly. "...Voice?"

…

"These are video game credits." Splin said.

"Wow. What are they doing down here?" Sharq asked.

I'll tell you when you're... Ready.

"We already know how reproduction works." Splin stated.

Not that! Anyway, don't you guys have a "mission"?

"...Yeah." Splin said, taking one last glance at the slab. The ink was already beginning to dry off, evaporating quickly off the stone.

The brothers left the floating slab, and continued towards the Octarian base. Reaching the hidden kettle, they dived through the grates in squid form, sliding through towards the heart of the base.

* * *

The Octarians were still hanging out in the rec room, boredly sitting by as Shockwhisk played in his little area. Tiny lightning bolts flashed off of him every then and now, scorching the floor, leaving black marks wherever they hit.

Tai whistled, getting Shockwhisk's attention. "Hey, Shockwhisk, catch!" She tossed a fluffy slice of toast, which Shockwhisk caught in midair, gumming it down. Before the toast vanished into his maw, electricity from Shockwhisk's whiskers gradually toasting the slice as it was devoured. "Never gets old."

A rustling could be heard from above, when out of a kettle exit came the Bate Bros, who landed in the kennel Shockwhisk was playing in. Shockwhisk greeted them happily, licking Splin and Sharq, giving them static chills, although they happily pet the electric catfish, leaping over the small fences corralling the fish.

"What up Splin, Sharq?" Tai greeted the brothers casually, her legs now crossed on the table.

"Hey Tai! Aussie, Chi, Jerry! What's going on?" Sharq greeted the others back, who answered with waves of their tentacles or light snores.

"Greetings, Agent A, B." Aussie said.

"Nice to see you Splin and Sharq!" Jerry said happily.

Splin waved, clearing his throat. "Hi, uh… This is kinda awkward of me to ask, but would you guys happen to see where the Zapfish have went?"

One of Tai's eyebrows rose, eyeing the Inkling brothers carefully. "Hmm..." She swiftly grabbed an Octoshot, raising it to Splin's head. "Alright, what did you do to Splin? Talk."

"Tai! Don't freak out, we're just missing the Zapfish, and the Inkling agents asked us to help find them!" Sharq explained, though he adopted a defensive stance.

"...Really? Alright, then you'll answer this question-"

Splin cleared his throat again. "Whenever you come over, you sleep on a mattress and a pile of comforters."

"Yep, that's you." Tai smiled, pulling her weapon back. "To answer your question, sorry man, but we haven't seen another Zapfish besides Shockwhisk here, if he counts."

"T-41, you drop suspicion too quickly, the agency could have brainwashed them heavily for all we know!" Aussie stated.

Sharq shrugged. "Well, how do we prove ourselves?"

"Sharq, we don't have a lot of time. We need to find those Zapfish, then go back home and finally finish work on that beacon! Come on man, could you listen to me for once?!" Splin said frustrated. Splin coughed suddenly, shaking his head. "No, sorry. Forget it."

Aussie sat back in her chair. "Hmm. Brainwashed people don't show as much emotion as that. Okay, you're clean. Although, the issue Splin seems to be having… That's on your own."

Sharq looked at Splin sadly. "...Splin, look, sorry about forcing you to go on this mission with me. I knew you didn't want to follow me this time, and I'm sorry. ...That being said…"

"...You still want me to follow you around, looking for the Zapfish?" Splin said.

"Yeah… If you want to." Sharq said.

"...Heh. Heh heh…" Splin chuckled. "Well… Ha. Ha ha ha! I-I'm sorry, it's just I'm so used to being the one who apologizes… Urm! Well, thanks for the apology brother. Sure, I'll still follow you, but please be a little less rough with your persuasion methods later on, unless we're in some sort of bad situation or something."

Sharq smiled. "There we go! Sorry for uh, wasting your time guys, let's go bro!"

"Hold it, I'm tagging along, nothing to do, as usual." Tai said, hopping off her chair. "Kinda wish Octavio still fought the Inklings, to be honest. It's been flipping boring around here."

"Target practice." Aussie added.

"Boring." Tai retaliated, Aussie rolling her eyes behind her goggles.

"Alright, do you happen to have a box with you?" Sharq asked.

"...Actually, I happen to have something else in mind." Tai said, looking at Sharq's cap.

* * *

"So, did you find any Zapfish?" Callie asked, setting her sunglasses down a little, exposing her golden irises.

"Nah, sorry. What about you?" Sharq asked.

The four Inklings were congregating by the glass window railing bordering the Squid Sisters' studio, Splin and Sharq sitting on the railing side farther from the glass.

"We managed to find the Great Zapfish sleeping in an intersection with the help of some other agents, as for the other guys, agents from all over Inkopolis are helping us with that." Marie informed the two. "You two did a good job, feel free to take a break, but if you happen to find a Zapfish, give us a call."

The two pop stars disguised handed the two numbers written down on small sheets of paper.

"Roger that." Splin stated.

"Who says 'Roger' anymore?" Callie asked playfully.

Splin rolled his eyes, Marie following his lead.

"You see what I have to put up with?" Marie said. "Anyways, thanks again, see you later Agents A and B!"

The two celebrity cousins leaped off the railing, and ran off out of the plaza, presumably off to find more Zapfish.

"A break from our break. How ironic." Splin stated. "You know, we technically didn't really do much to help them."

"Dude! We got the phone numbers of pop stars?! That's so cool!" Sharq said, raising the numbers in the air.

"Sharq, careful with those, without those, how are we going to notify them if we find any Zapfish?" Splin said.

"Whoops, sorry." Sharq said, stuffing the numbers underneath his hat. The slips were pushed out, Splin catching them and folding them neatly into his pant's pockets.

"Watch it! Maybe stowing away in here wasn't a great idea." Tai's voice came from underneath Sharq's hat.

"Told you, should've used a box, those things are super reliable." Sharq stated.

"So, you ready to head home?" Splin asked.

Sharq shrugged. "Sure! I've been dragging you around all day, so this seems fair."

The brothers switched to squids, Tai flopping down as an octopus besides them, and the three Super Jumped, the Great Zapfish winking at them as they left the plaza.

* * *

The three landed nearly safely, stopping directly in front of the entrance to the house, landing on the soft grass. The three shook off grass blades, wiping off dirt and flora as well.

"See, the beacon's fine!" Sharq said, gesturing to the roof.

"...Yeah, I guess so. Doesn't mean it can't fail us later if we don't work on it now." Splin said.

"Ugh, this talk of work is really bumming me out, I didn't come here to build a stupid satellite dish, no offense." Tai said, stretching her arms.

"You can take a nap on your mattress." Splin offered.

"I love you two." Tai said, pulling them in for a quick hug, then sprinted inside.

"She really likes sleeping." Sharq observed.

"She's a soldier who's been fighting a huge war for quite a while, of course she'd need some sort of rest." Splin said. "...That's my explanation at least."

The two brothers entered the house, where Maria was watching the television, the power now turned back on. She was staring at the screen with a slightly scared look however, wrapping her arms around herself. Tai was watching as well, curious.

"What are you two looking at?" Sharq asked.

Tai pointed at the screen. The camera that was filming was cracked, but the scene being filmed could be perceived clearly. The only surroundings were a large strip of metal acting as the floor, a black void providing as the sky. Two Inklings could be seen were standing in front of something, the camera unable to see them perfectly.

Maria clutched her chest, (in a dramatic way, don't look at me like that) holding her breath. "...Splin, Sharq?"

The two brothers looked up at Maria puzzled. She was extremely tense, small beads of sweat and glimpses of tears in her eyes.

"I think I… No, I recognize the person standing there." She said, turning to the screen.

Sharq squinted his eyes. "...Uh, Callie?"

Maria and Splin closed their eyes patiently.

"Sharq, I'm sure she meant the man." Splin pointed out.

"...Jack." Maria said.

As if he heard her, the man turned to the camera, confused.

"Jack? You know him?" Tai asked.

"...Heh." Maria smiled. "Yes, I'm sure I do."

"Well then, let's get over there somehow! We can reunite the two!" Sharq stated.

"Yes, because we all know where dark, ominous, metal sheet world is." Splin said. Pausing, he looked up to Maria. "Well, at least, we don't."

Maria turned to the two Inkling brothers, Splin already brewing a plan. He went over to the counter, saying hello to Salty resting on his bed, ducking under the counter. Tele-Cube sat on the floor contently, not making a noise. Picking him up, Splin brought the cube in front of the television, having him float in front of it.

"Alright Tele-Cube, would you happen to know where this place is?" Splin asked.

The cube rotated rapidly, colors shifting on each side, then stopped. The cube floated to the ground, a single word on the top side.

Splin picked up Tele-Cube, reading the word aloud. "'Splax-X'? ...That's pretty vague. I can't ever recall a place called, 'Splat-X'."

Maria eyed the cube. "...Me neither, never heard of the name. I suppose, that could be where I'm from. We need to find a way over there!"

"Maria, we can't be hasty, you've seen the condition that place is in, we might get splatted as soon as we arrive!" Splin said, Maria humphing.

"Splin, if you wanted to go home, wouldn't you try to find any ways possible to get back?" Maria stated.

Splin sighed. "Yeah, I suppose I would." He looked over at the television screen, the Inklings being recorded adopting fighting stances, prepared to fight. "Hmm. Alright, we'll see what we can do. Sharq?"

"Yeah?" Sharq said.

"Let's head upstairs, I have an idea." Splin told him.

The two brothers dashed up the flight of stairs, opening the trapdoor. Standing on the roof, Splin set the Tele-Cube by the beacon base.

"Now, this is just a theory of mine. But if the Tele-Cube can generate dimensional rifts, then if we were to somehow enhance its abilities, we could teleport specifically to the world detailed on the news." Splin said.

"We're going to use the beacon for that?" Sharq asked.

"...That was the initial plan, but the more I think about, the less likely it seems it might work." Splin told him.

The Tele-Cube began to glow, getting the attention of the two brothers. The cube hovered onto the tripod base of the beacon, and pointed a flat arrow on its screen facing the brothers towards the beacon satellite dish. Splin and Sharq walked over, and hefted the dish just above the Tele-Cube. The cube shone brightly, sucking the satellite dish in, attaching the dish to it like a base. The cube glimmered brightly, then finally ceased, the surface of the cube becoming quiet, and the texture becoming gray, unmoving.

"Oh no!" Sharq gasped.

"Tele-Cube, are you alright?!" Splin asked the block.

The two brothers felt a tapping on their backs, Splin and Sharq turning around. They walked back startled, the Tele-Cube hovering behind them. The Tele-Cube had a laughing face on its screens.

"What the…? How are you doing that?" Sharq asked.

The Tele-Cube flashed brightly, then floated backwards, another gray replica of the Tele-Cube appearing in its place. The two stared in awe, Splin observing the cube carefully.

"You never cease to amaze me, Tele-Cube." Splin said.

The Tele-Cube chimed happily. Hovering back over to the beacon, he flashed again, the cube replica resting on the beacon shimering a bright green in response. The beacon also flashed green, signaling that it was operational, for whatever reason.

Maria and Tai arrived upstairs, standing just outside of the trapdoor. "What's going on? We saw a light from the roof!" Maria asked, concerned.

Splin turned over to the two, smiling. "Maria, are you ready to go home?"

* * *

AN: *build-up intensifies*. Well, hopefully. I'm going through another, "Idea drought", but don't worry, hopefully after the next chapter I'll have something good. Uh, let's get straight to the point, or in this case, the reviews! Thank you Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, OctoInkling75, Anon360, and Hoopa679 for reviewing! Thanks Dread, looking back I shouldn't have expected anything less than that from Maria! Ultrapyre, thanks for understanding, I realize that not a lot of people will get my references, but I'll try and make them fit in better or use less, and don't worry about the writing thing, this story was practically made under that idea of, "let's hope I don't get shouted at". OctoInkling75, you are very welcome, it was a joy to write her into the story! Anon360, yes, as you can tell, I have caught the Undertale fever as well, thanks for noticing! Last but certainly not least, Hoopa679! Thanks for your kind words, but adding Aqua into future chapters is really up to OctoInkling75, it's her character after all, I wouldn't want to add a character that has been requested multiple times without the owner's consent, that would be rude of me, so it's up to OctoInkling really. Anyways, that wraps today's chapter up, thank you again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to practice using a Desert Eagle in Counter-Strike: Global Offensive and fail horribly, as well as get hyped throughout the new Nintendo Direct! See you!


	27. The Brothers and Maria's Universe

Oh noes! A Disclaimer: This is going to feature quite a bit of Splat X references. If you do not care for the story of Splat X, or simply don't understand the references, I recommend skipping over this chapter, and the next. I will post another chapter as soon as I can after the Splat X ones for those viewers who do not wish to read the story, as awesome as I find it. That being said, for those who are going to read, minor spoilers for MGSV: TPP ahead. ...You know you're going heavy on the references when you spoil other games in a Splatoon story. Besides that, anyone who wishes to read, hope you enjoy it. Also, for fans of Splat X, forgive me, I might completely fail to capture some of the other characters in the story well, so bear with me on this.

 **Splat X: The Bate Bros.**

 **Universal Problems**

"You're going to… What?" Maria asked, leaning on a railing.

"We're going to teleport you home." Splin repeated.

The four sat outside on the roof, evening in Inkopolis quickly approaching, though the anticipation was thick in the air. Tai sat by the trapdoor, her legs dangling from the top of the roof towards the ground. Maria seemed to be in shock, staring unwavering at the brothers and the beacon.

"...Teleportation." Maria repeated, just to be sure.

"Affirmative." Splin said.

"...So, just to be clear…" Maria began jokingly.

Splin put a hand to his forehead with a sigh, Maria giggling at his apparent annoyance.

"I'm sorry, I had to." She said chuckling.

"Alright, straight to the point, if Tele-Cube somehow manages to work with the beacon, SOMEHOW, I think we have a pretty good chance of getting you home." Splin gestured to the beacon, which Tele-Cube was floating around,lights flashing as if directing the replica, the beacon whirring nosily as a result.

After a few minutes, the Tele-Cube hovered in one place, turning one side flat to the onlookers. Its screens showed an image of a progress bar, a 99 percentage underneath the bar advancing to a full 100 percent. The beacon satellite dish spun around rapidly for a while, slowing down after a minute's worth of spinning. The beacon stopped, facing Inkopolis, lights on the beacon glowing red.

"Hmm…" Splin bit his lip, turning to Tele-Cube. "I suppose it was silly of me to expect a Squid Beakon to create a huge portal."

Tele-Cube shook, as if to shake its nonexistent head. An arrow on the screen facing the sky pointed in the same direction as the beacon did, the arrow bouncing in that direction to emphasize its point.

"Ah, sorry. Looks like we have to make a trip to Inkopolis." Splin said.

The Tele-Cube nodded, spiriting itself towards Inkopolis. Reappearing for a moment, it pointed the arrow towards Inkopolis one last time, vanishing once more. Splin turned to the others, an inquisitive look on his face. Sharq grinned at Splin.

"...What?" Splin asked.

"Time for another break?" Sharq smiled slyishly.

"...Shut up." Splin sighed, though he smiled as well in spite of himself. "Maria, Tai, you ready?"

"Eh?" Tai said, keeping her legs still. "Yeah, I'm game."

"Yes." Maria said, looking over at Inkopolis.

"Hmm." Splin muttered. "Well, let's get going."

The two Inkling brothers present changed into squids, Tai becoming an octopus, and aimed at Inkopolis, their tentacles primed for launch.

"...So, um… Super Jumping there?" Maria asked.

"Yeah, why do you ask? You know how to Super Jump, right?" Splin said.

Maria's eyes looked down, away from the others. "...I don't remember how. I think as long as there is a spawn point or something, but other than that..."

"To be fair Splin, how many other people do you know who can Super Jump all the way from over there-" Tai pointed to Inkopolis Tower, nearly a spec in the distance. "From here? Heck, I'd think that all those times we landed with just a scratch was lucky."

"Then, how'd you and Maria get over there without Super Jumping?" Splin asked.

Tai reverted to humanoid form, her eyes looking back at an imaginary flashback bubble.

* * *

"Got you some new clothes!" Tai grunted, pushing the box of clothing up the hill. "I hope so, at least."

At this point, the clothing in the box Tai had… "Purchased", was nearly ruined. Clothing that stuck out of the box had been discarded on the way, Tai not really caring as it had lightened the load considerably, making the job just a little easier. All that was left was a Squash Headband, Sailor Stripe Tee, and Blue Slip-Ons. Regardless, Tai pushed the box up the hill slowly but steadily. After about a couple minutes of labor, she collapsed in front of the house, large box sitting in front of her.

"How was this house even built on this hill?!" Tai complained, slumping on the grass, her tentacles falling flat as well.

"Ah, Tai!" Maria called out, running out of the house, looking into the box. "Did you buy this for me? Thank you so much!"

Tai raised her hand, waving slightly, then let her arm fall onto the grass lazily. Maria laughed slightly, giving her pats of recognition. She took the clothes from the box, heading back inside. After a couple minutes in flashback time, Maria had switched from the squashed Hero Suit to the new clothing, stretching her arms as she left the house. Tai was still lying facedown on the ground by the box, grass blowing over her as she rested.

"Tai?" Maria asked, poking the Octoling.

"Mmm?" Tai mumbled from the dirt.

"You said something earlier about training me. Now, I probably shouldn't be one to judge, but I doubt I'll learn much from you down there." Maria explained, hand on her hips.

Tai lifted her face from the grass, spitting out a pellet of dirt. "Bleh. Yeah, sorry. Alright, let's Super Jump to the plaza and we'll figure it out from there."

"Super Jump?" Maria asked.

Tai stared at her in silence, wind being the only thing filling the silence. "...Right, forgot that... You forgot. Hmm,let's see… How would we get you there quickly..." Tai turned to the large cardboard box.

An invisible light bulb lit up above her. Walking over to the box, she began to adjust the flaps, taking all of them and putting them on the outside. Jumping into the box, she motioned for Maria to follow her. Though reluctantly, Maria walked up and hopped into the box.

"I know it seems weird, but trust me, this is gonna be rad." Tai said, taking out her goggles from inside of her short's pocket.

Kicking the box from within, she managed to edge it towards the hill slope, when gravity took over, the box acting as a sled. The box flew down the slope quickly, when it hit another smaller hill, launching the two into the air. Maria ducked in the box carefully, looking up at the Octoling, who was pumping her fist throughout the flight.

"Yeah!" Tai shouted, the box hitting the ground soon after, sliding away.

* * *

"You slid all the way there in a box? That shouldn't be possible, laws of gravity and friction dictate that you wouldn't go further than a few feet after the landing." Splin said, switching to humanoid form throughout his explanation.

Tai took out her Octoshot, spinning it, then blew on the nozzle as if it were smoking, while it was spinning.

"...Okay, point taken." Splin said. "Well, would you happen to have the box sled?"

Tai stopped spinning her weapon, holstering it quickly. Raising her index finger to the sky, she put it down immediately.

"No." Tai stated simply.

"Oh." Splin said. "Then how are we going to get Maria over there…?"

"We could just… Walk." Maria suggested.

A gust of wind followed the silence, tree leaves being blown by.

"...You know, that's not a bad idea." Splin said. "Huh, it would take a while, but considering the Tele-Cube would be waiting for us… Okay, let's just walk there."

The four carefully jumped off the roof onto the grass. Running down the hills, they switched to their marine life forms, sliding down the grassy slopes toward Inkopolis, leaping over each hill. Skidding to a halt, they switched to their upright Inkling forms, walking away towards the city.

* * *

After a peaceful, non-painful walk to Inkopolis, the crew were nearing the beach, walking on a sidewalk parallel to a busy street. Tai remained hidden in Sharq's cap when other Inklings were present, peering out from within the hat ever so often. On the opposite side of the street, Inklings in Hero Suits were chasing after two Zapfish bouncing away into the street, vehicles swerving to try and prevent any damage, which only caused much more than needed, cars running into each other and buildings, crashing noises filling up the city.

"Yeesh, finding those Zapfish must be harder than I thought." Sharq said, looking over the scene.

"I'm sure they'll catch them eventually." Splin said.

One of the Inkling agents chasing after the Zapfish tripped over a small space between the sidewalk. The other agents ran back to help him, picking the agent up and running after the Zapfish, only to find the Zapfish had somehow managed to climb up on top of a building.

"Like I said, eventually." Splin repeated, watching the scene. "Odd, I haven't seen Tele-Cube at all since we've arrived."

Tai's octopus head poked out of Sharq's cap. "Well, do you think he'd be anywhere specifically? Usually in our Splatoon, we are assigned specific locations to report to. Maybe he's somewhere specifically."

Splin looked at the cap with an eyebrow raised. "That's not a bad idea. In fact, we're coming close to a beach right now."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tai asked.

Splin adjusted his headphones around his neck. "Well, I'd assume that teleportation is in any way similar to Super Jumping, you'd want to be at an optimal spot for said teleportation, a clearer shot from point A to B. What I'm thinking is that if Maria's home is similar to ours…" Splin gestured to the beach, a white line in the distance. "That possibly teleporting from this beach to the next would be easier than trying to teleport from a random spot in Inkopolis to another."

"Ah, basically, you think that being on that beach will make things more convenient?" Maria asked, Splin nodding.

"Precisely. It's really just a theory though… Just like the Squid Beakon, I can't be sure yet." Splin said, looking straight ahead at the beach, the sidewalk going on for a while.

"Then there's only one way to find out, let's go!" Sharq shouted, running ahead.

"Hold on!" Splin yelled, but Sharq was already out of earshot. Splin looked up to Maria, who was running ahead as well, excitedly. "Way to ditch me guys." Splin sighed, running as well.

The three ran through the sidewalk, the buildings of the city seeming to get replaced with flatter streets smaller shops, the sandy beach ahead of them. The sky was hardly filled with any clouds, the waters a sparkling blue, the sun setting on the blue horizon. Not many squids or kids of any description were playing in the beach, most of them probably playing in Turf Wars or something.

"Hey wait, doesn't this place look familiar?" Sharq said aloud, looking around.

"...Yeah, wait. Isn't this the place we went to meet Kaz?" Splin said.

Turning to their right down the street was a square empty space, absolutely nothing there. Tai poked her head out, nodding slightly.

"Uh huh. Definitely." Tai said.

"Sorry to interrupt, but who's Kaz?" Maria asked.

"He's-" Splin began, until Sharq cut in.

"So cool!" Sharq chimed in. "His mom's a chef, he saved my brother, and has the best burgers ever!"

Maria smiled. "Sounds like you think highly of him."

"I suppose you could say that. Wonder how he's doing…" Splin wondered.

* * *

Kaz sighed. On all accounts, he was glad to be back in his own world, but was completely frustrated. Big Boss was back, and he had rescued him from an uncomfortable arrangement in the Wakh Sind Barracks. While he retained his human form, losing two of his limbs didn't help. The fact that the scientist that completely betrayed Militaires Sans Frontières was among them made it worse. But the worst thing of all, the absolute worst:

He couldn't replicate the perfect burger.

Standing at a counter with several other men and women in a large, industrial kitchen, a load of ingredients piled on top of multiple counters. They had apparently tried fruitlessly to recreate the perfect burger Kaz had, scraps of meat and unfinished products lying about, trash cans overflowing with discarded materials. Groaning in frustration, Kaz hobbled over to a chair, sitting down with a single hand to his forehead, wiping off sweat. Kaz stared at a poster, a logo labeling a restaurant called, "Miller's Maxi Buns" at the top.

"...Gah!" Miller groaned.

* * *

"Ahem." Maria cleared her throat, snapping the younger three out of their reminiscing trance.

"Sorry, right, the Tele-Cube." Splin said, walking towards the beach.

The four now, Tai carefully leaving the safety of Sharq's cap, seeing as the coast was clear, walked over to the beach, hopping from the hard concrete sidewalks to the smooth sand below. Looking around, they hoped that they'd find a glimpse of the Tele-Cube, but to no avail.

"Dang it. I really thought Tele-Cube would be here." Splin remarked. "Sorry guys, looks like we might have to look elsewhere."

Splin could feel a tapping on his shoulder. Looking behind him expecting it to be the others, Tele-Cube struck again, startling the brother once more, jollily flying above them after the second prank.

"I should've known!" Splin shouted melodramatically.

Sharq and Tai began laughing as well, the Tele-Cube hovering down by them. Sharq raised his hand for a high five, the cube lightly pressing against his hand. The older brother cheered, Tai still giggling slightly after the initial reaction. Maria got a few laughs out of it two, snickering.

"O-Oh man, that's great! Twice in a row!" Tai chortled, taking deep breaths after the laughter subsided.

"Hee hee… Ah. Um, anyways, you can teleport, right?" Maria paused her laughter, getting straight to the point.

The cube hovered closely, nodding slightly.

"If it's not too much to ask then…" Maria started. "Could you bring me home? I'd love to see my family again."

The Tele-Cube glowed dimly for a second, then began whirring. The cube spun around slowly, gradually picking up speed, until the wind around the cube created a cyclone, whipping up dirt and water. The four stood back in awe and to keep themselves from getting sucked in and possibly killed. After what felt like hours, the cyclone diminished, the cube spinning slower. Behind the cube was a miniature rift, a small, flat opening in the air. The rift grew larger, becoming the size of a door, the vortex beckoning to the cephalopods. Sharq blinked, rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

"We're going in there?" Sharq asked.

"Yep." Splin said.

The four stood in front of the portal for a little while. The Tele-Cube pointed a small arrow to the portal, hovering just above it.

"I'm going home." Maria said.

"That's the plan." Tai said.

Finally, the four took steps towards the portal, Maria leading. Getting within one footstep away from the portal, Maria gasped, the vortex pulling them in quickly. With a flash of light, the portal vanished, blinking away, sand and water sprinkling down onto the ground.

* * *

The four reappeared… Somewhere. They all landed on a metal platform, various refined looking pumps and machineries in the background. Large clouds of smoke blew out from huge vents, polluting the skies. Splin, looking around, attempted to find out where they were, but stopped when he heard footsteps. Ducking behind a steam pump, he motioned for the others to follow him, the three sliding behind the large steam pump as their aquatic counterparts. Poking their heads out, they noticed a man on another platform, walking up to the middle. This man had blonde, spiky hair and blue eyes, a grayish purple shirt and pants with a brown belt with suspenders, and black combat boots. What really stood out about this man was the weapon he was carrying. With only one arm, he hefted an enormous broadsword, two holes vertically perpendicular to the blade's handguard, a dark gray all over except the presumably sharp edge, shining silver, the sword hilt red.

"Never thought I'd see the day…" The figure spoke in a language unknown to the four, though Tai seemed to have an inkling (unintended pun) of what he meant.

Okay, one moment, Cloud's in Smash?!

"What does that mean voice?" Splin asked quietly.

Nothing, just a guy hyping over a character inclusion.

"You mean like in Super Splash Bros.?" Sharq asked, his voice also reduced to a whisper.

Man, I've got to teach you about video games later, but not right now.

Tele-Cube hovered from behind them, another portal constructed immediately out of thin air. The two females nodded, gesturing for the brothers to follow them, stepping inside the portal. The brothers followed, but stopped, watching the swordsman. The world seemed to distort for a second, tense yet upbeat music appearing to play in the background. In front of the swordsman was now a short orange dragon with green wings, someone covered from head to toe in an orange, red, and green futuristic armor, their right arm a green hand cannon instead of a hand, and a pink puffball with red shoes or feet of some description.

"Bring it on." The spiky haired swordsman challenged the three standing in front of him.

The two brothers stood and stared with awe, but were pulled into the portal by Maria, her hand reaching back to grab them by their shirt collars.

* * *

The four reappeared, light blue all around them, nothing else in sight.

"That's strange. It doesn't look like there's much here!" Sharq said looking around.

Splin closed his eyes, attempting to stand straight, setting his foot down, but catching nothing. Looking down slowly, he tapped Sharq on the shoulder, pointing at the ground. The ground in question happened to be a couple hundred feet below them.

"Probably because we're in the realm of the clouds." Splin explained, a fluffy cloud passing by as he said that.

"Oh!" Sharq said.

Tai blinked. "Wait, so then if we're this high, shouldn't we be-"

The four dropped out of the sky, clouds blowing right past them as they fell.

"Yeah, I figured that would happen!" Tai shouted, tumbling through the air.

"You seem awfully calm for someone falling out of the sky!" Maria said, spreading her arms and legs out through the trip down.

"This happens more often than you'd think." Splin remarked, following Maria's lead.

Taking up a skydiving posture, the four faced the ground with confidence. Flailing their arms, legs, and tentacles around when they realized none of them had parachutes or a soft place to land. Closing onto the beach quickly, all they could do now is pray.

"Cthulhu, I'm sorry about the inkslide park!" Sharq yelled, hands placed together. Splin looked over to Sharq with a frown. "He could be listening!" Sharq retaliated.

Bracing for impact, they closed their eyes, knowing that this would be a painful landing. To be frank, it was. While the sand prevented them from dying, the fall was anything but pleasant, Splin and Sharq shouting out in pain as they hit the sand, though Maria and Tai got slightly softer landings on top of them afterwards, though landing on someone still isn't as pleasant for the one falling, all of them groaning afterwards. Maria picked herself up, assisting the younger squids and octopi afterwards.

"Ouch." Tai remarked, stretching every feasible part of her body that possibly could've been injured.

"Could've been worse." Sharq said, pointing a thumb towards the water, then flinched.

A group of Inklings was present at the beachfront, one Inkling was passed out cold next to another Inkling, the Marie of this particular world grieving by a puddle, another Inkling with a sword sitting by her, trying to comfort her, while a swirling mass of clouds was absorbed by the black hole seen on the news, the hole growing bigger. The four of our heroes ducked behind a staircase leading up from the beach to Inkopolis.

"See anyone you recognize?" Sharq asked.

Maria squinted her eyes. "...I can't say I do. Mmm." She muttered, feeling at the center of her body.

"Are you alright? Did you land on something wrong?" Splin asked.

"No." Maria growled, causing Splin to cease speaking. Looking over at him, Maria smiled sadly. "I'm fine."

Splin nodded. "Right, sorry. Should we ask them about the black hole? I don't want to… Break a universe by accident."

You should be fine… At least for a couple minutes.

"...A couple minutes?" Splin repeated as a question.

How do I put this lightly… Think of your presence in this dimension as… Timed.

Maria perked up suddenly, looking around. "Who said that?"

Ah, the process is already starting.

"She can hear you now?" Splin asked.

"This is the voice you keep mentioning? I thought you were joking or something!" Maria said.

Yes, hi. Anyways, more to the point, I'd have to say that a you have a minimum of about fifteen minutes to stay in this dimension.

"Really? So then, we'd better get Maria back home within that time?" Splin asked.

Yep.

The group huddled in a circle, sitting on the sand behind the staircase.

"Fifteen minutes to find specific people that only Maria know… What happens when the time runs out?" Splin questioned.

Remember what happened when you had entered this dimension initially by mistake before?

Splin looked up at the sky. "This is that universe? Oh no."

So you'd better get moving, unless you want the fabric of this universe to unravel again.

Splin sighed, looking at Maria. She gave a hopeful look in return, which made Splin feel just barely more confident. Splin peered at the group on the shores of the beach, then nodded to the others, only to notice that one was missing. Like always, Sharq had been one step ahead, currently sneaking up on the group. Splin groaned, and gestured for Maria and Tai to follow, running quickly to catch up with him. The running attracted attention, however, the sword wielding Inkling's ears perking up. He turned around swiftly, drawing his sword like any cool dude worth his salt would, pointing it dangerously close to Splin's throat, though no one was happy about that. The Inkling with the blade seemed to relax slightly upon seeing them, his stance softening, but still remained sharp as his blade.

"Huh… Civilians have all left by now. What are you doing here?" The Inkling questioned, pointing it the blade a tad closer, Splin sweating.

Sharq glared, reaching for a weapon, finding out that he didn't bring one. Splin backed away slowly to the ground, fear present in his eyes. Maria and Tai on the other hand didn't appreciate the idea of someone threatening a friend, pointing a Hero Shot and Octoshot they managed to bring along with them, readily aiming in a battle stance.

"We don't w-want any trouble!" Splin said, now lying on the ground, his eyes locked in a terrified stare at the Inkling swordsman.

Getting a better look, the swordsman was nothing short of intimidating, sharp green eyes looking over Splin, dynamic red tentacles setting him apart from the others. Well, aside from his metal jaw replacing the bottom half of his face. Other than that, he wore normal clothes, a navy blue hoodie as well as grey trousers, though they were filled with holes.

"Then you shouldn't have come to the beach today." The swordsman said, taking his sword away slightly.

"Hey man, chill out, he's just helping this lady out." Tai said, gesturing to Maria.

"Hmph." The swordsman sheathed his sword, backing away. As he backed away, his hoodie revealed the word, "Destruction" written on the back.

"My, how edgy." Maria huffed.

The swordsman didn't take too kindly to this remark, spinning back with his sword still sheathed, though his glare intensified, aiming it towards Maria this time.

"What was that?!" He asked, attempting to stare her down.

"Edgy." Maria retorted, shooting back with a glare of her own. Although he himself didn't seem to notice, the swordsman shook slightly. "I'd also appreciate it if you didn't point a sword at any of these children."

"Uh, Maria, I'm fourteen." Splin added. "Not a kid, but-"

Splin shut up when Maria turned around slowly, a terrifying open mouth smile directed at him.

"Splin." She muttered, looking directly into his eyes.

"R-Right, sorry. As you were." Splin said, backing away.

Maria turned back to the swordsman, intensifying her glare further. The swordsman seemed to waver under her stare, finally yielding, stepping back.

"W-Who are you?!" The swordsman asked, a hand reaching for his sword.

Maria's glare softened to a smile, as if nothing had happened, but still sharp enough to rival the wary warrior's sword. "My name's Maria. What's yours?"

The swordsman froze, taking his hand away from his sword completely. "...Leonidas." He said slowly, looking over Maria unsure. "...Probably just a coincidence." Leonidas muttered.

"Hmm?" Maria hummed questioningly.

"Nothing, nevermind. Who're the others?" Leonidas asked, gesturing towards the three others sitting on the sand.

"Name's Tai, if you try to kill Splin over here again I'll knock your teeth out." Tai said, stretching her trigger finger.

"Sharq. Same with what she said, I won't let you hurt my brother!" Sharq glared, despite his lack of weaponry.

Leonidas raised his hands in a peaceful manner. "I never meant to kill him, just thought he was a Sealing!"

Splin stood up quickly. "Look, we all got off on the wrong foot here. My name's Splin, but you already know that. We're just trying to help Maria get home."

Maria nodded. "Right! Uh, would you happen to know two Inklings, Rem and Ix?"

Leonidas flinched. He looked down at the sand, then back to the group of Inklings. "...They're… Dead." He said quietly.

Maria trembled at the news. "W-What?"

Leonidas sighed, looking out to sea sadly.

Maria clearly didn't take the news well, as she fell to the ground on her knees, not speaking. Tai ran over to calm her down, while Sharq picked Splin up.

"Was the threat really necessary?" Splin asked.

Sharq hugged his brother. "Yes." He said plainly, staying like that for a while.

Splin sighed, closing his eyes. "Thanks, but please don't freak out like that, I'll be fine."

Sharq nuzzled his head into his younger brother's shoulder, Splin standing awkwardly, though he managed to pat Sharq on the back gently.

"Okay, seriously, this is a bad scene Sharq." Sharq broke the hug, staring at him curiously. "Dude, as soon as we got here, we find out we only have fifteen minutes to find the people Maria know, who are gone, and I get a sword pointed at my throat. This is not going well at all."

"I mean, at least we got Maria here, so that's one down, right?" Sharq grinned sheepishly, Splin shaking his head.

"No Sharq, we have to keep helping Maria. She's devastated, man! Until we find a way to reintegrate her into her rightful society, we've practically done nothing." Splin explained.

Sharq nodded, closing one eye slightly. "Sorry, you're right. Heh, well you can't say this isn't at all exciting, sure beats working on the beacon!"

Splin sighed, shaking his head again. "Well, let's hope that things don't get any worse than they are now."

The black hole in the sky pulsated slightly, the vortex beginning to speed up. Clouds began to quickly get absorbed by the vacuum of the vortex, some water from the sea was starting to get sucked up, and debris from the sea was getting taken as well.

"And it just keeps getting better." Splin groaned.

* * *

AN: Sorry, lemme tell you my plans: After this chapter, I will begin work on the next one, sequentially, unless told otherwise by the Shared Universe group or something. I will try to finish this next one up, then immediately jump back into the Bate Bros. universe, so anyone like Ultrapyre who's not a fan of Splat X, don't fret, I got something for you, and for everyone else, I'm still going to try to include Shared Universe stuff every now and then if you guys like it. Other than getting that off my chest, time to respond to reviews as always! Thanks to Dread Angel and OctoInkling75 for reviewing! Thanks for your stellar memes as always, Dread! OctoInkling75, thank you for granting me permission to use your character again, although I'd look forward to any story you'd write with her in it, like you mentioned before. But hey, that's up to you. Aside from that, thanks for reading again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I really need to save money for Mario Maker, see you next time!


	28. The Couple and the Dine and Dash

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **A Change of Face**

"This is not looking good." Splin muttered, backing away from the vortex.

The black hole overlooking the beach increased in intensity, nearly everything in the surrounding area being swallowed up by the dark void's nonexistent maw.

"Hey man, it could be much worse!" Sharq exclaimed, ducking under a stop sign that flew just over his head.

Splin closed his eyes, his eyebrows descending irritably. Turning to Sharq while keeping the same face, he opened his eyes again, a questioning look on his face.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing, or are you in some sort of alternate dimension right now?" Splin asked him, then looked down to the side. "Actually, with what's been going on, that wouldn't be too surprising."

"This place is practically a battlefield right now!" Sharq yelled. "I beginning to think should've listened to you when you wanted to stay home!"

"Sharq, it's alright, I'm more concerned about how Maria's doing." Splin said, looking over to Maria, still sitting in the sand, sobbing into her hands. "...Man, this is much different than back home. Wonder how it's going over there..."

Splin had to cut his thoughts short, quickly shifting to squid form and ducking into the sand when a large car flipped over his head, being dragged into the sky.

Sounds like a plan, my man! See you later Splin.

"Wait voice, I didn't mean that literally!" Splin shouted, but was answered with the noise of the vortex. "...Shoot."

"Look out!" Sharq shouted, pushing Splin and himself out of the way of a mechanical battle robot of sorts flying past.

"I swear to Cod, voice, this was the worst possible time!" Splin groaned, dodging more flying objects, running up and down the beach. "We need your help now! Don't leave-"

* * *

Willie sighed, his eyelids drooped dreamily, lying his head down on a counter, looking at his girlfriend serving customers.

"Darn it voice!" Splin's voice called out, crashing noises coming off in the background.

While the two brothers kept themselves from getting hit by cars that aren't being driven, Willie and Zip were working the day shift at one of the more prestigious spots to dine in Inkopolis, Oahu. The name was derived from an ancient text that was painstakingly translated, ordered presumably by the owner to make this place look fancy. It wasn't exactly five stars however, more of like a diner you'd go on a good night, rows of tables and seats comfortably built inside, a hardwood floor and a decent sized ceiling covering the vertical parts of the restaurant, booths of all sorts lining the walls, which had their fair share of windows and decorations for the upcoming Squidsgiving holiday celebration. Outside the restaurant looked small compared to the towering skyscrapers and crowded apartment buildings of Inkopolis, though the restaurant was nothing to scoff at. Willie and Zip had donned their uniforms that they had worn on Shalloween, though they were cleaned thoroughly since then, hardly a stain of ketchup to be seen.

Willie continued watching Zip, holding on to nearly each one of her movements, watching her tentacles twirl slightly with each movement as if she were in an elaborate dance. Until a loud clang shook him out of his observing.

"Snap out of it!" A young feminine yet authoritative voice shouted, banging a pan repeatedly over Willie's head with a spatula.

"Yipe!" Willie said, covering his ears. "Dang woman, don't have to be so loud, geez!" Willie shook his head and adjusted his glasses, huffing.

"Well maybe if you took your eyes off your girlfriend for at least a couple seconds, I wouldn't have break these fine utensils over your thick head." She huffed.

The "woman" in question happened to look only a year older than Willie, standing tall and proud. Her hair tentacles were cut shorter than average Inklings, the tentacles growing only slightly longer than her ears. She wore a chef's uniform, though under her toque was a White Headband worn just under the white hat, an Aloha Shirt sticking out of her apron, and an odd pair of Blue Moto Boots, though she stood wearing the footwear proudly.

"Pela, calm down, what's so wrong with a man wanting to watch his girl work it?" Willie asked, going back to staring at Zip, when he was smacked on the head with a spatula. "Yow!"

"Let's see, hmm… I got two reasons;" Pela stated, pointing her index finger up to emphasize. "One, you're supposed to be working, and two, that's freaking creepy." Pela said, smiling ominously.

"Yeah? Well talk to me when you get a boyfriend, I'll wait." Willie retorted, ducking under a barrage of flying pans, chuckling slightly.

"Grr…"

The entire restaurant turned to the entrance, Ari busting through the doors, his Jungle Hat tilted down to cover his face. His female squad accompanied him, pushing others out of the way as if to match his mood. They all took a seat at a booth, Zip already going to wait the table, a notepad looking almost as if materializing in her hands, her hands a blur.

"Welcome to Oahu- Ari?" Zip asked, looking over him.

"Hmph." Ari grunted, rubbing his cheek.

Zip looked over at the females for an answer, which they gladly answered.

"Ari… Uh, tripped in the plaza." Bas told her. "Like, really hard."

"Really?" Zip said, intrigue etched on her face, an amused smile on her lips.

"Yep, dude completely fell over flat ground, nothing, should've seen it." Sari added, Ari glaring angrily. "Uh… How dare the ground assault my cousin!"

Uh, yeah. That's the excuse I'm going for.

"The grilled salmon and the orange juice, make it snappy!" Ari shouted, pointing his index finger in the air.

"...Please…?" Zip informed him, smiling evilly. Ari groaned, lying his face down on the table.

"We'll just have what he's having." The females chimed in at the same time.

Zip nodded, already writing in the orders in, then whirled about, speeding off to the kitchen.

"Gah!" Ari said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"What's up, leader?" Rit asked.

"...At least those scrubs have the decency to go through a challenge before I get beaten up." Ari muttered.

"Aww, you miss Splin and Sharq already?" Sari asked, eliciting snickers from the other team members.

"...YES." Ari admitted out loud, startling multiple other customers. "They're the best rivals I've ever had! Plus, they don't try to beat me up after I lay down a wisecrack!" Ari told them. "Grr, I'll give that jerk a taste of what Ari can do. ...As soon as I remember exactly who did it. Hmm."

"Hey, we find them, then? Pretty sure you can get Splin and Sharq to participate in a 'challenge', then sic 'em on him. How about it?" Rit asked.

"They only come to Inkopolis ever so often, I'm convinced that the scrubs must live out in the boondocks." Ari grumbled.

"You mean like, the hills and countryside?" Bas said, Ari nodding in response. "Don't be silly, they have headphones. They can't be living in some, like, barn without electricity."

Zip went over to the counter, placing the orders written down on the counter, in front of Willie with a grin.

"Four orders of the salmon and orange juice," Zip said, winking at Willie. "Special order from a certain Loudmouth."

"Ari? Oh no, is he gonna try and recruit us again?" Willie asked, handing the order to Pela, who nodded and ran off inside a set of doors behind a counter, round windows revealing a nearly spotless kitchen, soon to be stained with ingredients.

"Nope, doubt it." Zip said, leaning on the counter, looking over at the normally-proud-now-distraught Inkling ringleader, slumped down in his chair. "He keeps going on about how he tripped on landing on his face or something."

"Loudmouth got owned? Finally!" Willie asked, Zip giggling.

"Probably. Dude had it coming after all those times he messed with everyone else. I don't think he tripped though, probably got slugged in the face somehow based on the way he's acting. He's also fawning over Shady and Music Man." Zip said, pausing. "Man, you're really rubbing off with those nicknames of yours."

"Heh, just means we're spending just the right amount of time with each other." Willie said, his eyelids closing slightly. Zip's eyelids also lowered.

The two leaned in, lips at the ready, until Pela came back, interrupting them with a splash of water aimed at Willie's face. The water seemed to have been diluted in some way, dripping mostly harmlessly off of Willie's face, his eyes closed in irritation.

"Work, now. Need help in the kitchen." Pela told him, pointing back at the double doors.

Willie grumbled, wiping his face clean, careful not to damage his Retro Specs. He trudged back to the kitchen, not before winking back to Zip, who smiled in return. Pela turned over to Zip, slight disappointment plain on her face.

"When I paired you two together for work, I had meant for you two to work harder." Pela said, hands on her hips. "What **do** you see in him?"

Zip looked through the windows to the kitchen, where Willie was rhythmically preparing the food, a cutting knife expertly chopping garnishes and fish up, tossing the unused fish remains away and sending the meat onto a grill by the side. Applying juice straight from a lemon squeezed onto the salmon as well as other salts and seasonings, he appeared to be straight at home in the kitchen, though scraps of food left unused spread messily throughout the kitchen.

"His energy and passion, I suppose." Zip smiled. She flinched when she noticed him slip over a small spill, but was eased once she saw him recover miraculously, standing straight, blushing in embarrassment once he noticed Zip looking through the window, waving nervously.

Zip waved back, sighing. Pela simply rolled her eyes, going back into the kitchen to assist him.

Ari, on the other hand, was still sulking, the females talking gossip to each other. Looking down at his Varsity Jacket, he groaned, placing his hands into the jacket pockets.

"Don't be down, cous." Sari reassured him, placing a hand on his back. "You're the great Ari Jabin, next time he shows his face, you can just get your goons to beat him up! Also us!"

Ari sighed, a hopeful smile looking up at Sari. "Really?"

"Yeah! You never gave up trying to beat the scrubs, besides, what's one scrub to two?" Sari said.

"You're right! Ha ha, that does it, we're going to have our revengeance on him!" Ari laughed, his squad of girls swooning dramatically. "That's our leader!" They said in unison.

Zip walked by, dropping steaming plates of salmon on the table in front of them.

"After this lunch!" Ari declared, digging into the food. The females did the same, though more eloquently than the male leader.

Zip curtseyed politely, though on the inside she was cringing at the lack of manners, fish bits and greens flying off of Ari's plate.

"U-Um, hello? Are you open?" A quiet recognizable voice asked meekly, the owner of the voice stepping inside.

The small yet cute Aqua walked into the diner, a recording of a studio audience applause accompanying her, though she hardly expected such a noise to follow.

"W-Who's there?!" Aqua asked, ducking behind a table.

Zip smiled. "We'll be right with you."

Ari stood out of his chair, a grin growing large on his face. "Ayy, baby!" His squad of females posed almost mechanically to his voice, epically crossing their arms and legs while looking down, drawing the attention to their leader.

Upon hearing and seeing him, Aqua freaked out, her eyes opening wide. She squeaked, ducking with more intensity beneath a table. Ari, who never knows when to quit, slid over to her on his feet somehow, making flirty poses.

"Hey girl." Ari said, pointing to Aqua, who shrinked into her lap. "It just so happens that I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your-"

Ari was interrupted by his head getting smashed by a pan that had flown from over the kitchen, falling onto the hardwood floor underneath with a thud.

"It's one thing to be rude to my co-workers. Now, assaulting another customer…" Pela murmured, patting a large wooden spoon on her open hand menacingly.

"Urr." Ari gulped, standing up. "Thanks for the meal, gotta go!" Ari yelled, snapping his fingers, his squad picking up the food and running outside with them, following after him.

The entire diner sat in silence for a while, when a laugh track recording went off. Pela, having nothing of that, threw another utensil blindly, smacking a recording device in the background, a fizzling sound and the laughing track shorting out being the telltale signs of destruction.

"Had just about enough of you." She muttered, walking about to the kitchen.

Zip stared in awe, then looked back at Aqua, who slowly began rising to her seat, though she constantly checked the seat to ensure it wouldn't explode or burst into flames, not willing to risk anymore surprises.

"...I-Is he gone?" Aqua stammered, looking around.

Zip nodded, giving her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Taking out her notepad quickly, she smiled patiently.

Zip gave her a quick thumbs up. "Don't worry about it, now, about your order…"

"Just a pink lemonade, please." She asked.

Zip took a quick look over her, taking in the color of Aqua's rosy tentacles. "...And here I thought you'd order the side of chips." She sped off, holding her notepad.

"Hah." Willie said, looking over the scene. "Guess things aren't so boring without those two!"

* * *

Well, I think things are going well in that world. Hey Splin, Sharq, you doing fine?

"Just peachy voice." Splin shot back sarcastically, trapped underneath a car on the beach.

"Uh, really could be better honestly." Sharq groaned, attempting to crawl out using his squid form's tentacles.

Oh, let me give you a hand with that.

The car slid away from them easily, Splin and Sharq stretching their tentacles after their freedom.

Splin dusted himself off. "Alright, now-"

A large shard of metal shot out of the black hole, wires shooting out sparks as it went, landing nearby the brothers.

"Okay! Let's get everyone out of here." Splin said, running over to Tai and Maria, Sharq following behind closely.

* * *

AN: Sorry, I'm trying to see how to go about writing the Splat X portions, but in the meantime, uh… Here's this. Sorry again, might as well call me Napstablook, not really feeling up to it right now. But uh, apologies besides, reviews once again. Thanks to Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, and Anon360 for reviewing. I believe you Dread, good work with the memes I suppose, and thank you for telling me I did good with the characters from your story. Ultrapyre, thanks, I'll continue to try and work on their interactions with the world, making sure they fit. Finally, Anon360, it's totally fine, you're probably busy. Besides, it's almost Thanksgiving, go out and have fun! Ahem, anyways… Thanks for reading once again, as always, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, time to waste all my money on the Nintendo Badge Arcade, have a good day, afternoon, or night!


	29. The Brothers and the Short Lived Reunion

**Splat X: The Bate Bros.**

 **Reunited, Even For Just A Moment**

"Tai! Maria!" Sharq shouted, stooping low enough to dodge a dislodged brick flying from a nearby building, still running throughout the evasion of hurdling debris.

"Yeah? Uh, just a second!" Tai shouted back, patting Maria on the back quickly, who at this point had gone completely silent, staring out at the sea and the black hole above. Tai dashed over to the two, skidding to a stop on the sand, kicking sand up as she went.

"You've obviously seen the sky already, so I think I speak for all of us when I say we need to get the shell out of here!" Splin told her, pointing at the city of Inkopolis, the buildings bordering the beach getting sucked into the rift ripped in the sky.

"Yeah, about that…" Tai inhaled sharply through her teeth, turning around to Maria, still gazing out sadly to sea. "I doubt she's ready to move just yet."

"Agh…" Splin sprinted over to Maria, nearly tripping again once he halted by her side, pulling on her arm desperately. "Maria, I'm sorry, but we need to leave! Maria!"

She didn't respond, only lowering her head at the sound of his voice.

"I know you must be feeling terrible right now, but if we don't evacuate the beach, we're going to… E-End up like them." Splin gulped after those last words, closing one eye and stepping back in anticipation of a fist to his face or something.

"They're not dead." Maria murmured.

"Huh?" Splin asked, breaking out of his defensive stance, stepping forward, but stepped to the side instead to avoid a collision with a shattered glass pane dragged from a store nearby.

"They're not dead." Maria repeated, droplets of tears still dripping down their face.

"...Okay." Splin said, looking at the black hole. "We still need to retreat, so I think we should-"

"I'm staying." Maria said pushing herself off the ground, standing up at the beach shore.

"...What?!" Splin asked, open mouthed.

Maria glared heroically towards the black hole, a humongous mechanical limb being tossed out of the hole itself, falling towards the beach. Maria reached at her side and unholstered her Hero Shot ink gun, tilting the gun sideways like all the action movies you ever saw, and shooting at it like the cool woman she is, blasting the limb, though only slowing it down somewhat. A swift flash appeared, cutting the limb in half, the two halves dropping into the water, only to be pulled back by the force of the vortex. The four of our heroes snapped to the right, Leonidas sheathing his sword with a grin.

"You're welcome." Leonidas replied, covering his sword completely in the sheath.

The Octoling among them grinned evilly. "I like this guy already."

Leonidas scoffed, and proceeded to continue slashing at objects flying by, while not wholly necessary, still looked cool, and that's what matters. Maria blew air out of her mouth, slightly irritably, though a hint of a smile was present on her lips.

"They're not giving up their fight, so why should we give up ours?" Maria told him cryptically, expertly shooting back pieces of shrapnel being hurled out of the vortex.

"What fight, you mean the objects that happen to be shot out towards our general location?!" Splin asked, gesturing to another large shard of metal landing on the sandy shores.

"Yes, that's right." Maria smiled at Splin, who stared wide eyed and mouth agape, obviously not convinced.

"Maria, I think you're amazing, cool, and extremely kind to us, but I really think that we should leave, like RIGHT NOW." Splin shouted at Maria, not attempting to care if he were to get beaten up for shouting.

Maria on the other hand, continued smiling, her face still slightly stained with tears, patiently inspecting Splin's, who at this point did what any logically sane person would do, and backed away, constantly keeping his eyes on the black hole to keep himself from getting skewered or sucked in.

"Sharq, help me out here!" Splin shouted desperately, only to see his brother was taking shelter behind a trash can, which was inevitably dragged off the ground towards the black hole.

Sharq shrugged, grinning sheepishly. "Sorry dude! I think her mind's set! Besides, I think she and Leo over here-"

"Leonidas, I don't know you!" Leonidas yelled, slicing through an opposing chunk of cement using his sword.

"Have got it covered!" Sharq finished with a yelp, sliding to the side as a squid to avoid another object.

Splin turned over to the Octoling, "Tai…?"

Splin noticed Tai unholstering her Octoshot, joining the two in destroying any debris that came their way.

"I dunno, this is pretty fun." Tai smirked, turning to Splin. Another mechanical limb flew out of the vortex, which Tai deflected with a blind shot, shooting behind her. "You two go find cover, we'll handle this."

"Are you serious?!" Splin nearly screamed at her, Tai chuckling at the Inkling's annoyance.

"Relax, we'll catch up with you as soon as this-" The Octoling shot at the portal in the sky to point. "Is over. It's for the best anyways, I doubt you could punch one of **those** back with your own hands."

Shaking his head, Splin reached for an ink weapon, only to realize that he hadn't brought an ink weapon or attachable ink tank at all. Taking a quick glance at Sharq, he realized that none of the two brothers had any ways to defend themselves from the constant barrage of flying, deadly objects. Weighing his options, Splin gritted his teeth, lowering his head and shaking it.

"...You've got a point. We'll retreat to the city, but please be careful, don't want you or Maria to get smashed in by an inanimate object." Splin told her, Tai grinning cheekily as she listened.

"Aw, you really care about us." Tai gushed jokingly, flittering her eyelids as if to bat her nonexistent eyelashes.

"Of course I do." Splin told her, rubbing the back of his neck.

Tai grinned, exposing her octopi teeth, repeatedly raising and lowering her eyebrow.

"You know what I mean!" Splin said in exasperation.

Tai giggled. "Just messing with you bro. Later Splin!" Tai shouted, turning back to the water, now raging with waves from the collisions of falling sky metal, spraying violet ink out of the Octoshots.

Splin rolled his eyes. "See ya. Sharq, let's go." Sharq nodded, hopping towards him, running with him towards Inkopolis.

"Hold on!" Leonidas shouted to the two, causing the two to jump slightly. "I need you to escort them out," He gestured to the three other Inklings on the beach, much more visibly calmed, though a tension remained prevalent throughout the air. "Take them to safety."

Splin and Sharq looked over to the three, Sharq waving in a friendly manner. The Marie of this universe wore her Hero Suit as always, the sea reflecting over the jacket. She sat nearby the two Inklings from early, an Inkling girl with a red bow worn behind her light pink tentacles, smiling slightly despite the situation, carefully watching over an older Inkling with yellow tentacles, knocked out on the sand, breathing quietly. Splin looked at the three, quickly noting their appearances.

"Hiya!" Sharq greeted them, the two conscious females waving back in acknowledgement.

"Oh, one more thing." Leonidas grunted, somehow setting a slashed piece of metal on fire, which just confused Splin more. "If Hanako gets hurt at all…" The metal shard inexplicably exploded to emphasize his point. "I make your life a living hell."

Language, there are children present.

Leonidas didn't hear that, practically glaring holes into the two Inkling boys. Sharq nodded, helping the two females up. The other brother looked over at the three others currently shooting and slicing back at the black hole, preventing a single piece of dangerously fast projectiles from bashing into them.

"Alright. You can count on us… Even if I don't entirely understand what's going on." Splin said, looking over to Hanako. "Uh… Hope you don't mind me asking, but come with us. Please."

Marie sniffled, rubbing her eyes, wiping away white tears from her eyes, glancing over at a puddle. She nodded, sniffling, and began walking, gesturing for Hanako to follow. She nodded, attempting to pick up and carry the older Inkling best as she could, only managing in holding him up a little. However, she stopped in the middle of carrying him, staring dumbfounded at the beach shores, everyone else following her lead. A new portal began materializing, though this one seemed harmless compared to the spinning vortex of terror just above them.

"...Sorry, not taking any chances with this one." Tai grunted, holstering her Octoshot and switching to octopus form, sliding away stealthily towards the Inkling brothers.

The Inkling brothers, being the cowards they are-

"Hey!" They shouted simultaneously.

Ran off into the shelter of a large store nearby. Tai followed, equipping her Octoshot once again in the event of a brick flying through the window. The three watched from a safe distance, taking care to stay behind counters in the store.

"Wait, Tai I don't understand, you have a gun, why couldn't you have remained out there?" Splin asked.

Tai scoffed. "Hey, someone's gotta keep you two from getting splatted."

"I can protect Splin!" Sharq complained, wrapping an arm around Splin's shoulder.

"I'm not that weak…" Splin pouted, his eyes widening in realization. "Crab, we forgot to escort the others!"

The younger brother dashed for the door, his efforts ultimately snuffed by a brotherly tackle.

"Dude, you're staying in here." Sharq told him firmly, causing Splin's struggling to cease immediately.

"Yes, because we'd rather stay in here, watch her get injured, then arrive the receiving end of HIS sword." Splin pointed out, helplessly letting his arm go slack.

Sharq let Splin up, the three now sitting in silence, all three watching out the glass pane windows of the store carefully. Watching the portal specifically, they watched a tall, slightly muscular male Inkling walk out of the portal. This particular Inkling had blue tentacles with orange stripes standing up like spikes and eyes with jade irises, giving the figure a dynamic and heroic look. He had on a black vest with golden shoulder pads, the vest open showing off its upper torso. White, baggy trousers covered his legs, a belt hanging just above it, tall black boots with red trails emanating from it.

Someone from the group on the beach gasped. "Rem?! Ix?! Is that you?!"

The figure smirked and crossed his arms, looking straight at the group of Inklings. "Yes and no."

Splin's suspended disbelief was cut, Splin standing up and walking outside completely unnoticed, Sharq and Tai following suit, though they tried to be sneakier.

"Splin! What are you doing?!" Tai hissed, Splin sighing.

"I don't even know anymore." Splin admitted, letting himself fall onto the sidewalk overlooking the beach.

As he said that, a tremor shook throughout the city. The swirling void above everyone stopped all of a sudden, other objects in the sky frozen with it, bursting soon afterwards. One of the sea lion squid person hybrids from earlier burst out of the portal, sending more debris around, causing Splin and Sharq to scatter, everyone else who relatively had any strength to shoot back a shard of metal standing still, facing the vortex. Somewhat smartly, the two ducked behind a bench, though considering their first encounter with one of those in this particular dimension, they weren't too fond of that.

"I will… Kill… All of you!" He screamed from the sky, a light flashing in his palms. Laughing maniacally, the light in his hands formed into a large ball that continually grew, until it was a large as the vortex itself, which he then unleashed as a beam of energy, firing it towards the shore.

Splin closed his eyes, and breathed out slowly, landing backwards on his back slowly. Sharq joined him, looking at the sky. Tai shrugged by the side of the sidewalk facing the beach, walking across the street, and joined them, taking her goggles and laying them by her side.

"If I knew this break would be our last, I would've brought popcorn to at least celebrate or something." Sharq said, staring up at the beam, letting his hat fall down, playing with his untied tentacles on his head.

"You and me both." Tai said, stretching her arms and yawning.

"I wouldn't count our eggs before they hatched, both of you." Splin opened one eye, and pointed at the beach. "Seems like Maria still isn't letting anything happen to us."

On the beach, the tall Inkling wearing the purposely heavy armor on his shoulders, the cyborg Inkling with one arm from the news known as Jack, and Maria, stood side by side, launching a combined beam of light towards him, the combined energy beam from the three piercing through his, hitting the "Sealing" and launching him away towards the sun. The three of them breathed sighs of relief, their postures easing up as the evildoer was blasted off into space.

* * *

Meanwhile, in space, only a few seconds before the evil Sealing was launched away.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS! REMIIIIIIIIIIX!" He yelled, closing in mere feet (a little more than mere meters) away from hitting the surface of the sun.

Ugh, stop whining.

Completely out of nowhere, a blue hovercraft flew by, a man wearing a red helmet with a visor, also garbed in a blue bodysuit with yellow gloves and yellow boots jumping out of the vehicle, somehow immune to the sun's harmful radiation and heat.

"Falcon Punch!" He shouted, his fist lighting on fire not due to the sun, but because of sheer Nintendo video game reasons, punching the Sealing, propelling him harder into the sun.

The Sealing's face before his demise shifted to anger and bewilderment. "WHAT THAT DOESN'T EVEN-" Were his last words before he crashed into the surface of the sun, an explosion from the sun firing off.

"Show me your moves!" The man said with a grin, hopping back into his hovercraft, speeding away.

That's what happens when you get involved in another story, good sir, good day.

The area of the impact on the sun didn't reply, simply burning.

* * *

Splin, Sharq, and Tai watched the event unfold with eyes wide and mouths agape, though two had their mouths agape in a smile, the other one with a stare of befuzzled respect.

"...I have to admit, that was pretty epic." Splin said.

Sharq raised his fist out towards Splin, which he gladly answered with a real bro fist. The three stood up, Tai taking her goggles and adjusting them around her neck, leaping under Sharq's hat, which Sharq took and laid on his head carefully. All three of the mortal cephalopod teenagers looked over at the beach, watching the god-like Inklings reunite. Maria had pulled in the taller Inkling with blue and orange tentacles for a hug, which, with a flash of light, had switched to two other Inklings, returning the hug. The one-armed Inkling Jack walked over steadily, and joined in the hug, the three on the beachfront hugging it out, the rest watching, until the hug broke, Maria smiling warmly at Rem, Ix, and Jack. The Marie from this current dimension smiled, tears of joy blinking out of her eyes, while Hanako watched over the yellow tentacled Inkling, who was coming to, eyes opening. After a brief questioning that our three heroes couldn't hear, Hanako and the older Inkling embraced each other, a bit of light shimmering off the older one.

Splin smiled. "Wow. Huh, I guess everything worked out in th-th-th-the e-e-e-end. Huh?!"

Splin looked down at his arms. They appeared normal for a second, until suddenly his arms began twitching violently, staying in place, but continually flashing bright colors and shifting areas multiple times.

"Oh n-n-n-no!" Splin said, repeating consonants as if there was a bug in his system.

Yeah, your time is almost up guys, you better get out of here soon or else this universe will go nuts again.

The three nodded, the side effects occurring on Splin quickly taking effect on them too. The three ran over to Maria, ignoring stares from the other Inklings on the beach, shaking Maria's hands and tentacles.

"Thanks f-f-f-for everything you've d-d-d-done for us Maria, goodbye!" Sharq said, rushing away.

Splin nodded, waving goodbye to her, running with Sharq. "E-E-E-Even if we haven't known you for l-l-l-long, thank you."

Tai shrugged, glitching back and forth. "I-I-I-I'm not g-g-great with formalities, but what they said works fine. Goodbye Maria!"

The three of them ran towards the city, Maria smiling warmly and waving goodbye to them. She looked over to her family, blinking out tears from her eyes.

"Maria, what's wrong?" Jack asked, looking at Maria, taken aback by light green particles coming off her.

Maria looked up with a river of tears coming from her eyes. "...Goodbye, everyone."

* * *

Splin, Sharq and Tai were beginning to glitch out more, warping back and forth with particles colored like them following. The three, after a hasty couple of seconds of running, reached the plaza, a portal in the center already established, Tele-Cube floating over it, beeping red violently. They all leaped for the portal, Tele-Cube following after them as all of them went through, the portal vanishing, a blink of cyan light closing it, sending the three back to their own dimension.

* * *

"Aah!" Splin yelped, tossing his bed sheets off of him violently, sweating and gasping for breath. Looking around, he could see that he was at home, safely sitting in his bed. Still panting, pushed off all the covers of his bed, hopping off.

A chime from behind him got his attention, Splin turning back to his bed, noticing a dull red light glowing from underneath his pillow. Picking up the pillow, he tossed it aside, and picked up Tele-Cube lying on his mattress, a battery with a percentage with a small "5" in the middle, a tiny portion of the battery filled with a red liquid. Splin pat the Tele-Cube reassuringly, at least as reassuring as you can be to an animate-inanimate object. He walked over to the counter, where Salty the snail was watching carefully, setting the Tele-Cube by Salty, who hopped over, nuzzling the cube as if to hug it. The cube's charging percentage went up a notch. Splin looked around him, Sharq sleeping with his cap and Splin's headphones on the dresser by his bed, and Tai snoring on her junk pile of comforters she referred to as a bed, both sleeping peacefully.

Splin grinned evilly, slowly sneaking over to the alarm clock sitting on the dresser, and lightly pressed the top of it.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

"YAAAAHHH!" Sharq screamed, rolling off his bed in surprise. Tai shook erratically, throwing a pillow at the alarm clock, which Splin safely dodged, holding the alarm clock had in his hands. The two of them woke up completely, standing up and staring at Splin angrily.

"What's wrong, is something bothering you?" Splin asked innocently, though his teeth exposing smile contrasted drastically with his sarcastic innocence.

"I will splat you!" Sharq and Tai shouted, launching themselves at Splin, who despite being tackled by two angry aquatic animal teenagers, was laughing nearly uncontrollably, tears of triumph coming out of his eyes.

"At last, I have my revenge!" Splin said triumphantly while laughing, wiping away tears, Sharq and Tai crushing him playfully, all of them laughing, which spontaneously caused everyone else in the room to join in, Ann-Gel opening her eyes and snickering, Salty's shell shaking in good humor, Tele-Cube providing more studio recorded laughter, even the alarm clock beeping wildly as if to laugh.

However, the laughter was cut short by the sound of sobbing. Splin, Sharq, and Tai froze at the noise, listening intently. The sound of sobs appeared to be coming from the roof, everyone directing their attention towards the ceiling. Splin lightly pushed the other two off of him, and made his way towards the stairs, concern present on his face. Opening the trapdoor slowly, he looked around. It was nighttime in Inkopolis. The Squid Beakon was toast, charred and smoking, but what caught Splin's attention most was an adult female Inkling, sitting on the roof opposite to the beacon, crying. Splin walked over to her, sat down besides her, in silence for a while. Her sobs lowered to sniffles, desperately trying to keep tears from flowing out of her eyes.

"Hey." Splin said softly.

Maria turned to Splin a sad smile and tears still streaming down her face.

"...I'm sorry that you couldn't stay." Splin said.

Maria's smile grew a little, and she smothered Splin with a hug, Splin not protesting in the slightest, patting Maria on the back.

"We're doing feel good hugs?! No fair!" Sharq joined in, hugging both of them. "Comforting's my thing!"

Maria smile grew more.

"Ah, screw it." Tai sneaked into the middle as an octopus, joining in as well.

Maria's smile and tears were at the largest they've been in a while. The four remained like that for a long time, five whole minutes, when they slowly broke the hug.

"I can buy us food." Splin offered, Maria standing up slowly, sniffling.

"...I'd like that. Thank you." Maria said.

"Halibut, here we come!" Sharq shouted.

The four entered the house, closing the trapdoor behind them.

* * *

 **-Credits I Guess, It's That Kind of Moment-**

 **Cast**

 **Splin Bate: Bate Brother B**

 **Sharq Bate: Bate Brother A**

 **Tai Inaba: Octoling Who Actually Did Stuff**

 **Maria Altezio: Squid Mom**

 **Rem Altezio: Firey Fighter**

 **Ix Altezio: Shadow Brawler**

 **Leonidas… Altezio, Pretty Sure Treble Doesn't Have The Last Name To Succeed Rem's: Swordsman From A Doomed Future Who's Not Lucina**

 **Jack Altezio: Cyborg Squid Dad**

 **Ty Colorian: Passed Out Beacon**

 **Hanako Colorian: Pink Bow**

 **Marie… Of the Splat X Universe…?: Caring Girlfriend**

 **Danja: Guy Who Got Punched In The Face**

 **Captain Falcon: "HYES."**

 **Producers… I Think**

 **Dread Angel: Splat X Author**

 **Tehreign: Of Ink and Science Author, I mean his characters were prominent in the other story so technically he deserves a mention.**

 **ThePizzaLovingTurtle: I wrote the words you're reading right now, yaaay.**

 **Those Who Reviewed During The Last Chapter**

 **Ultrapyre: Thanks, uh, I usually just draw my own pictures or set stuff up in video games so I can take screenshots so as not to really harm any rules, try that, but that's just my advice, dunno if it'll work.**

 **OctoInkling75: Thank you for the kind words and letting me use Aqua again!**

 **Hoopa679: Thanks, Ari kinda had it coming, and it's a good thing I saved that laugh track!**

 **Honorable Mentions**

 **Nintendo: They made the game this was based on, so thanks Nintendo!**

 **The Entire Shared Universe Group: Thanks guys, without your support (and permission) this chapter and the last ones wouldn't have been possible, well, probably, but copyright would get involved and that's a nasty business, thanks!**

 **The Fandom: Without you guys helping me out, this chapter may not have existed, thank you for reading!**

Thanks for playing- I mean reading!

* * *

Author's Goat:

Uh, you're still here?

Well, as long as you're here, I wanna say that this chapter arc is over, not the story.

…I don't even know why I'm writing the credits specifically for this chapter. Didn't even break thirty chapters yet.

...Oh well. Hey, you, since you're still here, do yourself and I a favor.

Go and have some fun, play Splatoon maybe, I'll wait.

Yep. ...Well, go on now!

...Oh right. Ahem, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, go out and have fun, later!


	30. The Brothers Try To House Hunt

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **House Hunters**

"Is she okay?" Splin asked Sharq, standing on the roof of their house, looking over the beacon.

Sharq walked over to the trapdoor, opened it, and peeked inside. Maria laid on her mattress, lying sideways, facing the television, which was turned off. Her bed was stained with tears, light green damp spots from tears practically drenching the sheets. Sharq took his head out from the trapdoor, frowning open mouthed, his teeth clenched. Turning to Splin, he inhaled sharply, shaking his head no.

Splin frowned on one side of his mouth, peering over at the beacon, which was still busted from the previous teleportation. "I still feel bad we couldn't get her back to her rightful dimension. She's been like that for a while now…"

"Mmm." Sharq hummed in agreement.

"Also, this sounds kinda harsh, but I think that we might need to find Maria a new home." Splin added.

"Wait, what?!" Sharq asked. "Dude, she's the best, she stared down Leo..."

"Leonidas!" He shouted from across dimensions somehow.

"...completely carried us in that challenge, and… She feels like a real mom!" Sharq said, his eyes sparkling bright.

Splin smiled, his eyes lighting up. "Sounds like you've really warmed up to her."

"She's the bomb!" Sharq exclaimed, raising his fists to the sky.

"She must feel all burned out, then, she must miss her kids terribly." Splin commented, looking down at the floor. "...Sharq, you're good at cheering people up, right?"

"Cheering you up, sure." Sharq said, patting him on the back. "Not too great with moms! Hey, you did help Aqua and Maria out before, how about-"

"Eh…" Splin rubbed the back of his neck. "Pretty sure I was lucky the last couple times, heat of the moment and what not… Besides, I think the problem isn't that she's lonely, per se."

Sharq lowered his top eyelids, furrowing his brow. "Then what is her problem?"

Splin turned to Sharq, leaning on the railing of the roof. "You're the one who's at least supposed to be nice, right?"

Sharq snorted, a large open mouthed grin on his face, his eyes closed, rubbing the back of his neck as he did so. "S-Sorry! Heh, I just meant uh… Well, just that, to be honest."

"We need to work on your wording, that's for sure." Splin said, pushing his headphones down on his head. "The thing is, Maria's been sulking in the house for a while now, after what happened back there. We need to get her out of the house, make her happy again, you know?"

Sharq huffed irritably. "Yeah sure, when Maria's feeling too cooped up now you want to go out and do fun stuff."

Splin sighed. "Sharq, don't argue with me now, Maria's clearly not getting better quickly. It falls to us to make us feel better. I figure if we get her into a new apartment or something, she'll have more of an opportunity to meet new people, try new things, you know. She can visit us at any time, too, if we find one that's close enough."

"But we hardly have any cash left, how are we gonna pay for apartments?" Sharq questioned.

"Turf War grinding." Splin told him.

Sharq groaned, looking up to the sky. "I still don't get it! Practically any Inkling who can hold a Splattershot can get into those Turf Wars and earn money for free. Don't get me wrong, it's fun and awesome and all-"

"Since when were you the brother who complained about logic?" Splin smirked, looking over at Sharq.

Sharq rose his hands to the air, hands clenched in fists, his eyes closed and eyebrows lowered in irritation. "That doesn't matter, let's help Maria!"

Splin smiled. "Now you know how I feel. Come on, let's go downstairs."

Sharq nodded, and the two of them dashed over to the trapdoor, jumping down through the flat door, landing harshly down at the bottom of the steps.

"Okay, it probably wasn't a good idea to do that…" Sharq groaned, rubbing his back.

Picking themselves up, they stood up and walked over to Maria, the television crackling quietly. Stopping by her cushioned mattress, they ducked down as squids, sliding over to her. Splin sighed, preparing himself for what once again could potentially backfire painfully. He looked over to the dresser, Ann-Gel standing on her pedestal silently nearby, Ann-Gel tilting her head towards Maria as to tell Splin he needs to cheer her up, Splin acknowledging her with a nod.

"...Hi." Splin waved using his right tentacle, Maria waving back, still facing away from them. Splin frowned, a mouthless frown in his squid form at least, reaching to comfort her carefully, but was stopped by Maria taking and squeezing his tentacle, pushing it away slightly.

Maria sighed. "I'm sorry guys, I just think I need to lie down for a while now."

"Maria, you've been lying down there for about a day now-" Maria tightened her grip on Splin's tentacle, hurting him slightly. Splin stifled a yelp, clenching his beak... teeth together. "I really think you need to get out of the house- AH!" Maria was practically squeezing Splin to death right now through his tentacle, Splin switching to humanoid form in an attempt to remove his hand, his eyes shut in pain, still gritting his teeth. "So, we thi-!" Splin didn't even finish his sentence this time, Maria nearly crushing Splin's hand. "S-Sharq, help!"

Sharq hopped over, reaching his tentacles into Maria's grip as to pry Splin's tentacles out, only to have his tentacles get crushed as well.

"Gah!"

"Sharq, why aren't you fighting back?!" Splin asked, struggling against Maria's death grip.

"That's because Maria was a stranger at the time! Now that we know her as a mother with practically god powers AND god kids… Oof! Would YOU want to mess with her?!" Sharq explained, struggling just as hard, switching to a humanoid.

Maria sat like that for a while, the brothers giving up soon after once they realized she wasn't releasing them anytime soon. Eventually, Maria's grip faltered, and she released the two, letting them fall on the floor, sighing deeply, tear stains dampening her Sailor Stripe Tee.

"..."

"Maria… Sorry, but I can't just let you stay like this. Look, I know what's it's like to lose family, trust me, Sharq and I have dealt with it before. You can stay at our house moping all day, or we can attempt to make you feel better. Even if we do make fools out of ourselves, hey, at least we tried, right?" Splin explained, hoisting her up somewhat. She yielded, allowing herself to be helped up.

"Splin, I feel like you should be the one who comforts people now, bro." Sharq smirked.

"What can I say? I've learned from the best." Splin grinned, reaching and rubbing Sharq's head, Sharq smiling. Splin cleared his throat, going back to Maria. "So… Maria…"

"...I'll make you a deal, Splin, Sharq." Maria said, wiping her face. "If you can find me a good home-"

"And meet nice new people!" Sharq exclaimed.

Splin turned his head to Sharq slowly, a classic look of disbelief on his face.

"What?" Sharq asked defensively.

Splin blinked, the look of disbelief switching to something more serious. "Sharq, she had to leave her husband and children behind in an alternate dimension possibly forever, literally just yesterday. Do you really think she's-"

"...I'm dead there." Maria said simply, shocking the two brothers. "I can remember a little more now… Damn you Octron. I... I don't think I can return to my rightful universe anymore... Um, anyways, straight to the point." Maria took a deep breath, "I'll make you a deal. If you can find a nice place to live… With nice people, of course…"

Sharq grinned at Splin, only eliciting a glare.

"I'll stop being such a sad old lady. However…" Maria leaned in closely, smiling. "If you can't find me a nice place to live, I'll stay here, and sulk however I want to, when I want to. Deal?"

Sharq tapped Splin using the back of his hand. "Bro, brother huddle."

The two switched into squid form, crawling behind the kitchen counter past a still dormant Salty and Tele-Cube on top, stopping once they were out of sight, facing each other.

"I dunno man. I really like Maria, but I doubt we'll be able to find a good place for her to live. Plus, I don't know, how are we gonna house and feed an Inkling woman much older than us-" Sharq started, but was cut off.

"Hey, she isn't old Sharq, she's actually pretty young looking." Splin said, freezing up afterwards after analyzing what he had just said.

Quiet giggling could be heard from the other side of the counter.

"Why thank you, Splin." Maria cooed.

"Uh…"

"I dunno bro, you gotta work on your flirting technique." Sharq grinned, earning him a light slug on the arm.

"Yes, besides, you could do with a much prettier and younger lady than me." Maria winked knowingly, Splin's face practically glowing red. "Hmm… Tai seems like a nice girl…"

* * *

Somewhere below Inkopolis in the Octarian base, a certain reckless Octoling laughed her butt off, confusing other personnel.

* * *

"Alright! It's a deal, l-let's just go outside, shall we? I agree to your terms, Maria." Splin asked.

"Sure, Mr. Flirt." The two other Inklings chuckled, much to Splin's discontent.

Splin ignored the jabs aimed at him, his face reverting to his tannish pigment rather than a cherry. He shook it off, walking over to his house doors and rushing outside, the two other Inklings following behind him. Once on the soft green terra outside, he switched to a squid, and Super Jumped away. Sharq and Maria blinked, watching him hurdle towards Inkopolis in the sky.

"Your brother seems to have forgotten us." Maria put acutely.

"Don't worry about it, he's just a little flustered." Sharq smiled. He switched to squid form, aiming at Inkopolis. "Oh! Wait a second, you can't Super Jump long distances, can you?"

Maria sighed, shaking her head. "No… I'm actually surprised you two can do that. Everyone else I've seen and remembered usually only makes it halfway."

"To be fair, most of the time Splin and I do that, we crash into something." Sharq told her. "It's pretty quick though!"

As if to prove his statement, Splin was seen shooting through the sky back towards the two, landing directly in front of them on the grass, barely cushioning his fall, though he managed to shake it off quickly.

"I can see even the Squid Beakon's Super Jump abilities have been snuffed." He groaned, switching back to humanoid form, dusting himself off. "Sorry about leaving you two behind, just PLEASE never do that again."

"Just teasing you~." Maria smiled, tapping Splin on the nose, causing him to recoil and turn away, his face slowly turning red again. "After all, even Tai's a little old for you."

"I swear, if I didn't know better, I'd say Tai herself put you up to this!" Splin sighed, getting more laughter out of the two. "I don't even think we need to bother with the house thing anymore, both of you seem content with messing with me!"

Maria stopped laughing, though an amused smile remained on her face. "Hee… I'm sorry Splin, heh. But a deal's a deal, I like your idea of going out to somewhere new."

"Okay… Well uh, let's go then." Splin switched to a squid.

"Maria can't Super Jump that far, remember?" Sharq said.

"...Hmm. Hey Maria, how far do you think you can Super Jump?" Splin asked.

Maria put on finger on her lips, her eyes looking up in thought. "About halfway."

"Great!" Splin said. "If that's the case, then as soon as you make it halfway, you can just Super Jump again at that point, propelling yourself far enough to reach the Inkopolis Plaza!"

"Sounds like a plan." Maria nodded.

"Alright let's-"

"Wait!" Sharq said, running back inside the house, where sounds of rummaging was heard soon after. Sharq ran back out, the classic Krak-On Roller with an odometer attached on his back, Splin's N-ZAP '85 in his hands, both with ink tanks dangling behind them.

Splin raised an eyebrow. "Ink weapons? Why?"

"I'm not making the same mistake twice!" Sharq told him, already strapping Splin's ink tank to his brother, giving him the N-ZAP. The ink tank seemed to vanish completely, leaving Splin with just the N-ZAP.

Splin sighed. "I'll never understand why they do that outside of Turf Wars. Sharq, we don't even need the ink tanks, we can just fire using some of our own ink."

"Not taking any chances, bro!" Sharq said, strapping himself in. "Maria, how about you? You need a weapon?"

Maria looked down at the palm of her hands, glimpses of energy flashing out of her hands. She turned back, shaking her head.

"No thank you." She said, clenching her fists.

"Oh, right."

The three, now completely prepared, all switched to squids, aiming away from the house towards the city. They jumped away, grass whisking from the sudden movement, the three falling towards Inkopolis. Maria dropped from the sky exceptionally quickly, her light green squid form landing safely besides a road leading to Inkopolis, immediately jumping back into the sky towards Inkopolis afterwards.

* * *

As always, Splin and Sharq's imprecise aim managed to land them in Inkopolis Plaza, though they hit the side of the Booyah Base, faceplanting against the glass window of Shrimp Kicks, sliding down slowly. The proprietor of Shrimp Kicks, Crusty Sean, a large Japanese tiger prawn with a purple cap and several pairs of shoes on the multiple legs he had, noticed the two, and ran outside with his new Purple Seahorses, (buy it today) and pried the two off the window using his claws.

"Thanks Crusty." Sharq mumbled, face down on the ground.

"Don't worry about it, squiddo, though you might wanna look before you leap next time!" Crusty Sean waved, going back into his store.

The two brothers stood up dizzily in humanoid form, shaking their heads to relieve some of the unsteadiness. Sharq pushed down his cap, Splin taking his headphones and wrapping them around his neck for the time being.

"Hey, where's Maria?" Sharq asked, looking around the plaza.

Maria landed in the middle of the plaza, shifting from squid form to humanoid as soon as she reached the ground, standing relatively undamaged and confident.

"There you go." Splin said, the two walking over to her.

"So, where do we get started?" Maria asked.

Splin smirked. "Well, I happen to know a few places…"

* * *

"Flounder Heights!" Splin announced, gesturing to a large apartment complex.

The trio of Inklings stood on top of a large building, one of many in fact, overlooking the popular Turf War spot Flounder Heights. A variety of tall buildings crowded the area, several doors and windows making up multiple apartment rooms, jellyfish and Inklings walking about. Some grass and trees sprouted out from the bottom, other than that the entire floor was comprised of roofs.

"This place is very eloquent, lots of rich and famous Inklings live here." Splin explained. "I think even the Squid Sisters might live here."

"'Rich and famous?' Splin, you realize we're not exactly the wealthiest Inklings in the world, right?" Maria asked.

"I'm aware…" Splin sighed, patting one of his pants pockets. "Though, I'm sure with enough playing in Turf Wars, we'd earn enough. The rent here could be lenient."

All of a sudden, a whistle sounded off, Inklings and jellyfish who heard it darted inside apartments and lobbies.

"Um, what does that mean?" Maria asked.

"Hmm…" Splin murmured, looking around.

Ahem.

"Oh yeah!" Sharq piped up. "I remember, today's when this place is used as a Turf War location!"

"Ah, forgot about that." Splin said, his eyes lighting up. "Shoot."

Soon after he said that, the three were nearly gunned down by squids, mistaking them for a threat.

"Go go go!" Splin shouted, dodging blobs of ink shot their way, the three jumping off of the rooftops. "...I really should've thought more about our escape methoooods!"

* * *

The three walked along the streets of Inkopolis, Maria wiping opposing ink off of them from the turf battlers. Splin sighed, looking around, when he spotted a familiar face ahead.

"Get down!" Splin shouted, ducking behind a mailbox, sticking to the side in squid form.

"Why?" The other two asked.

Splin peeked out from behind the mailbox, noticing a sulking Ari walking by, hands in his jacket. His squad of females were nowhere to be seen, Ari looking bored out of his mind as he trudged by.

"Ari's coming by, and I'm REALLY not in the mood for a ch- SHARQ!" Splin watched his brother go to greet Ari, running as well to keep him from speaking to him.

"Hey Ari!" Sharq shouted, Splin cringing as he shouted.

Ari stopped ahead on the sidewalk, looking over in their direction, tilting his Jungle Hat as if to nod. "Aha! So that's where you have been hiding! Well rivals, prepare for a chall-"

"Do you know any good places to live?" Sharq asked.

"Uh, what?" Ari asked in turn.

"Good places to live. We're trying to find a house for Maria here." Sharq pointed at Maria, who waved.

Ari stood silently, dumbfounded. He groaned, looking away at the ground, pointing in an opposite direction. "Try the Humboldt District."

"Err… You don't look too cheery today, Ari. Something happen?" Splin asked.

Ari scoffed. "Humph." The orange Inkling walked away, still sulking.

"Never seen him down before. Oh well, suppose the Humboldt District is our next stop."

The three walked across the street, walking through a small neighborhood with clean houses.

"This neighborhood seems nice." Maria admitted, inspecting all of the houses.

"Hey girl." An adult male Inkling greeted Maria, sitting outside on his porch.

"Oh no." Splin and Sharq instinctively took cover behind a lamppost.

Yeah that's gonna shelter you fine.

"Excuse me?" Maria turned to the adult Inkling.

The male Inkling she was rudely greeted by grinned, his eyes staring at places on Maria people who don't want to be punched shouldn't stare at.

"I was just looking at you, and I thought, 'Dang, there goes a woman with one shell of a…' well, how 'bout you come here and let me show you what I mean."

I've already got the coffin ready.

Maria smiled, nodding up at the sky. "Actually, how about you come here, I got something I wanna show you…"

The Inkling's eyes shot open, grinning like this would be the best day of his life.

"Splin, would you mind handing me your N-ZAP?" Maria whispered politely, discreetly reaching behind her back. Splin didn't argue, handing her his gun. "Pucker up."

The male Inkling did so. Instead of Maria's lips, he was met with an N-ZAP weapon pointed at his head. Maria held down the trigger, a large burst of ink knocking him out cold, while somehow blasting him back into his house, breaking the door down.

"Thank you Splin." Maria smiled, her eyes closed satisfied, giving the N-ZAP '85 a pat before handing it back to Splin. "I'm sorry, but I don't think this neighborhood is my cup of tea.

"...Right, well, m-moving on." Splin said, keeping himself from breaking into a sprint. _"I'm just glad that never happened to me!"_

"How do you do stuff like that?!" Sharq asked, awe gleaming in his eyes.

Maria smiled. "Training, I suppose."

* * *

"How about this place? Seems cozy." Sharq suggested.

"Mmm." Maria hummed.

The three stood in front of a beachfront home, almost entirely comprised of wood, similar to Splin and Sharq's home exterior.

"Well-"

The house crumbled into a pile of splinters and logs before anyone could do anything. How cheap.

"Oh."

* * *

"This town looks rather nice." Sharq said.

The three stood underneath the shadow of a large clock tower, standing in a plaza of sorts, empty wooden shop stalls built in the plaza. Hmm, maybe Splatoon took more creative liberties than I thought.

"Except for the moon, that thing looks creepy." Sharq said, looking up.

A large, gray moon with several craters stared down at them. Literally staring down, yellow eyes with green irises glaring at the earth, as if it wanted to crash into it and murder everyone in three days. ...Oh wait.

Maria exhaled nervously. "I uh… Moving on?"

* * *

"This place doesn't seem TOO bad." Sharq smiled, staring off into space blankly.

The three stood in an alleyway, surrounded by a bunch of young Inklings wearing biker gear, all of them looking rather angry.

"Sharq, this isn't even a house!" Splin yelled.

"You made the wrong decision the second you decided to step onto our turf!" One of the Inklings spat, but was promptly punched by Maria, sending the other bikers back due to fear.

Splin and Sharq stared at her, Maria sweating nervously.

"Sorry! Another instinct."

Splin and Sharq got their weapons ready, shooting and flinging ink at the angry bikers as Maria used hand to hand combat skills to dispatch any that got too close, retreating all the while.

* * *

At this point, an exhausted Splin, dead tired, flopped onto the ground, panting. From the entire process, Splin had multiple scratches from the rather painful encounter with bikers. Sharq stooped down by Splin with just as many scratches, Maria sitting by with hardly a scratch to be seen.

"I give up Sharq. I don't even know why I suggested it in the first place, Inkopolis is the hardest place to find housing!" Splin groaned. "Why did I even make a deal like that, it doesn't even make sense!"

"Splin, calm down man. Hey, what you did today, even if it was pretty much pointless, it was pretty fun. Trying to find Maria a home? Nice thinking." Sharq tried to reassure him.

"No, we have no idea how we'd even pay for her home!" Splin argued.

"I mean, yeah, we failed at finding her a new home. Look on the bright side though, Maria seems happy."

Splin looked up. Maria was smiling brightly, her tentacles swaying gently with a breeze. She looked at the sky, humming to herself, tiny sparks of energy firing off her hands.

"Yeah… I suppose." Splin stood up, walking over to Maria. "Alright Maria, I give up, sorry I couldn't find you a new home. Feel free to sulk at our house for a while..."

"Actually," Maria started. "I have one more spot in mind. Follow me."

Maria turned into a light green squid, and Super Jumped away. The two brothers, shrugging in confusion, followed her lead, jumping in her direction. When they landed besides her, she Super Jumped again. The two brothers followed her once more. The three continually jumped from place to place in Inkopolis, until Maria aimed differently, jumping away from Inkopolis, Splin and Sharq following.

* * *

The three landed by Splin and Sharq's house on the roof, luckily not damaging the fragile roof any further. Splin and Sharq were nearly out of breath, Maria breathing in and out slowly compared to their panting.

"...A-Alright Maria, we'll relax here, then we'll find the place you were talking about. Whoo…" Splin laid on the roof unmoving for a while, his squid tentacles sprawled out tiredly on the roof.

"This is it." Maria told them.

"Huh?" Splin and Sharq turned to Maria.

"I mean, if you don't mind." Maria said.

"Well…" Splin looked around. "...A deal's a deal, right?"

"Thank you." Maria smiled, opening the trapdoor leading downstairs, walking inside the house, turning on the television, where a broadcast of a performance was starting.

"Well, for the first time EVER! I present to you, Rem and Ix!"

More tears dropped from Maria's eyes. Sounds of two tired Inkling brothers falling on the floor could be heard upstairs afterwards.

* * *

Author's Thanks: Okay, now there are thirty chapters! Yay, I guess. It's a little late, but I gotta say, Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Speaking of thanks, time to respond to reviews! Thanks Dread Angel for reviewing! Glad to hear you enjoyed my take on the "aftermath" of Splat X Dread. Thanks for reading everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, if I don't answer back soon, assume I've been crushed by an angry crowd trying to find stuff on Black Friday. Stay safe!


	31. The Brothers and the Sea of Snails

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Super Sea Surplus**

Splin, Sharq, and Maria were lying about, enjoying their down time at the Bate Brother household. Maria went on watching the television screen, watching alternate dimensions of the Inkling world, looking over her children, reacting as if she were there herself, smiling when things for the heroes of that universe went right, frowning when her husband nearly skewered an Inkling man by accident by unsheathing his sword imprecisely.

Splin and Sharq on the other hand were relaxing in their beds, Sharq holding up the premium Splatendo 3DS handheld console up at the ceiling, looking up at the double screens from the comfort of his bed. Splin tapped away on his laptop's keyboard, seemingly intrigued with whatever was displayed on the device. Both retained their ink tanks and weapons, weapons lying on their bed pillows, the both seemingly too absorbed in their digital devices to detach their ink tanks.

"Interesting… Says here that our ancestors from eons ago never swam in ink." Splin enthused aloud, eyes scanning the text. "Apparently, we used to swim in water!"

"Whoa, really?" Sharq asked, though his eyes were still focused on the game he was playing.

Splin nodded towards his brother. "Yeah. That just brings up the question, how did we go from creatures capable of hydrodynamic propulsion and survival to Inklings who can't even place their hand in unfiltered water before it begins deteriorating?"

"I dunno, ask some nerdy guys in a library or something." Sharq told him, still staring up at his video game.

Splin sighed. "Uh huh, I guess I'll do that." The headphone donning brother shut down his laptop, taking the top screen and folding it down, sliding the closed portable computer under his bed.

Maria, now fully engrossed in the adventures onscreen, leaned closer to the screen of the television, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.

The television screen fizzled, switching to a newscast, a sentient male bass in a clean suit sitting behind a desk. "We interrupt this program to bring you a news flash!"

"Rrgh!"

Maria threw a pillow just over the television in frustration. The two brothers noticed the change in broadcasts, Sharq closing his 3DS and stowing it away under his bed just like his brother's laptop, and walked over to Maria's makeshift bed, sitting down next to her mattress.

"We regret to inform the public that the Inkopolis Plaza has been temporarily shut down for maintenance, details about the repairs go as follows, ahem…" The newscaster onscreen reached under his desk, pulling out a short stack of papers, clearing his throat, reading aloud. "'Sea Snails.'"

Everyone watching in the room became entirely silent, watching with blank faces. Even the newscaster looked confused, squinting his eyes as if to make sure he hadn't misread. He put the stack of papers to the side, revealing that the other sheets underneath the first one was completely blank, only the words "Sea," and "Snails" on the sheet on top.

"...Seriously? That's it?" The newscaster said with a disbelieving fish face, the program shutting off.

"...Sea snails." Splin reiterated. "I knew it was a slow news day, but this takes the cake."

Sharq managed an honest snort at Splin's pun.

"Uh… Anyone else wanna check out the sea snails…?" Splin asked.

Sharq raised his hand slowly, everyone/thing in the room remaining indifferent. Maria shook her head politely, reaching for the remote. Ann-Gel blinked. The alarm clock's numbers switched to, "SNOOZE", and the Tele-Cube's colors faded. One last creature was excited compared to the rest, Salty shaking in its shell happily.

"Salty and I are ready to go!" Sharq exclaimed proudly, picking up the shaking crustacean, displaying him just as proudly.

"Alright, then we're off. See you everyone!" Splin waved, dashing out the doors of the house, Sharq toting Salty, following closely behind.

"Goodbye!" Maria called out, going back to watching the television.

Splin and Sharq switched to squids as they left the house, landing on the ground as their squishy cephalopod counterparts. Sharq clasped Salty between his tentacles tightly. The both of them flattened themselves, bouncing back up into the sky, falling from the clouds towards Inkopolis, Salty precariously held between Sharq's tentacles.

* * *

Upon breaching the clouds above Inkopolis, the two blinked as to clear out the ozone in their eyes. They were greeted with a flood of Super Sea Snails crowding the plaza.

"HUH?!"

"WHOA!"

The two crashed into the pile of shells, sea snails that felt the impact were sent bouncing off one another.

Every inch of ground in or surrounding Inkopolis Plaza was covered in sea snails, the level of snail almost completely covering the Booyah Base, frightened shopkeepers in their stores backing away from the glass in fear that the snails might break through. The pathway serving as the second floor had multiple Inklings taking shelter on top, even the Squid Sisters themselves sitting by, eyes wide from shock of all the snails.

"Eep!" Callie squeaked, slapping away a snail, who didn't seem to mind, the shell blocking the attack.

"T-This is awful, how are we going to get inside the studio? How are others going to play in Turf Wars?!" Marie asked aloud.

"...The slow news days here are weird." Splin mumbled, climbing out of the mass of sea snails, having switched to humanoid form.

Sharq climbed up, Salty luckily still clenched between his tentacles, now changed to hands. "Dang! How are we going to clean this up?!"

Splin turned to Sharq. "Maybe call an actual clean-up crew meant for these types of problems, I dunno?!"

"Psst! Oy, you two."

The two Inkling brothers snapped their heads in the direction of a certain street urchin. Spkye remained in his alleyway, or at least above the snail infested alleyway, somehow remaining still on his carpet, tapping his finger on top of a sea snail. The two brothers shifted through the expanse of snail, eventually making it over to Spyke.

Spyke reached into the sea of snails, picking one up and lying it by his carpet, patting it. "You've seen the infestation, 'aven't you?"

Splin and Sharq looked down at their feet, completely submerged in snails. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we have."

Spyke nodded. "These things, tasty as they are-"

"Tasty?" Splin questioned, eyebrow raised.

Spyke blinked. "...are ruining my business, no client of mine wants to take a swim through hard shells to meet with me."

"Wouldn't this be good for you?" Sharq asked. "You get all the free snails you could ever want!"

Spyke sighed, closing his eyes, petting the snails. "And sort through all the garbage ones? Don't know if you understand, mate, but you see, only the quality snails are ripe for the pickin'. Splatfest prizes are some of the best, I can't go about eating- Taking garbage snails, you see what I'm saying?"

Though they were slightly bewildered, the brothers nodded anyways.

Spyke grinned. "Great, so you're with me when I say, we need to clean out the garbage, then?"

"Why can't we wait patiently for the proper authorities?" Splin asked, pushing a snail to the side.

Spyke sat completely silent for a moment, quickly bursting into laughter for a minute.

"No." Spyke stopped laughing. "Feds and agents are bloody useless in this situation, can't do anything but beat up octopi."

"Wait, you know about the Octarians?" Splin asked, tilting his head.

Spyke sighed. "Sitting nearby the two-way entrance to Octo Valley gives you a pretty good idea, mate."

"Right, sorry."

"Anyways, the plan I have in mind is this:" Spyke muttered, reaching into the snails, digging through the layers, until he came out with what appeared to be a Slosher.

The Slosher in question was white and more industrialized compared to the Slosher buckets, and the tub of the bucket were filled with holes and what appeared to be a small fan built into the bottom.

"Whoa, isn't that the new Sloshing Machine weapon that comes out later?" Splin asked, inspecting the machine.

"Aye. Though, I've modified it a little for problems like this…" Spyke told them, aiming the Sloshing Machine. "Might wanna step aside, love."

The two Inklings ducked behind Spyke. With a flick of a switch, Spyke activated the machine, aiming it towards the ground, or the Super Sea Snails on the ground to be precise. The Sloshing Machine whirred, the tub inside spinning rapidly, when a stream of suction spun out of the machine, picking up a few snails, depositing them on his carpet.

"Cool!" Sharq said, reaching for the machine.

Spyke smirked. "The problem is, it has no storage area. All I can do is suck the snails up, and let them sit there," Spyke pointed to his carpet, which the snails rolled off of. "And try to keep 'em from leaving. Not very efficient. That's where you two come in."

"Hmm…" Splin reached at his back, feeling the familiar girth of an ink tank on his shoulders. "Ah! We forgot to unhook the ink tanks when we were home."

Splin reached at his shoulders, taking invisible straps off, popping the ink tank back into the visible existence of the outside, non-Turf War world. Taking off the ink tank, he unscrewed the top, and tilted the tank over, spilling the ink onto a bunch of sea snails, who still didn't mind. He walked over to the sea urchin, giving him the empty ink tank. Spyke grinned, picking up a screwdriver on his carpet, and went to work on the Sloshing Machine, screwing in the ink tank to the back.

"Oh, I get it! We're going to capture all the snails, right?" Sharq asked.

Splin grinned. "Precisely Sharq, gotta catch 'em all."

The two of them looked over at Spyke, who had finished tinkering with the Sloshing Machine. He tossed the weapon to Splin, who caught it easily.

"Waiting on you two. Cheers." Spyke waved them off.

Splin and Sharq smiled, trudging through the sea of snails once more, out into the middle of the plaza. Once there, Splin flicked the switch Spyke had flipped, a gust of wind once again suctioning in snails.

" _Wait, how will the snails fit in one ink tank?"_ Splin wondered.

A bunch of snails sucked up into the machine seemingly shrunk to accommodate for the small room the ink tank had.

" _Convenient."_ Splin thought.

The two, holding on to the machine, pivoted slowly, making sure to capture as many snails as possible. Eventually, the levels of snail were decreased, the amount of snails being a few strewn about in the plaza. Splin wiped his forehead clean of sweat, looking back at his now full ink tank, snails crowded in the tank. Sharq

"Alright, well, that's about as much as we can do." Splin said.

A cheering crowd rushed down the second floor of the base, seemingly towards the brothers. Sharq was prepared for the two being commended for their actions…

But was crestfallen once the crowd rushed past them, and over them.

"Ow." They managed to say, squished into the floor.

"Nice work guys!" Callie beamed, walking down from the second floor to their studio.

"Thanks again!" Marie added, following her cousin.

"That wasn't what I had expected…" Sharq murmured disappointed, picking himself up.

Splin sighed. "At least we cleaned the plaza of most of the Super Sea Snails."

Spyke, his carpet now situated back comfortably on the flat ground, snuck over to the two, screwdriver in hand, quickly dismantling the ink tank from the machine, leaving the two with an ink tank full of snails, walking off with the Sloshing Machine.

"Good work, you two. Thanks to you, I can finally go back to working. Here's a little something for your troubles." Spyke said, dropping a small burlap sack by their feet, walking away to his carpet in the alleyway.

Both of the brothers stared at the sack, unsure if they really wanted to open it. Regardless, Sharq untied it carefully, making sure it wasn't the head of a dead Inkling police agent, eyes sparkling in wonder at uncovering their prize.

A batch of gear abilities were in the sack, icons ranging from ink tanks to silent squids nearly making the sack burst at the seams.

"Dude!" Sharq said, looking down at the sack. "We're practically set with perks for life!"

Splin smiled, happy that their luck was changing on the bright side for a change, when a horrid realization came to him.

"Sharq, where's Salty?!" Splin asked panicked.

The two turned to the ink tank full of sea snails, the snails' tiny eyes blinking back at them.

"Aw, it's gonna take hours for us to search through that looking for Salty!" Sharq groaned.

A rustling noise behind them attracted the brothers attention, where Salty was sitting there quietly, shaking in its shell.

"Salty!" Sharq exclaimed, hugging the snail.

"Huh." Splin smiled. "Everything went much better than expected. Well, that settles that. Although, the question is;" Splin turned back to the ink tank full of Super Sea Snails. "What are we going to do with all these snails?"

Sharq and Salty looked up at the sky, deep in thought. "Well…"

* * *

At the Octarian Base, DJ Octavio was overseeing a group of Octoling scientists busily constructing something in a hangar bay, a large machine of sorts covered by a white sheet, Octolings in white lab coats and glasses rushing from station to station, all looking rather flustered. The hangar was large, a large kettle opening to match sat directly above them, glimpses of sunlight shining through. The DJ, as always, sat in his large turntable robot, sitting patiently by.

An Octotrooper slid up to DJ Octavio on a hovercraft. "Sir! Development on the defense mechanism has halted, our development team lacks the materials required to build the exoskeleton!"

DJ Octavio rubbed his slimy head, shifting his samurai headgear slightly. "What materials would we need to get this… 'thing' an exoskeleton, then?"

"Well, we'd need anything hard enough to provide as a good support. Anything at all works, the metal required for serving as the main armor is fine, what we need is something sturdy enough to provide as a second wall…"

"Hey Tai, do you know anyone who needs sea snails?" Sharq asked, Splin following behind with the ink tank of sea snails in his hands.

The development team of Octolings froze, staring at the Inklings. All of them took out Octoshots and aimed them at the two, who backed up in fear of being shot. DJ Octavio raised a tentacle peacefully, the Octolings reluctantly laying their weapons down.

"Hold your fire! These slimy hipsters are allies." Octavio grunted, the Octolings nodding in response, going back to their work. DJ Octavio turned to the Inkling brothers. "What have you come here for, Inklings? T-41 is off on a scouting mission right now."

"Actually, we just need someone to take all of these snails off our hands- Gah!" Splin slipped over oil spilled on the floor, taking care to shield the ink tank with his own body. "Agh…"

DJ Octavio picked the Inkling up with the robot's large hand, and picked up the ink tank with his other, eyeing it closely, the snails inside sitting inside, hardly moving except for the occasional shake.

"...Why would you give us this?" Octavio asked, clearly interested in the snail shells.

"Uh, sorry! Didn't mean to offend you, we're just looking for anyone willing-"

"This is perfect!" DJ Octavio laughed heartily. "Thanks again, Inkling allies! We have the materials we need! Play the mixtapes, we've got it down!"

The Octolings cheered, much to the confusion of Splin and Sharq. DJ Octavio unscrewed the cap of the ink tank very carefully, hardly making a dent almost miraculously considering the strength of the robot, and began to spill the snails onto the floor.

"NO WAIT-"

It was too late, as the sea snails began crowding the floor, spilling across the place. This only seemed to excite the octopi more, which in turn confused the brothers more.

"...Pardon me for asking," Splin asked, adjusting his headphones uncomfortably, DJ Octavio setting him down on the floor, now covered with snails. "But why are you so excited about sea snails?"

The cheering settled down slightly, Octavio's eyes darting to the hidden machine then back to Splin, Splin following his eye movements.

"...Secret project we're working on. Thanks again Inklings!" DJ Octavio told them hastily, picking the two up and sending them up through a kettle. "Phew, that was a close one." DJ Octavio wiped a bead of sweat away using his robot hands.

An Octoling adjusted her glasses, looking over at their leader. "Octavio, why'd you send them away? If they're our allies-"

"We can't let anyone else know about this defense mechanism, S-4FFR-1. Inklings might get the wrong idea, then what? We can't risk a second Great Turf War, but we also can't risk a chance of an Inkling invasion."

DJ Octavio stared at the machine hidden underneath the tarp, sighing.

" _Let's hope that this, 'Project SK' doesn't go wrong."_ Octavio thought.

"Yo Octavio! We got the materials you wanted so much." Tai's voice called. "Took us a couple hours, and I had to go through a LOT of trouble stealing this from an Inkling agent."

Octavio stared over at the place Tai's voice came from, then down at the snails, breathing in sharply.

" _...I'll also hope Tai doesn't kill anyone when I tell her."_ Octavio thought, floating away, not at all happy for what was about to come.

* * *

AN: Two chapters posted in the timespan of two days, what is this, a schedule?! No, just me being weird. Uh… Sorry, don't have much to say here, let's talk reviews!

Thanks Ultrapyre and Dread Angel for reviewing! Yeah Ultrapyre, I suppose she's a mainstay now, though I might hang onto your idea for the powers in Splat X not exactly going as planned, *hint hint*. Dread Angel, thanks for the JonTron, funny, when you sent that, I was listening to a JonTron song just then, nice work with coincidentally reviewing what was on my mind! Anyways, thanks you guys for reviewing again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, I'm hyped for Xenoblade Chronicles X, see you next time!


	32. The Brothers and the X-Splatters

**Splat X: The Bate Bros.**

" **What year is this?"**

"Hyah!" Tai cried out, leaping into the air.

Her eyes were trained on a slow moving target, hardly noticing the Octoling at all. Tai raised an Octobrush, a large flat paintbrush with a thick lavender paint decorating the tips, flying off the brush dangerously.

" _I got you now you son of a squitch."_ Tai thought to herself, bringing down the brush onto the target.

The target was somehow slashed completely in half by the paintbrush, ink dripping off the now bisected, unaware target, revealed to be a cardboard cutout of an Inkling, the poor inanimate object dropping to the floor below, purple spreading across a stainless steel floor.

Tai groaned, gripping her head, nearly tearing off her Octoling goggles. "Ugghhhhhh… This isn't challenging at all! All of the targets just walk around like idiots, just waiting to be splatted!"

"Isn't that how Inklings normally act, weaklings that just stand around lazily?" A nearby Chi asked, twiddling her small Octoling tentacles. "I mean, that's like...the point, right?:

"NO!" Tai cried out, tossing the Octobrush to the side, surprising her fellow Octoling. "At least Inklings can dodge and shoot back, this just takes all the fun out of it! Hmph!" Tai pouted, walking away from the target range.

The two Octolings sat in a battle simulation room, gray surrounding the large room, targets of all shapes and sizes strewn about, with chairs at the back as well as a large open door leading outside to the rest of the base. Octolings, Octotroopers, even Octostrikers, large octopi sitting in U.F.O.s, were practicing their aim on targets of Inkling agents, most of the targets' faces drawn inaccurately, as if to portray the Inklings as evil creatures, their fangs overemphasized. Blots of ink shattered the wood, splintering the wooden squid kids.

"Feh." Tai sat down next to Chi, slouching back in her chair.

Suddenly, a tall figure entered the room. The figure stared over at the targets, clearly interested. She wore a cloak that covered the entirety of their face, shrouding their identity. However, one thing was certain, he or she was towering over the Octolings, standing high and menacingly.

Tai raised an eyebrow. "Ah, interested in some target practice, newbie? Good luck"

The figure said nothing, but nodded. They went over to a counter, picking up a standard Octoshot gun, walked over to a shooting range, pushing others out of the way, much to their displeasure. The figure pointed the Octoshot at the targets, pulling down on the trigger, blasting the targets with ease, knocking over several wooden Inklings, surprising the Octarians.

Tai was clearly impressed, the girl walking up to the taller figure, hand on her hip. "Nice shooting. Hey." Tai poked the figure on her leg. "Talking to you, sunshine. What's your name?"

The figure turned back to Tai, glaring down at her. A pair of hands poked out of their sleeve, the hands reaching for their hood, pulling it off. The hood revealed an Octoling of sorts, but she looked considerably different compared to the others. While she retained most of the features of an Octoling, her tentacles on the front of her head were longer, similar to that of an Inkling. The Octarians gasped in surprise, unsure of how to treat this person. The woman cleared her throat.

"My name's Tek." She muttered.

* * *

Inkopolis city was bright and bustling as ever, sea creatures of all sorts busily heading to and fro. Among them was the two brothers, Splin and Sharq, accompanied by Maria. The three walked along a sidewalk, cars in extensive lines slowly cruising by as they went.

"Nice day for a walk, am I right guys?" Sharq asked the two, walking along happily.

"Yes." Maria said calmly, humming quietly to herself.

"Yeah, but Sharq, why'd you want to bring Salty with us again?" Splin asked, walking besides him.

"I wanted to take him for a walk!" Sharq exclaimed, looking back at his faithful snail companion. "I even got him a leash for this occasion!"

Salty's shell scraped on the ground as he was dragged along throughout Inkopolis. Sparks flew as the snail "followed" the three, though Salty didn't seem to mind as always, though the loud scraping sound it made attracted weird looks from passing Inklings.

"Huh." Splin mumbled, looking around at the city. "Weird, people are rather calm considering that Super Sea Snail crisis that just happened."

"Maybe they just don't mind the extra snails." Sharq remarked, looking back at Salty.

"I dunno, the crowd standing at the top of the second floor begged to differ." Splin remarked, looking away.

Unbeknownst to the three, a shady figure was staring at the three from the shadows of a nearby building. His eyes darted from side to side, hungrily eyeing the sea snail Sharq was dragging along. He quickly left the shadows of the building, making a mad dash for the sea snail.

"I'm just surprised we cleaned the snails up that easily!" Sharq smiled. "Who'd have guessed Spyke had a- Whoa!"

Sharq spun around rapidly for a moment, dizzily falling onto the sidewalk.

"Sharq! You okay?" Splin asked, picking up his brother, Maria snapping her head to the two in worry.

"Yeah… Just a little-" Sharq paused, eyes wide, looking down at the leash he used to "walk" Salty, the line leading to an empty lasso on the ground. "Where's Salty?!"

"Your snail is mine!" A purple tentacled Inkling shouted maniacally, running away with Salty in between his arm, through an alleyway.

The three sat, bewildered at the events, until they all snapped out of it, shaking their heads.

"How rude!" Maria shouted, dashing after him.

"H-Hey! Give us back Salty!" Sharq shouted as well, following Maria and the perpetrator.

Splin sighed, and turned to the screen- Nowhere in particular. "This is gonna be a long day, I can tell, isn't it voice?'

Eh, don't sweat it Splin. Follow that snail-napper!

Splin nodded, and dashed to the right, through the alleyway the others took. Once in the alleyway, he noticed the purple tentacled Inkling being chased by Maria and Sharq through multiple other alleys, seemingly not going anywhere, running in circles. Splin rolled his eyes, switching to a squid, and Super Jumped upwards, into the sky. There, he swerved to the right as best as he could, falling and landing onto a large building, switching back to a humanoid form as he hit the roof. On top of the building, he had a great view of the chase, the purple tentacled Inkling constantly switching from alley to alley. Splin stared over at Maria, waving to get her attention. She didn't notice, still chasing after the crook.

Splin sighed again, examining the paths the crook took. To Splin, it appeared that the criminal was running in a pattern, only going through alleys opposite to Sharq and Maria at the time. Quickly noting the patterns, Splin ran back on the building, mentally and physically braced himself for what he was about to do, and ran back towards the edge of the building, tossing himself off the edge of the apartment building, quickly descending. Just as planned, the purple tentacled Inkling dashed just underneath Splin, whom he landed on harshly, gripping onto the Inkling's shoulders. The Inkling yelped, attempting to shake Splin off.

"What's your deal, man!" Splin groaned, still latching on the man.

"I need this snail!" The man growled, taking Splin and tossing him through a window, shattering the glass, though Splin luckily managed to remain unscathed.

Splin groaned, picking himself up, when he noticed that he had landed in a room with a large pile of Super Sea Snails, the snails shaking in terror. Splin stood straight, confused, until an unforgiving hand pulled him from the house, back into the alley, slamming him into a building parallel to the one he had just pulled him outside of. Splin cried out, falling roughly on the floor. The purple tentacled Inkling was holding him by his shirt collar, glaring at him angrily.

"You… You just had to go and steal ALL of the Super Sea Snails, didn't you?! You thought that you were going to get away with it, huh?!" The Inkling spat, Salty in his right arm trembling.

Splin blinked, coughing out a bit of blood. "W-What are you even talking about?!"

The purple tentacled Inkling burst into insane laughter. "Ha! Don't play dumb, you were there, weren't you? In the plaza, taking all of the snails for yourself, WEREN'T YOU?!"

Splin raised his hands defensively. "Whoa whoa! I thought they were overcrowding the plaza, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to steal anything from you! ...Hold on, what would you require all those snails for?"

"Well…" The purple Inkling grinned evilly, raising his fist. "You should've thought about that before you-"

His semi-menacing speech was cut off by a speeding fist rocketing into his face. Maria stood, breathing heavily, Sharq picking up Salty and stowing it away under his hat, Salty shivering rapidly. Maria stooped down, and hugged Splin, who was gasping for breath both from the surprise, and from the bear hug Maria was giving him.

"Are you alright, Splin?!" Maria asked, nearly crushing him with her grip.

"Ouch! Y-Yes, I'm fine…" Splin said, desperately trying to take in air.

Maria sighed in relief, dropping Splin by the wall. Sharq dropped by close to him, checking to see if his brother was okay. The purple Inkling wasn't finished, the Inkling grabbing a discarded piece of sharp glass, not caring that the edges dug into his hand a bit. Maria stood up, hatred bursting from her eyes. She pushed in front of her, energy sparking from her hands…

Then fizzled out completely.

"E-Eh?!" Maria gasped, backing up, shielding the two brothers as best as she could. She scowled at the man. "Back off!"

The Inkling man growled. "You saw what they did! That's MY Sea Snail!" He shouted, raising his fist, Maria keeping a straight face, though small beads of sweat dripped down her neck.

"Salty is ours, for crying out loud!" Splin shouted, the purple tentacled Inkling glaring at him, raising the shard of glass above his head furiously. He was about to plunge the makeshift knife into the trio, when a tapping on his shoulder got his attention. "Muh?"

The purple Inkling turned around, brandishing his shard of glass, only to get completely knocked out by a fist, flying out of the alley, landing out on the sidewalk dazed. "Oough…"

The trio watched in a mixture of surprise and relief, turning to the person who had completely knocked out the man. They noticed someone, his fist shaking in fury at the man he had just completely taken care of. The man wore a very dark blue jacket with a hood, red, distinguished shirts worn underneath, the jacket flowing somewhat like a cape in a nonexistent wind. They also wore brown gauntlets on their arms and brown boots on their feet, though slight stains of violet from the knocked out offender remained on the male's fist.

Maria, though she still took a defensive stance as to protect the two brothers, eased up a little, lowering her hands. "Wh-Who are you?" She asked meekly.

The man removed his hood, revealing a blue tentacled, pale Inkling male, smiling in spite of what just went down. "Betcha didn't expect to see me again, huh?"

Maria gasped, her eyes growing wide. "I-Ix? I-I-Is it really you?"

The savior Inkling smirked. "How many other Ixs are there?" He asked, before he was nearly crushed by Maria's hug, sounds of bones(?) cracking under her grip.

Maria burst into tears, the light green droplets pouring down her face. "My precious baby! I missed you so much!"

Ix grinned awkwardly, "Yeah, I missed you too." He said, slightly embarrassed.

Maria looked up at Ix suddenly. "Is your sister here?"

A figure, wearing clothing nearly identical to Ix, though one of her arms covered by a gauntlet looked… Odd. She stepped out of the shadow of a nearby building, dropping her hood. An orange tentacled Inkling female was revealed, smiling.

"Right here." She declared, Maria swiftly including her into the hug. "Heh… yeah, I missed ya."

Splin and Sharq blinked, rubbing their eyes, blinking in disbelief. Finally, Splin crossed his arms, eyeing the two make sure he wasn't suffering from some sort of dimensional side effect, like the one he'll experience in the chapter after this arc.

Luckily for me, Splin ignored the slip of the tongue, watching the two carefully. "Uh… Are these your kids?"

Finally releasing the poor protagonists of the Splat X universe from her unyielding grip, Maria turned back to the brothers. "Heh, yeah. Rem, Ix, these are Splin and Sharq. Splin and Sharq, these are Rem and Ix."

The four turned to each other, blinking once more.

"Hey." Ix greeted them with a quick nod, placing his hands in his pants pockets.

Sharq simply stared back. "...Hey."

Rem blinked, clearing her throat, looking over the two with a newfound curiosity. "So… you adopt these two?"

Maria laughed heartily. "No, I think it's more like they adopted me."

Splin, being the paranoid, always questioning squid as always, mouthed, _"How is that even possible?"_

"Hang on." Sharq said, inspecting the two closely, tilting his head. Rather closely, staring wide eyed just for the sake of it. "How did you even get to this universe? From the looks of it, you don't have a Tele-Cube of any kind."

"Ah." Rem held out her hand. "That'll be because of-" She held her hand out a little longer, nothing at all floating into her hands. "The… Tele...Orb… Ix, where did it go?"

Ix looked around for a moment, shrugging cluelessly.

Rem rolled her eyes. "Great. Guess that's the third thing we need to look for…"

The three family members of the Altezio family continued speaking to each other, the brothers, standing by, huddling by the wall.

"Hey, uh, Splin, this is kinda weird. I'm glad that Maria's reunited with her family again, but I have a bad feeling about this…" Sharq admitted quietly, looking over at the three.

"I suppose… Although, I'm sure nothing terrible will happen, after all, those three," Splin gestured to the three, tears dripping down Maria's face, "They're pretty powerful Inklings, and the three of them together? They're practically unstoppable!"

Sharq bit his lip carefully. "Yeah, that's true… Okay, so uh… What now?"

"Hmm…" Splin murmured to himself, then bounced up in fright. "Wait, what happened to the purple tentacled guy?!"

The two turned to the street, prepared to dodge any attempts at attacks, freezing once they noticed a familiar street urchin struggling to carry the offender away.

Spyke froze as well, almost dropping the insane squid, but smiled ominously, putting one bony finger up to his mouth, silencing the two. He stalked away, dragging the Inkling on the ground as he went, the Inkling muttering unconsciously, rambling on about snails and Spyke.

The two brothers took a step back just to be safe, where they bumped into the Altezio family, staring down at them.

"Alright, Splin, Sharq, Mum says you might know a girl who can help us with this-" Rem took out a photo from a small folder, revealing a photo of some sort of Octoling.

Splin squinted his eyes, analyzing the photo. The Octoling in question had two large suckers on their tentacles in the front, longer than most Octolings.

Splin closed his eyes, breathing out, thinking. "...Okay. I just have to ask," Splin opened his eyes, staring straight at the two. "...You two wouldn't be opposed to sliding down a sewage pipe, would you?"

* * *

The five Inklings entered the Inkopolis Plaza, Rem and Ix attracting quite a bit of attention from those in the plaza, males inexplicably attracted to the female sibling, the same with females interested in the male, whispering and giggling surrounding the group.

"Huh, your plaza looks pretty nice." Rem whistled, looking around.

"Uh, thanks!" Sharq said, looking up to her.

"Well well well!" An egotistical Inkling shouted.

Splin, Sharq, and Maria instinctively froze, looking over to where the voice came from. As always, Ari showed up at a really bad moment, posing dramatically with his squad of females behind him. Rem and Ix simply stood there, confused at the orange tentacled Inkling's appearance and his squad of ever pretty females.

"Rivals of mine!" Ari called out, Splin and Sharq sighing, opting for a simple wave.

"Hi Ari." Sharq greeted, grinning like a loon.

"I have yet another challenge for you-" Ari stopped midway, his eyes landing on Rem. "HOLY SQUIT. He-hey, baby, could I see that rack?" Ari leaned over to his squad of females who stood in shock, whispering, "You see, if I'm more direct with the females, I think I have a better chance. I think it'll work." The females nodded reassuringly with somewhat disturbed glances, Ari giving them a glad thumbs up, turning back to the group. "So, how about-"

Rem was about send Ari to the fire realm with a single punch, stopping suddenly when Splin and Sharq quickly stood in between them, luckily protecting Ari from any bodily harm.

Splin turned to Ari with a pleading look. "Please, leave before anything awful happens to you."

Ari's head moved back a little, nodding solemnly. He made a rapid pushing motion towards his females, who nodded, all of them picking him up, parading him swiftly out of the plaza. Rem huffed, stuffing her hands in her pockets angrily.

"T-That was Ari." Splin introduced the fleeting squid.

"Rude little…" Rem growled.

"Anyways, moving on," Sharq suggested. "That over there is the entrance to Octo Valley! Normally, I'm pretty sure that the Octarians would try and splat all of you, but since you're with us, we can get you in there without too much of a problem!"

Ix raised an eyebrow at the Inkling brother. "Really? What's the story behind you guys and the Octarians?"

"We kept them from dying!" Sharq exclaimed.

The three other Inklings blinked.

"...Nice." Rem and Ix stated.

"So…" Sharq kicked open the manhole leading to Octo Valley. "Here we are! Just jump in, and we'll slide off to Octo Valley!"

"Great, let's go then!" Ix said, leaping through the manhole, Sharq following suit.

Before jumping in, Splin looked over to Maria. "Are you coming with us?"

Maria shook her head. "No, I think I'll stay above ground for a while. Stay safe!"

Splin nodded, leaping through the manhole. Rem, before leaving through the manhole, gave her mother a quick hug, before diving into the manhole, Maria sitting by the manhole, waving farewell.

* * *

The three male Inklings flew out from the manhole, Ix landing perfectly on his feet, Splin and Sharq not so much, hitting the dirt face first, though they recovered quickly. Cap'n was snoring silently on his couch, though none of them really noticed.

Ix looked around, scratching his head. "Hey, where's Rem?"

"Guys?" Rem's voice echoed from the manhole. "I'm… Kinda stuck."

Ix sighed, gesturing to the brothers that he might need a second. He leaped back into the manhole, sounds of rustling coming from the pipe, the two of them popping back out soon after, dusting themselves off.

"What happened?" Sharq asked, tilting his head curiously.

The two of them looked at each other, then back to the two brothers. "How old are you?"

"Fifteen, my brother's fourteen, why?" Sharq asked innocently, Splin standing by just confused.

"...Just a tight fit." Rem muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing, let's just keep going." Rem told the two, walking away, Ix following closely behind.

Splin and Sharq stared at each other with confused stares, shrugging it off, running ahead to rejoin the other two. They walked through fields of Octarian kettles covered in squid stickers, eventually reaching the hidden kettle leading to the Octarian HQ. There, an Octoling guard was stationed, looking around carefully, until she spotted the Inklings. She hesitated, before realizing that the brothers were among them, calming down significantly.

"You two are back again, huh?" She muttered, staring at the two, who nodded in confirmation. "Tai, right? I'll get her for ya." She held up a primitive radio device to her face, clearing her throat. "Splin and Sharq are here, they want to see Tai." She holstered the radio device in her belt, standing by.

"What's the extra security for?" Sharq asked.

"Sharq!" Splin sighed.

The Octoling looked away slightly, breathing out somewhat. "Um, sorry, top secret business. You understand."

Splin and Sharq nodded, waiting patiently. After a while, the kettle doors opened, Tai herself leaping out, landing in front of the brothers.

"Hey you two! What's up?" Tai asked, adjusting her goggles around her neck, greeting the brothers.

"Heh, well, Maria's actual children have shown up and… they need some help." Splin told her, sneaking a glance to the other Inklings, who were huddled up, hidden under the shade of a decayed building, their hoods lowered.

Tai's eyes sparkled in delight. "Wh-What!? They're REALLY here!? Oh my Cod! I really wanted to meet them! Are they, like, right here?"

"Yeah." Splin smiled, quickly and discreetly catching a folder Ix tossed to him from the shadows. "They say they're looking for some Inklings with modified DNA called Tenta and Tek." Splin reached into the folder, taking out a picture of the augmented Octolings, showing it to Tai, who quickly analyzed the photo.

"Funny you should ask…" Tai whispered, standing up straight. "I know where one of them usually is."

"Where?" Rem asked, exiting the shadows, startling Tai somewhat, who jumped back, in a slight battle pose. "Calm down, I'm not here to fight." Rem took off her hood, revealing herself to Tai. "So where is she?"

Tai stared at Rem in surprise, "You're certainly…" Then stared more intensely at Rem's unmentionables. "...big." She admitted, eyebrow raising somewhat, impressed.

Rem sighed, as if she had been told that before, "I get that a lot. But where do they usually hang out? This is really urgent."

Tai nodded, scratching the back of her head. "Right, follow me, but I recommend you keep your hood up. Just to be safe." She turned back to the kettle, the doors beginning to open. Rem and Ix pulled their hoods back over their heads, Splin and Sharq following Tai closely, the entire group entering the kettle.

* * *

They entered the kettle, slowly walking through the halls of the Octarian HQ. The Octarian forces walking along the halls stared at the team oddly, but for the most part ignored them, going off the prepare or lounge, hardly a protest to the team to be heard. After a while, they reached a large room, hidden away from the public eye, much more private than the base itself, if possible. Opening the door swiftly, Tai led the two powerful Inklings inside, the room nearly pitch black, multiple pillars rising out of a bottomless pit.

"She doesn't like too many visitors at once." Tai explained. "Splin, Sharq, come with me."

"Uh, good luck you two!" Sharq exclaimed, waving goodbye as they left the two in the room, the door slamming shut as they left.

Tai led Splin and Sharq down the hall, then halted, turning her head back and forth, until she burst into an uncharacteristic fangirl squeal.

"eeEEEEeeeeEEE~!" She smiled, hopping with energy. "So cool!"

Splin was taken aback by Tai's sudden shift in personality, though Sharq was cheering Tai on. Tai realized her folly, coughing quickly, a slight blush on her face.

"Never speak of that to anyone." She aptly put, turning around, walking off through the hallway, Splin and Sharq following behind.

The three original members of the Bate Bros. crew arrived at the Rec Room, Octolings and Octotroopers alike sitting quietly on the the chairs, having drinks of different descriptions. Shockwhisk, cheery as always, danced around in his kennel, generating lots of electricity for the HQ.

Splin, Sharq, and Tai sat down by a small round table, Tai propping her boots on the table as always.

"This is really strange… Why would two select people be so important that they'd need to traverse dimensions to look for them?" Splin wondered aloud, resting his head on his hand, elbow on the table.

"Beats me!" Sharq shrugged. "But they must mean a lot to them, somehow!"

Tai nodded. "Yeah… I feel like it's classified information. After all, whenever someone like them gets involved, you know ship's going to go down."

Splin closed his eyes in thought. "Yeah… Sharq, you know that odd feeling you had earlier?"

Sharq nodded. "The bad one?"

"I don't know why, but something tells me…" Splin opened his eyes, staring straight at his brother. "That we might need to keep an eye out for any trouble."

* * *

AN: Yep, it's another Splat X arc. It's a little soon, I know, but hey, beats sitting around… Not… working on the story I guess. ...Huh. Thanks to Dread Angel for writing the good dialogue, couldn't do it without your help! That's all I have to say for now really, after the Splat X arc, be prepared for a Squidsmas Holiday chapter, maybe something more! Thanks for reading the story guys, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you guys next time!


	33. The Brothers and the Exo-Skell-eton

**Splat X: The Bate Bros.**

" **Your world is normal, right?"**

"Hmm." Tai mumbled, looking around, her goggles swiveling around her neck somewhat.

"What's up?" Sharq asked, looking around as well.

Salty nearly fell out of his hat, his shell keeping himself anchored to the inside of Sharq's cap, Sharq quickly pushing him back inside, patting his cap safely, a reassured shiver coming from the snail.

"Oh, just thought of something." Tai smirked, quickly checking the perimeter, then turned back to the two brothers, still smirking. "Wanna see something top secret we've been working on?"

"Whoa! Really?!" Sharq asked, his eyes sparkling.

Splin stood up from his chair, the chair spinning a bit as he stood up. "You mean the Super Sea Snails? I dunno… Octavio didn't really want us to know anything about it…"

Tai grinned, standing up, wrapping an arm around Splin's shoulder. "Don't worry about it, I'll just show you the project real quick, then we'll leave, nothing to it."

Splin crossed his arms doubtfully, glancing at his brother. "...Sharq, what do you think?"

Sharq was already halfway across the room, about to turn a corner, looking back at his brother with a smile. "I think we should follow Tai!"

Splin turned to where Tai was once standing, all but a trail of dust remaining. Splin sighed, and dashed out of the Rec Room, hoping to catch up with the two.

* * *

"You got this, right?" DJ Octavio asked a handful of Octotroopers, standing by the doors leading in and out of the hangar housing the "Project SK" the Octarians were working on.

The hangar was mostly empty, though a few Octoling scientists roamed about, speaking to fellow workers, most with folders filled to the brim with papers, all of them heading for the exit nonchalantly, tired yawns following them.

The Octotroopers Octavio spoke to nodded rapidly.

"You sure? 'Cause I'm putting a lot of faith into you two. Don't let anyone in at all. Got it?" Octavio told the Octotroopers, who nodded again.

DJ Octavio gave them a nod of his own, hovering away in his boss robot, giving his turntables experimental rubs, melodic scratches coming through the speakers of his robot as he went. The Octotroopers gave one final salute with their tentacles, before they turned back to the door leading out of the hangar.

Tai pushed open the doors, the door frame slamming on the sides of the hangar. She walked over to the Octotroopers, who were currently absentmindedly fiddling with their weapon controls. Tai whistled quietly, pushing the Octotroopers out the doors without them noticing whatsoever, and shut the doors behind her.

"That takes care of that!" Tai said, dusting off her hands.

Splin deadpanned at the Octotroopers' lack of attention. "Here I thought Sharq was the laziest sea creature here."

"Not lazy, just zoned out." Tai explained, "They've stared at Octolings welding for a few hours now, wouldn't surprise me if none of them had welding masks on. Anyways, this is what I've wanted to show you."

Tai waltzed over to the large draped object Splin and Sharq had noticed before. She went under the drapes, her hands grasping at the sheet obscuring the object, and tugged down. The sheet went down, Splin and Sharq gasping in awe.

Standing in front of them was a large, nearly completed mech that towered over them. The mech was painted a hearty crimson, standing on two long legs of sorts, a large crest with an Octarian army emblem blazoned proudly on the mech's chest. Two artificial tentacles popped out of shoulder pads, a pack of thrusters built on the back, two flashy antennae and long black rectangles serving as where the thrusters' expended fuel would be put to use. The "head" was comprised of a mechanical octopus head of sorts, one deactivated eye poking out under a shady black helm, two strange additional red mechanical tentacles sturdily poking out.

Splin turned back to Tai, a mix between awe and slight fear on his face. "What did you need snails for again?!"

Tai sighed. "Design for the exoskeleton. I swear, it took me so freaking long to salvage that metal, and Octavio justs…"

"That's awesome!" Sharq exclaimed, pumping his fists into the air. "When are you going to use it?! I wanna see it in action!"

Tai grinned. "In due time, Sharq. This is a defense mech the guys down in the lab have been developing in case some of those Inkling agents decide to get too… Invasive. But you're welcome to watch us take it out for a test drive when we get the chance."

"Nice!" Sharq exclaimed.

"T-41!"

Tai cringed at the sound of her "official" name. "Oh no."

Inside the hangar, Aussie came in, dragging the pair of Octotroopers in with her, smoke rising from her goggles unknown if from anger or malfunctions.

"What are you doing in here? Why are our Inkling allies here? And why is the Skell not covered?!" Aussie questioned demandingly.

Tai cleared her throat, and adjusted her goggles. "One: Showing these guys the Skell. Two: Because I wanted to show these guys the Skell. And three: Because I'm showing these guys the Skell." She grinned after her explanation.

Aussie was fuming, her black and red tentacles practically threatening to strangle her. "LEAVE. NOW." She looked over at the Inkling brothers, and cleared her throat. "Please."

Tai scoffed, blowing one of her tentacles up out of her face. "You're not my mom."

Aussie chuckled ominously, cracking her knuckles. "I'd leave if I were you, Agent A, Agent B."

Splin and Sharq inhaled sharply, taking a step to leave. The Octotroopers stared at them with pleading eyes, prompting them to take the poor minions with them. They left the hangar, slowly closing the doors behind them.

Splin carefully put an ear to the door to listen, only for a Splat Bomb filled with magenta ink to lodge itself through the door, exploding immediately. "Okay! Obviously they need to sort this out themselves, so what do you say we leave them to it, huh?"

Sharq nodded nervously, waving goodbye to the Octotroopers, who sped off to notify the other Octarians of the sick fight going down in the hangar.

* * *

Splin and Sharq stopped by the room Rem and Ix had entered, panting, lying against the metal walls.

"Can I just say, that I for one am glad Tai's our friend." Splin said, sliding to the floor.

"Yeah." Sharq gasped for air, hitting the wall, sliding down next to his brother. "Whoo, I can't imagine what would've gone down if we stayed over there…"

"THE KRAKEN WILL DEVOUR YOU ALL!" A voice shouted.

Sharq nodded in agreement. "Yeah, something like that probably."

Splin blinked, sneaking over to the door leading to the room the X-Splatters currently stayed in. The door suddenly opened, causing Splin to step back, a slightly disappointed look on their faces.

Splin blinked, "Well?"

"Uh, well, she's… very different from what we expected. She said that Tenta likes to hang out somewhere near oil rigs." Rem explained, scratching the back of her head, a strange scowl growing on her face as she scratched.

"And she's not coming out, is she?"

"No. She said she had a book to finish. She probably has some other things to do, too." Rem shrugged.

"Well, you got something." Splin said, peeking at the door. He noticed an eye, almost glowing, leering at him, which was hidden with a swift slam of the door. Splin gulped, then turned to Rem, a worried expression on his face. "You okay?"

Rem grunted, her face switching to an irritable expression. "Agh, they're aching a bit…" She began giving the tentacles on her head tiny squeezes, gritting her teeth in pain. "Damnit! I forgot those ones were sensitive, too…" She stopped for a moment, looking around at the others in the room.

Ix stood by, backing up nervously, Sharq stood by blinking, tilting his head, while Splin had his teeth clenched, an eyebrow raised.

" _L-Lewd."_ Splin thought, backing up.

"Uh…" Rem looked around the area, spotting a vent above. She leapt headfirst into the vent, waggling her legs as she climbed up.

Splin and Sharq stood there silently, confusion plain on their faces. Ix blinked, then turned to the brothers, ignoring the absurdity of the situation.

"So… Is your Saltspray Rig destroyed?" Ix asked Splin, who answered only with a stare. "Long story."

Ix turned around and climbed up the vent his sister had traveled through, leaving the brothers to stand there, contemplating what had just transpired.

"Sorry about that guys," Tai said, startling the two. "Aussie gets really mad whenever we try to do anything cool with the mech."

Splin and Sharq turned around slowly, their shoes not leaving the ground. Tai stood by, with a torn undershirt, dented armor, and a pair of Octoling Goggles wrapped around her neck, the optical sensors blinking out violet lights, the goggles shooting out sparks. A few spots of ink lay on Tai's armor, as well as a light bruise on her side. Tai leaned against the wall, smiling in spite of her injuries.

"How'd the meeting with Tek go?" Tai asked, looking around.

"Sorry, Rem and Ix left before we could really ask." Sharq told her.

Tai sighed. "Aw man… Really hoped I could've gotten them to sign my goggles. Oh well, tell them I said 'Hi'!"

Splin nodded, heading for the vent, halting midway. "Wait, you're not coming?"

Tai rolled her eyes. "Of course not. I know it must be SUPER LAME without me there…"

Splin rolled his eyes in response. "Modest as always."

"But Octavio's calling us in to scavenge for more supplies for the Skell. In fact, I'm going off to Tek's room," Tai pointed at the closed door. "To see if she might wanna help. Wish me luck!"

"See ya!" Sharq waved.

Tai opened the doors, walking inside the room with the seemingly bottomless pit. Splin waved as well, jumping up to the vent. Well, tried to jump up to the vent, as Splin did not account for the fact that Rem and Ix are taller and more acrobatic than him. He attempted to jump up a couple more times, before he gave up completely, shrugging.

"...Let's just take the stairs." Splin sighed.

A rimshot went off in the background, Splin barely able to keep a straight face as a result.

* * *

The four Inklings, having finished with their escapades in the underground, rose from the manhole in Inkopolis Plaza where a patient Maria was waiting nearby.

"Ah!" Maria exclaimed, taking the manhole and putting it to the side. "Welcome back! So, have you found Tenta or Tek?"

Rem huffed, climbing out of the pipe, assisting her brother. "We found Tek, but she doesn't seem to want to leave without finishing her book. As for Tenta…"

Splin and Sharq slid out of the manhole as squids, landing by Judd's sleeping form, the cat stirring somewhat, opening an eye at the two.

"Mrow… (I told you, Mahi Mahi Resort doesn't release until later tonight.)" Judd complained, stuffing his face into his pillow.

"Hi Judd!" Sharq greeted the feline.

Judd took his head out of the pillows, staring at Sharq with intense yellow eyes, the intensity fading once he realized it was just Sharq. "Mew. (Morning Sharq.)"

"Judd, it's uh… actually five o'clock PM." Splin said, looking down at his phone's screen in his hand.

Judd rustled his pillow a bit, checking Splin's phone. He nodded, stretching his arms out, hopping off his pedestal. "Meow. (Thanks fur the time check Splin, have to get purrpared for the new map, and shoo the kids out of the pool before the ink is replaced.)"

"Bye Judd." Splin said, waving at the cat, who climbed over a barrier in the plaza, scampering off to the resort.

"Cat's not as annoying in this universe…" Rem remarked, crossing her arms.

"Huh?" Sharq questioned, turning to Rem.

"Nothing, nevermind." Rem said, looking off in an opposite direction. "Should we get started on finding Tenta?"

"Hmm…" Ix looked off into the distance, the sun beginning to fade over the hills. "Nah, it's getting too late. I say we rest before we attempt finding her."

Rem nodded. "Good idea. Splin, Sharq, hope you don't mind, but I think we'll be crashing at your place."

Splin and Sharq looked at each other, then back to the Altezios. They took a glance at the hills, spying their house, a wooden spec in the distance.

Splin shrugged, nodding his head. "Sure… But uh, you guys wouldn't happen to know how to fly, would you?"

The Altezio siblings blinked, gazing over at the hills, also spotting the house.

"Whoa! You live over there?" Ix asked, closing his eyes as to shield from the fading sunlight.

Sharq nodded, a grin on his face. "Yeah! I don't remember why it was built up there to be honest…"

Rem grinned. "Well, let's go!"

The two of them posed heroically, and jumped forward towards the hills, only making it so far, landing flat on their faces.

"Ugh… Wha…?" Rem murmured, picking herself up.

She looked down at her hands, energy sparking out uselessly. Ix appeared the same, stretching out his fingers, attempting to release any cool powers that might help here, but to no avail.

"What the heck?!" Rem shouted, repeatedly pushing out her hands, quick bursts of useless sparks firing out, though nothing else happened.

Welcome to their world, where everything is boring normal squid stuff.

"Hey!" Splin and Sharq complained in unison.

Now it was Rem and Ix's turn to be confused. Ix raised a questioning finger, which still fired out harmless sparks, Maria saving them from having to wonder about the fourth wall's leniency.

"Don't worry, they're just a little weird." Maria smiled, much to the brothers' displeasure.

"Okay… Well, how do we get over there without flying? It looks like a long trek." Rem said, looking over at the hills.

Splin rubbed the back of his head, rustling his headphones slightly. "Um… We could Super Jump."

Rem and Ix went silent, turning away looking in different directions. Maria furrowed her brow in dissatisfaction, hands by her hips.

"What's wrong with Super Jumping?" Maria asked.

Rem sighed. "Mum, we haven't changed into squids since we were kids, honestly, don't want to try it now. Look how far it is!"

Maria glared straight at Rem and Ix, a patient smile on her face. "Would you please change into a squid, for your mother?"

"Err…" Rem and Ix stared away harder.

"Please…?" Maria asked again, her eyes shifting to that of a puppy dog.

Rem and Ix glanced at Maria, and the both of them began sweating profusely, eyes wide. They quickly succumbed to their mother's pleading eyes, both giving in.

"Alright… Fine, we'll Super Jump over there." Ix sighed, changing into a blue squid.

Rem pouted, changing into an orange squid, crossing her tentacles, one of her longer tentacles appearing rigid compared to the other one. Maria smiled warmly, switching into a squid, nodding at the two brothers. Splin and Sharq nodded back, shifting to blue squids smaller compared to the others, and launched themselves up into the stratosphere, the other following with leaps of their own. Their flight didn't last long, as Rem, Ix, and Maria stopped halfway, landing in a small field. Rem and Ix looked around for the brothers, panicked that they were missing.

Maria calmed the two down with a nonchalant wave of her tentacle. "Don't worry, they're on their way to the house right now."

She pointed at the sky, where two blue squids were homing in on the wooden spec in the distance. One of the squids hit the side of the house, sliding off painfully, and another one seemed to smash through the flat roof.

"Good to see we're not completely the odd ones out." Rem remarked, Super Jumping again towards the house, her mother and brother following.

* * *

The three, after swiveling through the clouds, landed perfectly on their feet by the entrance of the house, sounds of applause greeting them from an unknown location. Ignoring the sounds, they entered the house, where Splin laid on the ground, groaning, his brother dragging him back to his bed. Upon seeing the other three, Sharq picked up his brother and tossed him on top of his bed, Splin sitting up, rubbing his head when he landed.

"Uh, welcome to our house!" Sharq said, gesturing to the entire house.

Rem and Ix looked around the small interior of the Bate Bros. household, taking in its sheer adequate appearance. And the newly made hole in the roof.

"Aw man, I just had that fixed!" Splin shouted in frustration.

"Cozy." The two other dimension siblings said, specifically staring at the broken ceiling.

"Sorry, that happens sometimes." Splin told them, looking at the ceiling.

"Maybe we should get other materials than wood." Sharq remarked, following everyone's gaze.

"Anyways, I'm just going to find a spare mattress or two for you guys, wait right here!" Splin said, leaping over the kitchen counter, hitting the floor. Sharq followed, jumping over the counters besides his brother.

The two of them began digging through the counter cabinets, only finding dust and Tai's mattress, the both of them deciding that it would be a bad idea to give them Tai's reserved bedding.

"Huh." Splin mumbled, standing up. "Sorry, we can't seem to spare any mattresses at the moment…"

"Why do you keep mattresses under your kitchen counters?" Rem asked.

Sharq grinned. "For guests of course!"

Rem blinked, quickly giving up on asking.

Splin put a hand to his chin in thought. "Hmm… Oh! Tele-Cube!"

A glowing cube hovered from out of nowhere, carefully and quietly suspending itself in the middle of the house.

Splin cleared his throat. "Er, do you mind spawning in a mattress or couch for these guys?"

Tele-Cube seemed to nod, a bright light emanating out of it, spinning around slowly.

"So this is the Tele-Cube you mentioned earlier." Ix said, inspecting the cube.

"Yep! Good old Tele-Cube!" Sharq exclaimed proudly.

The Tele-Cube paused spinning, staring directly at Sharq, an unamused face drawn on its sides.

"...Good young Tele-Cube?" Sharq said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

The faces on the cube smiled, the cube going back to rotating and glowing.

Everyone stood in silence, watching the cube work its magic. After a few minutes, it stopped glowing completely, and a couch crashed through the ceiling, carrying a mattress topped with a variety of bed sheets and pillows. The gaping hole in the ceiling revealed a sky with stars blinking into existence slowly but surely.

Splin deadpanned. "Gee, thanks cube."

The cube flashed a momentary, "You're Welcome" on its screens, before it flew away, out of sight.

Rem blinked to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. "Your cube certainly has some… Personality."

Splin and Sharq shrugged. "Yeah…"

"Welp, thanks for the couch guys!" Ix said, relaxing on top of the couch and mattress combo.

"Oh no you don't!" Rem shouted, taking the mattress out from under Ix, who landed on the couch with a soft thud. He groaned for a moment, then resumed resting.

Rem walked away, setting her mattress down, swiftly lying down, a content sigh escaping her lips.

Splin was about to say something, stopping once he noticed Sharq and Maria heading for their beds. "...Why not."

Splin stretched his arms, yawning, sliding over to his bed, under the covers, quickly drifting off to the world of dreams.

* * *

AN: Anyone else participating in the Burger vs. Pizza Splatfest tonight? Hoo doggy, this is gonna be an exciting one! Anyways, let's get straight to the point, or should I just say, reviews! Thanks to OctoInkling75, Ultrapyre, and Dread Angel for reviewing!

Yes OctoInkling75, I've already begun working on the Squidmas chapter, hopefully I can get it down in time before the 25th! Ultrapyre, I half apologize for all the female chest jokes, I assume you weren't having the _breast_ time when that was happening? Nah but seriously, I'll keep them lower. Last but certainly not least, Dread Angel, thanks! Ari's flirting skills have yet to woo a woman, but in the meantime, he can always learn from his mistakes. Anyways, thanks again guys, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to try to secure a victory for Team Pizza! See you on the battlefield!


	34. The Brothers and the Sinking Feeling

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros**

 **Sinking Feeling**

Sharq was prowling through a jungle filled with trees, occasional vines with yellow fruits hanging down, sneaking through the underbrush of grass and sticks. Sharq, instead of his Takoroka Mesh cap, had on an olive green bandanna wrapped around his forehead, wearing an Olive Drab uniform on his entire body, black boots and gloves, a radio and multiple belts strapped to him, a satchel full of ammunition at his side. In his hands, he had equipped an assault rifle of sorts, a black suppressor worn on the gun muzzle, made to silence enemies… Silently.

He looked forward, noticing a group of enemy squids, wearing balaclavas over their heads and faces, green camouflaged uniforms worn, some with extra pouches strapped to their chests, others with small radio devices of some kind worn by their arm.

Sharq smirked, carefully aiming down the sights of his rifle. He slowly pulled on the trigger, then completely slammed his finger down on it, sending a barrage of ink propelled bullets through the air, nearly invisible blue trails following behind the bullets. The sounds of projectiles whizzing by grabbed the attention of his enemies, turning around, only to face the bullets head on, getting eliminated quickly. Sharq felt pretty proud of himself for a moment, until the sound rang out.

"OH MY GOD!" Someone shrieked.

Sharq gulped, and all the enemies anywhere close to the area Sharq was arrived, blasting Sharq, filling him full of holes. Sharq clenched his abdomen, and fell on the ground, dying.

"Sharq, what's wrong, respond." A British voice came from Sharq's radio. "Sharq? Sharq? SHARQ!"

* * *

Sharq woke up with a yelp, quickly silenced by Splin clamping a hand over his mouth.

"Shh! Do you hear that?" Splin asked, looking around.

"Nph." Sharq took his brother's hand off his mouth. "You mean the scream? Yeah, I did, it alerted everyone!"

Splin stared at Sharq oddly, until a moment of clarity came to him. "...Stealth dream?"

Sharq's eyes widened somewhat. "How'd you know?"

"Must just be a coincidence." Splin told him. "Listen."

The two trained their ears on the source of the noise. They could faintly hear Maria's voice speaking.

"...at a certain age, certain varieties of Inklings undergo something called 'reaching maturity.'" Maria paused, continuing shortly. "Our family is mainly Giant Squids and Northern Shortfin Squids. Judging by your changes…"

"Whoa, wait what?" Sharq blinked rapidly, clearing his eyes. "Did I hear that right? I didn't know we changed more as we grew!"

"That's a basic process of life, Sharq." Splin told him.

The two went silent again, hearing Rem's voice. "...may want to keep your voice down."

Splin and Sharq turned to each other nervously.

"You don't think that might happen to us, do you?" Sharq asked, glancing over where the other voices came from.

Splin shrugged. "Only if the voice says so."

And I say, go to sleep, don't worry about it!

Splin and Sharq, peering up at the shattered ceiling for a last glimpse of the stars, tucked themselves under the covers of their beds, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Sharq lifted the sheets off his bed sleepily, rubbing the sand out of his eyes. He reached for the dresser, taking his Takoroka Mesh and placing it on his head, adjusting the cap. Slowly hopping out of his bed, he made his way towards the room Rem was sleeping in, passing by a snoozing Ix. He stopped suddenly, turning to his right, noticing that Rem was sitting by her sleeping mother. He swiftly flicked the lights on via lightswitch on wall, the room filling with a white light.

Rem sat on her mattress, though she looked much different from before. Instead of a few tentacles draped from her head, they appeared to have multiplied, thousands of thin, long tentacles falling from her head, reaching the floor.

Sharq was awestruck, staring at Rem with a shocked expression, blinking to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "...So that's what happened."

"You heard it, huh?" Rem said, leaning back by the mattress, making sure not to land on Maria. Sharq nodded in response. "I knew my screaming would wake you all up. Sorry about that."

"I-It's okay. Nothing major. Do you… Want anything for breakfast?" Sharq asked, keeping an eye on Rem as he went.

Rem stood up, an apparel consisting of a Zekko Hoodie, gray (grey if someone among the audience doesn't like American English) trousers, and Punk White Boots revealed clearly on her person, Rem sighing in relief for some reason. "Oh thank god they still fit. Uh, do you have any waffles?"

Sharq thought back to earlier breakfasts. "Yeah, we have waffles." He replied nonchalantly, walking over to the fridge. _"...Of course we still would."_

"I'll have some of them, please." Rem told Sharq, standing up and walking over to her brother. She stared at him silently, swiftly kicking him after a moment, yelling, "Wake up!"

Ix woke with a start, hopping off his comfortable couch slightly. "OH MY GOD SIS! The hell is wrong with you!?"

"Stop shouting!" Maria screamed, glaring with a single, unflinching eye. "I'm trying to sleep!"

Splin rustled underneath the covers of his bed, sliding out slowly and stealthily. He sneaked past the three restless squids, reverting to humanoid form next to his brother, behind the counters.

"This is a family argument?" Splin asked, tilting his head. "Nothing like in the movies, I expected more shattered objects."

"Yeah." Sharq remarked, staring at the scene.

Splin and Sharq gazed at the three older squids, snapping back into reality quickly.

"Oh right, what are you doing behind the counters?" Splin questioned.

"Rem asked if we had any waffles." Sharq told him.

"Hmm." Splin hummed, reaching for the handle on the side of the refrigerator, opening the door. He looked inside, a large bowl of batter still inside. "Jackpot."

"I'll get started on the bacon!" Sharq said.

Splin stared at Sharq with a blank, unamused face. Salty rolled from his bed, staring at Sharq with the same expression. Tele-Cube joined them, a certain sadistic smirk from a certain sunflower on its screens. The Tele-Cube's screens shifted to a more appropriate face within seconds as if to correct its mistake.

"Come on! Just once?" Sharq asked.

The three others looked at each other quickly, nodded, and gave Sharq a hopeful thumbs up. At least, Splin did, the others sort of hopped in place. Salty and Tele-Cube rested on the counter, keeping an eye on Sharq, Splin quickly moving to a waffle maker on an opposite counter. Taking the bowl full of waffle mixture, he poured a spoonful into the machine. Rem, Ix, and Maria had stopped their minor scuffle, watching the brothers cook, a light hunger on their minds. After a few minutes, the waffle maker let out a tiny chime, signifying that the waffles inside were finished. Splin opened the waffle maker, a small batch of waffles conveniently stacked inside. He placed the stack on a plate, taking some of the waffles and placing them on separate plates, leaving the plates on the other counter.

Splin turned around for a few seconds, hearing the sound of munching at a breakneck pace. He swiveled back around, noticing all that was left on Rem and Ix's plates were a handful of crumbs. Sharq turned around as well, freezing in place. The bacon he was cooking in the pan froze up as well for bad joke reasons.

"Wow, I forgot how fast you two eat." Maria commented, Splin and Sharq still staring speechless.

"Guess we better be off to Saltspray. Should be back at lunch." Rem put, she and Ix running out of the door.

The younger brothers stared at the doors they left through, turning to Maria for a possible explanation.

Maria just smiled. "They train a lot, I guess." She went back to eating her waffles.

"...Hey Sharq, your bacon." Splin pointed behind Sharq, where a bit of smoke was rising from the pan.

"...oh. Oh!" Sharq lifted the pan up, grabbed a plate, and emptied the bacon onto the plate, the strips of meat looking a little charred.

"What are you two planning on doing today?" Maria asked.

"...I dunno, I'm actually at a loss for once." Splin said, staring blankly.

"For once?" Sharq asked sarcastically, Splin lightly pushing him playfully in return.

"Wait, I forgot, the new Burgers vs. Pizza Splatfest is on!" Splin said. "They have the new Museum d'Alfonsino in the rotation I've always wanted to visit!"

"Museum?" Maria questioned.

"Museum d'Alfonsino is an art museum, some of the greatest works of art in Inkopolis and beyond are there. It's a great opportunity…"

"To practice on the new map!" Sharq added. "It was just released as part of the rotation!"

"Strange that they would risk paint being thrown on the artworks if you ask me." Splin said.

"It's not permanent! Come on Splin, if we get down there quickly enough, we can probably still make it to the other new map, something, something, resort…?"

"Mahi Mahi." Splin corrected.

"There it is! Wanna come Maria?" Sharq asked, Maria politely declining.

"No thank you, I think I'll just stay here for a little longer, maybe I'll visit the plaza later. Have fun." Maria waved.

"Thanks, you too Maria! Let's go bro!" Sharq shouted, leaping out the still shattered window.

Splin and Maria stared at the still broken glass pane.

"I need to leave notes for myself, seriously." Splin remarked. "Bye Maria."

Splin contemplated leaping out the window for a moment, deciding against the ridiculous notion. He waved to goodbye to Maria, joining his brother outside. The two switched to squids, ready for takeoff, propelling themselves off into the big blue.

* * *

The two ever unlucky landers crashed into the sides of two trucks set up in the plaza, folks nearby who watched the scene were either startled by the brothers' surprise entrance or slightly used to the brothers' collision with the truck.

"Oh boy."

The Squid Sisters themselves, talking amongst a crew setting up for the Splatfest, noticed the brothers sticking to the side of the truck, taking it upon themselves to walk over.

"I'm pretty sure we never had pancakes as a Splatfest choice." Marie snarked with a mild chuckle, prying Splin off the truck. Callie did the same with Sharq, the two brothers floating to the ground almost like flat sheets of paper.

The two picked themselves up, shaking their heads.

"Are you okay A- I mean, um…" Callie stammered.

"Sharq!" Sharq introduced himself. "My brother's name is Splin, just to let you know!"

"Ah!" Callie nodded. "Nice bumping into you guys, or at least you bumping into the trucks… But we gotta set up for Splatfest! See you!"

Callie and Marie performed their signature "Stay Fresh" pose, then walked away, speaking idly with Inklings wearing earpieces and Splatfest Tees. Splin and Sharq waved adieu to the idols of Inkopolis, leaving the plaza, entering the Inkopolis Tower, the Great Zapfish's whiskers buzzing in anticipation of the night's activities. Splin and Sharq quickly entered the loadout room, the screens rotating around them glowing with images of Turf Wars. The two, having already been ready, were teleported off to the next available lobby.

Splin and Sharq rose from a spawnpoint, their blue tentacles remaining the same. The two looked around, finding that the area they spawned in was suspended in a pool of sorts.

* * *

The brothers stood on the stage officially named Mahi Mahi Resort. The entire battle stage was built in a large, squid-shaped pool filled to the brim with water, the pool surrounded by a large hotel, windows on the buildings for whatever reason glowing. A variety of platforms built in the pool rose out of the underwater floor, some with posters plastered on them. A second series of platforms was already submerged, presumably to be used in some sort of stage mechanic.

"Wow place looks pretty." Sharq commented, looking around. "Hey Splin, wanna take a dip?"

"After you." Splin joked, gesturing to the water, Sharq chuckling in response. Splin looked around for a moment, a confused look on his face. "...Again?"

"What?"

"See any other Inklings Sharq?" Splin asked.

Sharq looked around the area, only spotting a few jellyfish floating by on inner tubes, though some looked at Splin and Sharq puzzlingly.

"No one's here… Weird, did we pick Recon by mistake?" Sharq wondered aloud.

"I don't like this, the only other time Inklings didn't show up to a battle was… When the… Ranked Battle tower was malfunctioning…" Splin began to put two and two together.

A symphony of steel drums was heard, the windows on the resort all flashing in sync, forming an arrow pointing down. As soon as the arrow was seen, the stage began to descend into the water, much to the brothers' discontent.

"...Yep." Splin gulped, stepping off the spawn point.

"Darn new stages!" Sharq yelled, backing up to a corner of the spawn, water rising onto the stage.

The water began covering the entire stage, all platforms except the highest ones and the spawns submerged. Splin and Sharq were prepared for the worst, backing up against walls, the blue liquid reaching their feet, rising up to their ankles, the platform and spawnpoint underwater. They closed their eyes, waiting for the pain to begin, hoping for a respawn. The pain, in fact, was much tamer than they expected.

The two opened their eyes. The platform hadn't completely submerged, some walls still towered above the water. Looking down at their ankles, Splin and Sharq noticed that while the water stung somewhat, their legs remained intact.

"...Phew!" Sharq wiped his brow, attempting to take a seat.

"No wait!" Splin said, reaching for Sharq.

Sharq sat in the water, then began thrashing about, the water levels nearly suffocating him. Splin pulled Sharq back up, the other brother coughing and spitting out water.

"What!? But our legs are perfectly fine!" Sharq protested, gesturing both of his hands towards his legs.

"It appears that we still have some immunity to unfiltered water." Splin observed. "Just enough for our ankles to remain fine, but as for our entire body…"

Splin took an experimental dive, nearly sinking to the bottom, his body almost fading away in the water, until Sharq pulled him back up, Splin coughing up water like his brother did, his tentacles dripping ink and H2O.

"Yup, figured as much." Splin said in between coughs.

Sharq picked his brother up, then began shaking him mercilessly. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"Uh, testing the acidic properties-" Splin suggested.

Sharq cut his brother off, hugging him tightly. "No! You're not doing that, ever again!"

Splin blinked, patting his brother on the back reassuringly. "I'm fine, I'm fine!"

Sharq looked over his brother, checking him from head to toe, then hugged him again, just for sure.

"...Heh." Splin smiled somewhat.

Sharq glared at him. "What, what's so funny?"

"Remind you of a certain mishap with an inkslide, perhaps?" Splin poked him, pointing at the water.

The two looked into the water. Neither of them laughed and the both of them began to walk back from the liquid as it rose.

"So… How do we get out of this one?" Sharq asked.

The two went silent, looking around worriedly. The pool seemed clear.

"...The water's too high to Super Jump." Splin sighed. "I think we just bought the farm, Sharq."

"No!" Sharq gasped, "We don't even have any sea cows!"

Before Splin could say anything else, the two heard a paddle noise. They glanced at the water in confusion.

"Hello!"

Both of the brothers turned in the direction of the voice, noticing a fresh jellyfish wearing an Aloha Shirt seemingly tailored for him with a familiar purple hat, floating by on an inner tube.

"Jelonzo?" Splin asked.

The jellyfish waved. "Good day, kids of the squids! I see you are having the trouble, no?"

Splin and Sharq looked down at their feet, nodding.

"Aha! Do not fret, Jelonzo knows the trick to this sinking situation!"

Jelonzo paddled in the water using his tentacles, rowing him and his inner tube off to the dry ends of the pool. He returned quickly, having fetched a pair of inner tubes for the brothers.

"Here you are!" Jelonzo told them, tossing the two inner tubes using his tentacles, the two catching it swiftly.

Sharq put his head through his inner tube first, about to jump into the water, Splin stopping him quickly.

"Uh, you call me the fool when you're just about to leap before you look. Place the inner tube on the water, THEN jump on it." Splin instructed, placing his inner tube on the water, as if to demonstrate.

Sharq smiled, confusing Splin..

"Just glad we keep each other from getting splatted." He said, taking his inner tube, and placing it besides Splin. He leapt off from the platform, landing on the inflatable floatation device, moving towards the dry pool somewhat.

Splin followed, hopping on his, taking care to suspend most of his body above water.

"Thanks Jelonzo!" Sharq said.

Jelonzo took off his hat, raising it towards the two. "Anything for a fresh customer!"

Splin blinked. "Hold on, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here Jelonzo?"

Jelonzo put his hat back on. "Ah! Jelonzo is here to bathe in both the rays and the water! Very noble place, no? Plus, the females here are quite, ravishing, if you get what Jelonzo is telling you." Jelonzo stared at a jellyfish lounging on a chair, winking.

Splin and Sharq raised an eyebrow.

"Ha! The joke, rather silly, no? Jelonzo here to relax." He sighed and lounged back in his float.

"...Whatever floats your inner tube, man!" Sharq said.

Splin nodded, though he gave the jellyfish an odd look as he began to paddle back out. "...okay, well, thanks again for helping us Jelonzo, but we need to leave. See you!"

Jelonzo nodded, waving goodbye with one of his tentacles. "Be seeing you!"

The two brothers kicked at the water in a clumsy swimming attempt, drifting towards the side of the pool. The two slowly and carefully hopped off their inner tubes, landing safely on the other side.

"Whew…" Sharq sat on the ground, already exhausted.

You guys look a little soaked, here-

A cart carrying bundles of towels inexplicably drove by, two folded towels seemingly possessed by a ghost landing on the two brothers.

"Thanks voice." Splin said, wiping his face.

Don't mention it.

"So Splin, ready to visit the museum?" Sharq asked, patting his tentacles with the towel.

Splin sighed. "Nah… I'm think I'll just relax. ...Though that brings up the question, why did we get teleported to a stage inactive for Turf Wars?"

* * *

"Hold onto your tentacles…" Callie began per the norm.

"It's Inkopolis News time!" Marie announced.

"Before we begin, we regret to inform the viewers that due to the upcoming Splatfest, the Mahi Mahi Resort stage will be closed to the public as it will not be included in the stage rotation." Callie said, pouting to emphasize her displeasure.

"We formally apologize to those who may have been accidentally transported to the stage, and possibly drowned." Marie stated. "It wasn't our fault, by the way."

* * *

Splin and Sharq watched a television screen set up by a small snack bar, Splin frowning at the newscast.

"Very helpful, thanks you guys." Splin grumbled, looking down.

"Sorry you two!" Callie giggled nervously.

Splin turned back to the screen, surprise etched on his face. "Wait, did you just hear what I s-"

"Anyways, moving on!" Marie said, giving the brothers a wave, before the screen shut off.

Splin and Sharq stared in bewilderment, then shrugged, walking off.

"I swear, this place keeps getting weirder and weirder…" Splin sighed.

"This just in! A robot is terrorizing the Saltspray Rig!" Callie announced, posing dramatically.

"There it is!" Splin shouted, running out.

Sharq chortled, following his brother. "Yep, same as always!"

As the both of them left with wet shoes, the Callie on-screen was handed a sheet of paper. She narrowed her eyes and smiled. "Uh...oops... Maybe not. Stay fresh?"

Marie just shook her head next to her. "I apologize for my illiterate partner."

"Hey!"

* * *

AN: I am sorry my fellow pizza friends. I have failed in my duty as Pizza King, the Burger Kings and Queens reign supreme this Splatfest! Sorry for the odd dialogue, I had begun this chapter before the Splatfest, so there's that…

Enough of my bellyaching about the Splatfest results, let's talk reviews! Thanks Ultrapyre and Dread Angel for reviewing! Ultrapyre, yeah, I appreciate the kind words, but hey, the powers thing might have an exception during a final battle, or if some sort of dimensional thing happens that just justifies it or something. Dread Angel, thanks, I really thought that Maria might do something like that, seems like something she'd use. Anyways, thanks again guys, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to go and NOT spend money, waiting for Cloud to be added for Smash DLC! See you next time!


	35. The Brothers and the Mecha's Wrath

**Splat X: The Bate Bros.**

" **There are mechas in your world?"**

A pair of slightly wet brothers trudged through Inkopolis, towels covering the two almost like a cape gently swaying in the wind. They attracted some weird stares from Inklings on their way home, which was shrugged off as always. Reaching the end of a sidewalk, the two of them switched to squid form, Super Jumping away towards the hills, the towels floating off abandoned.

Once in the sky, Splin sighed, attracting Sharq's attention.

"What's on your mind?" Sharq asked, spinning, his tentacles swiveling like a shuttlecock through the air.

Splin looked at the clouds as they flew past. "...Just thinking about all the stuff happening lately. Alternate dimensions, robots, it's all so strange…"

Sharq laughed. "Strange, huh? Look at yourself now! You're literally flying through the air!"

"Not talking about logic, Sharq. It just seems unnatural. Gone are our days of simply playing in Turf Wars, now we have a mother of two omnipotent siblings staying at our house, a cube that can summon almost anything, an Inkling stuck as a trophy, a sentient alarm clock, and a sea snail." Splin explained, spitting out part of a cloud that blew past his face.

"Don't forget Rem and Ix!" Sharq added.

"...Right."

Splin and Sharq closed in on their home, soon to be landing. Seconds later, the brothers scraped by a rock, landing closely on the soft grass. Splin panted, looking back at the rock, then at his body to make sure he was fine, switching to a humanoid form to inspect his limbs better. A few scratches, nothing major. He turned to Sharq, who was already bounding up the hill to the house. Splin sighed, standing up, fiddling with his headphones, dashing up the hillside to join his brother. Sharq had entered the house first, taking a seat by the kitchen counters, while Splin came in, looking dead tired, flopping down on the floor a minute after. Maria sat inside, watching the television broadcasts as usual.

"Tough day?" Maria asked, shutting off the television.

"Sort of!" Sharq told her, lounging.

"Nearly drowned, but aside from that, fine." Splin muttered, dragging himself across the floor.

"What?! Are you okay then?" Maria asked, swiftly going to Splin's side.

"I'm fine, Maria." Splin reassured her, making a peaceful pushing gesture with his hands. "Just need to lie down…"

With that being said, Splin turned into a blue, exhausted squid, pushing himself over to his bed using his tentacles. Maria watched worriedly, Sharq following her gaze.

"He'll be fine." Sharq said. "Hey, didn't Rem and Ix say they'd be back by now?"

Speaking of which, a loud whooshing noise was heard, as well as something landing nearby.

"That must be them. Excuse me." Maria said, leaving the house, closing the doors behind her.

Curiosity taking the best of them, Splin and Sharq made their way to the windows, minding the broken glass, and peered through, Rem and Ix standing outside.

"There you are, what took you so long?" Maria asked, lying against the house's exterior.

"Well, we were out in the middle of the ocean. Even at Supersonic it would take us a while to get back…"

Sharq turned to Splin, an astonished expression covering his face. "They Super Jumped at a supersonic speed over here?! Awesome!"

Splin bit his lip. "...I'm thinking it was something else."

All of a sudden, Ix left, dashing towards Inkopolis. Rem turned to the house, glaring at Splin and Sharq for some reason. The brothers luckily took the hint, and walked back inside, sitting by the kitchen counters.

"Sharq, I've been meaning to ask you." Splin began, one of his hands on his chin, elbow on the counter. "...How exactly do you feel about all of these strange occurrences?"

Sharq snorted. "What, is this an interview, you a reporter now Splin?"

Splin glared at Sharq, an aura of pure seriousness surrounding him. "Sharq..."

Sharq stared back, sighing. "...Sorry, you're serious, right?" Splin nodded in confirmation, Sharq nodding as well. "Well… I mean, it's pretty odd, but I don't think it's much to get riled up about, in my opinion. Why do you ask?"

Splin looked down at the counter. "...Just wondering."

The two sat in silence for a while, absentmindedly looking around their small house. The silence would be quickly shattered.

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN KILLED!" Maria screamed, startling the two, the brothers jumping up a little.

Splin gulped, standing up straight. "I'm just gonna… Um, take shelter just in case…"

Sharq nodded, looking around. "Where are we gonna 'take shelter'?"

Splin rubbed his chin, inspecting his entire house. He turned to the pair of beds, Ann-Gel standing by the alarm clock nonchalantly. He swiftly turned back to the counters, Salty napping by the Tele-Cube tranquilly. Splin got an idea, an imaginary Great Zapfish shining above his head.

"Shockwhisk!" The Zapfish exclaimed, vanishing suddenly.

Splin walked around the counter, ducking into squid form, and reached underneath, opening a cabinet underneath. He stowed himself away, giving Sharq a salute with his tentacle, shutting it behind him.

Sharq blinked, smiling. "Why didn't I think of that?"

Just then, a light, hardly noticeable shaking in the ground seemed to have hit. Sharq wobbled, though he stopped quickly, the shaking passing.

"Hey Splin, did you feel that? Man, Maria must not be happy or something." Sharq asked.

Rapid, terrified knocks answered him, grabbing Sharq's attention.

"Sharq?! I think I'm stuck in the cabinet, help please!" Splin called out, banging on the inside of the counter.

Sharq gasped. "Hold on!"

Sharq pushed down his cap, and leapt over the countertop, landing on the floor behind the counter, reaching and jiggling at the small cabinet's handle. The door didn't budge, Sharq gritting his teeth in worry.

"Okay, so Splin, I think you're uh… Trapped in there. For a while." Sharq chuckled, though on the inside he was running around in circles screaming.

"..." Horrified silence came from the cabinet.

A moment later, Maria came dashing through the house, grabbing pillows left and right.

"Oh, right!" Maria exclaimed, turning to Sharq. "You don't mind if I borrow these pillows, do you?"

"No, but-"

"Thanks!" Maria said, about to speed outside, Sharq blocking the door.

"Wait!" Sharq panted. "Splin's stuck underneath the counter!"

"What?!" Maria shouted, dropping the pillows on the floor.

She ran around the counter, switching to squid midway, and nearly ran over Sharq, headbutting the counter cabinet in, splintering it, pulling Splin out, dusting him off, gave him a hug, and ran back outside with the pillows, all within the span of a few seconds. The two brothers simply sat there, their squid eyes glowing with amazement.

"Splin, you gotta admit, things have been pretty AWESOME ever since the inkslide park incident!" Sharq said, gripping his squid head with his tentacles as if to make sure that he was actually seeing correctly.

"And sort of terrifying." Splin admitted, slowly gasping for breath.

The two reverted to humanoid Inklings, walking out from the kitchen area, back towards the television. On their way there, they noticed Rem with her face in her palms, Maria comforting her. One thing that stuck them as odd was that Rem no longer wore much on her upper body save for a bra, which under normal circumstances would probably lead Splin and Sharq back into the house, but something was amiss. The brothers walked outside, gently opening the doors, and stood in front of the house, Sharq clearing his throat.

"Hey…" He spoke up gently, "Are you two alright?"

"Rem's a bit… upset." Maria told them, hesitantly.

"Maria, I think she's a little bit more than 'upset'. She's crying her eyes out." Splin said, pointing over at the weeping teenager. "Rem, can we help at all?"

Rem sniffled, shaking her head, though a light smile was on her face. "Thank you, you two… but it's something I think only I can handle." Rem stood up slowly, heading inside the house, the doors shutting close with a quiet clack.

Maria furrowed her brow, stooping down, picking up what appeared to be Rem's hoodie off the terra. "We should probably give her some time to herself." Maria glanced at Rem's hoodie, slinging it over her shoulder. "I'll go put this in the wash, then how about we go for a walk or somethin'?"

Splin nodded. "I think it would be best to leave her alone for a while." Urging him to leave was his stomach, a warning growl from Splin's stomach alerting him. "Guess we should go get some food while we're at it."

Maria nodded, taking one last look at the house. She shifted into squid form, gesturing at the boys to follow her, the two brothers changing into squids as well. Together they leaped into the sky, leaving the female Altezio sibling to herself.

* * *

Splin and Sharq as always had difficulty nailing the landing, though their experiences beforehand managed to net them a good spot this time around, landing mostly harmlessly on a wooden bench in the plaza. Maria landed smack dab in the middle, standing up as soon as she landed, though Splin and Sharq slid off stagnantly, hitting the cement with hardly a care. Maria inhaled sharply, picking up the two, setting them straight.

"Thanks." Splin said, shaking his head to relieve some of the dizziness from the fall. "So, where we going?"

The three began walking along the plaza, taking in the sights and sounds of the city as they went.

"I was thinking maybe we could get some pizza, drown our losses from that Splatfest, maybe?" Sharq suggested.

There we go!

"Buckos! I need ye help!" Cap'n Cuttlefish suddenly burst out out of the Octo Valley manhole, gasping for breath.

"Cap'n?" All three said in surprise.

"Ah! Agent A, B, and 3! You're all here, perfect!" He exclaimed excitedly, taking his cap off and waving it, attracting some odd looks from passerby.

"...How did you…?" Maria stuttered.

Cap'n laughed heartily. "You just seem like a 3 to me! Come quickly, thar be no time to lose!" With that being said, Cap'n ducked into the manhole.

The three stood in silence, looking at one another.

"...Should we?" Splin asked.

Maria, having already sprinted away, smiled nervously. "Um… D-Don't worry about me, just picking up some food for us!"

A bead of sweat rolled down Splin's face, the blue Inkling shaking his head. "...It's a good thing I brought these with us."

Splin reached at his back, inexplicably taking out an Inkbrush covered in blue, and Sharq's Strange Krak-On Roller, odometer shining proudly, ink tanks with him.

"Whoa, where'd you stash those?!" Sharq questioned.

Splin blinked. "...I honestly have no idea."

Guilty.

"Really?! Thanks voice!" Sharq spoke, taking the Krak-On Roller and an ink tank, strapping it to his back. "Let's go Splin, Cap'n's waiting!"

Splin smirked. "Sure, thanks again voice!"

No problem you two, get a move on, the plot awaits!

Splin nodded, and Sharq saluted using two fingers. Both of them switched to their squid form, and hopped through the manhole grates into Octo Valley.

* * *

Popping out of the manhole immediately after the short trip through the pipe, Splin and Sharq stood straight, searching for the Cap'n immediately. Cap'n Cuttlefish stood next to his shack, a large photo spread across a bulletin board built onto the side.

"Welcome you two!" Cap'n waved with his left hand, his cane propped up using his right. "Wish I could say I invited ye two in for a little chat, but we got some pressing matters! You see this?" Cap'n tapped the billboard behind him with his cane.

Splin and Sharq squinted their eyes, spying the picture behind them. On the wall, the mech the Octarians were developing was spread across it, clearly visible.

"...Yeah?" Splin said.

Cap'n Cuttlefish scratched the back of his head. "Well, it just so happens that an Octoling, an Octoling, can you believe it? One of them came around bringing this photo, shouting somethin' about rampages and whatnot… I couldn't make heads or tails of what she meant."

"...Well then, what exactly did you call us down here for?" Splin asked.

"On the bright side, I know what she meant now!" Cap'n said, gesturing for the brothers to follow him.

The three Inklings walked over towards the kettles, when suddenly a large machine flew by, the impact of the flying object pushing the three down to the ground. They stared in awe at the machine, the mech flying throughout the dome with ease.

Sharq looked at the machine, then back at the photo. While the mech retained the same features as described in a previous chapter, a single eye on its head was now glowing a deep blue.

"...I see what you mean." Splin said.

"We're gonna need some help with this…" Sharq said.

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing."

The two turned around to see Tai, Aussie, and Chi, all equipped but Tai with their Octoshots, the lazier of the Octolings standing with an Octobrush by her side, along with a squadron of multiple other Octarian forces standing behind them. Jerry floated nearby, spinning his Octocopter propellers rapidly, DJ Octavio floating up behind the force, his arms crossed. Cap'n Cuttlefish stood up, beginning to say something.

"If you get your 'agency' involved, 'Cap'n', Tai and I will make positively sure that you will NOT have anymore granddaughters." Chi growled.

Cap'n Cuttlefish frowned. "Age got to me first, missy."

"I assume you've seen the Skell fly by?" Tai asked, offering a hand to the two brothers.

The brothers took her hand, standing up, nodding.

"Nice! Where'd it go?" Tai asked, looking around.

Splin and Sharq looked in the direction the Skell flew away, blinking. They noticed a large hole smashed into the valley wall, rocks dropping from the hole in the wall.

"...I might have an inkling of what might've happened." Splin said.

Everyone went silent, a few Octarians coughing though Tai and Chi seemed to snicker somewhat.

"...Agent B, I suggest that you keep the puns at a low level." Aussie stated, putting two fingers to her goggles in irritation.

"...Right, sorry. Let me check really quick." Splin said, hopping through the manhole, the cover closing with a clang.

* * *

Splin popped out of the manhole, checking the skies. He half expected a robot Octoling mech to soar through the skies as he went, though most of the plaza seemed extremely calm. Lowering himself back into Octo Valley, he peered right back up when he noticed a newscast broadcasted right now onscreen just above the plaza.

"Hold onto your tentacles…" Callie began.

"It's Inkopolis News time! But no time for luxuries, we have breaking news!" Marie stated.

"Aw, that was my line…" Callie pouted, clearing her throat. "Anyways, first of all, we apologize for our mistake on the news, apparently Saltspray Rig is still intact…"

Splin sighed in relief.

"...But a mysterious machine was spotted in the ocean!" Callie said.

"Oh of course it was." Splin groaned.

"In other news, be on the lookout for a new threat, an Octarian defense machine of some kind has been seen flying around Inkopolis skies!" Callie said dramatically.

"You mean like that?" Marie questioned, pointing upwards.

The Skell dashed through the sky above the plaza, raining down bursts of ink blots onto the plaza from cannons, sending the populace of Inkopolis into a panic. Upon seeing the Skell's attack, Splin ducked back inside the manhole, sliding through the pipe, the ink bullets following him down through the pipe.

* * *

Everyone back in Octo Valley sat around, fiddling with their weapons. Sharq sat by Cap'n Cuttlefish and Octavio, checking his odometer on his roller.

"I need to use this thing more often, I hardly have any splats!" Sharq said, looking over the roller.

"Kicking tail in Turf Wars, Agent A?" Cap'n asked.

"Noice, remixing faces huh?" Octavio said, poking Sharq's roller.

"For sure!" Sharq exclaimed happily.

Tai watched the three males, grinning. "Heh."

"What's up Tai?" Chi asked.

"I'd imagine this is something our two races would do before those Great Turf Wars, you know? I mean, there's no cool fighting, but…" Tai sighed. "It's peaceful, people talking like nothing's happening. Even when there's a huge difference between us, at least a few of us can still get along."

"..." The other Octarians remained silent.

"Or maybe I'm just crazy and these Inklings are the only ones worth salvaging." Tai grinned, exposing her sharp teeth this time.

"Yep, there she goes again." Jerry sighed, floating about.

A rattling of the manhole alerted everyone, heads snapping in the direction to the two way entrance and exit, a squid swimming up, transforming to the headphone wearing brother in an instant.

"Well? You find the Skell?" Octavio asked.

"Yeah." Splin said.

Blots of ink fired out from the manhole blasted Splin away, the brother rolling onto the ground, though he managed to shake most of it off.

"I'm pretty sure." Splin told them.

"Well, what are we waiting for? We should be going up there right now, and take back what's ours!" Tai said, the Octarian crowd murmuring in agreement.

"Not so hasty, Tai." DJ Octavio said, making a stop signal with his robot's hands. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but we don't have a good entranceway to the surface available to accommodate all our forces."

Tai groaned. "Come on, I just wanna fight something!"

"T-41, we're not here to destroy or splat anyone, this is an extraction mission, remember?" Aussie reminded her. "We take back the Skell before it causes significant damage, and get back, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah." Tai waved Aussie off.

"Hey, if you don't mind us asking, what's the deal with this Skell? It seems like it has a mind of its own." Splin said, wiping off Octarian ink. "Almost like it went rogue."

The nearby Octolings turned to Tai and Chi, Jerry slowly descending nearby with a guilty face.

"...Heh, funny story about that." The two of them smiled innocently.

* * *

"This is the defense mechanism we've been working on!" Tai told Chi, Jerry, and Tek, standing in the Octarian hangar, showcasing the large Skell, deactivated. Chi and Jerry stood in awe, though Tek seemed indifferent.

"...Meh, I've seen better." Tek scoffed.

"Oh ho? Really, now?" Tai grinned. "Well then, I hope you're ready to have your mind blown when I show you this baby's abilities." Tai walked over to a control panel stationed nearby, her hand hovering over a button. "This thing is capable of artificial intelligence, we can just tell this thing what to do, who to splat, you know, the works, and it does it with ease! Watch this."

Tai stamped her hand on part of the panel, the panel glowing violet under her touch. The Skell began to rumble, the blue light serving as its eye on its head beginning to glow blue, a faint sea green light emanating out of the thrusters on its back. Tai tapped in some commands, words coming up on the screen on the panel, the Skell suddenly coming to life, its thrusters on its back firing neon green bursts, the Skell posing somewhat heroically.

"Ha ha!" Tai laughed.

"Amazing!" Jerry cheered.

"Dude, with this, we're practically unstoppable! Inklings will think twice before messing with us." Chi grinned.

"Whatever." Tek shrugged it off, reading a manga, looking away from the Skell.

Tai scoffed. "Yeah, Miss, 'I'm never impressed by anything' over here was a great asset to my audience." Tek said nothing, continuing reading her manga.

Tai fumed, her fist trembling on the control panel, when an alarm on in the hangar suddenly went off.

"Wha?" Tai looked up at the Skell, which was beginning to rise. "Wait, what?!"

 _DEFENSE PROTOCOL ACTIVATED. Have a nice day. :)_

After that surprisingly nice message at the end, the Skell burst through the hangar doors with a high speed tackle, flying outside the base. Tai stood, deadpanning at the events, while Chi and Jerry stood wide eyed and wide mouthed.

"...Get Octavio." Tai said, facepalming, though one eye was poking out from her fingers, watching the mech escape.

* * *

"I feel like it was sort of worth it." Tai shrugged. "Don't regret much."

"So… What's the plan, Octavio? How are we going to transport all our forces to the surface through that small entrance?" Chi asked.

"Ah. Yeah, it's pretty simple, we don't send all our forces." Octavio said plainly.

Aussie glared at Octavio. "Sir?! What are you suggesting?!"

Octavio laughed. "I'm saying we don't send an army, instead, we're sending these slimy little helpers out here with a small Splatoon accompanying them, they'll be responsible for taking down the Skell. Besides, if we somehow were to jam all our forces down there," Octavio pointed to the manhole, "Who's to say we'd all make it back? After all, some Inklings up there aren't exactly on speaking terms. That's why we just send one or two first, then send back-up if it proves too much."

"...Octavio's lost it." Aussie said, shaking her head. "Too many parties, knew it was bad for his health."

"Hah! I assure you Aussie, I am still sane. Anyways, Tai will accompany these two," Octavio gestured to the Bate Bros. "To the surface, take down the Skell, and the rest of the Octarians will help lug it back!"

"Wait, whoa whoa, that's your plan?!" Splin asked. "How do you expect us to take down a weapon of that caliber?!"

"That's for you to figure out! We cannot bring too many Octarians, as previously established, so you will have to go up yourself with Tai, and disable the machine yourself! What do you say, Inkling?"

Splin frowned, turning to the others. Tai leaned back on her Octobrush, smirking, and Sharq was spinning his roller around.

"...I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Splin sighed. "...Fine."

"You hear that?! They'll do it!" Octavio shouted to the Octarian crowd, who were bursting into cheers, though some were doubtful this would work.

Splin motioned for Tai and Sharq to follow, phasing through the manhole grates as a squid. Sharq followed, waving to the crowd, Tai leaving last, blowing a small kiss to the Octarians, before dropping down the hole.

Cap'n Cuttlefish sighed. "Really Octavio?"

"Really." Octavio responded simply.

* * *

The three cephalopods, two youngsters and a teenage octopus leaped out of the manhole, weapons poised. They already spotted the Skell, flying off across Inkopolis, the sky already dark.

"...Wait, did we ever think about getting you past all the Inklings unnoticed?" Splin asked, looking at Tai, who shrugged. As if to answer his question, Inklings of all sorts ran past the three, less concerned about the Octoling and more about the robot. "Suppose even rampaging robots have their perks."

"Splin, Sharq? Are you there?" Maria's voice called out.

The three stood still, Maria running through the plaza towards the three, panting somewhat.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you two! You've seen… THAT, right?!" Maria asked.

Splin, Sharq, and Tai all looked down at their weapons, then towards the Skell practically raining ink down on Inkopolis, nodding.

"Okay good, well-"

A laser beam charred the plaza asphalt closeby.

"Maria, there isn't much time to explain… We need to get to that Skell!" Splin sighed, looking at the sky.

Maria glanced at the Skell, flying through the sky. "That's what it is?!" Splin nodded. "...Why would you want to go near it?"

Tai sighed. "Long story made short, I screwed up, the Skell was released, and we need to get it back to HQ!"

All of them turned to the skies.

"...Okay… What are we waiting for, then?" Maria asked, taking out a Splat Charger.

"You're gonna help us?" Sharq asked excitedly, Maria nodding.

"...Where did you get that Splat Charger? Voice?" Sharq asked.

Nah...

"I… Had a feeling that something like this could happen. So, you ready?" She asked.

Tai grinned. "Heh. This is really getting interesting."

The other two nodded in confirmation, shifting into their aquatic lifeforms. Maria did the same, and they all launched themselves through the sky, the mech in their sights.

* * *

AN: Don't worry guys, I'm not going "completely off Splatoon topic" with this one, there are still going to be Splatoon elements in this Skell encounter, just… You know, with a giant robot.

Aside from that, time to respond to reviews! Thanks to Dread Angel and Ultrapyre for reviewing! I'm rooting for you Dread, make the Hawaiian Pizzas proud! Ultrapyre, I can assure you, Rem is not going to be a Shoggoth, more like a Giant Squid, good sir. Thanks for the Splatfest advice, as well. Thanks again for reviewing, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, time to work on my holiday budget, see you later!


	36. The Brothers and the Skell Fight

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Spooky Scary Sk-**

The brothers, Maria, and Tai flew past in their aquatic life forms, slowly gaining on the Skell, interrupting the name of the chapter as they went, the " **ell** " in the word Skell falling down, shattering as soon as they hit the asphalt.

"Whoops, sorry!" Sharq quickly apologized.

The four cephalopods hit the roof of a building overlooking Inkopolis, crawling over to the edge of the roof in their squid and octopi form, respectively. The switched to humanoids, crouching low, observing the Skell rain destruction upon the city.

"Alright Tai, what are we up against?" Splin asked, looking at the Octoling.

Tai squinted her eyes. "Well… There were dozens of features planned, added, and implemented, so many that I can't remember exactly. But from what the Skell's currently doing…"

The Skell activated something on its tentacle's wrist, a miniature cannon of sorts popping out of the artificial tentacle. The cannon shone for a moment, then unleashed a rapid barrage of ink bullets, blasting away citizens of Inkopolis running away in fear.

"Oh wow, it's using its Arts already?" Tai said, eyebrow raised, impressed.

"Arts?" Splin asked.

Tai nodded. "The original idea for the Skell we used was derived from an Ancient Sea Scroll, where Skells in past time would apparently roam the land, blasting things, using Arts as a form of attack skill! We found it next to the blueprints detailing a bunch of drones with razorblades."

Splin cringed. "You… wouldn't happen to have created those drones, would you?"

Tai scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous, we're only developing defense mechanisms right now."

The Skell seemingly activated another Art, its eye glowing an intense blue for a second. A thin beam of light extended from its tentacle, shining bright in the dusk light. The Skell took the beam, brandished it as if it were a sword, and sliced through a building, light green ink sizzling, eating through the building as a result, Inklings hopping out of the building in fear. Splin stared at Tai disbelievingly.

"...This was a work in progress, how was I supposed to know there would be a, 'rampage' feature?!" Tai growled.

"That doesn't matter now." Maria said. "You said you needed to get this back to your base, right?"

"Pretty much." Tai stated.

"Then let's go get it!" Maria shouted, jumping off the building, aiming her Splat Charger down, and firing, a light green line providing for a safe landing, Maria plunging into the ink as a squid, swimming ahead.

Splin, Sharq, and Maria followed, jumping off the building, though Splin was shaking his head during the fall, not at all prepared for this encounter. Upon hitting the ground, they ran towards the Skell.

"What's the plan, man?" Sharq asked to Splin, deploying his roller on the ground, a thick line of blue trailing behind.

"Figuring it out as we go, honestly!" Splin said, dashing ahead with his Inkbrush. "Try to find a weakness!"

Tai grimaced, dragging her Octobrush across the ground. "Figures, the mech we design with no weakness is the one we need to find a weakness in."

All three of them ran through the city, swerving between buildings, until they came across an open field just outside Inkopolis, the mech slowly hovering down, though multiple weapons built into it readily aiming was a sign that it wasn't finished just yet. Maria was aiming at the machine, her laser trained on one of the many turrets sticking out, barrels gleaming menacingly.

"Well, would you care to explain some of the Arts, please?" Splin asked.

Tai looked to the side, frowning, "Let's see… Well, we did route some cables to the tentacles for it to generate electricity from there…"

The Skell's right tentacle closed all of its turrets, the guns retreating inside the false flesh. The tentacle began glowing, then started violently sparking, the mech raising its tentacle. Maria visibly gasped, rolling to the side in squid form, narrowly dodging a tentacle slamming beside her, volts of electricity visibly sparking off, the tentacle lifting off of the smashed in pavement.

"I think there was also some bomb functions added, lots of bombs were needed for that."

A large cannon on the Skell shimmered, a "shing" sounding throughout the air, multiple Splat Bombs firing out of the cannon, exploding almost on impact as they hit the ground, Maria smacking some of the bombs back, which the mech somehow dodged.

"Oh yeah! And there's this really cool one called 'Bind', it ensnares enemies with this huge sphere."

The Skell leaned back, when a large, violet sphere nearly engulfed Maria, missing just barely, hitting a building. The Skell shook somewhat, with each shake, the building broke in half, though all the pieces appeared to stay in place. When the violet sphere suddenly disappeared, the building fell to the ground, leveled.

"Um, I hate to interrupt, but could you please HELP ME OUT HERE?!" Maria shouted, running for cover, blots of ink splatting on the ground next to her.

Tai grinned, rubbing the back of her neck. "Yeah, sorry."

Tai readied her Octobrush, holstering it like a blade, keeping her hand on the grip, then leaped up, slashing at the Skell. The Skell didn't seem affected, retaliating with a quick clash, taking out a beam sword, knocking the Octoling back with ease. Splin ran ahead, catching a falling Tai.

"Thanks!" Tai said, walking back.

Splin nodded, tossing a Sprinkler at the Skell. The Sprinkler attached itself to the Skell, the Skell staring at it for a moment. It simply flicked the Sprinkler off without a care, then began firing miniature Inkstrike missiles at Splin, who ran back using his Inkbrush, mentally scolding himself for thinking that would work.

Sharq looked at his Krak-On Roller, smiling. Rolling up to the Skell, his tentacles shining all of a sudden, he transformed into a Kraken, ramming into the Skell. The Skell wasn't fazed, kicking Sharq away, knocking him into a table next to a building. Sharq reverted to a regular squid, rubbing his head, falling onto the ground with a thud, Tai running over to assist him.

Splin on the other hand was swiping at the ground, covering it in blue. "Come on, come on…" Splin's tentacles began to shimmer. "Yes!"

Splin reached into his pockets, pulling out a Wii U Gamepad. He tapped on a large icon of a robotic octopus, a large Inkstrike missile appearing on his back, taking off immediately. He watched the missile go, the top about to smash into the robot's helm, Splin grinning triumphantly. Unfortunately for him, the missile simply bounced off the mech's head, the mech shrugging at its impact, picking up the missile and tossing it as if it were a javelin away, while at the same time firing a gatling gun of ink towards him

"No!" Splin cried out, desperately ducking for cover from the attack.

* * *

A light blue tentacled Inkling just so happened to be walking along the sidewalk, nervously looking around, shivering somewhat.

"H-Hello?" Aqua asked meekly. "Is anyone there?"

That's when the Inkstrike missile harmlessly hit the ground nearby, skidding across the pavement, completely missing Aqua.

"Eeek!" Aqua squeaked, making a break for it, the missile smoking.

* * *

Maria grunted, her tentacles now shining. "Alright you bucket of bolts… Try and dodge this!"

Maria activated a Bomb Rush special, tossing all of the bombs possible in the air. With expert aim, she shot all of the Splat Bombs, launching them quickly towards the Skell. The bombs smashed into the Skell, all making whirring noises, before they simultaneously erupted, light green ink showering down from the mech. Maria pumped her fist, smirking, the smirk quickly fading once the ink cleared, revealing a slightly dented and now drenched with light green yet still operational mech standing still, the eye leering menacingly at Maria.

Maria growled, attempting to charge up an attack in her hands, aiming her fists at the robot, but to no avail. "Damn it! Why does it only work with Rem and Ix?!"

The mech didn't answer, simply lifting the ground Maria stood on, and tossed it away, Maria leaping off, rolling onto the ground. She gasped, noticing that the earth tossed was hurdling towards a wary Splin being assisted by Sharq and Tai, who all luckily jumped out of the way. Maria sighed in relief, then was struck in the back by an ink laser of sorts, sent flying towards the three, who attempted to catch her, only getting launched back as well.

"Nngh…" Splin groaned, his eyes closed somewhat, eyelids fluttering tiredly.

"Is this... the end?!" Sharq asked, backing up.

"Dying to a heap of scrap?" Tai said. "I've heard of some dumb ways to die…"

"Brace yourselves!" Maria shouted.

All four of them watched as the mech's eye began shimmering, the light shining and dimming alternatively. They all closed their eyes, waiting for a devastating attack. Instead, they were greeted with a loud beeping noise.

"FUEL RESERVES LOW. SHUTTING DOWN. Good night! :3" The Skell said mechanically, the emoticon flashing in its eye, before the eye dimmed completely, the mech sitting down.

"..." Splin opened his eyes, staring with a relieved yet completely devastated look.

"...Are you flipping SQUIDDING ME?!" Tai screamed.

Maria grit her teeth. "All we had to do… Was wait for it to run out of fuel?! Of all the…"

Sharq began laughing. "Oh my Cod, really? That was it?"

Splin collapsed, landing face down, moaning into the sidewalk.

"Nice work, Inklings, Tai!" A voice boomed.

DJ Octavio himself floated down in his Octobot, Cap'n Cuttlefish standing next to him in the machine.

"Very well done pacifying the Skell! I knew you could- Tai?" Octavio looked over at Tai, who stomped over to the Octobot, leapt onto it, and grabbed DJ Octavio by his tentacles.

"You mean to tell me all we had to do to stop it, was wait for it to get tired?!" Tai roared, glaring at Octavio.

DJ Octavio made a peaceful gesture using his robot's hands. "Whoa, whoa! We never meant for the Skell to have low fuel, you were the one who launched it without our permission!"

Cuttlefish slowly climbed down from the machine, landing safely on the ground, walking away whistling.

"What type of idiot decides to fill a giant battle mech halfway?!" Tai demanded.

While the two Octarians bickered, DJ Octavio's machine shaking its fists, Tai pointing accusingly at Octavio, Cap'n Cuttlefish managed to walk over to the Inkling heroes.

"Nice work, agents!" Cap'n greeted them. "Don't worry about the mech, we've called th' agency, they'll help cover up the crime scene."

"Thank you, Cap'n Cuttlefish." Maria said, panting.

"Uh, how are you planning on doing that?" Splin asked.

* * *

"Hello Inkopolis, this is part two of the search for the mech terrorizing the city!" Callie said, enthusiastic as ever.

"It's been a few hours, and already there has been much destruction to our beloved city." Marie sighed.

Callie nodded, when suddenly a hand reaching out from offscreen gave her a short stack of papers. Callie took the sheets, quickly skimming through the top one, then gave them to Marie.

"It appears we have a new development in the story! The mech has been deactivated, and Inkling agents on the scene are cleaning it up!" Callie said.

Cheers came from the audience, as well as applause.

"Nice!" Marie said, quickly scanning the pages underneath. "Speaking of which, we're hosting a party in the plaza to celebrate. A pizza party!"

The applause this time around was scattered somewhat.

Callie turned to Marie confusedly, the viewers doing the same. "...Didn't you lose that Splatfest?"

Marie scowled, then flipped the page. Pretending to read, she cleared her throat. "Also, the first thousand Inklings there get free kisses from Callie."

Callie opened her mouth, letting it stay agape for a while. Inklings from Inkopolis Plaza all began crowding at the glass pane window, peering into the studio, fanboys and fangirls alike fawning over the popstar.

Callie turned to Marie, a look of distress on her face. "Why do you do this to meeeee…"

* * *

After a few hours, the entire area was secured, Octarians carrying back the mech, Inkling agents escorting them, making sure that they would make it home without arousing too much suspicion. Splin, Sharq, Maria, and Tai sat at a bench, watching the "officials" take it from there.

"I still can't believe it." Tai grumbled.

"Well, that could've gone much worse." Maria said.

"How?"

"Could've been killed by a heap of scrap metal." Maria said, grinning at Tai.

Tai sighed. "I guess…"

"Well, after that, I say we deserve a rest." Splin put, everyone nodding.

"Who wants to go home and sleep the rest of the night off?" Sharq asked, raising his hand, the others raising their hands in response.

A chorus of stomach rumblings changed their minds.

"...Who wants to eat something before we go home?" Splin asked.

The three others raised their hands, Tai jumping under Sharq's hat. They all walked off, leaving the Skell in the hands of the Octarian forces, slugging off the Skell under the cover of night.

* * *

AN: This one's shorter than the other chapters, sorry, having a bit of technical difficulties with the computer I type on, not to mention finals are coming up. Thanks OctoInkling75 for having thought of Aqua, even if this part, she was just a cameo.

Today's forecast calls for a review response! Thanks Dread Angel for reviewing! I know it might have been kinda cliche, but thanks for enjoying it, Dread! Anyways, that's it for today, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to water my flowers in Animal Crossing New Leaf! Later everyone!


	37. The Brothers and the KRAKEN Build-Up

**Splat X: The Bate Bros.**

" **What's a Metal Gear?"**

Splin and Sharq rested in their beds, staring at the still broken ceiling of their house, the Skell encounter a distant memory. Well, about as distant as your eyes are to these words typed on this screen. ...That means it was still recently fresh in their minds!

The other three Inklings of unfathomable power sat in the room, Ix lying down on a couch, resting nearby, discussing something with his sibling and mother. Splin and Sharq just kinda laid there, listening while resting.

"I don't find much of a point in fixing the roof anymore." Splin said, staring up at the hole in the ceiling. "If it just keeps getting broken, I'm not spending all this money on it."

"What money?" Sharq asked.

Splin blinked. "...Right."

Suddenly, Maria perked up. "Tenta…? She's going to attack Inkopolis? How? From what Rem told me, the Metal Gear she used is more suitable for water-based transport. Inkopolis is-" Maria paused, her eyes growing wide. "Oh, no."

"What would she even want to attack for? I get she's insane and all, but there's no value in it…" Ix questioned, sitting back down into the couch, Splin and Sharq going to lean on said furniture to hear the conversation.

Splin was now fully interested in the conversation. He chimed in, raising a finger. "Um, what's a Metal Gear exactly?"

Maria turned to the brothers. "Ok, you know the Skell?" The two nodded. "Now imagine that, but covered in machine guns, rail cannons, and is able to launch Nuclear Bombs."

Splin and Sharq blinked confusedly, not entirely well versed in what all of the weapons were exactly.

They got lots of firepower, guys.

The two brothers "aahed" in understanding, looking back to Maria.

"Of course, they come in all shapes and sizes." She finished.

"Back to the value of attacking Inkopolis…" A mysterious voice joined in. "She would probably want to cause wide-spread panic, weakening the forces and allowing her to launch a full-scale attack."

The owner of the voice revealed herself, appearing in the house. Tek herself, the Octo-Inkling hybrid entered with a puff of smoke, cyan ashes falling to the floor.

"WAH!"

The brothers jumped off the couch, startled, hiding behind the furniture, shifting into squid form as if it would help them. Sounds of ink weapons being drawn prompted them to flatten themselves across the floor beneath the couch. The two shivered slightly, watching the feet of the characters in the house shuffle ever so slightly. They stayed under the couch for a while, until the sound of sobbing attracted the brothers. Sharq slid out first, Splin grasping for him with a weary tentacle, ultimately sliding out with him.

Sharq reverted to humanoid form, walking over to the three as well as the new house intruder. "What's wrong?"

All of a sudden, Ix's voice echoed in his head. _"She had abusive parents. Even her twin sister abused her. Sis and I have met them. Long story short, Callie and Marie had to take legal action to stop them from 'taking us back'."_

" _Wait, so we can talk through our minds?"_ Sharq wondered, a slightly gleeful thought going through his mind, tapping the side of his head with an idea in his head. _"Splin, can you hear me?"_

" _It requires training, Sharq."_ Ix frowned disappointedly, walking back to Maria.

" _Aw…"_ Sharq sighed.

Hey, if it helps, I can just relay your thoughts to Splin.

" _Voice?"_ Sharq asked.

Uh huh, wait a minute. Hey Splin, Sharq wants you to come out of the couch.

A slight banging noise from under the couch could be heard, as a disgruntled Splin crawled out of the couch, rubbing his now humanoid head underneath his headphones.

"Shouldn't have been so quick to leave." Splin grumbled.

"That's amazing!" Sharq grinned, then glanced at the others, coughing nervously. "Sorry, meant to whisper there."

"Splin, Sharq?" Ix said, grabbing the brothers attention.

"Yeah?" Splin asked.

"The instant you hear screaming…" Ix began, adopting a serious face, glaring at the two brothers cautiously. "...you need to evacuate wherever KRAKEN is and where it will go. Got it?"

The two nodded, Maria and Rem smiling nearby. Maria cleared her throat. "So, you lot want some food, I presume?" Maria asked, her offspring nodding, Tek remaining rather indifferent however.

Splin sighed. "I think I'll just get some fresh air."

Sharq nodded. "I'll come with you."

Maria waved to the two brothers, who left their house, sitting outside almost as soon as they got the chance.

Splin stared at the sky, a bright blue illuminated by the yellow sun. "Hmm…"

"What, debating the logics of the universe again?" Sharq asked with a smirk.

"Somewhat. Things haven't been as… Simple lately, to say the least. I mean, sounds like a broken record, I know, but come on." Splin gestured inside, where a reluctant Tek was offered a seat by the counter.

"Well, what is simple?" Sharq asked. "You keep going on about, 'wishing things will go back to normal'. What exactly is normal?"

Splin turned to Sharq with an eyebrow raised. "When were you a philosophist?"

"I'm just saying man, you can't complain about things not being normal when they haven't really BEEN normal, get what I mean?" Sharq said.

"...Yeah, I suppose."

The two sat in silence, breathing in the fresh air of the hills, looking down at the grass and sky, birds nearby flapping gentle wings above.

"Hmm." Splin looked up.

"What's up?" Sharq asked.

"I think I'll take a walk, just to clear my head, you know?" Splin said.

"Alright. Be home soon, I can't prepare against the Metal Gear alone!" Sharq said.

Splin nodded, turning into a squid. He leapt off towards Inkopolis, Sharq waving on the hills, going back inside the house.

"Hey, so Splin left for the plaza-" Sharq halted.

Three cephalopod teenagers were currently devouring food at the speed of light, surrender now or prepare to fight. Maria stood by, taking a glance at Sharq, and shrugged, smiling. The three eating paused for a moment, glanced over at Sharq, took a napkin, and all wiped their faces. They proceeded to go back to their lunch, Sharq blinking, ignoring the oddities of the three, moving towards his bed. Taking his Splatendo 3DS nearby, buy it now for all your holiday needs, he sat down on his bed, and began playing, sounds of feasting in the background.

* * *

Splin landed in the plaza, stumbling to land straight on his feet. Barely keeping himself from tripping, he straightened himself up, looking around. The plaza was busy as always, Inklings walking in and out of shops in the Booyah Base with new purchases. Splin began walking away from the plaza, leaving the barriers, walking out into the sidewalks of the city, looking around at all the sights and sounds. Despite the multiple recent robotic attack reports courtesy of Callie and Marie, it seemed like none of the citizens were too concerned with anything, blissfully walking along through shops and restaurants like normal.

Splin eventually tired of walking, sitting by a bench, slumping downwards, staring at the sky. "...Hi." He spoke, seemingly no one around to hear. "You're seeing how strange the circumstances have gotten, haven't you? Were things this odd when you were here?"

Splin was answered with the sounds of cars driving past, pigeons and gulls above cawing occasionally.

"...Guess that's a 'no', huh?" Splin said, staring at the clouds. "...I don't blame you for not answering, you're probably busy somewhere."

The young brother sat on the bench for a while, standing up after a few moments, finally deciding to leave, adjusting his headphones.

"...Thanks anyways, mom, dad." Splin sighed. "Wherever you are."

He took a step forward, when suddenly the ground shook. Splin blinked, looking back up to the sky curiously. About to say something, he rose his finger, but ultimately decided not to say anything. More tremors shook the ground, this time visibly shaking buildings slightly, jellyfish passing by jiggling like gelatin.

"What the…?" Splin looked over, outside Inkopolis, where the beach he transcended dimensions at was. A small black dot was advancing towards Inkopolis, though slowly, it was clear that it was coming closer to the city.

Splin gulped, and began a brisk run towards Inkopolis Plaza, others nearby staring at him in confusion. They took a glance towards the shores, squinting their eyes, then began murmuring, all smartly walking away from the beach area as if they were used to giant machines of death rampages by now. Splin arrived at the plaza, looking around frantically, noticing a sleeping Spyke, still sitting calmly on his mat. Starting a jog towards the sea urchin, he momentarily paused, debating whether or not he should actually bother the urchin, but decided that to lessen the chance of an innocent(?) life being taken, ran over to the napping urchin.

"Spyke!" Splin said, tapping on the urchin's shoulder.

A slender hand shot out, grabbing Splin by the collar, Spyke's green eyes glaring at Splin, lowering in intensity upon realizing who he was grabbing.

"Sorry mate, not usually appreciative of those disturbing my naps." Spyke said calmly.

Splin swallowed nervously. "I-It's fine, look, there's a…"

"Another colossal behemoth about to lay waste to this city?" Spyke asked, Splin giving a slow nod. "Yep, figured as much. Don't worry, we already have an evacuation planned out."

Spyke pointed to the Squid Sisters' studio, the pop stars standing in front of cameras and a screen, Callie fidgeting with her fingers worryingly, while Marie appeared indisposed at the moment, carelessly looking elsewhere.

"Huh." Splin muttered.

"After that Skell incident, we decided to plan in cases of emergencies like this, just in case you blokes accidentally unleashed another threat to society by accident." Spyke explained.

"Wait, you know about that?" Splin asked.

"Love, talk gets around fast in this tiny city quicker than you think. It's just that these kids don't really care much for rampaging robots when they're watching Monday night Ranked Battles." Spyke said, lowering him onto the ground. "What are you waiting for, get outta here now, they're already evacuating everyone!"

Splin nodded, hopping out of Spyke's grasp, waving to him as he ran, Spyke giving a small nod of acknowledgement. Splin flattened himself across the ground as a squid, Super Jumping away.

* * *

Splin hit the side of the hill, climbing up quickly, reaching his house. Splin burst through the front doors, panting, and shouted, "SHE'S HERE!"

"What!?" Ix questioned, Splin dashing towards the television, turning it on.

The screen fizzled, a nervous pair of Squid Sisters onscreen.

"Breaking news! The robot that was causing trouble near Saltspray Rig is headed right for Inkopolis! And it's armed! Everyone RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Callie screamed, making a break for the studio exit, but was yanked back onstage by Marie, still calm compared to her cousin.

"It's got a while to get here, though, so just grab what you can and get to a safe location. We'll keep you updated on this as it unfolds." Marie said calmly, Callie calming down as well in the background.

"Damnit, Tek!" Rem snarled suddenly, stamping her foot on the floor.

Tek reappeared in the household, a puff of smoke following her. "A miscalculation on my part. Just do what you were going to do. Go!" She instructs them, vanishing with another puff of smoke.

"What are you waiting for!? Run!" Maria yelled, taking her Splat Charger, running out the door, Rem and Ix following her.

"L-Let me get some weapons, first!" Sharq said, running upstairs. Sharq stopped for a moment, looking around on the flat rooftop, the only thing on top a ruined Squid Beakon. "...Uh…"

A Sploosh-O-Matic and Mini Splatling popped into existence, two ink tanks falling next to them.

Got your back.

"Thanks voice!" Sharq said, grabbing the weapons and ink tanks, running back inside. "Come on, Splin!" Sharq said, tossing the Sploosh-O-Matic over to Splin as well as the ink tank, which Splin caught, sliding back a little from the catch. The two of them dashed out the door, leaving the hills, the others running towards Inkopolis.

* * *

Meanwhile, across the city of Inkopolis, various citizens were already prepared, packing away valuables and equipping ink weapons just in case things got a little too personal for their taste, locking their doors and taking shelter.

"Ha! Another machine of destruction? That's nothing compared to I, the great Ari!"

"Uh huh, and that's why you decided to take shelter here, huh?" Pela scoffed, shaking her head.

A group of Inklings, jellyfish, and other various sea creatures huddled inside of the Oahu restaurant, tables and chairs stacked up against the windows. Everyone present inside the restaurant backed away from the glass panes for fear that something could crash inside at any moment.

"It's for defense purposes." Ari stated condescendingly. "I will protect all of you if the robot breaches the walls!"

"So cool…" Sari, Rit, and Bas all swooned nearby, echoing.

"Th-Thank you, Ari. That's nice of you…" Aqua said nearby, though she was currently ducking behind a small table turned over, her tentacles wrapped over her head cautiously.

"Hey, maybe you could reward me for my efforts right now if you know what I mean." Ari said, puckering his lips somewhat. The only thing he managed to kiss was the flat surface of a frying pan, courtesy of Pela. "Ow, what's with you?!"

Pela smiled, taking her frying pan and stowing it in her chef's apron. "Kissing is not on the menu here, sweetheart."

Ari grumbled, rubbing his face, Aqua shuffling back a bit.

"Just to be clear, we're kicking him out if he tries that again, right?" Zip asked, aiming a Splat Charger at the door for defense reasons.

"I'm all for that plan!" Willie said, popping up with a Dynamo Roller in his hands, clenching the handle.

A few of the people sitting inside noticed something run past, everyone tensing up in response. Footsteps sounded off outside, when suddenly the door began to creak open, tables pushed ever so slightly, before the door couldn't budge anymore without knocking over a table. A glimpse of someone or something entered the thin space between the restaurant and the outside.

At this point, everyone went nuts, Zip firing bursts of ink, Willie flinging ink as well, Pela standing by with a kitchen knife, brandishing it dangerously, and surprisingly, Ari ran towards the door, fists raised.

Ari grabbed the "thing" and pulled it inside. "Ha ha! Gotcha now!"

"Oh, hey Ari!" Sharq waved, Ari yanking him by his head tentacles.

A huge sigh of relief surrounded the entire diner, Ari putting Sharq down in embarrassment.

"Rival? What are you doing here, get inside!" Ari said.

"Actually, I was just checking to see if people in here are okay, well equipped, you know?" Sharq looked over at the cash register counter, waving to the rest of the people there. The employees of the restaurant stowed away their weapons, waving nervously, Aqua waving just as nervously.

"Welp, time to go! See you guys later!" Sharq smiled, taking his cap off, and waving it as he left.

Sharq closed the door behind them, letting the restaurant patrons and employees alike sit and think over the absurdity of the situation.

"...If it helps, that was a pretty heroic act." Sari spoke up. "Rushing towards the door, I mean."

"Yeeeeeaaaaaah!" Ari exclaimed, heroically posing on top of a table, his squadron of females cheering him on.

A spoon flung from the kitchen knocked him down. "No standing on the tables!"

* * *

AN: Okay, I'm sorry OctoInkling75, I just had to include Aqua in one more chapter, had to get it out of my system. Hope you can understand, but I can cut out the part out if you wish.

Um, besides that, time to respond to reviews! Thank you Dread Angel for reviewing! All mechs could do with a little more personality if I do say so myself, though considering the quantity of murder drones with such personality… Uh… Maybe humor is the most I should write for these drones. Thank you everyone, again, for reading this story, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, hopefully I can outlive this hoard of zombies in L4D2 to write another day!


	38. The Brothers Watch a KRAKEN

**Splat X: The Bate Bros.**

" **That's the Metal Gear?!"**

Moments after Sharq had left the safety of Oahu, as he left the restaurant causally, a gigantic robot was laying siege to Inkopolis, smashing buildings and setting some alight, flames dancing from the rooftops of skyscrapers, buildings crumbling into dusty rubble, spreading across the streets.

"Oh my gosh, that was fast!" Sharq commented, running through the streets, which at this point were either emptied or filled with screaming, panicked citizens.

The brothers dashed through the streets. Ahead of them, Rem, Ix, and Maria all sprinting ahead towards a large machine. The machine itself looked somewhat like a kraken itself, painted black with blue serving as the accents, eight mechanical tentacles stretching out wide. The tentacles reached out from the ocean shores, crawling onto land. Just then, a tentacle from the machine opened up, revealing hundreds of missiles. The missiles, as soon as they were revealed, were fired out from the tentacle, aiming for Inkopolis. Most of the missiles merely hit the shore-side buildings and streets, which have since been evacuated.

"UHAHAHA! THE KRAKEN SHALL BIRTH A NEW BEGINNING FOR OCTARIANS!" A voice cackled out from the KRAKEN machine as the missiles flew, Rem and Ix hopping on top of two missiles launched with ease, shouting something at the person inside.

"So that's this Metal Gear they were talking about?" Splin muttered, inspecting KRAKEN from a distance. "It's not too different from what I've expected. Although the name seems kinda familiar."

"Splin!" Sharq exclaimed, lightly smacking Splin on the back of his head using the back of his own hand. "Stop daydreaming, we need to get people to safety, remember?"

"Oh yeah! This way, folks! It's all under control!" Splin shouted, ushering civilian jellyfish and Inklings away from the area of destruction. "...I hope."

As they ushered several Inklings and jellyfish away, Splin then glanced at Sharq with a bizarre look. "Wait, since when do you give the orders?"

While a shrimp jogged past them, Sharq blinked and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, sorry."

"No, no, that's totally fine!" Splin exclaimed, "Just keep going."

The two escorted the citizens to safety, getting them to take shelter inside of buildings far from the battle. The mob filed into several buildings free of debris. Of course, screams and panic remained constant; several shards of debris were flung at them from the battle. As the action went on, the brothers began sprinting away, until Splin stopped for a second, staring at the KRAKEN.

"Huh." Splin said, a light smile present on his face.

"Splin, what are you doing man?! Come on, let's move!" Sharq said, gesturing away from the killing machine.

"...Just a little curious. It's a marvelous piece of technology, you know?" Splin said, interested in the Metal Gear.

"Wha?!" Sharq shook his head in confusion, eyes wide. "Splin, snap out of it! What's gotten into you, are you nuts?!"

"You were the one telling me to chill out, right?" Splin said.

"I was just asking what your definition of 'normal' was!" Sharq shouted.

All of a sudden, Rem was knocked back by a tentacle blow, crashing into a building nearby. Not before slamming through multiple other buildings of course. Splin and Sharq looked over, gasping, then ran towards her, picking her up as well as assisting with dusting her off.

"You okay?" Splin asked.

"Other than the fact that was one of the hardest hits I've ever taken, I'd say I'm ok." Rem told the brothers, a hand massaging her forehead. She stood up and dusted herself off and said, "Why are you two here, by the way? I thought you would have gone with everybody else."

Splin looked at her, glancing at the KRAKEN for a second, grinning sheepishly. "W-Well, there could always be more people here, you know?"

Rem stared hard at Splin for a moment, the normally cautious brother sweating only a little, nervously shaking, though the shakes were nullified by the shakes caused by the Metal Gear. He was not sure why, but Splin desperately wanted to watch.

Rem shrugged after a few moments. "If you say so."

Rem sprinted towards the KRAKEN, Ix already attempting to beat it back, Maria providing support with a sniper rifle trained directly on the Metal Gear, which was starting to beach itself onto the shores.

Sharq turned to Splin, confusion and concern carried in his eyes. "...Splin, what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Splin sighed. "I dunno, it looks really interesting."

Sharq frowned. "You didn't think it was too interesting when we tried to fight the Skell."

"Yeah, but there's just something appealing with this Metal Gear… Who knows, perhaps with our observations, we could sketch up some schematics or something, a weapon to surpass Metal Gear, huh?" Splin smirked.

"...Um, that WOULD be pretty cool, but…" Sharq paused suddenly. "Wait…wha?"

* * *

A man somewhere lifted his head, looking around. The man squinted his eyes, then shrugged, adjusting his round spectacles while brushing his dark brown hair out of his face, then went back to sitting down on a pair of what appeared to be bionically assisted legs, two bionics attached to a small chair holding him up, the man looking over a collection of papers held in by a clipboard.

"...Less food before bed, Huey." He told himself in a shaky voice, examining the notes, blueprints of large robots drawn on them.

* * *

"Weird." Sharq blinked.

"...You felt that too, right?" Splin asked his brother, who nodded. "What WAS that?"

"I...really don't know." Sharq admitted, watching the battle rage on by the beach front.

They watched the siblings from another dimension defend the city from the destructive cephalopod mech, watching blades extend from the KRAKEN's tentacles, chopping the ground nearby Rem and Ix, catching nothing but air and sand, the attacks breaking through the ground, causing small tremors. Several unlucky businesses were slashed, from tanning salons to small snack bars. Several splinters of wood erupted from the buildings.

"I'm seriously reconsidering our choice to stand here and watch, bro!" Splin yelled, stepping back wobbly.

Sharq turned to Splin, a clearly irritated glare smack dab on his face. "Our choice?! Splin, you're the one who wanted to stay!"

"True, true, but come on! This looks awesome!" Splin said grinning, a crackling of explosions sounding off in multiple buildings.

Sharq stared at the explosions, his lip quivering, until he gave in, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. "Fine, you win. But if that gets too close, we run, got it?"

"Got it!" Splin said, looking at the fight.

Sharq suddenly blinked in realization. "Hold on one second... Since when were you so interested in-"

Splin turned to Sharq, a victorious, somewhat evil grin on his face. "The tables have turned, dear brother."

Sharq stood there for a minute, until a distressed grimace with a tiny hint of pride graced his face.

"No... way."

"Now do you understand what I feel every time you force me into things?!" Splin asked, eyebrow raised. "Doesn't feel great, does it?"

"Hang on, since when have I gotten us stuck in a situation this bad?" Sharq questioned.

Chapter 1: The Brothers Go To an Inkslide Park, to be precise.

"Gee, thanks for choosing a side, voice!" Sharq complained, bullets ricocheting in the background. "I just wanted to have fun! I didn't know the park would crumble apart!"

"Exactly! This is basically your punishment, and I'm milking this for all it's worth, honestly." Splin grinned, taking a seat by a building.

Sharq groaned, taking a seat next to him, pouting. They watched the other Inklings beat the mech sprawled out on the sand with radiant ferocity, taking care to step back each time they assumed an attack would end up frying the two, like a laser or a missile. An attack from Ix suddenly caused the KRAKEN to release a screech, which began to pierce the ears of our two young brothers.

"Aaugh!" Splin groaned, blocking his ears.

"Ngah!" Sharq cried out, covering his ears as well.

"Could you two get that thing to screech a little bit quieter!?" Sharq asked, smothering his ears.

Across the street, Rem smashed in part of the KRAKEN with a simple headbutt, a female voice chiming out in response, "Voice systems offline."

"Thank you…" Sharq said quietly, rubbing his ears.

"...Still worth it!" Splin said, giving his head a light smack to clear it.

"You're such a jerk!" Sharq cried out, much to the amusement of his younger brother.

Splin laughed, immediately stopping once he turned around, facing the battle once more. KRAKEN was hurdling through the air, tentacles flailing about in the air as it flew, crashing to a stop on the ground close by. Sharq, reacting quickly, tackled Splin to the ground, the two of them barely missing the debris flung from the impact. Sharq stood back up, picking Splin up, the two of them shaking and panting for breath.

"Are you ok?" Sharq questioned, looking over his brother for any injuries.

"Y-Yeah…" Splin sighed, staring over at the KRAKEN, lying down embedded in the ground, smoke rising quickly from the Metal Gear. _"Come on you two…"_

Splin turned to his brother, ready to perform an injury analysis of his own, only met with an unflinching glare from Sharq, Splin's own pupils shrinking. The two stood in silence, Splin backing up nervously.

"Uh…" Splin stammered, backing up against a wall.

Sharq didn't say anything, only proceeding to glare more at Splin. After about a minute, he closed his eyes.

"...Splin." He said.

"...W-What is it, Sharq?" Splin asked.

Sharq chuckled quietly, Splin closing his eyes in preparation of a retaliation. Instead, he was greeted with a warm hug, Sharq's head lying across his shoulder.

"...L-Look Splin, I'm sorry for pushing you into things recently." Sharq said. "I just, you know, thought it would be fun, right?"

Splin stood, mouth agape, until he looked down at the floor, guilt etched into his face. "...I'm sorry too, I didn't think this through, exactly." Splin rubbed the back of his head, before returning the hug, an exasperated sigh escaping his mouth.

Sharq sniffled, a teary smile on his face now. "...Apology accepted. You wanna go back to watching the fight?"

"...Sure. You alright?" Splin asked. "Huh, everyone's crying a lot more recently."

"I guess voice should stop leaving onions sitting out in the open then, huh?" Sharq said.

The two stood in silence, or at least as silent as a loud rampaging robot in the background could sound, awkwardly letting the joke sit.

"Uh, so, anyways… The fight?" Sharq said, gesturing back towards the mech.

"Right, right." Splin coughed to clear the silence. "Both of us need to learn how comedy works."

I'll try to give you a lesson after this is done.

The brothers turned to the mechanical monstrosity, now lying broken on the floor, pieces of rubble covering the top. An Octo-Inkling hybrid laid on the ground next to it, her black and red tentacles tiredly slumped on the Metal Gear. She yelled something the brothers couldn't hear, and lunged towards Ix, standing nearby on top of the KRAKEN. Instead of ramming into him, she fell halfway, Ix catching her in his arms quickly. Tek then appeared in a puff of smoke that quickly vanished behind her, taking the other Octo-Inkling and pushing her to the ground, a pair of handcuffs in her hands, restraining her fellow hybrid, slinging her over her shoulders afterwards.

Sharq walked forward a bit, yelling up to them, "Is it over?!"

"It's over!" Ix yelled back.

Sharq sighed in relief.

"So does this mean…?" Rem asked, landing nearby on top of the mech. "Does this mean it's ALL over?"

"Yeah, no more fighting." Ix told her, smiling, though he looked somewhat unsure.

"Guess that means you two have to go home, huh?" Maria questioned, also landing on top of the mech, smiling, though her eyes betrayed the happy facade.

"I would, but I have my insane sister over my shoulders. But…" Tek looked over at Tenta, sleeping surprisingly peacefully. "I think we managed to knock some sense into her. Oh, by the way…" She turned to a pod built into the KRAKEN, smoke pouring out over it. "I think the little trinket you need is in there."

"Alright, I'll go get it." Ix said, heading into the pod. After a minute of searching, he came out with a miniature sphere, covered in soot and cracks. "Got it." He said, tossing it up in the air and catching it. He paused for a moment, staring at the orb, an idea flashing into his head. "Hold this," He said, handing the orb to Rem, then jumped off the mech, landing in front of Splin and Sharq. "You two."

"Yeah?" Sharq asked wonderingly.

Ix silently reached for his head, pulling off a white headband holding his tentacles upright, letting the tentacles drop down from his head in doing so.

"Something to remember us by." Ix said, smiling, holding out the headband. "Take it."

Sharq blinked in amazement. Splin, walking over past Sharq, reached out for the band, taking it from Ix, both of the brothers staring at it for a few seconds. "We'll keep it safe, I promise."

Immediately he stuffed it in his shorts pocket.

"Ix!" Maria called out, dropping by her son. "Could you come with me? I want to… give you something before you go." Maria motioned for Ix to follow, walking behind a piece of KRAKEN smashed into the ground, sticking out like a knife, the two standing behind, discreetly speaking.

Everyone stood in silence, the sounds of disorientated snores from Tek's sister echoing throughout the city, as well as sirens from various emergency services.

"Man, this is gonna cost the city a fortune." Splin whistled, looking around at the destruction.

"Yeah." Sharq said, looking around as well. "Remind me never again to anger anything huge and dangerous."

"That would've come in handy a while ago." Splin remarked with a scowl. "I'm beginning to think we're probably the biggest threat to any race on the planet considering our track record."

"...OH! Maybe THAT'S why mom and dad built the house on the hills!" Sharq said, pounding his fist on the open palm of his left hand.

"Interesting theory…" Splin said, smirking. The smirk vanished instantly. "...Too interesting."

After a while, Ix and Maria left the privacy of the large KRAKEN shard, Rem smiling in response. "Alright, Ix. Home time."

"I know, I know." Ix said, walking up besides the other three siblings of the Altezio family, turning to Maria. "Gonna miss you, you know?"

"I know." Maria said, tears already beginning to drip down her face.

"Ah, you're crying already? We haven't even left yet!" Maria joked, the group chuckling in response.

"Voice?" Splin and Sharq murmured jestingly.

Nah man, I didn't have anything to do with those tears.

"Hasta la vista." Rem said, bidding them a goodbye, pressing a button on the orb she carried, the four other cephalopods vanishing along with KRAKEN.

"...Wait, they took that thing with them?" Sharq asked, the rubble previously on the area where KRAKEN was falling through thin air, landing on the ground. No one answered his question, standing there in silence, small droplets of tears dropping down Maria's eyes.

"HAHAHA! Face me, evildoer, or face my wrath instead!" A familiar boastful voice yelled out, Ari, Inkbrush brandished like a lance, running towards the area where the KRAKEN once sat. "Fear me, for the great Ari, is completely- Where'd it go?" He asked, skidding to a halt.

"Uh…" Splin muttered. "You know the teenager you tried to flirt with earlier, Ari?"

Ari holstered his Inkbrush, adjusting his Jungle Hat. "...Yeah…?"

"She took care of it."

Ari's eye twitched, and the boastful teenage squid threw his hands up into the air in anger. "YOU GOTTA BE SQUIDDING ME. My glorious victory, stolen!"

"We actually already used that line twice before." Splin said with a sigh and a shake of his head. "Nice pun."

"Hey guys, where'd the mechanic harbinger of death go?" Zip asked, popping up besides Ari, who was sulking on the ground. "Don't tell me you two served it like a dish of calamari, did you?"

Sharq shook his head.

"Oh." Was Zip's only reply, the girl looking around at the destruction surrounding the city.

"Did I miss the beat-down?" Willie asked, arriving as well, looking around. "Shame, I got popcorn ready and everything!"

"Why is everyone suddenly so interested in this?" Splin asked.

"We DO have slow news days." Sharq said, shrugging.

"Stop right there!" A female voice cried out, a car hurdling towards everyone, luckily missing all of them completely, crashing into a building, a chunk of the building crashing down next to it.

Callie of the Squid Sisters fell out of the driver's seat, dizzy, but somehow unharmed despite the head-on collision with a building. Marie hopped out of the passenger's seat, picking up her cousin, both garbed in their Agent 1 and 2 disguises.

"No wonder Father Squidmas put you on the naughty list this year." Marie smirked.

"Oh yeah?!" Callie questioned offendedly. "Well at least I don't try to burn you on live television, how am I the naughty one again?!"

"It was a corporate decision! They thought irony would increase our views!" Marie argued.

The others stared at the bickering idols of Inkopolis for a while, the argument eventually settled with two not exactly happy cousins.

"Ahem." Splin coughed.

The cousins turned to the brothers and the rest of the members of the story, swiftly standing up straight, waving nervously.

"Why are you guys here?" Sharq asked.

"We're here to help you battle the-"

"Already taken care of," Splin said, pointing to the crater the KRAKEN was sitting in.

"Awwww…" Callie sighed.

"...You two look familiar, have we seen you before?" Zip asked.

"I, for once, agree with you plebs." Ari said, attempting to act condescending. "You also sound familiar… Ever sang in an album or something?"

The Squid Sisters began to sweat, both of them taking care to wipe the beads of sweat with towelettes brought with them, as stars have to look their best despite their disguises.

"Okay, well, it's cool you all came, but seriously, there's nothing left here, sorry." Sharq told them.

"Well, looks like our work has already been done for us, Agent 1, let's go." Marie said, Callie's face lighting up in excitement. "And I'M going to be driving this time." Callie frowned, crossing her arms, the two of them retreating into the car, Marie keeping an eye on Callie to make certain that she would stay in the passenger's seat, and started driving off despite the car's state.

After that odd encounter, Maria had stopped crying, staring up at the sky hopefully. Splin and Sharq looked over to the other three squids, Ari already beginning to tread away, hands stuck in his Varsity Jacket's pockets sourly, Zip and Willie waving their goodbyes, following the teen back to their restaurant.

"...What now?" Sharq asked, looking around.

"I… suppose we go home." Splin said, looking away from Inkopolis, up at the hills. "Now that I think about it, we weren't really useful this time around."

"Yep, we just kinda stood by. Not really sure why I brought weapons…" Sharq said disappointedly, staring down at his Mini-Splatling.

"I'd rather you bring weapons and stay behind cover…" Maria spoke up, smiling slightly. "Rather than get hacked into pieces, you two. Thanks for what you've done for us."

"You're welcome, I guess." Sharq said, smiling.

"Shall we, then?" Splin asked, gesturing to the hills.

All three of them, minding the broken pieces of asphalt and cement surrounding them, swithced into squid form, and Super Jumped away, their tentacles flailing in the wind, leaving the wrecked city of Inkopolis behind, pieces of building falling down and shattering.

* * *

AN: Well that was certainly one heck of a crossover arc, wouldn't you say? Don't worry about Inkopolis, I'll use the powers of deus ex machina and plot convenience to fix it up by next chapter. Hey, thanks again for sticking with this story, I know that Splat X isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I want to thank everyone who's stuck by my weird story for so long.

Aside from that, let's play a little guessing game. What begins with an "r" and ends with a "w"? Row, raw, Rem with the m upside down. Also reviews. Thanks to Dread Angel, OctoInkling75, and qwertyzuiopas701 for reviewing! Thanks for trying so hard to bring pineapples justice, Dread, don't worry, I'll see what I can do this Naughty vs. Nice Splatfest! OctoInkling75, thanks again so much for understanding, Aqua's just such a nice character to write. And qwertyzuiopas701, glad to hear you enjoyed Ari getting knocked down with a spoon! I'll see if they can get a break next chapter, they deserve it. Anyways, thanks so much to everyone again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, lemme see how I'm going to make my character look once I get Xenoblade Chronicles X this holiday season… Oh, and the Squidmas chapter! See you, study up for finals if you have 'em!


	39. Splin's Snowy Shopping Spree

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Snowed Out**

Squidmas. Though it has a different name than the regular tradition many outside Inkopolis are used to, the principle remains the same: Giving gifts to family, friends, and others for the sake of being generous, receive gifts from caring others, and maybe to keep those annoying relatives off your back for another year. Also, holiday food.

Festive red and green lights decked the halls, porches, even the roofs of the homes in Inkopolis, as well as multiple shopping districts and office buildings. Clever Inkling decorators covered their homes with ink, illuminated in various amplified colors with help from said festive lights. Snow fell slowly and quietly onto the city, multiple Inklings bundled up to prevent injury via melting ice, though surprisingly, they didn't stop many of them from playing in it, squids decorating the snow with colorful ink, jellyfish sledding by, the sea life embracing the snowy ground, flounder fish flopping happily in the slush. The older sea creatures, while the young spirited froliced in the frozen turf, emptied their savings into spending for gifts for their young kin, whimpers of misery came from some of the less stocked with money, mentally debating on whether they should or shouldn't.

* * *

This is the predicament we find Splin currently in, Splin sitting at home on his bed, Maria presumably no longer in the house presumably to do an errand. Instead of his usual apparel, Splin donned a Forge Inkling Parka over his t-shirt and Snowy Down Boots, equipped to brave the chill of winter, though he still wore his Designer Headphones as always, wrapped comfortably around his neck. Splin peered into his wallet, reaching inside, reaching for any quantities of cash. He sighed, turning the wallet upside down, dumping the contents of the wallet onto his bed. A few golden coins dropped out, as well as a few plumes of dust.

Splin put a hand on his chin in worry. "...Figures, all those repairs would drain money quickly."

"Splin!" Sharq greeted him, giving his brother a quick hug. "Merry Squidmas, bro!"

Sharq's apparrel was altered somewhat as well, still donning his Takoroka Mesh per the norm, though he switched out his normal shirt and shoes, his shirt worn underneath an Olive Ski Jacket, and… Green Rain Boots.

"The boots are for extra protection against slush!" Sharq exclaimed proudly.

Splin smiled, returning the hug slightly. "Merry Squidmas, bro. Finished writing your letter to Father Squidmas yet?"

Sharq grinned, switching to squid form, retreating underneath his bed. He slid back out, a sheet of paper held in his tentacles.

"Your holiday spirit never seems to fade." Splin remarked.

Sharq handed the letter over to Splin. "This year, I'm going plain and simple, you can never go wrong with this!"

Splin raised an eyebrow. "May I?"

Sharq nodded excitedly. Splin shrugged, taking the letter out and reading it.

Splin scanned the letter, reading it with a hint of surprise.

 _Dear Splin, could you get me that level building game I've wanted? I know you said you wouldn't buy it for me that one time I accidentally unleashed a terrifying, monsterous Tele-Cube on Inkopolis. I hope I spelt "monstrous" right. Father Squidmas isn't going to because… You know. Please? Just this Squidmas? I promise I'll_ _ **try**_ _not to release destruction upon Inkopolis again. -Sharq_

"Um." Splin mumbled, looking over the letter again.

"How about it?" Sharq asked excitedly.

"...You sure you don't wanna ask him?" Splin asked Sharq, glancing up at the ceiling.

Sharq scoffed. "Of course not!" Sharq rolled his eyes, gesturing towards the chimney in their house barely mentioned in this story. "Everyone knows Father Squidmas only delivers to younger squids."

"He's right, you know!" A voice from up on the roof stated, the sounds of fins scuttling away with a hearty laugh following.

"Wait, what?! Hold on, Father Squidmas, don't bail on me! ...Darn." Splin sighed.

"Sooo… How about it?" Sharq asked, a happy expression smack dab on his face, staring at Splin longingly.

Splin sighed, looking back to his wallet. He stared longingly at the wallet, then back to Sharq, a delighted smile on his face. Splin sighed mentally, grinning with what appeared to be no worries.

"...Anything for my brother." Splin said.

"Yay! Thanks Splin!" Sharq said, embracing his brother, happily hopping away as a squid to his bed, dancing around on top of it.

Splin continued grinning, walking out the doors of the house, swiftly yet carefully closing the set of doors behind him, and dropped to the grass outside, groaning.

"Why can't I seem to catch a break?" Splin said, hands clutching the ground beneath him, frost touching his palms, sending slight shivers up his arms. "Darn it Sharq…"

The inability to catch a break is a foul on my part, sorry. I'll make sure you take it easy after this one, Splin, don't sweat it! Mostly because if you sweat it'll probably freeze.

Splin sighed, shrinking into the cold grass as a squid, and Super Jumped out quickly, ink blasting off the hill into the skies behind him, the younger yet somewhat responsible squid heading towards the city of Inkopolis in hope of procuring a gift for his older but childish brother.

* * *

Now, under normal circumstances, Splin might've nailed this leap of faith, his landing in the plaza possibly be graceful, a solid landing on his feet. Considering the amount of frost coating the ground below however, it isn't a surprise that Splin, upon landing, began to slip and fall on the ice, sliding involuntarily away, hitting a vending machine close to the Inkopolis Tower with a thud, hot, chocolate beverages from the machine falling down with a clunk.

Splin got up, almost tripping over the ice on the ground, holding the machine for support. He looked over at the machine, eyebrow raised, then reached inside, a can of hot chocolate conveniently dispensed for him. Splin grinned, popping the top open, taking a sip from the drink, wiping away brown froth that remained on his face after the delectable drink.

"Looks like things are starting to go my way." Splin said with a smirk.

Unfortunately for him, it wasn't, for a freezing Judd nearby scratching the ice with his paws as he tried to run across accidentally rammed into the brother, the hot chocolate spilling onto his face, now feeling scalding. Splin yelped, then tripped, slamming onto the ice harshly, groaning afterwards.

"Me-OWCH! (Yowch! Sorry Splin, late for a Turf War judging!)" Judd said as he scampered by, leaving a squid kid lying facedown in the slush, the combination of melted water and melted chocolate nearly melting his face off.

Splin groaned, bubbles from the liquids spilled on the ground rising from where his face landed in the snow.

* * *

Splin, now walking around with a slightly scalded, though rapidly fading injury on his face, trudged through the city, minding various young squids sliding around in the ice, each snickering or suppressing laughter at the burns on his face, much to Splin's discontent.

"..."

Sorry.

Splin sighed, wiping his face as if to comfort the burnt area, the redness from the pain easing away in seconds, because let's face it, Inkling regeneration really is that magical. He looked around, stores surrounding the brother covered in mostly ice, as well as closed signs around the windows. He looked from window to window, a frown present on his face as he looked at the closed signs seemingly decorating multiple stores just as much as the festive lights.

"Argh, I knew I should've asked him for his letter earlier." Splin grumbled. "There's gotta be at least one store open..."

Splin stared down at his pants, then reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. "And of course I'm still low on funds. Add that to my Squidmas list of headaches."

"Tell me about it."

Splin turned around, spying a certain female, rival squad member lying against a building wall.

"...Sari?" He asked uncertainly, unsure if he got the squad member's name right.

Sari nodded back, her apparel slightly altered as well, though her headband with the name, "Ari" written in Inkling was still wrapped around her forehead, wrapped around her tentacles as well. She had on a Black LS shirt and a pair of Choco Clogs, the shoes clogged with snow already, not bothering Sari in the slightest.

"Yup. Out shopping for a loved one, too?" She asked calmly.

Splin sighed. "Uh huh, Sharq asked me himself to buy a video game for him."

"Instead of asking Father Squidmas? Yikes." Sari commented.

"So, are you shopping for Ari by any chance?" Splin asked.

Sari rolled her eyes, flicking the headband on her head somewhat. "Of course, man. It's a pain in the rump, but hey, I can't say no to my favorite cousin."

"Tell me about it." Splin said. "What are you looking for?"

"Well…" Sari cleared her throat, and reached for one of her longer head tentacles, a scroll of sorts attached to it.

Sari unwound the scroll, letting it fall to the ground, a long list of wishes written in permanent ink bounding across the sidewalk, the list stretching to about two skyscrapers' lengths combined. Splin would've sweat in response, but keeping in mind the outside temperature, he just pat down the small tentacles wrapped on the back of his head.

"...Wow." Splin said, looking at the list.

"Now if you'll excuse me…" Sari said with a sigh, rewrapping the long scroll, snow being forced out of the way by the paper. "I need to find a, 'hot babe' for Ari to call his, apparently. Good luck!"

Sari waved, running with the scroll attached to her tentacle, Splin waving back. Splin turned around, and began walking along, kicking away slush. Just then, he had an idea, a shivering Zapfish shining over his head for a moment, then fell to the ground with a clink. Splin turned around, noticing the visual gag, and carefully picked it up and deposited it into his pockets, running away.

* * *

Splin now stood at the middle of Arowana Mall, the stage having been recently closed for the holidays. Despite the lack of battlers, the mall was absolutely festive and full of energy, sea life walking about, checking stores and kiosks in hopes that they could find suitable gift buying locations this holiday season. The normally filled to the brim with water pit was frozen over, jellyfish skating across gently, Inklings in humanoid forms stumbling and falling, yet still with smiles despite their follies.

Splin slid down the skate ramp leading to and from the middle, searching through glass windows, hoping to see a video game retailer somewhere. Walking through the stage, heading inside the mall itself through an open door, he entered an expansive indoor area, walkways and multiple levels leading through a comfortable labyrinth of stores and food courts. Splin walked through, spotting a video game store nearby, the sign on the front shining brightly, a hopeful "OPEN" glowing.

"Yes! Finally!" Splin said, taking a step towards the store.

"Hey guys! GameShark's having a sale on consoles and games!" Someone shouted.

Splin's eye twitched for a second. After that momentary twitch, a stampede of sea creatures nearly pulverized Splin, the crowd advancing on the GameShark, employees inside bravely dishing out deals and consoles to the customers.

"Gah!"

Splin laid facedown on the ground, lots of shoe marks and stings from jellyfish tentacles covering his body. He lifted his head from the ground, switching to squid form, attempting to crawl over to the store, when a little squid slid over him, her parents trampling over the poor, abused brother to catch up with the little squid, Splin sighing in response, letting his tentacles lay slack.

* * *

After that completely horrible holiday shopping experience, Splin was left sitting in the Inkopolis Plaza, resting his head against the same vending machine he landed next to earlier. By now, he had grown accustomed to the painful abuse, having bandaged himself up in miniature bandages all over his body.

"Hhaaah…" Splin let out a long sigh, pushing himself back against the vending machine more. "Aren't holidays supposed to be relaxing?"

Technically, you don't have school or a job, so…

"So?!" Splin cried out. "I've been walking all across Inkopolis just looking for a video game, and look what it gets me!" Splin yelled, gesturing towards his bruised arms. Splin huffed, crossing said arms, slumping by the vending machine tiredly.

"Splin? Are you okay?" A distinct motherly voice asked, Maria standing tall above the younger squid, wrapped in a warm coat.

"Hi Maria…" Splin greeted her, crestfallen.

"What's wrong?" Maria asked, sitting by Splin.

"I've been looking everywhere, Maria," Splin began, "For a video game for Sharq. It hasn't been…too successful." Splin said, carefully placing his hand on a part of his face carefully wrapped with a bandage.

"I can tell." Maria commented. "What video game would that be?"

"...I ALSO FORGOT THE NAME OF THE GAME." Splin cried out, gripping his head, slamming it on the vending machine with a groan.

"Well, if it helps, would it happen to be a level making game…?" Maria asked.

"...Yes, actually." Splin asked.

Maria smiled. "Oh, well it just so happens…"

Convenient to Splin and the plot.

"That I happen to have one right here!" Maria said, pulling out a small game case.

Splin's mouth shot open, completely in disbelief. "What?! Where'd you get that from?!"

* * *

Maria hummed to herself, walking inside of a mall, looking around the shops.

Always the attractor of attention, an Inkling man nearby, red-orange tentacles glistening menacingly, dressed in a biker's jacket and biker's boots, holding a small bag, grinned at Maria. "Heyyy gir-"

"I'm married." Maria said, flashing a ring on one of her fingers.

"Even better." The Inkling man said, attempting to hit on her.

Maria rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Hmph, for such a cute, little, innocent universe filled with some cute, little, innocent people, there sure seem to be a lot of scumbags. Look, buddy-"

"You can call me-" The Inkling man stood up close to the Inkling mother. "Ares."

"Like the god of war?" Maria asked, backing up slightly.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say babe. Hey, what do you say after I get this present for a dopey kid of mine, we'll hit the town?" Ares grinned.

"Bad at talking to ladies, and apparently a bad parent as well." Maria remarked, looking away, only for Ares to step back in her field of view.

"Heh, I'll even throw in this game I stole." Ares said, holding out a game with one hand, gripping Maria's shoulder with his other.

He was immediately thrown across the mall, slamming into a wall, falling down onto the polished floor with a thud. Those standing by flinched, Inkling heads turning to where Maria was, greeted with a warm, innocent smile from Maria, who now held the video game in her hands. She looked at the surrounding Inklings, nodded with a friendly wave, and took off, leaving the mall.

* * *

Maria frowned at the memory, Splin sitting by confused.

It's a flashback, Splin.

Splin "aahed" in understanding.

"Yes. Long story short, I managed to find this," Maria said with a smile, raising the game up. "And decided, 'Hey, the boys might like this.' Looks like I'm not wrong."

"That's- That's amazing!" Splin said, looking over the game. "Um, Maria, I hate to ask you this, but is it okay if I give that to Sharq as a Squidmas present?"

Maria nodded, handing the game over to Splin. "Certainly Splin! I didn't really have much use for it in the first place, go ahead!"

"Thank you so much!" Splin cried out in joy, small, glad tears forming in his eyes, Splin taking the game with several bows of respect to the elder squid.

Maria smiled, ruffling the small tentacles on Splin's head, minding his headphones. "You're welcome. You better head on home quickly if you want to give it to him though!"

"I will, thanks!" Splin said, waving goodbye to the squid mom, shifting into squid form, Super Jumping away, swirling throughout the snow drifting towards the ground, sending the white flakes spinning as they gently descended.

* * *

Splin landed on a snowy patch of grass, shaking off the winter terrain, rushing towards the house. Splin opened the doors quietly, peering into the house, noticing a content Sharq playing with a Splatendo Wii U Gamepad, his eyes fixed determinedly on the screen. Splin cleared his throat, getting Sharq's attention.

"...Merry Squidmas, Sharq." Splin announced, opening up the game case.

A shattered disc fell out, fragments of the disc littering the floor. The two stood in silence, each glaring at the disc angrily.

Okay, you know what, this has had enough dumb plot conveniences, but you two really deserve a break, so here-

A video game case almost identical to the one Splin held in his hands dropped onto the floor, in front of the two brothers.

Merry Chr- Merry Squidmas, you two.

"...Cod bless you, voice." Splin said, falling to the floor in relief.

"Hooray!" Sharq said, picking up the game. "Thanks, guys!"

"No skin off my tentacles, Sharq." Splin said with a smile, though on the inside he was seething with anger.

Maria soon arrived, entering through the house doors, shivering slightly.

"Whoo. It's chilly out there." She said, rubbing her short head tentacles. "Ah! Splin, Sharq, how are you?"

"Great, Maria! Look at what Splin got me!" Sharq said, showing the video game cover to Maria.

"I see. How nice of you, Splin." Maria said, winking to the younger brother, who winked back.

"How about it, Splin? You wanna play a level I make later?" Sharq asked, raising the Gamepad up to his face.

"Sharq, that's your Squidmas present. You can't use it until Squidmas." Splin explained.

Sharq paused for a moment, looking down at the game.

"...Darn it! You're right!" Sharq exclaimed.

The other two Inklings laughed, their laughs echoing out the house and across the hills as snow fell on the house's roof and the hills below. Until a knock at their door stopped what was supposed to be the end of this chapter.

"Huh?" Splin looked over at the set of doors, then walked towards them, gingerly opening them up, when a pile of Inklings fell in from the cold into the warmth of the house.

"Aha! Told you I could find where they live!" Ari declared proudly, standing up, brushing off snow, his female squadron standing up next to him, doing the same.

"Wha?" Splin murmured in confusion.

"Oh, hey Splin." Zip greeted him, walking in. "Sorry for barging in on you, Ari, for whatever, kept begging us to follow him up here."

"I invited you to!" Ari shouted.

"Nice digs, Music Man!" Willie commented, looking around, his eyes landing on Maria. "Is that your mom? Hi, Miss…"

"Maria." Maria introduced herself. "I'm not his mother, just a friend."

"Ah, okay, gotcha Miss Maria!" Willie said.

"Uh, what brought this visit up Ari?" Splin asked the teenager standing by.

Ari grimaced, looking down at the floor.

* * *

"Here's your gift, bub. Merry Squidmas and all that squit." Ares grumbled, taking a small bag and tossing it towards an orange tentacled Inkling, who simply looked away in disgust.

"Take something from you? Disgusting. I'd rather stoop down to pleb levels than yours." Ari said, walking away.

"Hey! Be appreciative, I had a lot of trouble walking home after that squitch hit me!" Ares shouted at the teenager.

"About time." Ari glared.

"Excuse me?! Is that how you speak to your father? Cod, if your mother was here-"

"Her disappearance was your fault and your fault alone!" Ari screamed.

"Rrr!"

Ares raised a hand to punch Ari, who stood his ground, about to slam his fist down on the younger Inkling, but was quickly stopped by a squad of females standing in his way.

"Sari! Whoever the shell you two are, get outta my way!" Ares growled in an attempt to scatter the squad, but to no avail.

"Uncle, with all due respect," Sari began, pretending to care, staring at Ares intensely. "Back off right now, before anyone gets hurt."

Ares burst into a mocking laughter. "Ha! You three? Against me?"

"All of us." Ari growled, walking in front of the three, taking a rebellious pose.

Ares squinted at the younger squids, then growled, walking away, attempting to look menacingly.

"Whatever." Ares muttered, stalking away.

Ari grinned, and turned to his squad. "Spectacular work! You showed him a thing or two!"

"Anything for our leader!" Sari, Rit, and Bas exclaimed in unison, saluting him.

Ari nodded, heroically turning away. _"Someday mother, I'll make you proud, and avenge our family name from that monster!"_

* * *

"...Family issues." Ari said.

Splin looked at him unconvinced, but sighed, beckoning the other Inklings to come inside. The others smiled, all running inside of the house, Splin sitting by with a sigh. Everyone else seemed delighted with the aspect of freeloading into someone else's home, Splin simply taking a seat on his bed, kicking back.

"...Happy holidays, I suppose." Splin said.

* * *

AN: Thanks for reading, a bit of backstory for Ari there. Merry Winter Break, can I just say for all those out of school or work if you are! This is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to hang up stockings! Merry Christmas… Or Smissmas… Or Squidmas… Whichever holiday you celebrate!


	40. The Brothers and the Crying Grass

_**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**_

 **Not Quite Melted Yet**

By this time, Splin was used to unexpected visitors and guests at this point, whether from this world or another dimension. The one thing he wasn't used to was waking up to a houseful of squids sleeping around on several mattresses. Okay, he still had trouble grasping the true reality of his world and the odd occurrences, but philosophy in a Splatoon story makes very little sense.

Back to the point, Ari and his squadron somehow managed to fit all four of them in one mattress up on the kitchen counter, Willie and Zip were cuddled up by the staircase, and Maria was wrapped up in a blanket by the television. They all stirred in their sleep very slightly; they shivered occasionally.

Splin stared at the scene, sitting up in his bed, when suddenly a gut wrenching feeling gripped him, sending chills through his body better than the snow outside ever could've done.

"Is that-" Splin stared at the mattress Ari and his squadron were squished comfortably onto, a name-tag reading, "Tai" poking out from the bottom.

Splin didn't realize it, but he was silently crying for the goodwill of Ari, who had no idea what he had just gotten himself into, blue tears dripping down his face, a fearful expression on his face.

* * *

As to be expected from the Octoling, Tai perked up suddenly from inside the Octarian HQ, frowning, taking her Octoling Goggles from her face, letting them fall to her neck, Tai squinting her eyes, looking up towards the ceiling.

"...That's weird." Tai said, raising a hand to her chest, closing her eyes.

"Eh?" Chi asked nearby, eyebrow raised.

"I gotta, um...do in someone." Tai said then paused right after her sentence. Chi gave Tai a strange look, to which she replied with a shake of her hands, "Oops, hold on, that's not what I-"

* * *

-You Missed the Tech-nical Difficulties-

* * *

"I gotta, um...do something." Tai said, standing up. She headed outside, walked towards a kettle installed on the nearest wall.

She approached the grates of the kettle, then switched into a violet octopus and leaped in, the kettle whistled as Tai slid through in octopus form.

Chi stared at the kettle exit, biting her lip nervously. "...Someone's gonna die, aren't they?"

* * *

Splin gulped, walking out of his bed towards the counter carefully. The wooden floor made creaks beneath his shoes.

"Shh!" He shushed towards the floor.

It made no reply, and continued to make noise as he walked.

Arriving at the kitchen, he looked around, then quickly reached over to tap the snoozing Ari on the shoulders to warn him of the impending Octarian menance, a somewhat quiet crash sounding from behind him. Splin flinched, then turned around nervously, becoming crestfallen once he realized Tai was standing in the middle of the house, snow from the roof dripping down from the hole in the ceiling she entered through, her eyes gleamed with the intent to kill.

"Splin, why is what's-his-name...Ari," She asked slowly, "I dunno, doing on my bed?" Tai asked, exposing her Octoling teeth, grimacing terribly.

"Sorry, sorry! I-It's just a bit of an oversight, you see, he was having family pro-"

Tai marched over to the kitchen counter, eyeing Ari, Sari, Rit, and Bas suspiciously. She looked around the house, noticing Willie and Zip as well, frowning.

"...You can't be serious." Tai sighed, covering her eyes, "Dude, this is like, my safe haven. You've ruined it."

"Sorry! ...They just wanted to visit us, I don't recall what happened after that, I fell asleep." Splin admitted honestly.

Tai frowned at the younger brother, then shook her head in response. "At least you brought the Inklings least likely to massacre me. They know anything about, well, anything?"

"Not really," Splin told her, "I'm pretty sure they think of us as just regular Inklings who they see from time to time, nothing too spectacular like dimension travelers or giant robot tamers, or something along those lines. Though I'm pretty sure they thought we fought a Metal Gear."

"Good." Tai said firmly. "...Wait, a Metal Gear?"

"Basically a giant death machine like the Skell." Splin stated.

"Oh, cool! Record it for me to see next time." Tai said, Splin deadpanning at her nonchalant/borderline fangirlish thoughts on the death machine.

She suddenly noticed Ari stirring a little in his sleep, rubbing his cheek on her mattress, Tai fuming silently in response. Nevertheless, she didn't protest, taking a deep breath, and instead stealing Splin's bed from him, jumping onto his bed, ducking under the covers, wrapping herself up.

"Hey!" Splin said.

"If I can't sleep in my own bed, I'm sleeping in yours." Tai said simply, hugging the blanket and the pillows.

Splin frowned. "You wouldn't want to snooze in there, it uh…has my smell all over it! Just completely abhorrent, believe me."

Tai didn't seem to care whatsoever, the only thing it seemed to make her do was relax more into the sheets, snuggling her face into his pillow.

"I'll take my chances~" Tai called out, covering her face with a blanket.

"...This Squidmas, I get beaten up trying to buy a present, and an Octoling steals my bed. Happy holidays indeed." Splin sighed after his sarcastic remark.

Splin walked towards the stairs, heading underneath, opening a door. Underneath the stairs, he now stood in a tiny room, a sink and porcelain throne sitting in walls opposite to each other. Walking over to the sink, he turned on the faucet, letting water pour down from the pipes. Splin took in a handful of water, ignoring the very mild burning sensation, and splashed the water in his face, waking himself up just a little more. Leaving the bathroom quickly, he looked around his house, moving towards the kitchen stove and refrigerator. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a bowl of batter nonchalantly, placing the bowl on the counter, starting up the waffle maker on the kitchen counter Ari wasn't sleeping on. Taking a spoon nearby, he dipped the utensil into the batter mix, pouring some of the batter onto the small grill in the waffle maker, letting the fluffy food bake. Immediately in doing so, he heard the sounds of feet shuffling quickly towards the kitchen. Splin braced himself, turning around towards the counter Ari was sleeping on.

"Good morning, everyone." Splin greeted the captive audience of squids.

"Good morning Splin."

"What's on the menu, Splin?"

"Cooking food for me? Truly, you are one of the greatest rivals!"

"Hey bro, save some for me!"

Splin deadpanned at the assortment of squid kids, teenagers, and adult that gathered around the kitchen counter, Ari pushing the mattress off the counter, all of them staring intently at the spoon Splin had used to pour in the batter. Splin rolled his eyes, taking the bowl and pouring the entirety of it into the waffle maker, closing the waffle maker with a satisfying hiss, delectable smells whisking into the air.

"It'll be done soon." Splin promised, the squids nodding in affirmation, all eyeing the tanned ooze leaking out of the waffle maker.

Splin walked over to his bed, about to lie down, when he halted in the middle of slumping down on the bed, eyes wide. In the air, he scooted a little to the right, slamming onto the floor next to where Tai was sleeping. On the floor, he sighed in relief, knowing that he had dodged quite the ink bullet.

"Phew, that was a close one." Splin said, wiping his brow, accidentally smacking Tai underneath the covers with his hand. "Oh ship."

A red, violet tentacle extended from the sheets, grasping Splin by the neck, pulling his head underneath the covers. Tai glared at Splin, her purple pupils piercing through the brother menacingly, Splin's own pupils dilating in fear. Suddenly, Tai smirked, closing the top halves of her eyelids somewhat.

"Save it, maybe when you're older, you're a little young for my tastes." Tai said, with a vicious smirk.

Splin's eye twitched. "Wha- OH, now that's just uncalled for."

"You know it, Splinny boy!" Tai said with a laugh, pushing Splin out of his own bed, patting him on the head as he left.

"...Octopus." Splin sighed, rubbing his neck, eyes lighting up in realization. "Could you at least give me my headphones back, please?"

Tai tossed Splin's headphones out, Splin catching them with ease, wearing them over his head, placing them close to his tentacles wrapped neatly on his head. He turned around to the other squids, who were too busy eating waffle stacks to hear any of what had just happened.

"Huh." Splin muttered. "Well, Tai, I think now's a good time as ever to get you out of-"

"Zzzz…" Was Tai's response.

"Really?!" Splin groaned.

Splin, carefully glancing back at the others, picked up Tai, still bundled up in blanket sheets, and sneaked outside, unwrapping the blanket, a now shivering and disappointed looking Octoling rolling out of the bundle of covers.

"Tai, come on." Splin said. "A new Splatfest is over, too, that gives us a nice opportunity to get you home. Come on, you can sleep when we get you home."

"Fine." Tai rolled her eyes. "But you guys seriously need to invest in mattresses once I get back."

"Alright. ...Oh wait, what will we get you there in…?" Splin wondered aloud.

"Hey guys!" Sharq called out, walking out the doors. "Wanna come inside? There's still a couple waffles left!"

Tai stared at Sharq, Sharq tilting his head in confusion, an innocent smile on his face. Tai tilted her own head at the other Inklings inside, whom Sharq looked back at, then back to Tai.

"..." Sharq stood in silence. "...So is that a no…?"

Splin sighed, and reached at Tai's neck, pulling her Octoling Goggles over her face.

"Oh, right!" Sharq said. "Sorry, I forgot."

"Huh… Hey, don't wanna alert you or anything, but I think your grass is starting to die…or cry?" Tai said, wiping wet frost off the terrain below her feet.

"Don't you mean, 'snow'?" Sharq said.

Tai blinked, wiping off some of the white grass. "Ah, THIS is snow? Hmm, from Octavio's description of it, I expected it to be more…fresh, or something. Always said it was, 'The coolest'. Didn't think he'd mean it literally." Tai stood up, taking her goggles off. "So, wanna get moving?"

"Hold on, there's something I need to do first!" Sharq said, leaping back into the house via the window in squid form through the still shattered window pane.

Sharq stood up in humanoid form as soon as he made it inside, clearing his throat.

"Thanks for coming, guys, but we need to get moving! We have a busy day today, so um, could you please get out of the house?"

The other squids paused their breakfast, staring at Sharq and his odd sense of manners, all shrugging, taking plates with waffles on top of them.

"Sure, see you Sharq." Zip said with a smile, leaving the house, Willie following behind her, grinning at Sharq.

"Later Shady!" Willie shouted.

Splin and Tai cringed at the sudden departure, both sneaking behind the house as the other squids began leaving.

"Splendid waffles, rival! Until we meet again!" Ari said with a grin, dashing away.

"Thanks for having us over, I know Ari's not exactly the most...agreeable most of the time, but thanks for having us anyways. Girls?" Sari said, Rit and Bas nodding in agreement with her, the three leaving to catch up with their leader immediately.

"Well, I'd say that your guests had fun." Maria commented, stretching her arms with a yawn.

"Not all of them!" Tai shouted with a grin, busting through the doors of the house, leaping towards a pile of waffles with now care in the world, the mound of breakfast shrinking before their eyes.

"...That girl gives Rem a run for her money when it comes to speed eating." Maria remarked, turning to Sharq, and to that extent, Splin leaving the cover of his house, looking up to Maria. "So, what are you two doing today?"

"Not much, I though of escorting Tai home, maybe doing some errands and Turf Wars to earn money." Splin explained, Maria nodding in confirmation.

" _Although, with the others gone, there really isn't a problem with her staying."_ Splin thought.

"Sounds good." Maria said, an octopus flying out the window with a waffle in her mouth as she was speaking.

"Wat ar' we waing fo', les go!" Tai mumbled, the waffle still lodged between her beak.

"Sure. Sharq?" Splin said, Sharq lifting his cap. Tai hopped on Sharq's head, still munching on the food, Sharq closing the cap down on his head.

"I'm ready! Maria, you wanna come?" Sharq asked.

Maria waved politely. "No thanks, I think I'll just go for a walk in the park or something. See you later!"

Sharq nodded, switching into squid form, Tai clutching the top of his head with her tentacles, looking like a short totem pole of cephalopods. Splin also transformed into a squid, the frost tickling his tentacles somewhat. The two brothers jetted off into the stratosphere, Tai hurdling close by, winking clouds out of her eye, closing in on the plaza quickly.

* * *

Sharq reverted to humanoid form midair, lifting his hat, Tai gripping onto his head midair. That may have been cool for a moment, but landing face down in the snow certainly wasn't, Splin following his brother's lead soon after. The two stood up, shaking the snow off their faces, and looked straight ahead. The trucks for the recent Splatfest had been moved away, and the plaza was generally very clear aside from shopkeepers in the Booyah Base and the occasional jellyfish.

"This is going to be easier than I thought." Sharq said, smiling.

The two began walking towards the manhole cover.

"Hey Tai, I've been meaning to ask you, what did they ever do with the Skell?" Splin asked.

"Oh, the Skell? We, um..."

* * *

The Octarians all hefted a huge, downed battle robot back inside the hole it made in the hangar of the Octarian base, all grunting with effort. Once they were sure every piece of it was inside, they laid the mech on the floor, all cheering at their accomplishment. Just then, the Skell's eye glowed blue, and the Skell began to lift off, flying away, making an even bigger hole in the wall. Each Octarian practically gave up there, Octotroopers and Octolings alike falling to the ground in exasperation.

* * *

"We're... running tests on it." Tai said.

"Ah." Splin nodded.

Upon reaching the manhole cover, the Inklings checked around to make sure no one was watching, which, fortunately, just so happened to be the case. They lifted the manhole cover and dropped down, Tai quickly shifting to Octoling form and taking the manhole cover, placing it back on the hole with hardly a sound.

Sliding through the manhole, the Inkling brothers made it to Octo Valley, Tai cautiously peeking her head out of the manhole just in case Cap'n Cuttlefish was around. Tai left the pipe first, heading towards the kettle, Splin and Sharq following behind. Once at the kettle entrance, Tai looked over at the brothers, yawning quietly.

"Aaaah… Well, thanks for the waffles guys, but I think I'm going to get some shuteye. See ya!" Tai said, stepping into the kettle, when suddenly Jerry the Octocopter flew out, his propellor quickly lifting him out of the kettle.

"Tai! Thank goodness you're here, we're having a meeting right now, Aussie wants Splin and Sharq over here right now!" Jerry said, then noticed the Inkling brothers. "Oh, that was fast."

Tai stomped her foot on the ground, clenching her right fist angrily. She crossed her arms, eyes closed in anger.

"...What does Auss want?" Tai asked.

* * *

"Now, this operation will require lots of patience, time and effort are the keys here. Under no circumstances are we to let this go with a blind eye. Everyone understand?"

"ZZZZZZZZZZ." Tai snores loudly, everyone in the room facepalming at the same time, sounding like a clap of thunder.

The brothers, Tai, and Jerry were seated at the table in the briefing room of the Octarian HQ, Tai drooling on the table as she slept. Aussie and Chi attended as well, Chi keeping tabs on her sleeping superior, while Aussie looked very upset with Tai's usual laziness. The large shard embedded in the table still remained, though it was now decorated with festive red and green lights wrapped around it, much to Sharq's delight.

"T-41!" Aussie shouted, her blackish tentacles curling up. "Pay attention!"

"Meh, maybe later Auss." Tai muttered.

"Someone needs to fix that coffee pot soon." Jerry whispered.

"Or maybe Tai needs to stop training late at night." Chi said, Jerry nodding in agreement.

"This is extremely important, our safety as a race depends on it!" Aussie exclaimed, laying one hand down on the table with a slam. "Do you WANT us to become extinct?!"

"If it's that problematic, why don't **you** go and mate with someone if you're so anxious to keep us alive." Tai said with a grin, laying her face down on the desk, going back to sawing logs.

"..." Aussie glared at Tai, then sighed, turning to the Inkling brothers. "At least you two are listening."

Sharq didn't reply, still staring at the shard stuck in the table covered in pretty lights, hands on his cheeks, eyes sparkling in wonder.

"In Tai's defense, you haven't exactly told us what we're going up against here." Splin said.

Aussie sighed, her tentacles relaxing, adjusting her goggles. "Apologies, you're right."

Aussie then took out a large scroll from behind her, laying it flat around the table. Once laid out, the scroll was revealed to be a large map of Octo Valley, painstakingly detailed from a bird's eye view.

"Recent reports from our scouts detail a large decrease in temperature around the entrance and exit to Octo Valley. That's normal this time of year, but one thing we've noticed is that in this area specifically-"

Aussie pointed to an area on the map that was crossed out.

"It's… unusually warm." Aussie said. "At first, we thought it was the Skell… testing weapons, but the heat signature is off, and the heat remains consistent in a large perimeter compared to the Skell's thrusters or weapons shorter range. The area in question also happens to be an abandoned Octarian testing lab, like the one you paid a visit to a while ago."

"What you're saying is, there could be another Great Octoweapon out there…?" Splin asked.

"Something along those lines. We would send out troops, but Octavio keeps insisting on having parties for whatever reason." Aussie said. "Too busy to look into this officially. So, we want to ask you two, Agent A and B of… Inkopolis's agency? Who are you two working for again?"

"The agent names are just weird formalities Cap'n gave us." Splin explained.

"Ah. Well, hope you don't mind me using them." Aussie told the two. "We need you two to check and report back. Risking a rogue, active Octoweapon remaining active could spell disastrous, future results that could fracture the integrity of Octo Valley, and to an extent, Inkopolis. Understand?"

Splin nodded. "I suppose if it threatens our races, we'll have to, right?"

"Thank you." Aussie said, slumping backwards in her chair. "All day people have been telling me to, 'relax' and 'chill'. I've fairly certain half of them were awful puns too. You truly are a breath of fresh air, let me tell you."

"Thanks, I think." Splin said, standing up. "Alright Sharq, let's get moving."

"I'll catch up with you." Sharq said, waving him off, still staring at the shard.

Splin rolled his eyes, stood up, waved goodbye to the others, then left the room via kettle, dropping through, landing on the other side outside of the Octarian HQ. He looked around for a moment.

"Oh, shoot. How am I going to find the lab?" Splin asked.

He then noticed a bright, warm light emanating from a small facility, two neon signs pointing to the facility reading, "This is an Octarian Testing Lab" and, "It's warm inside".

"Okay, now that's just screwing with me." Splin said with a sigh.

Despite the glaring flaws in what was supposed to look like an abandoned testing facility, Splin made his way towards it, walking through discarded kettles along the way. Stopping directly in front of the facility after a brief walk, Splin stared up at the lab, frowning. There was a single door with a shattered window leading inside, which Splin entered, clutching the doorknob carefully, opening the door and walking inside. Splin looked around, the only things around were messy cabinets and desks. Splin walked for a while, until he spotted another door. Taking care once again, Splin carefully opened the door.

"...Whoa."

Splin stood in a small, yet spacious, hangar, rusted bay doors cracked open, small beams of what appeared to be sunlight streaming through. Multiple machines of various shapes and sizes lay rusted, unmoving, and overall, inactive. Most of them had large artificial tentacles decaying with them, spots in the tentacles ripped open, revealing a flexible, thin endoskeleton in the tentacles.

" _Odd, nothing here appears to be operational. What would cause a heat signature here, everything's dead! Nothing large seems to be making the heat signature, at least."_ Splin thought.

Splin looked around for a while, inspecting each and every machine, then shrugged, assuming that there was nothing here was worth salvaging or reporting. With a shrug, Splin walked out of the building, ready to explain that there was nothing there, when suddenly a tremor shook the ground. Never a good sign, Splin began to pick up the pace, when a giant tentacle erupted out of the ground. Splin jumped to one side, ducking, looking up at the great tentacle. An Octoweapon then burst out of the ground, the exterior looking like a deteriorating metal Great Zapfish, the artificial tentacle sprouting out of its tail like a scorpion. The Zapfish-lookalike glared at Splin, then began glowing, electricity dangerously sparking out of the machine, heating up the area around it.

Shocking.

"Gee, thanks for the pun when I can potentially die voice!" Splin yelled, running back.

You're welcome. :3

Splin ran back, the Great Zapfish-bot roaring, sending static electricity moving through the air, as well as mentally bludgeoning himself over how he somehow read a ":3" face.

* * *

Will Splin be able to defeat the Great Zapfish with literally everyone else not doing their jobs? Probably not, find out next time in the next chapter of Splat X!

...Wait, wrong outro.

* * *

AN: Okay, I think I got it. Welp, tomorrow I'm off to Arizona for the holidays, going to visit some of my tortoise cousins, you know how it is. :P Also, wow, 40 chapters of fourth wall breaking and reference making in a Splatoon story, round of applause for all you lovely people out there, none of this could've been accomplished without your support!

Aside from family holidays, let's talk reviews! Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, and qwertyzuiopas701 for reviewing! Thanks Dread, one can't go without a little strong squid mom in the morning! Ultrapyre, I'm flattered that you think my story is worthy enough to act like a Christmas gift, though I kinda have to agree with you on the plot, it isn't following any particular line at the moment, but hey, who knows? Maybe we'll see some action with Ares later on. qwertyzuiopas701, hope this was enough Tai for you. All of you seemed rather interested in Ari's past, might have to expand on that later. Anyways, thanks for watching, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to see that new Star Wars movie despite BEING SPOILED 50 TIMES ON THE INTERNET. See you when I get back from Arizona!


	41. The Brothers and the Artificial Zapfish

AN: Boring Slice of my Life: My holidays visit to Arizona was really awkward, or at least for me, my tortoise relatives got along pretty well while I sat to the side being introverted as always. Oh well. How were your guys holidays? Hope they were fun, hope you got the gifts you wanted, if not, TOO BAD. Nah just kidding I'd never wish that upon you kind viewers. Oh right, the story.

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Hot High Voltage Fight**

Splin ducked behind a smashed in building, peeking around the corner carefully. He retracted his head back quickly, an artificial bolt of lightning striking the ground close to him. He rubbed his headphones, thinking hard on a battle plan.

" _Alright, the Octarians somehow managed to engineer a Great Zapfish substitute. It's now on a rampage and shooting electricity at me. What do I do?"_ Splin asked himself silently, gulping down fear. _"Wait, I know! I'll just wait out for reinforcements, the Octarians must see this eventually, they'll assist me."_

* * *

At the Octarian HQ.

"Well, I'm too lazy to do anything." Tai stated simply, going back to sleeping.

"Normally I'd be inked off at you, but I'm wiped out from you being too wiped out to do anything." Aussie admitted.

"Hmm. Hey Sharq, your brother hasn't returned in a while, you think he's okay?" Chi asked.

Sharq still didn't reply, still staring straight at the decorated shard. "Huh? Yeah, I'm sure."

* * *

Splin didn't fully realize it, but his gut sank in realization that considering the others' tendencies, that probably wasn't the best plan. Regardless, Splin still held out, carefully peeking out of the corner again over towards the Great Zapbot.

"Uh, Zapbot?" Splin asked.

You know, because it's the Great Zapfish but a robot.

Anyways, searching for the Great Zapbot, Splin found nothing but charred patches of dirt. Splin took a test step outside of the broken building barricading him, pivoting while he walked as if to catch the Zapbot in his previously blind spots. Confused when he didn't find anything, Splin put a hand to his chin, until he felt a chilling static electrical feeling crawl up his back. Quickly turning around, he dived to the side in squid form, the Zapbot missing him by a tentacle, the Zapbot growling in response, its whiskers glowing. Splin began running in the opposite direction, his eyes wide in fright, as the Zapbot fired bursts of electricity from its whiskers like a certain pocket monster. The electricity didn't get far, but they nearly cooked Splin with each strike, one getting closer to his proximity after the other as Splin ran, a line of black scars continually being etched into the ground as he escaped. Spotting the kettle leading to the Octarian HQ, he momentarily hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea or not to enter with a deadly version of a catfish following so closely behind.

Another roar from the Zapbot quickly persuaded him that this was the best way to go, Splin leaping through the kettle as electricity surged from the mechanical monstrosity behind him, missing the squid.

* * *

Sliding through a long pipe, Splin dove through towards the base, landing in the briefing room. No one was there, except for Sharq, for whatever reason reason still staring at the Squidmas shard.

"Sharq!" Splin exclaimed, running over. "You're not going to believe this-"

Sharq blinked, his pupils shrinking. "Huh? What?"

"...Have you been staring at that all day?" Splin asked, gesturing to the well decorated ceiling piece.

"...Yeah."

Splin facepalmed. "Okay, fine, well we need to warn the others, there's a Zapbot outside and it doesn't mean well. Can you help me out with this?"

Sharq nodded, hopping off the seat he laid dormant on. "Sure! Where is it?"

The Zapbot's head burst through the ceiling, grinning mischievously, metallic teeth glimmering red and green from the light reflecting off of the festive table.

"There." Splin pointed out.

The Zapbot opened its maw, a sphere of electricity beginning to charge, when a blot of fuchsia ink caused it to halt, the Zapfish glaring in the direction of the shot.

On the table, Tai stood heroically, Octoshot aimed, a frown on her face, boots carelessly dragging dirt on the table.

"Breaking and entering is my thing, bolt bucket." She spat.

"Get OFF the table!" Aussie yelled, appearing with an Octoshot, grabbing Tai by the back of her armor and pulling her off forcefully.

"Aw, Auss come on! I'm trying to pose here!" Tai complained, reaching for the hand pulling her away.

The Zapbot stared at the scene in confusion. Then it unleashed a blast of electricity. The attack once again scorching the ground from the electricity intensity. Aussie's eyes widened, pulling back Tai harder, eliciting a bit of a gagging noise from the other Octoling as a result, the two diving away from the attack.

"Gack! Auss, you-" Tai managed to say before she was pulled back again, angrily grasping at her superior's hand.

"You two distract the Zapbot, we'll move in for the krill!" Aussie exclaimed. "...OH MY COD I JUST MADE A PUN, DIDN'T I?!"

"You're learning!" Tai said with a sarcastic, delighted tone, causing Aussie to grit her teeth irritably.

Sharq nodded, and completely ditched the robot, crawling up a kettle as a squid, his tentacles disappearing through the grates, Splin following shortly after. The Zapbot glared at the kettle, then snapped its head to the sound of gunfire. Aussie was blasting the bot with a barrage of violet ink, the ink mostly sliding off the shiny metal exterior of the Zapbot harmlessly. Aussie growled in frustration.

"Step aside Auss, lemme show you how it's done." Tai said, chucking a Splat Bomb towards the Zapbot.

The Splat Bomb hurdled towards the Zapbot, then was immediately deflected by the Zapbot turning around surprisingly quickly in the small space it was in, smacking back the Splat Bomb into Tai's face, which exploded.

Aussie stared in exasperation at Tai's failed attack attempt. "See what happens when you slack off on training?"

"...Shut up." Tai said, aiming towards the Zapbot.

All of a sudden, the Zapbot began to flap its tailfin, pushing itself out of the Octarian HQ, scattering nuts and bolts carelessly.

"Weird, why'd it leave?" Tai asked, holstering her weapon.

"...I'm not sure, when I was younger, I remember the schematics being shown to us during a briefing during the Great Turf Wars." Aussie stated, hand on her chin. "The uh…"

Zapbot.

"Zapbot, I believe…it was made as a substitute for electricity in case the power would ever cease." Aussie said.

"...Okay, then how do you explain its thirst for blood just then?" Tai asked.

"We added defenses in case Inklings ever decided to steal it...hold on…weren't you there?" Aussie asked. "All of the Octarians were called in for that day."

Tai looked up to the ceiling to reminisce.

* * *

*Scene of younger Tai sleeping yet again while a younger Aussie glares at her missing*

* * *

"Hmm. Memory's fuzzy." Tai stated, staring up at the hole. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go after it!"

"You saw what our weapons did to it, we need back-up." Aussie told her.

"What?! We need to go after it now, or it'll get away!" Tai protested.

Aussie folded her arms. "T-41, it's a small area above, the Zapbot isn't going to get far."

Sounds of crashing and Inkling yelps began outside.

"Splin and Sharq are out there getting their tentacles whipped!" Tai said, gesturing to the smashed ceiling.

"They can handle it." Aussie said with a hint of uncertainty.

Screams and zapping noises intensify in the background after she says so.

"...They have the ski-"

"Lemme stop you right there, Splin and Sharq are unarmed, aren't trained in combat arts, and are overall probably not the best you want in the field of battle if I'm going to be honest." Tai said, blowing a tentacle out of her face.

"...Alright, fine, you go outside and assist them, I'll try request help." Aussie said, running off into the base.

Tai nodded, heading up the kettle, leaving the shattered meeting room behind.

"Hey guys." Chi said with a wave, walking into the briefing room. "Sorry, wanted a quick sip of joe, what's-"

Chi stopped and looked around at the destroyed ceiling and debris-covered table, a cup of coffee steaming in her hands.

"Geez, did you guys have an argument in here again?" Chi wondered aloud, shaking her head, walking away nonchalantly.

* * *

Meanwhile, above the Octarian base:

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh!" The brothers screamed, dashing away from the Zapbot.

This apparently.

The brothers ran in a loop between sprinting in a straight line away from the Zapbot, comically large lightning bolts like that of an overemphasized drawing that a youngling would make dangerously burning up the ground, heating up the air uncomfortably with each strike.

An electrical blast soared dangerously over Sharq's head, which Sharq responded with momentarily lifting his cap and letting the bolt soar stupidly close, missing him.

"I hope someone was recording that!" Sharq said with a laugh, cut short by another barrage of attacks from the Zapbot.

"Sharq, your jokes aren't going to subdue this thing!" Splin cried out, gasping suddenly, ducking to the ground in squid form to avoid more electrical attacks.

The two ran behind yet another destroyed structure, leaning against a wall, breathing heavily.

"Did we lose it?" Sharq asked.

A demonic robot catfish face bursting out of the wall answered his question. The Zapbot grinned evilly, and would've probably made a "Here's Johnny!" reference, but frowned once it realized the only sounds it made were ear-piercing screeches.

"Ow!" The brothers cried out, clutching their ears.

The Zapbot smiled happily once it realized the screeches could incapacitate the boys for a moment, bobbing its nonexistent eyebrows up and down towards the reader. The Zapbot tackled the two, launching them into the air.

The two then landed on top of Cap'n's shack, a sharp clanging from the fall startling a Cuttlefish lying on a dusty old blue couch.

"Whazzat?! What's all the commotion out here?" Cap'n demanded, hopping up and off his couch.

Quick Mid-chapter disclaimer:

(I apologize for that cranky old person cliché, if you or a loved one have been offended in anyway shape or form, I will personally slam my head on my desk three times. If that doesn't make you feel better, then I'm sending you the bill for my medical procedure, you ungrateful squid.)

"Oohhhh…" Sharq groaned, his eyes covered by the lid of his cap.

"Ngh…" Splin grunted, sitting up on the roof.

"Agent A and B? What in the name of crabby cakes is going on?" Cap'n asked.

The Zapbot smacked Cap'n away with a swipe of a tailfin, sending him tumbling to the ground, lying dazed on the dirt.

"Ooogh, Callie, get me off this rollercoaster ride…" He muttered dizzily.

"Well that was just uncalled for." Splin remarked.

"Hey! You can't go around hitting old squids!" Sharq yelled at the bot, which grinned as if it had pulled the greatest prank in this history of the universe.

Sharq frowned, then yelled a fierce battle cry, charging at the bot, while Splin facepalmed in the background at his distinct lack for battle logic. Sharq jumped up, punching the Zapbot in the tail. All that managed to do was cause Sharq to grasp his punching hand with a pained expression.

"Oww…" Sharq groaned.

The Zapbot began charging up yet another attack, a yellow sphere of energy forming in its mouth, Sharq flinching while Splin dashed over to his brother as if to somehow shield him, when it paused suddenly, its head twitching. Splin and Sharq stared at the Zapbot cautiously when they noticed a beam of light piercing the metal skin of the robot menace. They looked up a little, their mouths gaping in awe. The Octarian Skell was brandishing a condensed beam of ink energy, some drops of extremely hot ink dripping down the sheet metal skin of the Zapbot.

"Amazing." Splin murmured.

"Hey! Catch!"

Sharq snapped in the direction of the voice, an Octoshot being tossed to the two brothers. They caught it with ease, staring at the Octoling who had lent them the arm.

"Aim for the maw!" Tai yelled.

Splin and Sharq nodded simultaneously, Splin crouching low with one eye closed, Sharq curling his hands into fists in hope.

"You have one shot at this, the Skell's having difficulty keeping the Zapbot steady!" Aussie explained, gesturing to the Skell and Zapbot shaking somewhat. "Make it count!"

Splin took a deep breath, glancing at Sharq. Sharq crouched by him, nodding, Splin turning back towards the Zapbot. With a steady hand, Splin aimed towards the gaping mouth of the Zapbot, the yellow sphere of electricity inside still remaining, and fired. The blue-violet ink shot from the Octoshot collided with the sphere of electricity, seemingly having done nothing.

"Oh no." Splin muttered, withdrawing the gun.

Luckily for him, the Zapbot closed its mouth, blinking. Its eyes began to shine for a moment, when suddenly the Zapbot exploded, a huge plume of fire and smoke rising up into the air, as well as ink droplets. The explosion pushed everyone back somewhat, each and everyone of the cephalopods shutting their eyes. As the smoke cleared, they gradually opened their eyes, opening them to quite the sight.

Lying down in the ground, mostly damaged, was the Octarian Skell and the Zapbot, both sparking out electricity, from exposed wiring.

"UNIT DAMAGED SEVERELY, MULTIPLE FUNCTIONS OFFLINE. Ow. :(" The Skell declared with a shaky, robotic voice, its eye blinking on and off.

The Zapbot wheezed, as if to share the Skell's sentiments. Or at least its disembodied head did, the rest laid discarded all around the place.

"Yeah!" Sharq cheered.

"Is anyone injured?" Aussie asked.

"REPEAT, UNIT DAMAGED SEVERELY, MULTIPLE FUNCTIONS OFFLINE. Emphasis on the, 'Ow'! :(" The Skell "said", groaning.

"I'm really beginning to regret the decision to include a semi-sentience chip." Aussie muttered, shaking her head. "Well done, Inklings. Once again, you've prevented an Octoweapon rampage. Nice work, if I had the authority I'd give you medals. Thank you."

"Each and everyone of you-"

No Soldier.

"Gnngh." A disciplined voice grumbled, sounds of shuffling in the background fading away.

"In the meantime, I'm going to notify HQ to clean this mess up."

Cap'n Cuttlefish groaned in the background.

"As well as probably tend to the Inkling elder injuries over there." Tai added.

"Again, thank you so much." Aussie said with a rare smile, turning to Tai. "T-41, let's go."

"Sure, Auss." Tai said boredly, Aussie's smile fading into a sigh and frown, who walked off. Tai turned to the brothers with a grin on her face. "Arigato again guys, heck, you managed to get Aussie to smile for once. Appreciate what you've been doing for us."

"Aw, no problem Tai!" Sharq said.

"That remains between us, I don't want the others to think I'm getting soft." Tai said. "I think I'll stay here, maybe I'll get to keep some scrap metal for something. See ya, happy holidays."

Tai waved, Splin and Sharq waving back, Tai dashing off with that final note, slinging Cap'n Cuttlefish over her back. Sharq turned to Splin with a happy but tired look, which Splin answered with a nod and baggy eyes. The two squids hopped off away from the valley, taking the manhole, and leaving the octopi to their own devices, which just so happened to be smoking heaps of broken metal.

"ERROR, WORDS DO NOT MATCH CORRECT DEFINITION. ...Wait, was that a pun? :O" The Skell chimed curiously.

You have no idea.

* * *

Actual AN: For Real: Sorry this wasn't released sooner, holiday stuff happened. Uh, so, as one turtle such as I grows up, I realize that a lot of things start happening. Not the creepy weird biologic stuff, no, I mean responsibilities. Things like having to manage new school supplies for the new year, studying for a driving exam that I'll probably fail worse than even Callie's-

* * *

"Hey!"

* * *

...And other stuff I really don't want to have to do. What does this have to do with the story? Well, with more work to do and less free time, it means less chapters being put out. Plus, the news that no new content will be added for Splatoon itself after January doesn't make me feel confident, as there's only so much I can write/make up about a single game before it gets extremely dull. I hope you'll understand those who enjoy this story, when I say:

I could be going into an extended hiatus.

It's not really a bad thing, per say, heck I'm sure all of you breathed sighs of relief or rolled their eyes expected something worse, but hey, it could happen. I'm not saying I WILL be, but judging on how things go, this could not end well. Sorry in advance. But in the meantime, I could try to brew up ideas for other stories for other games, who knows?

But thanks for reading again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to explore the vast world of Mira. Goodbye.


	42. The Brothers and the Idols' Itinerary

**Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Ideal Idol Itinerary**

"Whoo, that's it for this Splatfest, stay fresh everybody!" Callie announced to a cheering crowd from the top of a truck, or at least half of a crowd, one side grumbling and sulking in bad taste.

"We'll get them next time, team Nice, happy holidays!" Marie said with a wave, the previously sulking team members beginning to perk up.

After a Splatfest that occurred quite a while ago since this chapter was posted, the entirety of Inkopolis Plaza was once again tired out from the festivities. Red and green banners and Miiverse posts drawn on walls were gradually being removed from the area, fading away as if they were never there. The Squid Sisters lowered themselves from the trucks, leaping off into the crowd, striking a pose once they hit the ground, sending Inklings remaining into hysterical cheering.

"Callie, Marie, we love you!" A female Inkling yelled towards the popstar duo.

"Sign my [REDACTED]!" Another male Inkling screamed.

Judd quickly stowed away his sign with "[REDACTED]" written on it and scampered away, off to his pillow pillar, watching carefully.

Callie took a step back nervously, blushing somewhat. "Um…"

Marie did the same, her head tilting back. "Whoa there, she's not ready for that."

Callie swiveled her head to her cousin. "Oh come on, I'm old enough to drive, Marie!"

"Doesn't mean you're old enough to be good at it, Miss Sixtieth-Time-I've-Failed-My-Driver's-Test." Marie said with a mild snicker, eliciting a pout out of Callie.

Despite Marie's low burn, Callie edged closer to her, worried that the crowd was beginning to get too close. Marie bit her lip, looking for a possible way out of this. Luckily for them, they spotted two Inkling brothers popping out of a manhole drowsily, as if they were just woken up.

"Hmm..." Marie murmured with a grin.

* * *

Splin yawned, blinking his eyes slowly. With his eyes half closed, he surveyed the plaza, which seemed much more pitch black recently.

"Splin, wake up!" Sharq told his brother "gently", shaking him, Splin's eyes shooting open.

"Awake! Awa- I'm awake." Splin reassured his brother, rubbing his eyes. "What- what's happening?"

"Marie's walking towards us." Sharq pointed out.

"Oh okay." Splin said tiredly.

Marie reached for the two, pulling them up by the collar of their jackets, placing them on the floor standing up straight, facing the crowd. She lightly pushed them in front of her in Callie, the two standing like bodyguards.

"Protect us, bodyguards!" Marie declared dramatically.

Splin's eyes widened, or in this case widened to normal size given his tired condition, and he blinked rapidly.

"Um."

Sharq seemed to catch the hint right away, the older Inkling brother standing up straight, almost valiantly, greeting the crowd. "Alright people, back-up, it's been a long night, the Squid Sisters need their beauty sleep, am I right?" Sharq said, elbowing Splin.

"...Right, apologies folks, but we don't have much time for any...autographs or something Please understand."

"Yep! Sorry guys!" Sharq shooed the crowd away.

The crowd paused, glanced at the Squid Sisters, who waved, the crowd remaining silent. Suddenly, the crowd all began murmuring among themselves, then began dispersing, occasional cheers for the stars as the audience left the plaza. Sharq grinned, giving Splin a high five, Splin simply standing there unflinchingly.

"..." Splin sighed, shaking his head.

"Thanks guys, you really saved our skin there!" Callie exclaimed, shaking Sharq's hand.

"Skin?" Sharq asked.

"I've been spending a lot of time around gramps." Callie explained.

The two brothers nodded in understanding.

"Alright, well see you two later, Sharq and I are off to bed." Splin told the two, gesturing for Sharq to follow.

"Bye!" Sharq waved.

As per the norm, the brothers transformed into squids, leaped off into the fading light of the sky, heading towards the hills. The Squid Sisters waved them off slightly, when Callie began to yawn.

"I think I really do need my beauty sleep, Marie…" Callie said, drooping down on her cousin's shoulder.

"You and me both." Marie said, leaving. She paused for a moment, looking towards the sky, then walked off, her cousin slumped on her shoulder walking besides her. _"Brace yourself for tomorrow, Cal, it's gonna be a doozy...unless..."_

* * *

Splin was waken up by a simple knocking on his door for once. No alarm clock screeching, no one crashing through the house, just plain, simple, knocking. Splin smiled, believing that this would be a simple day. Getting out of his bed, he picked up his headphones from the dresser nearby, wearing them on his neck, and strolled out towards the door, minding Maria in her mattress. Carefully, he removed his parka, opting for his Black Anchor Tee instead.

"...I really need to buy some sort of bed frame for her. I need to stop forgetting that." Splin commented, looking down at the older woman sleeping peacefully, snoring.

Splin walked up to the door, opening it casually. It would be a lie to say he wasn't prepared for what greeted him, but that isn't to say he was entirely pleased about it.

"Hi Agent B!" Callie piped up, garbed in her Agent 1 disguise. She took her dark sunglasses off and winked at the brother.

"Oh. Hi Callie...oh." Splin said, realization slowly creeping in. "...Hi Callie."

"You don't mind if we come in, do you?" She asked, smiling innocently.

"...Sure." Splin said, leaning on the door, opening it.

"Marie! He said 'yes'!" Callie called out.

" _How the heck does everyone manage to track us to our house?!"_ Splin thought nervously.

A disgruntled Marie walked out from behind the house, waving with her eyes half shut. Callie practically yanked her cousin inside, immediately taking a seat at the kitchen counter. As bewildered as he was, Splin closed the doors, and walked over to the counter, Callie and Marie staring at him rather awkwardly. After a very brief silence, Splin was about to speak, until Callie interrupted him.

"So, what do you have to eat?" She asked.

"Callie, focus. Remember the thing we asked them to help us with?" Marie said, nodding her head towards the other Inkling.

"Huh? Oh, right! Hey Splin, do you and Sharq mind being our bodyguards for the day?" Callie asked.

"Would we?!" Sharq suddenly chimed in, awake and standing by Splin.

"Uh oh. Uh, voice, quick, do something!" Splin said.

Oh, okay.

* * *

Author's Newt: And that was The Bate Brothers, sorry guys for ending it so abruptly, see you next time if I ever decide to make another story!

...Just kidding, we're not going into hiatus.

Not yet, at least.

* * *

Welp, sorry Splin, I tried.

Splin blinked, hand on his chin, an annoyed expression on his face. "Oh, yeah, thanks anyways, you tried your best." He said sarcastically.

Sharq glanced over at Splin. "Splin, shush, Cal- Agent 1-"

"For simplicity sakes, you can call us by our real names in private." Marie stated.

"Oh, alright! What were you saying about us being bodyguards?" Sharq asked.

"Well, we hope you don't mind…but the thing is, the more we socialize with our fans, as much as we love them all, they can get a little too...personal." Marie said.

"Yesterday someone drew some fanart of us!" Callie stated with a huff.

"That doesn't sound too terrible." Splin said with a rub of his chin.

"It involved us and female Octarians in some… Poses." Callie spoke up and twiddled her fingers nervously. "How did they even figure out what Octolings look like?!"

"Like, the 'Stay Fresh' pose? That's awesome!" Sharq asked with a grin.

An awkward silence followed. The Squid Sisters glanced at each other and gulped.

"Not...exactly." Marie said and inhaled sharply through her teeth.

"Sharq." Splin said, Sharq moving closer.

Splin whispered in Sharq's ear, Sharq nodding with a smile on his face. Splin then leaned away, leaving Sharq to compute all that information. Sharq's smile diminished somewhat.

"Ohhhh...that type of pose. Well, isn't it still mostly harmless?" Sharq asked with an eyebrow arched.

"Mostly, but they also try to enter onstage and get close to us." Marie stated, shivering somewhat. "Creepy."

"And dig into our trash…" Callie added.

"Have we brought up the swimsuit fiasco?" Marie wondered aloud. "We told them not to look up the pics."

"Apologies for interrupting, but why don't you just hire security guards? We aren't professionals at anything security related." Splin explained.

"Exactly! What we want you guys to do is blend in with the crowd, they'd never expect two kids protecting us from the crowd!" Callie stated with pride. "Plus, we saw some of your escapades, fighting a giant robot? Amazing!"

"Technically the Skell whooped our tentacles." Splin added. "Plus, without...the help of two others, we probably wouldn't be here right now."

"Regardless, you show a lot of promise." Marie said. "Most of the bodyguards we hire are more interested in slacking off or peeping on us, why so many people in this world insist on flirting is beyond me. We know we can trust you two, right?"

Sharq nodded, smiling proudly. "Of course! You can count on the Bate Bros. to always have your back!"

"Perfect! Thanks you guys!" Callie said. "We'll have you meet at the studio, thanks again!"

Marie nodded. "Alright Callie, let's go. We still have to do the stage rotation broadcasts."

"Alright. See you two in two hours!" Callie said.

"Wait, two hours?" Splin questioned in surprise. "Uh, actually, can we talk about-"

Splin spoke up too late, the Squid Sisters had already left the house in a trail of dust. The brothers could distinctly hear a "Stay Fresh!" echo through the air as the dust settled back onto the floor. Splin sighed, looking over at Sharq.

"Sharq, come on, another adventure? I've had enough of all of this for a week." Splin groaned and emphasized it with a well timed yawn.

"We're just keeping an eye out for the Squid Sisters! There aren't going to be giant robots or guests from other dimensions, except Maria if she decides to tag along." Sharq said, looking over at Maria. "We need to buy her a bed of her own..."

"I know, right? But that's besides the point, I think we should slow down and stop getting into these things, these are the two freshest stars of Inkopolis we're talking about, Sharq." Splin told him.

"Yeah." Sharq nodded.

"...Of course you wouldn't mind the consequences. I'm just going to assume that if I try to talk you out of it, you'll do it anyways, right?"

Sharq paused, then nodded guiltily.

"Alright. What are we doing, how are we going to protect two pop stars from fan harassment?" Splin asked.

"First, we bring some weapons!" Sharq said with a smile.

"Ooooookay, and we're off." Splin said, pulling Sharq out of the house before he got a chance to get a single Splattershot, probably for the better.

* * *

Splin and Sharq landed in the plaza, landing safely in the middle of the asphalt below. No I'm serious, the two blue squids just landed, hardly a scratch, in the middle of the plaza, unharmed. You two are seriously getting the hang of that, good work.

"Thanks." Splin said, dusting himself off.

"No more fall damage for us! Maybe we could be superheroes with this power?" Sharq said.

"Honestly, that would only work in the most specific situations, I'm pretty sure even if we made a safe landing trying to apprehend someone, wouldn't we get wrecked trying to fight him as normal Inklings? What type of person would use the ability to jump high without getting hurt from a landing to their advantage?" Splin asked.

(I'd probably add a Super Mario Maker course with an Inkling costume here as a bad joke, but that'd be shallow of me. Also probably against the rules.)

"Um?" Splin shook his head after that nonexistent platforming adventure. "O-Okay, moving on, let's head to the studio, we've kept them waiting long enough."

The brothers made their way through the plaza towards the Squid Sisters' studio, minding melting ice. They walked around, finding an entrance behind the building, entering the studio building, greeted by a reception desk. A cheery looking female Inkling with tentacles apparently cut short and a clean black uniform with a red bow tie and white shirt, holding her hands together calmly on top of a desk counter built into a wall. Above her, mounted on the wall, a shiny medal gleamed next to a clean round clock that ticked off the seconds.

As the two brothers approached, she greeted them with a beaming expression. "Hello! Welcome to the Squid Sisters' Studio!" The Inkling greeted the two and waved, a white glove neatly attached to her hand.

"Hi!" Sharq told her back.

"We've been told we need to meet the Squid Sisters by the studio." Splin explained quickly and smiled, though he glanced around furtively as if he expected to be japed by some sort of prank.

"Is that so? One second!" The female ducked under the counter with a grin.

Splin arched an eyebrow and Sharq just continued to smile absentmindedly. The clock continued to tick and many rustle sounds emanated from behind the counter. Then came back with a Splatterscope aimed at the two. The gun's barrel pointed at Sharq's still happy nose from across the desk. She glared at them through her sniper rifle much to Splin's nervousness.

"Alright, move along before anyone gets hurt." She growled in a less than customer satisfactory voice.

"Whoa, hold on!" Sharq protested.

"Calm down Lalai, they're with us." A voice called from above.

Splin and Sharq turned to a set of stairs, where Callie and Marie themselves were standing in their pink and green pop star glory. Lalai lowered her Splatterscope, tossing it to the side.

"Oh! Sorry about that!" She apologized quickly and hid the gun behind her back poorly, the barrel still pointed up towards the ceiling behind her as she grinned, "Itchy trigger finger, runs in the family."

"Note taken." Splin said as a bead of sweat dripped down his face.

"Glad you guys could make it! I see you've become acquainted with Lalai here." Callie said.

Lalai waved with her Splatterscope, much to the discomfort of Splin.

"Ready for your assignment?"

"Assignment? I dunno about agent work, but I'm ready!" Sharq said.

Marie grinned. "Nah, it's fine, nothing too serious like taking Zapfish. What we need you two to do is simple. All we want you to do is help protect us from any fans who might get too close for comfort. That's manageable, right?"

"Sure, that sounds reasonable." Splin nodded.

"Great! We need you to start, right now!" Callie declared, all four of them excluding Lalai, who waved as they left, somehow were now standing at a stage, the pop stars already onstage, in a stadium ready to perform, as I am a lazy turtle who can't write transitions.

"Uh huh, nice pacing voice." Splin commented sarcastically.

Sorry, but we have a limited budget for transitions.

"Since when?" Splin asked.

Since… You know what, you go visit another story if you think this one is so bad, gawd. So UNPROFESSIONAL.

Sharq snickered. "Yeah Splin, why are you being so rude?"

"I- What?" Splin muttered

Anyways, back to the topic at hand, Splin and Sharq stood, barely noticeable, inside an ocean of squids, jellyfish, and other assorted sea creatures alike, facing the Squid Sisters onstage. They sat underneath a large closed dome, dimly lit with several pink and green spotlights that dashed among the ceiling. Splin, ignoring the overused fourth wall gag began surveying the crowd, squinting his eyes.

"I don't see why they were so insistent on hiring security, this place seems pretty chill."

"Callie, I love you~!" A female voice cried out.

"Callie? Ha, Marie is LEAGUES above her on the waifu chart." Someone else said.

"Your waifu is ship! SHIP." A jellyfish said, standing proud. At least, he said so in his own gelatinous language, which only infuriated half of the other jellyfish among them, others seeming rather pleased or confused.

Most of the Inklings did not understand the jellyfish's language, but began to rustle in their seats regardless. Callie and Marie onstage cringed at the arguing, fists and tentacles were starting to be raised. Marie stared at the brothers, tilting her head in a gesture towards the fighting audience hopefully. Splin nodded, and made a cautious step towards the crowd.

"Calm down, this isn't something to fight over!" Splin said, attempting to calm them down.

Splin was yanked in by his tentacles on his head, sounds of vicious attacks coming from the crowd. Splin escaped with two tentacles on his head that looked as if they were bitten into, with chunks missing.

"Ow." Splin frowned, feeling at the back of his head.

"How are we going to stop this madness?!" Sharq asked.

Splin stared at the crowd, then glanced at the Squid Sisters. An idea quickly formed in his head, Splin walking onstage as the Inklings fought. He went over to Marie and whispered in her ear, the Squid Sister clearly intrigued. Marie grinned, then repeated the discreetly explained plan to her cousin, who nodded in understanding.

"Eek! Someone leaked the time we modeled swimwear at Mahi Mahi Resort!" Callie screamed with a falsetto voice that might have tricked a toddler over the microphone.

The crowd's eyes went wide. A few of them even glowed with blushes in their respective colors. Instantly, nearly all of them began dispersing and leaving the stadium in a rush. A few of the stragglers continued to glance at the stage as if they hoped that a performance was still on, but were immediately shooed away by waves of the pop stars. The remnants of the audience left reluctantly, and then the audience was empty.

"Wow, did that actually work?" Marie said with an agape mouth.

The spotlights ceased suddenly and the stadium's roof opened. Sunlight streamed in instantly; the four Inklings had to cover their eyes as light flooded in. They blinked and adjusted themselves quickly.

"Our fans are so weird." Callie said with a giggle. She turned to Splin and Sharq and inhaled sharply once she saw the chunks of tentacle missing from Splin's head. "Ah…"

"What?" Splin asked, reaching for his head.

"N-Nothing! Uh, thanks for trying Splin, Sharq, shame it went really bad. But, to make it up to you, we have a reward!" Callie said.

"Really? Aww, you shouldn't have!" Sharq said.

"But we did. Hold on one moment." Marie said, going backstage for a moment.

A moment later, Marie came back dragging a large sack overflowing with golden coins. Splin's eyes practically shot out of his head, while Sharq's glowed with happiness.

"Hey Team Fit, a little help here?" Marie said with a grunt.

"Oh! Sorry." Callie said, helping Marie drag the sack of loot towards the brothers. "Consider it our thanks from us to you!"

"Thank you so much." Splin said with a light smile. _"...I can't believe we're getting paid for this."_

"DUDE." Sharq said with a huge grin. "That's great!"

"Thank you for making this the least painful and least difficult concert ever. We're off to the studio, see you guys later. Pretty sure we have a Turf War to commentate. Thanks again!" Callie said.

"It's gonna be a pain explaining to the press why we skipped on our concert, though." Marie sighed.

"What are you talking about, Marie? We ARE the press!" Callie said with a grin, Marie rolling her eyes.

The Squid Sisters performed their signature, "Stay Fresh" pose, dangling their hands and fingers on one leg, then walked off.

Splin stared down at the money. "We can't possibly carry all of this back."

"Who said we were going to carry all of THIS back?" Sharq said with a smirk much to Splin's interest.

* * *

Maria woke up with a start, sweat dripping down her face and tentacles. She stared down at her body, gasping for breath. She threw the sheets off her bed, then breathed a sigh of relief at the sight, a normal, healthy Inkling female body. She started to tear up somewhat, until she heard a knocking at the door of the Bate household, alerting her. Looking around, she noticed that Splin and Sharq weren't anywhere in the house, the only things around being Salty the snail and the Tele-Cube "sleeping" peacefully, the alarm clock ticking away seconds rather grumpily for an alarm clock, and Ann-Gel's statuette eyes closed, little snoring noises coming from the amiibo. Maria stood up off her mattress, inching towards the door, then opened it, fist raised and breath slow.

Splin and Sharq fell inside, a large bed frame decorated with sheets and pillows following after them.

"Erm… Merry late Squidmas?" Splin said, gesturing to the bed frame.

Maria smiled, and hugged the two boys. After a short hug, she released them from her iron grip, the looked at the bed, which was lodged halfway through.

"This is for me?" Maria asked.

"Uh huh! Just as soon as we get it through the door…" Sharq explained.

Maria walked up to the bed, then pulled it through with but a minute's effort, the bed now resting in the house irregularly placed in the middle next to a television and a dusty couch. Maria seemed happy nonetheless.

"Thank you…" Maria said, hopping up on the bed, settling in with a content sigh as she stretched her limbs across the gloriously soft mattress.

Splin and Sharq smiled, then they did the same, hopping up on their own separate beds, relaxing, no longer having to deal with any silly pop star drama, and sighed as well. They leaned back and waited for the next day to come.

* * *

 **Super Cereal AN:** Okay, actual author's note, here we go. Remember that hiatus I was talking about? Well, right now, I have no plans for a hiatus, but it could happen. The reason being is that recently I've realized that right now my writing skills are pretty average. I don't want to play my saxophone TF2 taunt, but I gotta say I don't think I'm half bad. Doesn't mean I'm good either. If a hiatus DOES roll around, I'll be sure to post fresher stories or even a sequel/prequel to this "story" if you can even call it that anymore, while improving my own skills. In the meantime, feel free to play video games or read other stories on this site. I hate to promote or demote anyone, but I recommend checking out some of the other Shared Universe stories if you haven't already while I'm absorbed in my own, lazy world.

Aside from that rather lengthy note, how 'bout some reviews? I've done some digging around, and I have a theory that the new review catastrophe going around where no one can see reviews anymore is because of the new year, something went down with the reviews or something after the end of the December as I've noticed. Oh well. Thanks Ultrapyre for reviewing! Yes indeed Ultrapyre, if this story is coming to a close, I will have to brainstorm an ending, no? Good luck on your "One Missed Call" Splatoon story by the way!

Thanks again for reading everybody, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to play Pikmin 2 like the old times. See ya!


	43. The Brothers and the Challenge Finale

Quick AN: Hey guys it's ThePizzaLovingTurtle. So, I've decided, this chapter will be the last chapter in a long time, possibly the last of this story, I apologize. But, in the meantime, I have a little spin-off story in the works, who knows? Maybe I'll post it soon. While you're waiting, have one last challenge, fresh from Ari Jabin himself. Hope you like it.

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

 **Ari's Really Cool Challenge of the Ages**

Sharq had a dream. He dreamt that he was Super Jumping, except instead of falling down towards the ground, he was flying through the sky, not a care in the world. His squid tentacles twirled happily as he soared over the landscape, squids and jellyfish pedestrians down below stopping in awe. Grinning widely, he couldn't help a giddy feeling as he flipped and dipped through the skies' formation of clouds. He landed perfectly in the middle of Inkopolis Plaza, Tai, Maria, and Splin nearby each giving scores via scores. Everyone but Splin had up a perfect "10", whereas Splin held a decent "9".

"Splin!" Maria sighed.

"I'm just being honest." Splin retorted.

"This is his dream, dude, just roll with it." Tai said, rolling her eyes.

Splin sighed, and added a "1" behind the "9", giving Sharq an almighty score of "19". Sharq smiled widely, walking over to the judges and hugging Splin tightly. Splin sighed almost robotically, Maria smiling sweetly at the sight, Tai nodding nearby.

* * *

Sharq woke up feeling extra positive today, like nothing could go wrong. Standing up, he leaped out of his bed, stretching his arms, legs, and tentacles. Retrieving his Takoroka Mesh cap from the dresser adjacent to his and Splin's beds, he planted it on his head, strolling along towards the kitchen counter, wary not to wake up his brother, still snoozing.

"Good morning Sharq."

Sharq blinked, then turned towards the stove, where Maria was standing by, flipping a pan full of what he assumed to be something delicious.

"Morning Maria!" Sharq greeted her cheerily. "What are we doing today?"

"Don't you usually ask Splin that question?" Maria asked.

"Yeah, but I'm sure he's having a good dream right now." Sharq said with a grin, pointing his thumb towards his brother, who was stirring somewhat in his sleep.

* * *

Splin gulped, looking around his dreamscape. He noticed some form of fighting in the distance, squinting his eyes to perceive the action. He ducked into squid form, sliding to the side, barely dodging two individuals fighting with fury, running almost at the speed of sound. Looking closely from a safe distance, he saw that both individuals were Inklings of sorts, one with multiple tentacles appearing strikingly familiar. Before he could question what was happening, a chunk of debris dislodged from the ground from the battle was launched towards him, about to smash into him.

* * *

"Wow, he is really sound asleep." Maria commented, staring at Splin yet keeping tabs on the breakfast she was creating.

"Yeah. I don't think he's going to wake up anytime soon." Sharq commented, hopping off his chair towards his brother.

"AAAAGH!" Splin screamed and squirmed, throwing his bedsheets and pillows off his small cot in the process.

"Looks like I was wrong. Hey Splin, how'd you sleep?" Sharq asked.

"Not very well! I had a dream where Rem smashed me with a chunk of sidewalk!" Splin said, gasping.

"That doesn't sound nice." Sharq said with a semi-genuine pout.

Maria turned, keeping the pan on top of the stove, hands on her hip, frowning. "It's just a dream, Splin. I'm sure that Rem wouldn't ever do that...on purpose." She tried to reassure him.

"I suppose you're right, it was just a dream. Geez, it felt so realistic though. It's like I was there..." Splin murmured with a sigh, then hopped off his bed. "I'll get started on breakfast."

"No need Splin, I've already gotten that covered." Maria said with a smile, flipping the contents of the pan.

Now gracefully suspended midair, a golden omelet flipped, shining beautifully, catching the eyes of Splin and the stomach of Sharq. The two brothers felt obligated to clap, and so they did, providing a round of applause for Maria's cooking.

"Thank you. I suppose my cooking's getting much better." Maria said, flipping the omelet.

Just then, she made a slip-up, and the omelet dropped flat on the stove. Maria flinched as the omelet burst into flames near immediately, leaving a charred, coal-like meal on the stove. She turned the stove off, grinning nervously.

"Ta-da…?" She said.

Sharq shrugged, reaching for a spatula lying on the counter nearby, flipping the egg onto a plate, digging in immediately.

Splin sighed. "Leave it to my brother to consume anything physically inedible."

Maria pouted jestingly. "Are you saying my cooking's bad, Splin?"

"What?! No, no, I meant-"

"I think I might have to kick you out of the house for that." Maria said, winking.

"Please don't." Splin said, backing up towards his bed, sliding underneath the covers in squid form, staring back at Maria from the comfort and safety...actually, the comfort of his own bed.

Maria smiled motherly. "Maybe now you'll think before you speak, Splin."

"Yes, I get it, completely on me. Ha ha." Splin grumbled, rolling out of the bed sheets.

"What's the agenda for today, Splin?" Sharq asked curiously, through bites of the burnt omelet.

"I was thinking something along the lines of practicing in Turf Wars. Sharq, we're pretty much useless in battle."

"Aw, don't say that." Maria reassured Splin.

"Technically it's true, we only manage to provide low to average support, I've noticed our most effective, and almost primary way of dealing with threats is running away. I don't want to keep on having to retreat while a menace is at large." Splin explained.

"So, we're going in Turf Wars to hone our skills, so to speak, and beat other teams?" Sharq said.

"Precisely, bro. After all," Splin turned away. "It's not like YOU want to watch a bunch of Inklings running away for the tenth time."

"Ooh! Are we finally talking to the audience?" Sharq asked.

"Audience?" Splin asked, turning away from Maria.

"Oops." Sharq said, looking away. "Nevermind."

"That's not a very solid way to start off a chapter, Sharq." Splin said with a smirk.

"What are you two talking about?" Maria asked with a tilted head.

Okay that's enough.

"Nothing! See you Maria!" Both of them piped up at once, leaving the house, Super Jumping away, tentacles flailing.

"Those boys…" Maria said as she watched them go, shaking her head, walking back inside.

"...Voice, what was that about? I think we kinda lost our focus there" Sharq asked.

Nothing to worry about. Just a goodbye gift.

"To Maria? I don't see what she'd find so interesting in-"

AS THE TWO BROTHERS HURDLED TOWARDS INKOPOLIS, ahem, they shrugged off the oddities of that exchange, aiming for Inkopolis Plaza as usual. Sharq grinned, feeling the wind underneath his tentacles, though Splin looked a little concerned.

"Sharq, look out!" Splin cried out.

Sharq looked down at the plaza. His eyes went wide once he realized that there was another crowding of sea creatures covering the asphalt below, the plaza looking similar to that of a undersea reef. Sharq veered towards the right very gently, nodding at Splin to do the same. Together, the brothers made their way to a safe landing zone, and smashed into the Battle Dojo roof.

* * *

R.I.P. Splin and Sharq, alright ladies and gentlemen, for the rest of the series, we will be reading from the POV of Aqua-

Splin and Sharq rose unsteadily, small crack sounds coming from their limbs, which they responded with squeaks of unease.

Nevermind, good to see you two unharmed.

The Bate Brothers rolled their eyes, descending carefully down the Battle Dojo. Once on the second level, they had a clear view of the plaza, Inklings of all shapes and sizes staring towards the tower.

"What's the matter? Is the Great Zapfish missing again?" Splin wondered, looking up at the tower.

The Zapfish remained coiled up on the great green tower, staring down at the crowd of Inklings.

"I guess that's a no. C'mon Splin, let's get in closer!" Sharq said, hopping off a railing into the ground level of the plaza.

The brothers quickly dived into the crowd, who all suddenly fell flat on their faces.

"Oh no! What'd we do wrong?!" Sharq asked, looking down at the crowd.

"Sharq, we've been duped." Splin said uncharismatically. "Take a closer look."

Sharq stared down at the crowd, and realized that they were all made out of cardboard. Sharq stared at them with a look of befuddlement, glancing at the Booyah Base to his left as if the shopkeepers had some insight on this problem. Each shopkeeper continually knocked on the glass and pointed behind them. Splin and Sharq stared at them, walking towards the shops to help just in case they locked themselves in or something, when they felt a cloth wrap around the two of them, the both of them quickly getting abducted in a burlap sack.

"Ha! See? You could learn a thing or two about luring in suckers from your old man." Ares said with a sneer.

"Yeah, like how to act like a complete buffoon." Ari said with a scowl. "That's not how you're supposed to challenge rivals, you ignoramus."

"Pff. What would you know? You're just a dumb teen, always have been." Ares growled at Ari, minding the muffled protests coming from within the sack he had slung over his shoulder.

"I was always a dumb teen? Might need to exercise that dinosaur brain of yours, father." Ari said with a snicker. "It's getting ancient with every passing day, might as well donate you to a museum and call you a tyrannosaurus."

"Ooh!" Ari's female squadron cheered in the background, each staring at the conflict from a safe place, the sanctuary in question being Spyke's alleyway.

Spyke groaned at the crowding in the small space. "Appreciate it if you'd leave some elbow room, loves."

"Yeah? Least I don't act like a jester from the 15th century." Ares scoffed.

"Looks like someone actually paid attention in history class. First time you actually paid attention to something you cared about." Ari said, crossing his arms.

"Shut up." Ares sneered. "At least I-"

"Are you two going to insult each other all day, or are you going to release us?" Splin's voice called out from within the sack.

"Yeah! It's getting crowded in here…" Sharq said.

An audible representation of Splin rolling his eyes could be heard, somehow. "Just switch into squid form!"

The bag slung over Ares' shoulder lightened in weight. Ares grin intensified, as did Ari's displeasure. Sari, Rit, and Bas walked out from the alley, crossing their arms

"Alright, let's do this stupid task." Ares said, walking off.

"Challenge! IT IS CALLED A CHALLENGE."

"Potato tomato." Ares said.

"Potato Brain is more like it!" Ari cried, running after his father, his female friends following behind, sticking to them like glue.

"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!"

* * *

After hours and hours of insufferable dad and son bond time, Splin and Sharq were dog tired, each of them slumped in the sack, resting their heads on each others' shoulders. They felt like they had already traveled miles, even confined in their tiny prison. From what they've gathered over the walk was that Ari appeared to be challenging them to prove some sort of point to Ares.

"How...long has it been…?" Sharq asked, blinking.

Splin reached into his pants pocket, pulling out his barely used phone. Turning it on with a flick of a button, he made a quick estimation using the clock in the phone.

"Four hours. Four hours of THIS." Splin said, sighing.

"And another thing, I'd call you a bonehead for letting mother go, but you don't have any!" Ari said with a growl.

"Yeah? Oh yeah, is that **SOOOOOO?!** " Ares roared.

"Yeah it is **SOOOOOOO!** " Ari shouted back.

"I just want this to endddd…" Splin said, covering his face using his hands.

"You and me bottttthhhh…" Sari said with a groan.

"Why are we talking like thisssss?" Rit asked, Bas shrugging nearby.

Suddenly, Splin and Sharq began to shake. The two hit the ground, still in the bag, hard, groaning as they hit the ground. They crawled out of the sack in squid form, their eyes adjusting to the outside light. Their eyes shot open once they realized where they were.

"One last challenge!" Ari said.

"I'd like to see your 'rivals' get past this." Ares said with a smirk.

The Bate Bros. were on a spawn point, metal platform Ari, Sari, Rit, Bas, and Ares stood watching them. The two gasped in realization, finding that they were standing on a spawn point painted blue, overlooking Saltspray Rig. Thousands of deadly traps from Splat Bombs being launched randomly to machine firing Inkzookas automatically layered the stage, all coated in a red-orange ink which, quite frankly terrifying the brothers.

"Oh, they will! I'll prove you wrong!" Ari yelled.

"WHAT THE SHELL IS HAPPENING?!" Splin shouted.

"...oh." Sharq gulped.

Splin and Sharq began tearing up at the sight of such carnage, all clearly meant for them. Ares grinned evilly, pushing the two off their spawn point, into the gauntlet, the two landing down into a middle area between two spawn points, on top of a box with no ink coated on it. The orange ink awaited the two, bubbling suspiciously like lava billowing from a volcano.

"Uh, Ari?" Sari piped up. "I don't mean to challenge your um, genius, but this doesn't seem too...fair."

Ari growled. "Yeah, that's because my dad over here built it."

"It's a masterpiece!" Ares laughed. "The culmination of impossible engineering only made possible by someone like me!"

Splin frowned. "At least now we know where Ari got THAT from."

"I dunno about you Splin, but I'm too scared to move from this spot." Sharq said, nervously eyeing the ink.

"You two have an hour, because I'm fair, to complete this challenge! Paint the entire rig blue, and you'll be set!" Ares said with an evil laugh.

"With no weapons?!" Splin asked.

"Yeah, dad, the two need weapons to make this fair." Ari said with a scoff.

"Oh, right! Fairness! 'Look at me, I'm Ari, I suddenly know how to play by the rules, despite having not listened to my dad at all'!" Ares said with an uncharacteristic mocking personality.

Ari sneered. "'Look at me, I'm Ares, I chase away my wife because I'm a jerk!'"

Splin and Sharq sat on the boxes, listening to the rambling for quite a while. Neither of them bothered to set foot in the treacherous goop.

"Something tells me they aren't having the nicest of family talks." Sharq said, watching the two.

"Yep." Splin said.

"What are you two waiting for?! GO!" Ares shouted, shooting the two with a .96 Gal ink shooter, the two yelping from the sudden impact.

* * *

Maria lounged on her mattress, covered in a soft blanket, when suddenly her eyes shot open. Maria sat up straight, a glare on her face. Tai suddenly crashed into the house from the roof, dusting herself off.

"Hey Maria, have you seen Splin or Sharq anywhere? I was gonna ask them if they wanted to hang out, target practice is slow again." Tai said, looking around. "...Maria?"

Maria's glare seemed to burn a hole through the wall of the house, in the direction of Inkopolis, Ann-Gel's trophy form seeming to sweat under her anger.

"You okay?"

"Someone's going to die today." She muttered, grabbing a nearby Splattershot, heading outside.

Tai blinked, then grinned ominously. "I'm interested to see where this is going."

* * *

Splin and Sharq flinched, their eyes closed in anticipation of a burning sensation from the red orange ink, opening their eyes cautiously, feeling at their backs.

"This ink doesn't hurt." Splin said.

"What the?" Ares said, shaking the gun.

"Should've double checked your equipment, then you might have realized I had sabotaged it!" Ari laughed.

"Um, hey, Ari…?" Splin began, but was cut off by the two others spiraling into another unstoppable argument. "Nevermind…"

The two stared down at the orange ink.

"...Should we?" Sharq asked.

"One step." Splin said, dipping his shoe in the ink.

Boom, Splin disintegrated immediately, and Sharq did so following after. For the rest of the story we will be reading from the POV of Willie and Zip-

"I'm fine." Splin said, kicking away some of the orange ink.

Oh okay, moving on.

Splin and Sharq trailed through the ink like snails, making little forward progress. The two boredly trudged for fifteen minutes, the sounds of machinery and arguing blaring in the background. Just then, Sharq tapped Splin's shoulder, pointing to an obstacle ahead of them. On two sets of elevator platforms leading farther up the rig, two makeshift cannons were firing Burst Bombs rapidly, a stream of the projectiles pouring out from the cannon nozzles into the sea, breaking immediately below.

"How are we going to get through that?" Sharq wondered. "Wait a minute…"

Testing the waters, so to speak, Sharq walked in front of the Burst Bombs, and-

"Was fine!" Sharq chimed in, walking through, ink bouncing harmlessly off him.

The ink also had no effect on Splin, who walked to meet up with his brother on the other side of the barrier of harmless bombs. The two continued up the rig, weaving slowly through a ramp leading towards the top.

"'Look at me, I'm'- HEY!" Ari suddenly shouted, ceasing his arguing.

"That's the worst one yet!" Ares said with a laugh, then followed Ari's stare. "HEY!"

Much to their surprise, Splin and Sharq were already halfway near the top, though without a defined goal, they were confused as to what to do. Ares fumed at their progress, though Ari seemed rather pleased with himself, and especially boastful.

"See? Told you they could make it." Ari said, gleaming with pride, his female squad posing fabulously, crossing their arms, light practically bouncing off of them.

"Grr. We'll see about that." Ares said, rolling up his sleeve, marching over to the two with one arm raised in anger.

"And what do you intend on doing, mm?" Someone asked behind him, the sound of a gun cocking following the voice.

Ares frowned, whirling around, finding a rather angry Maria, a box containing you-know-who at her side, the Octoling smiling viciously from within.

"Oh, hey. How's it going." Ares said with a flirty smirk, turning back. He whirled back around, eyes wide open. "You?!"

Maria peered through the scope of her Splatterscope, aiming the gun nozzle straight at Ari's face.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd stop tormenting these poor boys." Maria said with a deadlier version of her normally warm motherly voice.

"The ink here doesn't actually hurt!" Sharq exclaimed, rolling in the orange.

"This whole challenge amounted to nothing." Splin said, agitated. "What was the point of this?"

Ari and Ares looked in opposite directions of each other. Sari standing by cleared her throat. Splin and Sharq stared from the rig at the girl, hardly caring about the orange ink their feet were submerged in.

"Well, I suppose I should finally explain, um..." She began. "It...started a while ago, when Ari turned fourteen."

"He was pretty young, and his mum was still around, uncle over here were having the time of their lives together, right?" Rit continued, Sari nodding.

"Then tragedy struck… To put it simply, the two of them got into some, like, argument about whether Ari should go to a battle academy or straight up try for a Turf War team." Bas explained, the other two nodding.

"When the two didn't agree, it actually hit him harder than it should've, and, well…Ari's mom left his dad." Sari said, pointing towards the pair of bickering egomaniacs. "Ari...didn't take it too well."

"So the challenges then…" Splin said.

"I thought if I could impress someone strong with my challenges, they'd help me get into a professional squad." Ari huffed, lowering the brim of his Jungle Hat. "There, you happy?"

"It all makes sense now!" Sharq said

"Not...really." Splin said. "Why'd you always pick on us?"

Ari's face seemed to glow red for a moment, the teen placing his hands in his Varsity Jacket pockets.

"always thought you were co…" He muttered.

"Hmm?" Splin and Sharq hummed in confusion.

"I always thought you were cool!" Ari admitted, blushing red in embarrassment. "Fighting giant robots? Getting through my challenges halfway yet still finishing with a smile?! Taking us all out somehow the first match we had?!"

"Whoa." Sharq said, smiling.

"I used to think you were a good for nothing scrub! You turned out to be the BEST RIVALS I'VE EVER HAD!" Ari shouted, everyone's eyes expanding in amazement.

"..." An awkward, somewhat impressed, somewhat bashful silence followed.

"Uh...thanks?" Splin said carefully.

"YOU ARE WELCOME!" Ari shouted, shoving his Jungle Hat down on his head, trying in vain to contain his newfound embarrassment.

Maria lowered her weapon, sighing. "That was certainly something."

"Yeah." Ares said, walking over to Ari, who flinched at his father's approach.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Ari practically screamed, backing away.

Ares grinned. "That was a pretty dumb move you just pulled there."

"Yeah?! SO?!" Ari shouted.

Ares patted Ari on the head. "Ha… Ha ha… HA!"

"What's so funny?" Ari demanded.

"You remind me of a younger me, trying to propose to your mother! The embarrassment, the red face, it's all there!" Ares said with a hearty laugh.

Maria blinked. "So, um… That means…?"

"It means for once, you're not a complete fool!" Ares bellowed. "You're finally using that passion for something good!"

Ari smirked. "W-Well, yeah! What would you expect from a Jabin? Nothing less!"

"Jabin? Of course! We strive for only the best!" Ares shouted.

"Of course, nothing less!" Ari joined in.

"Haha! My son is back!" Ares said triumphantly.

"My dad is back!" Ari said triumphantly.

"Momentary respect!" Ari's female squad chimed, their tentacles flowing heroically in the wind.

Splin, Sharq, and Maria stared at the odd family moment, Splin shrugging at this normal scene in a normally strange universe.

"All's well that ends well!" Sharq said with a grin.

"I...suppose." Splin said uncertainly.

Maria shook her head. "Boys, if our experiences have taught us anything, it's that we should just go with the flow."

"Welp, that was stupid." Tai said, lounging back in the box.

"To Oahu! We celebrate this moment!" Ari shouted, pointing to the sun.

* * *

The cast now sat in the restaurant of Oahu, a large table with a feast catering to the family's whim. Splin, Sharq and Maria sat at a table nearby, Splin appearing unamused by the events, while Maria and Sharq simply lounged in the chairs, Tai sitting in a chair, still staying hidden in the box, though she was rather fine with it, the scent of food keeping her put.

"To us!" Ares declared, raising a glass filled with what appeared to be a wine.

"To us!" Ari, Sari, Rit, and Bas repeated, raising glasses of their owned filled with liquids containing less alcohol.

As the family cheered and downed their food and drinks, Willie and Zip looked on, shrugging, just happy that they weren't causing too much of a ruckus compared to other Ari visits. Zip twirled over to the Bate Bros. and Maria, leaning on their table.

"What'd you guys do? This is the first time I've actually seen Ari with his dad. And pretty darn happy too." Zip commented.

"We somehow solved a family dilemma by accident." Splin explained.

"Ah. Well, good job." Zip said, quickly pulling out a small clipboard. "Tonight's order is on the house."

"Gee, thanks!" Sharq said.

Zip smiled. "Of course, anything for our four 'heroes'." She said with a wink.

Tai began sweating nervously.

"I don't know why you constantly have to carry that box around, but if it's for leftovers, I won't judge." Zip said.

Tai smiled, silently blessing the Inkling world for not being complete murdering evildoers.

"I have to warn you though, I don't think this peace will last." Splin said, adding in his order discreetly.

"Eh, might as well bask in the moment, right?" Zip said.

Willie stared at the odd sight from the counter, chin on his hands.

"Loudmouth's having a blast. This world must be coming to an end or something." Willie commented.

A pan being clanged over his head made him cringe and change into a squid instinctively, Willie turning back, glared at Pela, who was standing above him using a small stool, descending with a pan and dough roller in her hands.

"If it is, it's one heck of a successful end, huh?" Pela said.

"You disrupted my hearing just to say that?! Devil woman!" Willie shouted, Pela curling her tentacles with a mocking cackle, Zip dashing inside of the kitchen.

Suddenly, the doors of the restaurant opened, the guest star of the century, Aqua, making one, possibly last, cameo appearance. Aqua peeked her head from the doors from outside, looking at the scene.

"What's g-going on? Is someone having a party?" Aqua asked meekly.

Ari stared at the door, grinning. "Well now."

Pela quickly ran out from the kitchen, inviting Aqua inside, brandishing a knife towards Ari, with a look saying, "No flirting with the cute girl or I'll kill you". Ari grumbled, going back to his celebration, Pela escorting Aqua over to a table of her own, chatting quietly.

Everything seems pretty good, doesn't it Splin and Sharq?

"Yeah!" Sharq said, taking his Takoroka Mesh cap off. "This is great! No challenges, just food!"

"...You know what Sharq, you're right. Everything's right as rain...although it may be...too fine."

A car could be heard crashing outside. After a minute, the doors to the restaurant flung open, Callie, or in this case, Agent 1 judging by her current attire, was being carried in, dizzy swirls in place of her normal eyes. Agent 2 grunted, carefully laying her cousin onto a chair, sitting down next to her.

"Is that it? Well, I guess things really are ending up fine." Splin said.

Splin lounged back on his chair, looking out the window.

Hope you two are going to enjoy your time off from all that adventuring.

"Voice?" Splin wondered aloud.

Yep.

"Where are you heading?" Sharq asked.

Just going for a bit of a break. See you two later.

"Oh, okay! See you later voice!" Sharq said happily, waving the narrator off.

"Goodbye. Hope you have fun I guess." Splin said, also waving him off.

As the two brothers waved them off, Zip came back, with plates of burgers and pizzas covering the platters, as well as an extra plate with a sandwich on it for Maria.

"Hooray!" Sharq cheered.

"Huh…" Splin said. "Thanks Zip."

"No problem Splin." Zip said, walking back to the kitchen, her tentacles bobbing.

Everyone in the restaurant enjoyed their time, resting easy, spending the rest of the night chilling.

* * *

AN: A Thank You: Sorry for the abrupt "ending", but hey, there really wasn't an **easy** way of "ending" this fic. I want to thank everyone who helped me continue this story over so many months. In fact, I got a list! If your name doesn't show up in multiple categories, that means you helped me more than described!

CREDITS

People Who Helped "Make" This Story, With Spectacular Reviews

 **Anon360 - Thanks for being the first reviewer, inspired me more than you know!**

 **nintendosegapokefan - Thank you for guiding me through the early days of this story as well, trusted reviewer!**

 **sebastian G - Danke schon, even if you are bored with fanfiction and aren't reading this, thank you for helping me continue!**

 **Dread Angel - Thanks so much for helping me with the Splat X crossover chapters, inviting me to the group, and being a good friend!**

 **Mr. Loner - Even if they were just a few appearances here and there, thank you for reviewing, hopefully this year you can use a costume idea without Sharq stealing it!**

 **OctoInkling75 - Thank you for the idea of Aqua! Hope every story you read is fantastic, sorta like you!**

 **Ultrapyre - Quite the critic you are, but thanks for helping me improve my story with moral support!**

 **Darkstar248 - Thanks for telling me you love randomness, sometimes a little randomness goes a long way!**

 **Hoopa679 - I appreciate your bubbliness as well as going with the flow of my bad jokes!**

 **qwertzuiopas701 - You really supported my decisions with the direction the characters took, thanks!**

 **You guys inspired me with words of advice, amazing memes, and great suggestions.**

Those Who Followed, Playing Another Role in Supporting This Story

 **CooledFilBell7**

 **Fuuga GF**

 **Slulldom**

 **The regular squiddy**

 **deepcauldron**

 **the story guys**

 **You may not have reviewed, but moral support is always great, hope I didn't flood your e-mails or something!**

Favorited, Thanks guys.

 **litosns**

 **Favoriting a story is like upvoting a comment, it may not seem like much in the long run, but dang it makes me smile stupidly.**

I believe that is all. Thanks one and all for reading this story, this has been ThePizzaLovingTurtle, off to play… Splatoon, eh?

…

…..

…

* * *

"Wow, this place is pretty cool!" Sharq said.

"Sharq, there's nothing here, it's all white." Splin said. "Where'd you teleport us off to now?"

"Dunno. Wanna go back home?" Sharq asked.

"...Yeah." Splin said. "Well, wait a second."

"What?"

"You...wanna stop by Rem and Ix's universe for a bit? You know, see how they're doing?"

"..."

"Right, that was a dumb question, sorry."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

"...Heh, I can always count on you, can't I?"

* * *

Post-Story Author's Note: Er, by the way, if you happen to be reading this, this story now has a sequel. If you want to check it out, that's up to you. It's better than the abrupt ending, that's for sure.


	44. Aquamarine: Isn't this Story Dead?

Ahem: I'm not sure if OctoInkling75 is even reading this, but I wanted to write about your character again, and I didn't have permission for my new story, so I decided to write on this one for old time's sake. Consider this a bit of a neat little call-back.

 **Splatoon: The Bate Bros.**

" **Turtle, this story is supposed to finished, don't update again."**

Also known in the English language as **Aquamarine, A Short Story**

A folded white cap laid dormant on top of a small rack that stretched out from a white wall by another bright white door that appeared to shine even in the dead of night. Underneath the rack, someone slept gently. In the embrace of white bedsheets, an Inkling stirred somewhat restlessly.

Long pink tentacles sat motionless on top of a pillow. The soft face that the tentacles belonged to on the other hand breathed in and out softly on the comfortable soft fabric. The small Inkling sighed in and out during her sleep constantly. She shivered somewhat as a breeze curled through the room and instinctively hugged the sheets tighter.

She would have gone the entire night shivering, had her sensitive Inkling ears not begun to pick up a noise. Hushed whispers emphasized privacy, but the dull silence of night compelled her to listen regardless.

"...worried about her." A distinctly female voice called out.

Her blue eyes fluttered open gently. She whimpered as she slowly but surely rose from her bed, the blankets draped over her small squid torso. Now garbed in the sheets of white, she slowly shuffled over towards the nearest source of light. As she stood in front of the door and as an orange-yellow light glowed from underneath peeking into her room, she placed one ear up to the door.

"Trust me." A male's voice murmured soft, though Aqua could make it out through the wooden door frame. "Inkopolis is a nice city. It's a little large and busy-"

"That's what I'm afraid of." Another voice huffed in a rushed patience. "Aqua is not a people's person."

The small Inkling draped in the warm embrace of her own bed sheets shivered. Their conversation continued, though the vibrations and tones of their voices thoroughly bothered her. Aqua frowned to herself and retreated away from the door. She fell down gracefully into her bed and rolled back into a sleeping position. Aqua nuzzled her head back down into a pillow and tried to ignore the speech as it echoed past her door. The world began to blur and vanish as sleep overtook her.

* * *

"Aqua, you're sure you're going to be okay?" A female voice called from outside her bedroom door cooed in a calm reassurance.

Aqua was wide awake, but she wished she was still fast asleep. She reached up from her bedside as she sat on top of the mattress and bedsheets to the white cap strung on the hook above her cot. She retrieved the white cap and stuck it on top of her bright pink tentacles. The SQUID GIRL ensemble she donned glowed with the added dazzle of innocence.

"Y-Yes." She murmured towards the wooden door with a shy frown.

The door cracked open. Her father responded. "Aqua, what have we told you about your enunciation?"

In turn, Aqua squeaked a "S-Sorry a-about t-that."

"Dear, you're making her stammer again." Her mother chimed in from behind him and added a warm smile to her expression. "You're all set? You have your money?"

Behind the timid's girl back, she brought her hands out cupped together. In between the two palms, several golden coins shimmered bright. She returned her coins into the unknown realm behind her back, presumably in some form of pocket.

"Good." Her father nodded in confirmation. "Do you have your Splat Charger?"

Yet again she pulled out an item from seemingly nowhere. A long sniper rifle with an orange nozzle and green body also shined. Although the bright glint of the rifle barrel was much less charming than the other set of pocket change.

"That's my girl." Her father smiled and reached into the room.

She sheathed the Splat Charger out of sight behind her back and shrunk underneath her father's hand. Slowly as his hand descended upon her, Aqua's form switched into a pink squid until she was low on the floor. His hand continued to hover just above her, out of her head's reach.

He sighed and shook his head. Eventually, Aqua grew back into her own Inkling size. "You're SURE you don't want either of us to go with you?"

Profusely and quickly, Aqua shook her head and started out the door into the hall. The small Inkling passed by the wooden door with her hands folded in front of her body as her parents watched her stride off with all the confidence of a mouse. Her stride led her out through a hallway, out towards yet another closed door. As she approached, she paused, and looked back with crystalline eyes.

She watched them wave back at her with reassuring smiles. With a sigh to herself, she turned around and cracked open the door. _"Alright. First day. It's going to be okay."_

* * *

Aqua glanced out from behind an Inkling boy with blue tentacles, a distinct lack of a pair of Designer Headphones, a Black Anchor Tee, and two Orange Arrow shoes on his feet out at a very tense Blackbelly Skatepark filled to the brim with enemy Inklings in orange aimed at the spawn point they were on.

Also her tentacles were blue now for whatever reason.

One of the opposing players glanced towards her with a grin. "Hey Splin, who's the cutie behind you? Your girlfriend or something?"

She flinched immediately. With a shaky stare, she glanced towards the one in orange with a timid step out from behind her cover Inkling.

"H-Hi." Aqua's lip trembled slightly. "My name's Aqua."

"And she's not my girlfriend." Splin sighed in response with a tinge of embarrassment in the shake of his head that followed.

As the others spoke, slowly and surely the world began to freeze in Aqua's head. She shivered and glanced to and fro at the people who passed by. Weapons aplenty and foreign orange ink covered every nook and cranny of the skatepark battleground. She noticed a female Inkling sniping from the tower with an E-Liter.

Aqua shrunk under her deadly gaze. All of a sudden, the female looked up from her gray metal weapon. The enemy sniper, much to her surprise, smiled and waved. Aqua was tempted to wave back at her until she took aim once again. A glowering glare of anxiety crept up into her chest and brought her down.

She glanced backwards towards the wall behind her and mentally debated, _"Maybe I can just leave now… I don't want to let them down...but-"_

Her thought train crashed when the tall Inkling woman crouched down in front of her. "Hi!"

Aqua crossed her legs shyly and gazed at her. The much taller Inkling had a long smile on her face as she stared towards her, her tentacles drooped down by her arms. They had a miniature bout of silence until Aqua's face began to glow in a prolonged flush. "H-Hello."

"What's your name?" A voice as soothing as Aqua never thought Inkling possible snapped her out of her doldrums.

"A-Aqua." She murmured as she turned her head away.

The other Inkling continued to smile. "Nice to meet you, Aqua. My name is Maria. What's the matter?"

"I-" Her mouth quivered as she sealed it shut. Her heart(s?) were racing with fear.

Maria tilted her head in confusion. She gave a cursory glance behind her towards the fjords of orange that clouded the skatepark cement. Maria also took note of the Inkling sniper that gazed down at them from across the map. Aqua could not see Maria's face, but she could certainly see the sniper's. For whatever reason, the orange markswoman shoulder's rose in a tense suggestion of fright. They lowered, and while the sniper still gazed at them from her vantage point she did so with a...frightened expression?

Maria turned back with another smile. "Anything else you need?"

To say that Aqua was stunned would be a massive understatement. She simply shook her head as fast as she could for fear that her penance stare would stun her as well. Instead of blasting her face with a glare of epictime proportions, Maria did the unpredictable.

She smiled again, and Aqua grew all the more befuddled with her happy-go-lucky expression. "It's fine if you want to stay back. Splin, Sharq-"

Her eyes darted towards another Inkling who looked near identical to Splin. Except for his Takoroka Mesh, Banana Basics and opposite colored Anchor Tee, the boy who stood and fumbled with his Splat Charger was an almost perfect match with the same tanned skin and brown eyes. She noticed him sneak a glance at her with an almost perpetual smile on his face.

"And I," Aqua turned back to the very nice Maria, "I'll lead. You don't have to go out there and try anything magnificent, okay?"

She nodded so fast she felt like her head would fall off. Her short burst of excitement was reciprocated with a hearty giggle from Maria. Aqua felt bizarre as Maria ruffled the tentacles on her head and stood up, but she felt good. It was a strange feeling, really. A mix.

Aqua felt a small burst of adrenaline as she spoke, "O-Okay. I'll try not to let you down."

"A-At least, I hope so."

* * *

Aqua ran back into her home and dropped her Splat Charger by the main front door and made haste for the hall. As the wooden door shut behind her, she dashed down through the hall, past her mother. The woman gawked at her in surprise as Aqua sped past through the hall. She haphazardly slid into her own room as a pink squid at an alarming speed.

Her mother gasped as Aqua quickly stowed away her SQUID GIRL on top of the rack over her bed. "Aqua?"

The Inkling girl had not a word. She stuffed her face into her pillow quickly and hugged it with an excited whimper.

"Aqua, what's wrong?" Her mother reached out for her, one hand at her lips.

"H-Huh?" Aqua chattered and turned back from her pillow. A small smile crossed her face. "O-Oh! Nothing, n-nothing!"

Her mother stepped back, taken completely by surprise. "Why, what's going on?"

"I lost my first T-Turf War!" Aqua cheered, only bewildering her mother more.

Before her mother could ask, Aqua kicked off her round, white boots and wrapped herself up in her blankets contently. Her mother blinked in confusion. She simply reached for the door handle, reached for the light switch, and let the girl rest.

* * *

Day after day, Aqua's resolve grew more and more. Each day that passed, the little smile grew larger and larger. With a hop and a skip about Inkopolis, she smiled more and more in the light of day. Each evening she returned home, skepticism was ever prevalent in her parents, and yet the glee was ever contagious.

"B-Bye mom and dad!" She had squeaked one fine day as the sun beat down upon Inkopolis.

Her parents watched her leave the house from the hall with helpful waves and smiles. A batch of coins in her possession, she sped out the door as quick as she could and closed it behind her just as swiftly. As the light dimmed from within the household, both of them glanced at each other with a worried glare and crossed arms.

Her father sighed and gazed at the door hopelessly. "...When did she get so eager?"

"Maybe it's for the best." Her mother suggested with a pat to his shoulder. "She's stammering less and less too."

"She is." He admitted as his stare gravitated to the floorboards. "...I'm concerned. Aqua's changing."

"For the better," Aqua's mother reassured him, "For the better."

"...I hope so." Her father closed his eyes.

* * *

Aqua had stepped out of the house into the fresh air of Inkopolis and the sun outside. A chorus of round finches chirped and flocked about the trees that speckled the gray sidewalks about the black asphalt streets. She hummed and stepped about jollily- As jollily shivering and shaking in her own Aqua way was.

That is, until the missile crashed by her feet.

It was to be a simple day, really. She wanted to purchase lunch of some sorts. Maybe even chat with Splin or Sharq. As the days went by, Aqua's respect for her newfound friends grew. Maria, Splin, Sharq, they were all nice people. Although, as she thought about people, she had noticed a distinct lack of them as of late.

Her adventure out into the streets of Inkopolis soon switched into paranoia. She spun around to and fro. The streets appeared to be deserted aside from the advertisement plastered on a billboard or elsewhere. She glanced at what appeared to be the next date for a Squid Sisters' concert when she heard a thump.

Aqua froze at the corner of a street. She turned warily towards the sound. "H-Hello?" Her voice crooned meekly as she cowered from an unseen menace. "Is anyone there?"

She was answered in the form of ammunition. A missile, similar to those used in Turf Wars slammed into the cement nearby and left a crater. It skidded from the sidewalk onto the street and came to rest across the street on the other side. Aqua watched in horror as it started to smoke.

"Eek!" She screamed and retreated.

* * *

The young moon peaking over the horizon hardly called for sleep, and yet Aqua remained confined within the small perimeter of her room with a melancholy stare directed at the floor beneath her. As she sat on her bed with a miserable gaze at the floor, she could not ignore the noise any longer. Her cap, removed yet again, hovered just above her head and bed.

Her ears twitched in shame as she heard the unmistakable voice of her mother. "After that rampage? Absolutely not."

"You said it yourself!" Her father exclaimed in irritation. "She's never been happier here! Inkopolis is a great city, and you said she was warming up-"

"I NEVER said anything about robots, and neither did you!" Aqua's mother screeched back incredulously. Aqua shrunk in fear at the sound of her voice. "I- I can't. We can't live here anymore. Robots, malfunctioning equipment- They said that there were Octolings. Can you believe it?"

"I can't. There's no way there are any Octarians here." He protested. "You wanted to give this place a chance!"

Aqua ensnared herself in the confines of her cot and covered her ears with her pillow. She attempted to drown out the noise as her eye leaked pink onto her mattress as the mighty grip of sleep overtook her.

* * *

She hurried out the door with a simple, light blue suitcase. It was lightweight and compact. Sagged bags laid underneath Aqua's eyes as she sniffled. Her mother and father were packed as well.

"I'm sorry, Aqua." Her father had announced the night before. "We can't stay here any longer. Your mother and I have decided-"

Aqua tuned out yet again and responded with a melancholy nod of her head. As they departed from their house, she continued to stare forward with a disheartened look in her crystal blue eyes. They ventured across building and street, the wheels on the large flowered suitcase his father slugged around clattered with every line in the sidewalk they walked over. Each and every step became a blur as she let her trembling feeling in her chest and the tears in her eyes cloud her destination.

The unfocused Aqua carried on. In the back of her head she could hear watered down voices in the back and a mild vibration in her steps. She continued to walk along the sidewalk and gazed down at the symmetrical lines engraved in the sidewalk until she felt the vibrations grow.

"...a!"

Her eyes refocused in shock. Her pupils shrunk as she realized that the symmetry ended at a particularly large crack in the cement. The vibrations grew into tremors. The voices into shouts. Aqua gasped in shock and looked up.

A bizarre, metallic octopus thrashed about. A madwoman at the helm with tentacles like that of an octopus laughed maniacally. She pointed in one direction and the octopus followed her lead, although much more violently, by swinging a metal tentacle in the very same direction. The force displaced buildings and shattered the pavement with but a single smack.

Aqua's first instinct was to run, of course. She began to dash although a set of familiar voices shouted for her behind her. She hardly knew where. Unbeknownst to her, a large shard of shrapnel had been launched towards a building close to her. With the loud accompanying cacophony of glass shattering, the building started tilting precariously towards the ground.

She halted and skidded to a stop on the sidewalk. She gazed up at the building in terror. For a moment, her terror remained had her frozen.

"Aqua, no!" Her mother's voice screamed for her.

"Aqua!" Her father exclaimed.

She did not move. The tower began to give way.

"Get out of here, we've got this under control!" Sharq called out.

Aqua stepped back in shock. The building collapsed and smashed into the floor in front of her. Several fragments of debris scattered about and swept past Aqua's feet, such as shards of glass, bricks, uplifted concrete, and other dangerous materials. She felt a few scrape by her ankles and legs. She was unphased.

In front of the building, two scraggly looking brothers blinked back at her. Splin and Sharq, dirty with dust and powder left over by the building shook themselves free of the dirt and grime.

Sharq grinned and waved. "Oh, hi Aqua! We haven't seen you in a while!"

"Sharq, focus." Splin grumbled and turned to her. "Be careful, get to some shelter or something."

"...Yes." Aqua nodded certainly.

Her parents gazed on in a sort of awe. The brothers waved her off, Sharq grinned and said, "We'll see you later, okay?"

She could only nod. The two leapt back into the chaos of the city as panic and people ran amok. Yet Aqua still felt as though her legs were glued to the spot. She fell back towards the ground as the world spun around her.

"Aqua!" Came the concerned calls of her parents as she faded into the depths unconsciousness.

* * *

The day had come. Aqua gazed out of the train window out towards Inkopolis with a lonely sense of regret. The city looked picture perfect. There were very little, if any, cracks in the ground or debris scattered about. The train was hardly packed. After all, who wanted to leave a city of Inkopolis' caliber?

Aqua felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She glanced away from the window for a split second up at her mother's warm, yet saddened smile. "...I'm sorry. We can't stay any longer."

Aqua knelt down on the train seat, making sure that her legs relaxed contently and comfortably. They were bandaged. "...Yes."

"We can always come back for a vacation." Her father suggested to her apathetically. "You can see your friends again-"

"As long as there aren't anymore of...those incidents." Her mother put it simply.

"It's okay." Aqua stated plainly. "Splin and Sharq have it fine. They took down the last ones. It'll be alright."

The two adult Inkling glanced at each other in surprise. Though with uncertain faces, they turned to their daughter and nodded. Aqua could not help but giggle lightly and turn towards the window. She felt the train's movements as it lurched forward, away from Inkopolis Plaza. Her smile quickly dissipated as she watched her home bid adieu.

As the other Inklings in the plaza chattered amongst themselves, geared up for a Turf War, Aqua turned away from the window, slumped down in her seat, and closed her eyes as the train shoved off from the city of squids, robots, and references with a final chime.

* * *

AN: Didn't expect that? Neither did I. Enjoy a few minor snippets of Aqua's perspective in Inkopolis, because I doubt I'm ever gonna bring myself to writing about her again. Or for that matter, have the ability to write about her.

I don't really like self-advertising, but if there's anyone out there who liked this story and is still looking for a sequel, there's one by the name of The Brothers and the Others that I think you'll enjoy. It's a Splatoon story that picks up on the loose ends this one leaves out and I think it's much better than this one.

Uh, lemme just thank the reviewers on this story one last time. Thanks Dread Angel, Ultrapyre, qwertyzuiopas701 and the story guys for reviewing at the start of the year! It's been a crazy run, hasn't it?

Also, sorry about that nonsense, Anon360! I hope I didn't confuse you too much.

Thanks for reading again, this is ThePizzaLovingTurtle, see you in another story, or elsewhere.


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